@GracieGirl first time with a different pro in the beginning I wasn't uncomfortable.after trying I'm fine with it. It's thier choice the problem is they judge without trying. Try it first. ☝️
@cuddles_ndream 🤣🤣 🙏 i was like you in the beginning wasn't comfortable when I been told boyfriend at home. But when I tried it was fine 🤗
I can't confirm this. But it was an hotel cuddle sesh. I have a impression her bf was in the car the entire time. Picking up bits n pieces ( things she told me during the cuddle sesh) im like, Wait........
@Ahmedali999 Hahaha!💪🏿 Thank you!
It isn’t terribly fair, but for safety’s sake I assume that all dogs bite and all men are violently jealous and possessive.
If I were to meet an enthusiast, and if they were in a relationship, I would absolutely want to meet and hangout with their relationship partner to get a real sense of them.
If that was off the table, or if I found out afterwards that they were in a relationship, I would be done.
I don’t ever want to play the part of a statistic on a government chart.
As long as there's consent and transparency about it, I'm not going to judge a relationship I'm not a part of.
Everyone has their own boundaries set and each relationship can look different.
Being poly with two partners that I've dated 3 and 6 years now, that both accept and love what I do for others, they wouldn't mind if they were home and I was working, however, I typically will work around my main partners schedule when booking so there isn't someone home during a session. Because I can/do see how it can be distracting and also it's a respect thing so my partner can come home after work and just relax too. Important to me that all areas of my life are considered.
Hell, he will go get a beer and chill out somewhere nearby if I have a client (my treat of course) so I'm lucky to have a very laid back lifestyle with lots of communication and honesty.
I think some of these responses reminds us why platonic touch therapy and cuddling is such an essential and missing part to our society and why I'm such an advocate for just having open communication to begin with your partner/yourself about what is touch to you as a person and why you feel the way you do about it.
Then ask yourself, am I limiting my experiences due to what others taught me, or is this a boundary that is very important to you?
Can you make room to view other ways to grow as a person or is it impacted in your cranium to be uncomfortable with what we have yet to learn about ourselves?
Anyways 5am musings. Happy Cuddling all! 😌
My concern is The OP used two words that raise huge incel red flags…fluffing (thinking cuddling is sexual) and “Chad” who in incel circles is the archetypical guy who is good looking and gets all the hot women which is so unfair to the incel who is a “nice guy”. Proceed with caution.
"Seems like a fluffer for Chad." I don't think that most men who are okay or seem to be okay with this, * "this" referring to cuddling, * are like that. I take it that's a sexual fetish terminology, so I don't think most would be like that if any and even of those who may be, I take it they wouldn't intentionally do such thing or dwell on it without consent and via the proper context. Besides cuddling isn't sexual and if someone wanted to be like that, they could seek that. Which reduces the chances of such issue even more.
Comments on other threads: "I don't understand why there aren't any women wanting to cuddle with men!?!"
Comments on this thread: "Men are absolute monsters, I'm one myself and I don't even trust having one in the same house as me."
Not directed at anyone, just made me chuckle 😂
Fluffer is someone really warming someone up for the grand finale for another. I'm surely not talking about no fluffy bunny rabbits
@GracieGirl
I never question why anyone avoids men.
It is simply something the "nice guys" need to understand, have patience with, and compensate for until those around us learn for themselves that we are in fact, "nice guys".
I'm not actually "nice", I am simply well contained and (somewhat) house-trained...
Well, the actual definition of fluffer is someone who performs oral sex on a male porn star to keep him erect for their film. So, you’re technically right when saying it’s about someone warming someone up for “the grand finale” buuuuut it shouldn’t be used here. Keep it in the porn industry. Don’t say fluffer. Unless you’re using Doggo Lingo which is ok. Fluffer in Doggo Lingo is just a cute name for a very fluffy dog. But we all know that’s not the meaning this thread was going for. Nobody here is a fluffer. Don’t use that word. Period.
