I like to grab some tea, work on some light to-dos, and check out the forum for any new nuggets of wisdom I can gleam. Shout out to the wisdom I found tonight (by @CuddleDuncan)
Hope everyone has a snuggly weekend
When she cancels (especially last minute), I go do one (or several) of the myriad of things I do when she isn't around. One person isn't my world and doesn't have the power to affect me that much unless I give it to her. Find your purpose and chase that, not women.
It’s a good question.
I tend to give myself permission to feel bummed out and perhaps annoyed for a bit, depending on circumstances.
Then I remember that life is chaotic, crap happens, and it probably isn’t about me.
And I forgive it, and let it go.
Next I pop on some headphones, grab a random playlist, and get back to work on my project, or the game, or whatever thing I need to do next for my Mom and the household.
My answer to isolation, loneliness, and depression is to DO STUFF.
So far it is working.
1) Do what I can to help and support the person who has cancelled on me, e.g. in regards to rearranging the session. They are presumably having a bad day.
2) Arrange a sesssion with another cuddle professional. I've just had a disappointment, so I create something to look forward to even if it's a couple of weeks away.
It depends on why/how it was cancelled and how I feel about my overall interaction. I may feel sad by it, relieved, meh/understandable or indifferent.
Though getting flaked on/being stood up is part of the reason why I have certain systems in place to help mitigate the effects. Especially with someone new who I can't really tell whether or not they are genuine in their reasoning. Or using it to covertly reject.
PS. I'd generally avoid being the one to rearrange a meeting if someone cancels, because it is their responsibility to pick the ball back up and most likely if they weren't using it as an excuse, they will pick it back up. Depending on the reason, the longer they take to do that, likely the less interest they have in you and that information is for you to do with/navigate as you see fit.
Though should the reason be something catastrophic, then I can be understanding, patient and depending on the connection be supportive. However I avoid investing much in being supportive towards people I barely know whether or not they accept me, when my goal is to have some kind of relationship: cuddleship, friendship, etc., with them. Unless it is for something like a charity for which I've the resources for and a clear goal that I'm practically just there to help and be cordial. Should I fail to follow that guide, if or moreso when I'm dropped like a hot potatoe, I am really just left with me feeling/looking like a fool for pouring into someone who may not even want that from me. Or who has no interest/investment in me. Do that once, twice or ocassionally and it may not feel so bad. Do it many a times and you are likely to become a doormat which can lead to you being "a nice _____". Especially if you aren't aware of this method.
I think this quote has a ton of truth to it:
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"Givers need to set limits because takers rarely do. - Irma Kurtz"
While this is never ideal, it does happen! I’ve had to cancel on two people ( booked within the same weekend ) due to a serious scratch to my cornea. Absolutely not pleasant and at the time quite worrisome as my vision was blurred, my eye swollen and in pain. Luckily these were both regular cuddle buddies who expressed genuine concern and understanding. I was able to provide a couple days notice and let them know if I was well enough I would definitely be ready for cuddles. I Did have to get them both rescheduled. It meant a lot to me that they cared and understood that I cared. The last thing I wanted to do was miss an opportunity to cuddle and connect when their time is just as important as mine and their schedules had been cleared in anticipation of an amazing experience. On the flip side, I’ve also been cancelled on. I completely understand life happens and am completely respectful and willing to reschedule if desired. The more notice the better, but again, things happen. This happened recently and without advance notice. So what did I do? I embraced the fact that while things didn’t go as I anticipated or expected I’d just been gifted a full day to spend with my family and friends. I did exactly that and my heart is content living in the moment and rolling with things as they come. This is valuable post though as it allows us to share how we handle this experience. I truly appreciate the different perspectives and insight.
@Cntrydance28340
Glad to see another have same sentiment in here.
More fellas act like this things will change
During this weird time, I've had people cancel because of a sore throat or sniffles, which is good! No need to risk anything. But it still leaves a bit of a hole where my nuturing fix was going to go. So I also make a cup of tea and then play with my cats while listening to a nonsense podcast. Right now it's Chatting Tatum, and yes I did spell that correctly.