Pros messaging non-pros who have looked at their profile but not messaged them

nurturingmannurturingman
edited July 2021 in Pro Cuddling

I have a question for pros, and I’d like to hear from enthusiasts & clients as well.

Pros: Do you ever message members who look at your profile but don’t message you, or do you figure if they really wanted to / were ready to book you for a session, they would have reached out to do so?

I am aware that the Cuddler Contract and Independent Contractor Agreement states:

  1. You agree to not initiate communication with our members unless you have reason to believe they will be interested in your services. Our membership includes enthusiasts (free) and clients. The website is designed for clients to reach out to professional cuddlers.

When a non-pro looks at your profile, do you see that as "reason to believe they will be interested in your services"? What factors do you consider in making the decision to reach out or do nothing?

Non-pros (enthusiasts and clients): What’s your take on the matter?

Comments

  • [Deleted User]CharlesThePoet (deleted user)

    I've been messaged by a number of pros, but never about retaining their services.

    It tends to be related to my profile, with questions or support, as a caregiver.

    Occasionally it will be in support or private discussion of a forum comment.

    I never take it the wrong way.

    I've made it clear, on my profile, that out of respect I do not initiate contact or messages. So anyone who reaches out to me is welcome to do so, of course.

    Saying, "No, thank you.", to solicitations is no big deal.

    Which, as a by the way, hasn't needed to happen yet.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    I would interpret an enthusiast visiting a professional's profile as satisfying the 'reason to believe' phrase.

    On a handful of occasions I have received an unsolicited message from a professional I've never heard of in the US. The initial messages themselves have always been appropriate, although usually scoring 0/7 for marketing or even social skill. I answer all messages on this site as a matter of principle, although the conversation in these cases sometimes began to take a turn towards the inappropriate. This doesn't bother me but it would be distressing for some people. At least one (or maybe even all) of them was banned shortly afterwards. I suspect these messages came from people in the unprofessional/sex worker categories: one certainly did (cam girl).

    A number of times I have been contacted by new professionals within striking distance of me. I would have probably visited their profile, but not necessarily. All of the messages were acceptable, and the conversation has always followed a normal course. I am very active on the site and in the forum, and have Karma from a number of professionals which marks me out as a person who hires different professionals. It could be argued that this would give a local professional sufficient "reason to believe".

    I am frequently contacted by professionals but wearing their 'forum' hat, which I take to be a different thing - they are not functioning as professionals in that context.

    For me, the critical point is that I do not want to receive spam. However, a message for me from a professional who is close enough to consider meeting is more than fine.

    There was quite a good thread on this topic, if you beat the search function over the head hard enough you might find it.

  • nurturingmannurturingman
    edited August 2021

    @CuddleDuncan ”if you beat the search function over the head hard enough you might find [the quite good thread on this topic].” That’s the problem. I always try to find threads that answer my questions, but the search function on this site is not very helpful. I did notice in an unrelated thread someone happened to mention that sometimes pros message local members who looked at their profile. That makes sense to me, though you never know if someone not local is planning a trip to your city, so even out-of-town/state/country members might be prospective clients.

    I also think it’s possible they might like to chat about something but don’t want to click a compose-message button labeled "Request to Book." This may scare off some members and discourage dialogue. I'm thinking if I message them it might put them at ease and welcome them to chat with me as a fellow enthusiast, which I still am even though I'm a pro— I mean I'm still enthusiastic about cuddling as an activity and a movement (what you call "wearing the 'forum' hat").

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    @nurturingman yes the forum search function is not great. I use google quite a lot of the time. I wasn't suggesting you hadn't searched btw, quite the opposite - that if remember rightly there is something worth looking for.

    I'm with you on the "request to book" button: it put me off at first.

    Rule 26 exists - rightly, in my view - to prevent spam. It is the case that this website exists to promote cuddling and survives on the revenue from professionals, so anything that drums up a bit of business is good in principle. (Yes I know you're on fixed fee not commission but it's the principle.) And finally, this is not a faceless bureaucracy, it's Sideon and Mark and Squeakytoy.

    You are also a very unusual case, in being a thoughtful male professional. You're not going to send spam in any event. If I were you I'd send a few thoughtful messages and see what happens. If somebody complains or you trigger some automated flag then you'll get your knuckles rapped and you won't do it again, but no real harm done.

  • Cntrydance28340Cntrydance28340
    edited August 2021

    I have had more than few pros message me trying to get me to come see them when I have not even looked at their profile. I have also had several message me after looking at their profile. One girl said she would have to charge me for travel when we started talking and she wasn't even a pro. She got banned very quickly thankfully. While we are on this subject, am I the only one who has noticed the plethora of new pros who signed up in July and only have one picture?