I am simply well contained and (somewhat) house-trained
@CharlesThePoet I'll take it! 🤗
@CharlesThePoet “nice guys” or too nice may not necessarily be a good thing …. & by no means do I want to “menxplain” for the ladies … that would be a losing battle before it even started, & if any of the ladies happen to disagree than that’s a double loss before the convo even began lol, so I’ll accept my defeat before the starting even got started 😂
I'm comfortable having s*x with married chicks so why wouldn't I be comfortable cuddling them? If they want to that's their choice. Everyone is free to make their own choices, you don't know their relationship with their spouses, its 2021. Could be an open marriage, could be just a freedom to work and be honest with each other, cuddling isn't sex. Strippers can be married, why can't cuddles.
@CasualLover from reading the answers I see that there seems to be 2 different answers, one being (or the intended being) is if the partner or spouse is in the next room over , a lot of the answers seems to suggest that someone would have a problem if their cuddler is partnered up or married , now this is crazy … lol, & nahhh I would never knowingly try & hook up with a married woman nahhhhh (unless its Jennifer Lawrence)
Edit : I see that the title & description of the post are conflicting, title just asks if we’re comfortable cuddling ladies with spouses & bf’s & than the description tells of a cuddler having a spouse or bf in the next room over … so I see now why the differences in answers.
"Not directed at anyone, just made me chuckle "
I understand where you are coming from. As a man who is a member of this community and who also appreciates the ability to cuddle when I can, there is something I like to keep in mind when I post: Every word I write here has the potential to serve in the same way that karma does on this site. Because of this, I'm careful to present myself here in the same way that I do in person, showing my respect for fellow humans in general (and women in particular), and by my self-control.
For any men who are struggling to find cuddle partners, and who also post on this forum. Don't forget that the people you are contacting for cuddles may read the forum. They may make the reasonable assumption that the level of respect shown here will be reflected in any cuddle sessions.
@GracieGirl Thank you for your comment. I've been looking for a way to express what you are expressing.
To the respectful or even "house-trained" men on here, you have my respect and appreciation.
@JoyfulHeart Thank you, your comments are always so thoughtful.
I should also add that I have been lucky enough to have had many wonderful platonic cuddle sessions with men, so much appreciation for all the great cuddlers out there ❤️
I'm comfortable with it. I am curious why a non-pro with someone to cuddle feels the need to be here. I use this site when I don't have the option.
As a note: That so few professionals have Relationship Status as part of their profile tells me all I need to know, pragmatically.
I have never been in that situation. Always at a hotel. So, I can’t honestly say how I would feel about it without experiencing it. I suppose I would want to speak to the SO for safety reasons considering how some guys can misinterpret things so easily. I can usually read people well so that would reassure me. Beyond that, I do not really care as I don’t ask for that information and I only know a few pros that volunteered their relationship status.
Platonic cuddling is the basis and foundation of this site, it is part and parcel the fabric of the TOS and forum rules. This is not up for discussion or a difference of opinion. [-Sid]
@MrEC I'm asexual so it's obviously going to be harder for me to argue this without some bias, but if cuddling was so naturally lead in to sex that you're implying, then would this site even exist? From what I've noticed, the vast majority of people coming here expecting cuddles without other expectations tend to keep it that way. That's why so many recommend leaving if sessions turn uncomfortable. The cuddler I've been seeing cuddles lots of guy's & it's never sexual for her.
I'm not saying cuddling can't lead to or be an initiator of sexual activity, but for the majority who come to this site, sex is the last thing on their mind & continues to stay that way throughout their sessions. Keep in mind that's with the number of asexuals I've encountered on this site being in a surprising minority.
@MrEC
What you have shared here about your personal experience is useful information for anyone on this site that you might contact for a session.
As for my personal experience, the cuddling I've engaged in on this site has not led to sexual activity. (No, I'm not asexual) I believe that the majority of members on this site are successful in separating human affection from sex.
I'm not attaching a moral value to the inability to separate the two, but this site is designed to match up pairs of people who can.
Because of the OP's original and unfortunate phrasing, the cuddling-can't-be-platonic trolling, and the continued flags on this thread, it's a wrap, folks.