I think age stops being just a number when there is a power imbalance. When there is a significant age difference, especially where one party is a new adult, the older person has a lot more world experience and knowledge, which translates into a power imbalance.
My live-in cuddle buddy is seven years younger than me. I told him about this thread and we both laughed because I'm so immature he's basically a cradle robber!
Age really doen't matter much. It's so much more the connection, trust and availability that make for good cuddles.
That said, I'd be shocked if I met and cuddled someone with only half the number of trips around the sun as I have. Not that I wouldn't. I'd just be surprised.
@Sheena123 , right on! (I'm looking to steal pictures of your three handsome "gentlemen", in their ties, to calm my growing cat withdrawal syndrome! lol)
@CharlesThePoet , I CANNOT WAIT TO CUDDLE YOU. Did I say that out loud?
This is a sticky one, for me. I understand the concept that "age is nothing but a number", but meeting with a real, live person (with their HUGE energetic imprints, walking, talking, ALIVE presence), I worry that I'd feel uncomfortable and jittery being that close to someone who is waaaay younger than I am? Yes, there are dynamic, mature, strong-minded individuals who have earned their respective stripes as younger people, I get that. Maybe I haven't sorted things out in my own mind, yet, about the purpose of cuddling. I just feel HUGELY UNCOMFORTABLE with cuddling someone vastly younger than myself..
I'm not vaccinated, though, so it may not even be an issue that I'll have to "grow through," after all! lol Imajen
@Connecticut1977 I totally agree! I cuddle all ages as I am a nanny lol. Maybe the better the is coddle when it comes to those under teenage years. Those cute munchkins.
@CuddleDuncan I forget my age sometimes too. I turned 27 in June and although I still feel 19 I used to say I'm 25/26 mistakenly. 😂
One additional thing I'd like to add to piggy back off of @phil123cuddle and @MGKelly63 is that in this day and age I have met numerous people who have matured very early in life due to its experiences, such as myself.
Although your statements are valid, being open to people of different backgrounds, diversities, and manners/stages of life can be worth wild. 😊
I've met people older than me that were on the lower end of the maturity spectrum lol
@SoftPetals Thanks for your input, when I said mature, I meant in the sense of someone being closer to my age range, and being able to relate to life experiences I’ve had. I would cuddle someone any age as long as they are 18 & older, on my profile I have 18 to 100 for my age preference.
Age is not just a number, it represents a stage in life. We don’t have to be limited and defined by our age but to refuse to acknowledge its significance is folly.
I have friends of many ages, always have. When I was 19 years old I shared an apartment with 3 other people. One was 24, one was 27, and one was 50.
I do not discriminate on the basis of age, I discriminate on the basis of whether someone is interesting.
I think we do put undue emphasis on age. Why must we supply our ages so many places? What’s so wrong with saying that this is personal information I do not wish to share? In India, for example, when you fill out a form for anything, you have to put down whether you are married and your religion. In America, we consider that personal information that we do not usually share without a concrete and obvious need for it. Asking for any personal information should be done only when it’s needed and warranted to make a decision. That is, to say, to discriminate, in the broad sense of the word. So when we ask for age or any other property like gender, race, religion etc, we are basically saying that we need to know these things so that we can treat you differently. Do we really think it’s fair to treat people differently based on these things. Why can’t we answer the question of age with “I’m of adult legal age and that’s all that’s relevant in the context of our interaction”?
@dave31415
“Why can’t we answer the question of age with ‘I’m of adult legal age and that’s all that’s relevant in the context of our interaction’?”
This is an excellent question, and I wrestle with it.
I only have one answer that makes any sense, and that is pragmatic…
It is best to weed out the people who care about that right off the bat.
If any of my being 6’5”, male, cis, and 51 is enough for someone to not want to interact with me, good riddance.
I don’t think it’s wrong for a person to ask. If it’s important to them, so be it. But I don’t like the idea of a website requiring you to supply the info and display it publicly. There should just be an option if you don’t feel comfortable saying just as there is with gender, religion and body type. Obviously you need to be 18 or above for practical reasons if not strictly legal ones.
I honestly feel better and excuse my shallowness, think I’m better looking at 50 than I have been anytime in my life.
When will we be in the age where age does not matter? We already have ageist views about cheese, wine and alcoholic spirits. We don’t schedule cuddles seven years out and hope it wasn’t a bad year when we scheduled it. Nor will I sit in a wooden barrel waiting to cuddle. Age is just a concept we adopted for classification purposes and not what comes to my mind when meeting with someone. I have had sessions with people of all ages and these people have been all over the map as far as intelligence, personality, wealth, intuition and aura, but I would testify that none of of it corresponded with age in any predictable manner.
HOWEVER, I understand why some people are concerned with age. Thoughts like “she could be my daughter” or “that guy might be old enough to collect social security” can prejudice one’s views. But those are social constructs and I find cuddling to be an activity where people can momentarily escape many of the constructs that we have to contend with any other time. Cuddling is like Calgon—it takes me away. And that comparison just showed my age.
@Morpheus I get that. I was just thinking the other day that I feel like I'm better looking than I was when I was younger. I don't think I really am, I just think other people in my age group have aged more. Genetics, stress, smoking, drinking etc. age people.
Oh, I should perhaps mention that here in the UK it is illegal to ask somebody their age as a part of a job hiring process.
