@FunCartel has a point! Approach can be everything, especially if you are in a small town where there aren’t many available cuddle buddies. Those that are available most likely prioritize friendly messages as they can have many people reaching out daily.
I’m much more excited to respond to a message that says “Hey! I saw your profile and liked that you also enjoy this movie.” Or even a simple “Hello, how’s your day going? I’d love to connect when you get the chance” as opposed to some drier messages such as “When are you available” or “Are you free tonight”
@FunCartel ~ I was willing to acknowledge points they made and learn a bit. Just a strategy that can make you stand out from the usual “Hey you wanna cuddle and crush some cabbage?”
"crush some cabbage" ~ 🤣 lol!!
And great advice through this one too!!
@420Snuggler in addition to the good advice posted here you might find this thread helpful:
https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/forum/discussion/10731/how-i-found-happiness-on-cuddle-comfort#top
I think "marketing yourself" is really sort of hacking human nature to maximize the amount of interest that the greater numbers of people will have in you. @FunCartel sounds like he knows what he's talking about. But @CharlesThePoet brings up a profound truth: people are built to help each other. We are capable of immense compassion and willingness to carry one another's baggage. As a strategy of survival, it was likely crucial else we might not have gotten here, to then populate the world with billions of people, who sometimes forget our original programming to help one another. "Of Human Bondage" is a story that refers to this dichotomy, and it's one of the greatest books/movies ever. I think everybody here wants to help OP but strangely it's not likely that people will line up to cuddle the sad, depressed, lonely guy.
it's not likely that people will line up to cuddle the sad, depressed, lonely guy.
There is truth and then there is reality. The reality is in the quote above. However, the fallacy in all this is to declare there is only one truth. Another truth that isn’t mentioned is there are multiple facets of every person good and bad. Yes, we can carry someone’s baggage, but we can only carry so much baggage at a time and when you only present the baggage but fail to give the destination then it is all pointless.
I am saying use the other truth—that there is more to you than sadness and depression. There are emotions you would rather feel than the sadness and depression and those emotions and happiness are the destination. As one person said, everyone wants to help. But human nature is reciprocal and you have to figure out the other person’s needs or desires as well. By showing other facets of yourself that you would prefer to experience more often you will engage others to help you.
The other dynamic at play is he is reaching out to females who would absolutely love to help, but many have been assaulted, frightened, or been viewed as a carrier of emotional baggage and not as a human being. Men have unquestionably created reticence in women and a woman’s healing powers is a thing to be earned as a result. This is why the sad, lonely and depressed guy needs to “market” himself. He needs to present the destination for his baggage. If you want to call it marketing and get bogged down in semantics you are only creating another obstacle to helping yourself or someone helping you.
So what would presenting the destination of your baggage look like? Not too much different than what he has written in his profile by simply twisting what is wrong and restating it slightly. For example, he might say “I believe cuddling has the power to help ease my pain, but I am drained and need someone to take that journey with me even if for a couple of hours. In return, I offer you a safe environment furnished with respect and care whether I come to you or you come to me.” There is a cry for help as well as an assurance of respect and safety. You always have to communicate and make it about both parties.
There will always be profound truths but those truths depend on finding prime nesting places in reality. Working with these two dynamics—truth and reality—can be a juggling act and requires work by all. That is a universal truth.
@FunCartel Wonderfully stated! I love that cuddling is a platform to be an asset to people, thinking back to when I was younger and acted with much inconsideration and blindness towards others. Totally agree that people would be delighted to help but don't wish to regret it. As the saying goes, "Let no good deed go unpunished". Life really is a series of negotiations. Personally, I'm still learning a lot about them, such as advocating for myself as well as enlarging my ability to do compassionate things. In recent years I've become a massage therapist, which is an ideal vehicle for being compassionate. As I've developed skills, and increased demand, I need to be able to convey the depth and breadth of my abilities, so as to help more people. They come to me seeking help, but they also help me become better and happier. My clients will not beat a path to my door without the marketing.
@FunCartel ~ Lovely. 😊🤗
Agreed, @quixotic_life - I think you all got this thread back on track... and created a nice scenic journey, too.
@CharlesThePoet
I see where you're coming from, but I don't NEED to cuddle. I do it because I want to, I enjoy it, and it's a nice way to meet new people. I could go the whole year without cuddling and be happy.
I really think the OP needs something other than cuddling. He mentions how his home life is bad. My guess is he thinks cuddling somebody will fix all his problems. It might feel that way in the moment, but I think he needs to fix his home life first.
And add that to the smoking. The poll on here shows that over 70 percent of people wouldn't cuddle with a smoker. So if the OP sent 20 messages, 14 would be automatically rejected.
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A lot to take in. Thanks everyone! I think my profile is looking pretty good now. Let me know what you think.
I also couldn’t figure out how to change my name
Oh and my problem was that I wasn’t messaging any pros. Skipped over the filter somehow lol
"He needs to fix his home life first" no, he doesn't. People are free and it is healthy to have a social life even if they don't have their whole life in order. For some, socializing helps them in ways you might not even begin to understand. Over and done with.
Back to @420Snuggler , with time and the right approach I believe you will find good people to spend time with. 🌻
@420Snuggler You can change your name but I do not know how. But the ones who can tell you are @Sideon , @Gary, or @mark. Message them and ask how to do it.
Your profile is looking much better!
PS. To change your username if on mobile: tap for instance the home icon > your profile on the top right corner > settings > tap your username.
@420Snuggler I had the same luck as you a few months ago. NOT a single reply . I tried OLD sites On Line Dating Sites with a little success. BUT much better then cc I used the worst of the worst Plenty of Fish . Free messaging You have to contact people who have any thing to do with cuddling in the bio. Its a little time consuming Out of approx. 50 I got 3 reply's. out of the three, One worked . Another one I would rather not talk about . good luck