Under investigation [/Mark]
In the beginning of 2020, I went through an experience here that hasn’t sat well and I feel like the way professional cuddlers are viewed strongly needs to change. At that time I had been cuddling for over 2 years, and had a particular moderator interested in meeting with me, at the time I wasn’t sure if I should because I didn’t understand the purpose of us meeting, was I being interviewed or being watched? Why meet me if it wasn’t for my services? Since I don’t meet with people unless they’re interested in my services, since it was a mod wanting to meet, I figured ok, I didn’t think he was interested in cuddling, so that wasn’t on my mind at all. We went for dinner, had a good time, then he talks me into traveling with him to New York, I went because I had never been to New York and figured there’s my opportunity to go, he made it best that I would have to spend the night with him and he’d drive me in the morning, I was going along because I wanted to trust this guy, but I did not feel comfortable that I wasn’t given my space, my space to not be touched at all, he talked to me about how the owner of this website does not pay him, but does indeed send him free cuddles, I can’t help but to think “was I somehow forward to him for a free cuddle session that I never even consent to?” He had me sleep in the same bed, I didn’t think at the time we’d be cuddling but he held me, I felt confused because why was he holding me? I’ve been a victim of sexual abuse so I shut down, I wish I could have said no, he petted my stomach and talked about his cuddle experiences, affairs, other random things. But I felt strange the entire time. The next morning I wanted to immediately go so I booked something early, Afterwards I felt like he was watching my activity, he wanted to go to my hotel in New York, all this time he’s not saying exactly what does he want from me, (like if he’d been clear from the start he wanted to cuddle, I would have said no, even if he was paying for it because I take my business serious, it’s like asking your hairstylist friend for free haircuts or expecting free services because your what? Wanna feel special? But will rush, jump, practically shout from excitement to ban someone else for behaving inappropriately, but not once assume your behavior may be inappropriate as well?) anyways, He then offers to bring me food, which I figured ok sure, cause I hardly eat when I travel, he brings food, makes himself comfortable and jumps in my bed, I’m just thinking “it’s late I don’t want to cuddle him” being a professional cuddler , there’s always a fee, the website takes a cut of that fee, and here was this moderated expecting free cuddles and time with me, I didn’t feel like I owed him anything but why was he there? I don’t know. I sat on my bed quiet, uncomfortable, hours passed slowly and he fell asleep, I thought “is he going to spend the night? What is his plan?” I didn’t know anything but yet there we where, I woke him up and told him I couldn’t sleep with strangers in my bed, it was as nice as I could tell him to leave. He leaves and never again have I wanted to meet with him again. But why have I been so afraid to even speak about it? The thing is I should not be afraid to speak, I had no reason to be in that situation in the first place but as he demonstrated the amount of access he has to our profiles, it hasn’t sat well at all. I feel like I was watched long before he met me and figured I was kind enough to just go with it. But everything I witnessed and how he pushed to be around me, not once did I ever get an apology. And if I needed help for any problem I encountered on this website, who really can I trust? If we are being watched and used only to benefit the pleasures men seek, what is the point of us being here? I have respected everyone I encountered on this website, if I’m rude is because I have to be, but I have done my absolute best at being genuine, kind, respectful, and give others the comfort I could never have, but I feel like it’s too much to ask to be respected, and from personal experience any time I speak up against things I am against, it upsets people, I don’t wish to upset anyone, I just been through things that don’t sit well, how would anyone else have responded in my situation? Any advice to better move forward would help. I feel like I’m not good with putting things in words cause I’ll end up crying….