You are allowed to ask how much experience they have and things like that so you can always figure it out near enough. But it's an important symbol.
I sometimes get asked how old I am outside of this site and after I reply there is a sudden good-bye. I find it irrelevant and from now on I will just say: “I’m of adult legal age and that’s all that’s relevant in the context of our interaction”! Well said @dave31415.
I am 39 and feel 29, so yes, for me age is just a number. I cuddle with all ages. I have cuddled people 21 to 67. This is a platonic service, so age shouldn’t matter. It's the genuine connection that matters. I don’t think CC should display our age either.
@Healing_Cuddle unless you are under some kind of legal obligation at the time, just say "I'm 29 and a bit" which is true.
Actually, somebody who is going to make false and prejudicial assumptions based on the truth doesn't deserve it: just say 29, or very early thirties, or frankly anything you damn well please.
And welcome to the forum!
Thank you @CuddleDuncan!
I have sometimes told people, “I’m 80! I look really good for my age, don’t I?”
That anyone feels the need to conceal, or lie about it tells you how important it is.
It’s only important if an individual gives it importance. If someone does not give it gravitas, then age is irrelevant. In other words, if someone conceals their age, it is only important to them, it does not make age important as the person who they are concealing it from may not give two BMs about it.
I've dated a girl 10 years younger (I was 35 she 25), and a woman 13 years older (me 37, she 51). They both were/are special to me and both will always have a piece of my heart. As long as who they are and their energy levels and everything like that mesh with yours, then yea, it doesn't matter a whole lot
I briefly dated a guy who was young enough to be my grandkid. I had to check his driver’s license just to make sure. HE was the one who initiated it. I don’t usually worry about what people think of me - this made me worry what people would think of me. We had a really nice time together. Towards the end he asked me to meet his parents. I’m 10 years older than his parents! I have never been so nervous to meet anyone in my life. Turned out we knew lots of people in common because of professional connections. They liked me.
Please don’t tell me that age is “just a number.”
Yeah, age is definitely not just a number— any more than -100 is just a number if it’s your checking account balance or 1 is just a number if it’s how many lungs you have. That said, there are many factors that make up each individual and their relationship, and communication is a great leveler. I have cuddled with a female pro who was easily young enough to be my daughter, yet when she held my head to her chest it reminded me of when I was a little kid and my mom was their age. I believe there are lots of great cuddles to be had between people of different ages. In the best moments, differences just slip away and two people feel at one with each other.
Yes. Age does not have to be a barrier.
As a child, I hated the way adults talked to me. It was clear it was through the filter of “child.” Occasionally I’d encounter one who spoke to me as a person. They paid attention to who I actually was rather than their image of who they thought I should be. I appreciated that and kept that same attitude in life.
When I was in my late 50s I met a 14 year old fiddler. We played music together and became best of friends. I fell in love with a man in his 80s. I have dance partners in their 20s, 30s, and 40s. Last night I was cuddling with a friend in their mid 30s, two days before with a friend my own age.
Sometimes a significant age difference is an advantage. I’ve had a number of younger male friends who could relate to me more openly than their contemporaries because they did not see me as dating material, which took the sexual tension out of the situation. They would talk to me about girls, their difficulties in relating to them. I learned a lot about men from them and they learned a lot about women from me.
In some of my (pre-COVID) dance circles I’m very aware of how I conduct myself because I’m significantly older than most of the dancers. I don’t let that stop me but I also don’t want to be seen as a creepy older woman who is there trying to pick up young guys, which I’m not. It doesn’t stop me from being friendly or dancing with anyone but I avoid behavior that might be seen as flirtatious precisely because of the age dynamics.
Age does not need to be a barrier but depending on the type of relationship, the greater the gap, the more I might proceed with caution so as to avoid creating a problem.
@Babichev I know I am 1000% late but I really agree with and appreciate the last comments you made. Very eloquent and very well spoken and ON POINT.
At 80 years old, I might believe that age is just a number, but I can't seem to convince any of the over 100 women in my area that I've sent messages to. So far, I've received all of five replies, none positive.
I may not be the most handsome guy in the world, but I'm not bad looking either. I have a fairly detailed profile, including several photos. My initial messages have all just been attempts to start a conversation. I can only conclude that they all think that I'm too old to cuddle.
Many people like to say that "age is just a number." I think that few really believe it.
Assuming we are talking about adults here:
There are many things that make up a person. Age is just one of them. Where you're born is another, your height, your interests, your skills, etc etc. There is a propensity in people to gravitate towards people like us. So it depends on that particular person if they believe the age of someone matters.
@GreatHornedOwl I messaged a lady that said I was too young for her. I can't control other's preferences so it is what it is.
For friends and cuddles any age is good for me. Most of my friends are between 30 and 40 or over 70. But if I ever have a romantic relationship again I want someone close to my age maybe a tad bit younger. Because I’m young at heart. But I don’t want someone saying is that your mother🤣🤣 People always say don’t care what people think, but in this situation I do.
@GreatHornedOwl don't you worry or give up. From what I can see you seem like a very sincere and honest person. I can tell you that those people who wasn't interested, they are going to miss out on a treat. Keep up the open mindedness!!!!!
@KozyKim I must say that you are one in a million. Anyone who has a session with you is incredibly blessed. I can't wait till my day comes. I will definitely feel like a 7 time Super Bowl winner.