  • nurturingmannurturingman

    You’re not alone, @Cntrydance28340 , I’ve noticed it too! And I’ve seen some of them disappear just as quickly.

  • [Deleted User]CharlesThePoet (deleted user)

    “Pros” come and go, of course.

    It would be interesting, presuming they keep such metrics, to see how many professionals actually are profitable, that is, booking 20+ hours per month.

    I would guess about 1 in 80 women professionals and 1 in 4,000 male professionals.

    It’s a small market, even in big cities, and it is a very difficult job to do well.

  • nurturingmannurturingman

    I don't know if I would define profitability as 20+ hours per month. A man only has to pay $20 per month to be a "Pro" on this site, so technically a guy only has to book one session a month to profit. It's pretty common for a male pro to book zero hours per month, though, so many male pros don't even break even. I invested money in training and certification, so I'll have to book several sessions to offset those costs. For me, even 10+ hours a month would be profitable.

  • [Deleted User]CharlesThePoet (deleted user)

    @nurturingman

    I apologize, I meant no offense.

    I was automatically basing it on my way of thinking as a professional musician.

    If I don’t have 20 hours of gigs/studio sessions/lessons per week I feel like I should just be working at an office job… (granted that’s pre-pandemic.)

    That said, my standards are different as a fiber artist.

    With that I’m aiming for an average of $800.00 a month. That might be four or five custom amigurumi or scarf/hat sets in a month or one custom blanket every other month.

    If you feel successful at one client session per month than you are.

    Simple as that.

  • pmvinespmvines

    @nurturingman I am not a pro so not the target of your question. Just want to add that I welcome conversation and friendship from everyone, regardless of whether it is ever possible to meet in the real world . I visit people's profiles but dont necessarily always message. I think because I respect that this is an income source and a job for pros I don't always reach out to say hello because I dont want to.take away time and attention from their search for clients . That being said I do have some wonderful friendships with both pros and non pros who I likely wouldn't have if it weren't for them messaging me first.

  • nurturingmannurturingman

    @CharlesThePoet No offense taken, my friend! 🤗

    @pmvines Your perspective as a non-pro is exactly what I'm looking for. Based on what you and others here have said, I'm getting the impression that a friendly hello from a pro to someone who visited their profile might be just what the visitor needs in order to feel welcome.

  • CuddleWhoCuddleWho

    Non-pros (enthusiasts and clients): What’s your take on the matter?

    Receiving messages from pros happens to me occasionally but not that often. I'm okay with it. I think theoretically it makes sense for pros to seek out the clients they think they'd be compatible with, rather than just passively waiting for messages to come in and then filtering, the same way women do on dating sites. I'm surprised more pros don't send messages.

    Once I suggested to a pro that she could message people, and she said she didn't want to because it seemed "desperate." Which I think is a silly mentality in the dating world, and even sillier here.

    The large majority of messages I get from pros (not that there are tons of them) fit into one of these categories:

    1. "hi" - most of the messages I get from pros really are just "hi" or "hey"; this doesn't bother me but I don't really understand the point.
    2. messages that are a little more solicitous about business. This is okay.
    3. Spammy, salesy messages. This is annoying. I've actually blocked someone for this. Fortunately it's rare.
  • dontrememberdontremember

    Simply looking at a profile should not be "reason to believe they will be interested in your services". Consider this, when I see a pro in the listing of nearby cuddlers, all I know is her name, her rough location, her hourly rate and her photo. I don't know if she hosts or not, if she has animals in the house, if she smokes, if she has different rates for weekdays/weekends, if she travels, anything like that. There are pros who travel from city to city and may be visiting my area soon. Granted, those things may not be in her profile anyway, but I won't know unless I look. Just looking doesn't automatically mean I'm interested, it just means I want to see what she wrote, so i can decide if I'm interested.

  • nurturingmannurturingman

    That was one of my considerations, @dontremember . What would you think of a message like the one below?

    Hi! Thanks for visiting my profile today. If you have any questions or anything to say, please feel free to use the "Request to Book" button just to open a line of communication, and don't worry— it doesn't obligate you to book a session with me. ☺️

  • dontrememberdontremember

    @nurturingman that seem like a reasonable message, depending on the timing. I got one similar to that, back when I was just thinking about trying cuddling. It came over as rather aggressive, not in the content, but because it was within about 20 minutes of me looking at her profile. We exchanged a couple of messages and left it at that. A few months later, with no other contact, she restarted the conversation with a similar "I'm passing through, any interest?" message. Again, the content was fairly neutral, but with no other contact in 5 or 6 months, it came over as a bit aggressive. I don't think I even visited her profile in that time.

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