Starting all over in a brand new place, have you? would you?

cuddles_ndreamcuddles_ndream
in General

Have you ever thought of up and leaving one day to a place you’ve never been to before & starting all over? does the thought of this excite you or scares you, have you done this already & if so, how did it turn out? was it everything you thought it would be / for the better or maybe worse, did you leave all your problems behind or did they come with you? ect

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Comments

  • Mela_BMela_B

    I have started over a few times. I have lived in fifteen US states. It's exciting and rewarding. I've been lonely at times, but I can remedy that myself, as I am extroverted and adventurous. Seeing new places and meeting new people has served me well.

  • Ahmedali999Ahmedali999

    It's amazing but scares me and I'm uncomfortable moving places. Even my house is terrible but still I don't like moving into a new environment.

  • cuddles_ndreamcuddles_ndream

    @Mela_B thats pretty awesome !! I’m sooo curious now like, what 15 states have you lived, what made you move or start all over in those different places, were the 15 places completely different from each other or similar… soo many questions but don’t want you to think I’m intruding, feel free to answer or not, I just think its very cool & brave as I’m introverted / very comfort zone / & have only lived in one other state for several years (which didn’t really count because it was part of my job at the time)

  • cuddles_ndreamcuddles_ndream

    @Ahmedali999 yup I get this, I’m very comfort zone, so although I think this would be such an adventure, I’m afraid to take that step lol

  • Mela_BMela_B

    Most of them were moves with my parents, but some of them were moves with friends, roommates, or partners. And sometimes I moved back home alone because it didn't work out.

  • Ahmedali999Ahmedali999

    @cuddles_ndream 🤣🤣 we should take a step to try

  • cuddles_ndreamcuddles_ndream

    @Mela_B ty

  • cuddles_ndreamcuddles_ndream

    @Ahmedali999 the older I get, the more I’m like “f” it 😅😅 I just might in the near future 🌌 (but not too far 😝 lol)

  • LetsholdeachothLetsholdeachoth

    You will always bring your problems with you because wherever you go, there you are. A new place doesn't solve the problems, just makes you forget about them temporarily.

  • cuddles_ndreamcuddles_ndream

    @Letsholdeachoth 💯!

  • sunnysideupsunnysideup

    @Letsholdeachoth Might make it easier to get over those old problems though, new environment might lead to new daily activities which might slowly change brain chemistry enough over time who knows. But agree that simply relocating does not solve one's problems.

  • BabichevBabichev
    edited October 2021

    My two requirements for relocating are that I know I’ll be able to support myself and I have good social connections there. So, no.

    New circumstances may give us the opportunity to start over but we’re still the same person we were before.

  • applepie55applepie55

    Im actually about to set off to do the #vanlife thing for a while. I hope to visit most national parks and find hidden gems. I am nervous and I know it will be a challenge but I am ready. Ive been building my van with my own hands and I’ve come across sooooo many difficult bridges but I’ve made it through. I’m super adventurous and love meeting new people so I’m excited to see where the wind will take me.

    @sunnysideup I agree. I am running away and I’m very okay with saying that. I am running away from toxic relationships and environment. I know that just being somewhere different won’t fix all my problems but it will give me the space to figure it out/work it out.

    “There is no comfort in the learning zone and no learning in the comfort zone”
    -unknown

  • cuddles_ndreamcuddles_ndream

    @sunnysideup that’s a really nice look at it! many many years ago when I left to VA, things played out just like that

    @Babichev so true , I feel like If I ever decide to do something like this I may have to compromise on the social connection part since it’ll be a totally new place & just hope for the best

    @applepie55 im excited for you : ), ty for the quote! I hope you share some of your adventures with us or make a thread in the forum as your personal journal 📔 diary

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    I have known a lot of people who have done this. In most cases the whole thing was highly successful. It's tough if you don't speak the language and/or can't work legally, but if you have both of those you're golden.

    It's considerably easier if you have one (or more) connections on which to land. An old friend who lives there, a job lined up, anything like that. However, it's perfectly achievable without that.

    Most, as I said, succeeded. I have seen one or two fail, and one or two meet disaster. The disasters (moving your whole family to the ends of the earth for a new job, company goes bust the day after you arrive) were largely unavoidable, and are the risk you take. The failures were all made inside the people, and usually came down to lack of determination to make it a success or not having a clear idea of why they were doing it

    Some problems travelled with them of course. But a surprising number stayed behind. You can't escape from yourself, but you can escape from your existing life.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    When you have moved around since the beginning of your life as I have it is not even close to being scary.

  • izkantiizkanti

    Sure, I've moved cities / regions (sometimes also countries) 5 times in my independent life, every time by myself and not having a single close person in the new location. Every place has offered me wildly different kinds of growth opportunities. In every new environment I find myself over time becoming a different person (one that has been shaped by specifically this environment and no longer the previous one), meaning totally different set of interests, priorities, values and perspectives, sometimes even a quite different matrix of strengths and weaknesses.

    I find the quite common discussion point about moving to "escape oneself" sort of strange, my challenge has been rather the reverse, to try to find out if I actually have a "self" that remains consistent irrespective of environment and if so, what that is

  • cuddles_ndreamcuddles_ndream

    @CuddleDuncan ah I see, I think you mean it more opportunity wise, I come from this & most of the people / families where I’m from … I meant it more like starting all over , on a personal level … a personal journey … but everything you said is 100% true

    @FunCartel that’s very cool! Life would be such an adventure … the feeling that wherever you are, or you lay your hat, it is home.

    @izkanti that is so brave & very admirable !!

  • OhioMikeOhioMike

    I just counted it up and I had moved 17 times by @ age 40. Family reasons when I was younger to employment reasons when I was adult. I think it helped me be who I am today. I so much enjoy meeting people all over and this site really can help you with that! :)

  • cuddles_ndreamcuddles_ndream

    That’s pretty cool @OhioMike 😄

    Would you say you have a favorite place, or do you appreciate all

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    I think the difficult part is staying put in one place for any length of time.

  • OhioMikeOhioMike
    edited October 2021

    @cuddles_ndream , I definitely appreciate all. And I appreciate them over and again!. I have never bought into the thinking that.... "I have already been there, so I don't want to go there!".... philosophy .

  • greggerzgreggerz

    I've thought about moving across the country and getting a fresh start, but I'm not in a place financially I could do it without a job lined up the day I got there. It's a vicious cycle sometimes.

  • [Deleted User]sameyeam (deleted user)

    I think maybe twice I have, first I moved away from the town I grew up in and cut ties with my "friends" because of their toxic behavior, and moved to the city and spent 10 years there, unfortunately everyone there was very cliquey, so it was hard to meet and find genuine friends there. Last year I moved back to the town I grew up in when the pandemic started, so in a way its like I did it twice. I'd love to just move to another state at some point.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel
    edited October 2021

    Funny thing about moving to another place. Each time you move there are people there acting similar to the people you left because people are people even if they are sporting a different accent.

    We always want what we haven’t experienced and discover that we have the same dissatisfaction in the end. Location doesn’t change you; you change you.

  • ILikeWarmHugsILikeWarmHugs
    edited October 2021

    Sometimes I wish I would just do it. But I don’t know where I’d go or what I’d do when I got there.

  • TheMidnightOwlTheMidnightOwl
    edited October 2021

    Yes and yes. Have done it multiple times for as many reasons. As the saying goes, wherever you go, there you are. If you’re running from problems they’ll pack themselves in a box and come with you.

  • UKGuyUKGuy

    I moved from the UK to the USA. Then I moved from New York to Florida, then to Arizona, then to Texas, then back to Arizona.

  • cuddles_ndreamcuddles_ndream

    @UKGuy there's just something about Arizona 🌅

  • cuddles_ndreamcuddles_ndream

    @ILikeWarmHugs i realized, that it wouldn’t matter where in the world I am as long as the people I care most about are right there.

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