Cuddling Contract??

[Deleted User]tinam00n (deleted user)
edited November 2021 in General

Hi all!

I'm a brand new cuddler, just getting my feet wet and I'm somewhat nervous about my boundaries being respected and my safety. I do not plan to meet any clients in my own home or their home yet, only in public places or hotels. I do realize this will cut down on the business aspect of things, but I live by myself with no family or long time friends close by..... I haven't told anyone I know about joining the cuddling community because my family is religious and my coworkers are acquaintances at best. To make myself feel better I completed the Cuddle Sanctuary course, " Safety Tips for Pro Cuddlers". They offered a sample cuddling contract to give out to clients and this is the pdf. Does anyone have any safety tips and has anyone used this contract or given clients a contract to sign? I have the images below. How did they take it? Is it too much? I didn't think so at first.

  1. Have you ever used a contract before meeting with a client?62 votes
    1. Yes
      11.29%
    2. No
      88.71%
«1345

Comments

  • [Deleted User]cuddler8900 (deleted user)

    No way would I sign something like that to cuddle and share my driver's license with a stranger. Plus, many people don't like to share their full names.

    **"By signing this waiver, I agree to assume full responsibility for any injuries, both physical and mental, death, loss, or damage that I may sustain in the Activity"

    "I am aware that there are risks involved with my participation in the Activity that could result in injury to me requiring medical attention, death, or property damage"**

    WTF???????

  • cuddles_ndreamcuddles_ndream

    Experienced pros here will offer the best safety tips, but I think karmas are key / always let somebody know where you’re going to be & with who and the time you’re supposed to be done ect / & always listen to your inner voice. (be firm with your boundaries, & don’t apologize when you feel they’re breaking them, don’t feel you’re being rude by calling them out, just stand your ground & they’ll be embarrassed- if you’re ever in such a situation, hope that’s never the case) all the best 🌌

  • [Deleted User]tinam00n (deleted user)

    Ooh perhaps looking at the driving license at the first meeting is better instead of sending an actual picture?

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    First of all, just no. Second, h , e, double hockey sticks no. Anyone who pushed a “contract” under my nose would definitely be someone I am not cuddling…ever.

  • [Deleted User]tinam00n (deleted user)

    What do your professional cuddlers require from you?

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    A pic and some chat.

  • [Deleted User]cuddler8900 (deleted user)

    What does a driver's license prove?

    I think chemistry is the most important thing with cuddling. A video chat is the most important thing.

  • [Deleted User]tinam00n (deleted user)
    edited November 2021

    @cuddler8900 I think it's supposed to prove the person in the profile is who you're meeting or it's a way to research your client to look for crimes I'm guessing?

  • [Deleted User]cuddler8900 (deleted user)

    @tinam00n

    Wouldn't a video chat be easier?

    How do I know you're real? Will you be providing your driver's license as well?

  • [Deleted User]cuddler8900 (deleted user)

    @tinam00n You said "Ooh perhaps looking at the driving license at the first meeting is better instead of sending an actual picture?"

    You're going to research your client when they arrive?

  • [Deleted User]tinam00n (deleted user)
    edited November 2021

    @cuddler8900 of course it would be easier. I looked back on the site, it's a way to quite literally research your client online to look for red flags. And to your other question, no it doesn't make sense? You could only research if a client sent it beforehand.

  • [Deleted User]cuddler8900 (deleted user)

    @tinam00n But you said you were going to look at the driver's license at the first meeting.

    Nobody is going to send a stranger sensitive information with their home address and driver's license number.

  • [Deleted User]tinam00n (deleted user)

    @cuddler8900 I didn't say anything. This is a forum where I'm asking advice and getting responses about a contract that was sent to me after I completed a training. Settle down.

  • [Deleted User]cuddler8900 (deleted user)

    @tinam00n You didn't say anything? huh?? You said "Ooh perhaps looking at the driving license at the first meeting is better instead of sending an actual picture?"

    You asked for advice and I am giving you advice. Nobody is going to sign that contract and nobody is going to give a stranger their home address and driver's license number.

    @FunCartel echoed those same sentiments.

  • BrandiBrandi

    Some pros do require a photo of the persons ID. Especially if the professional is inviting them to their home where that client does know their address and name, asking the same information they know about them is completely reasonable and a safe thing to do. trust should be there if you’re going to be intimately cuddling anyone.

    She can have whatever protocol makes her feel safe and at ease with whom she is cuddling. If that person doesn’t feel comfortable with her protocol they can decline as that’s their choice, and she can decline the session to anyone not willing to follow her protocols.
    Every pro is different with their vetting process. To say nobody will send photo of their ID is completely incorrect and speaking on behalf of many clients, and every client has different boundaries as well.

    Goodluck girl and stay safe!!
    Message me if you need anything ❤️

  • [Deleted User]cuddler8900 (deleted user)

    Well I guess there are some people out there who are willing to send sensitive information to strangers online.

    What about the client's safety? If the client has to send a picture of their ID, then the pros should do the same thing.

  • relaxtoday221relaxtoday221

    @tinam00n I am a client and I am in your area. I have to tell you that you are going about this the wrong way. Even as a pro this cannot be a disconnected situation. You need to invest in chatting. Invest in video calls. And most of all make sure that you are doing this for the right reasons. Your energy will set the stage.
    Understand this will not keep you 100%safe. Nothing will. This is life experience. It comes with a certain amount of uncertainty.
    Use that Karma. Coordinate with other pros, they will let you know what’s up with someone.
    Have a great day and great cuddles!!!

  • BrandiBrandi
    edited November 2021

    To answer a few other things;
    You guys seriously need to understand the dangers and risks professionals put themselves in when meeting with people that they don’t know on a regular basis. While so many amazing people are on this website, there is also a good handful that ruins that for the rest.

    Serious harm or injury goes for aggressive people with ill intent. While cuddling itself isn’t dangerous, meeting someone you don’t know can be 💯 a scary thing and you never know someone’s intentions, and unfortunately their do be some crazy people out there.

    What does a drivers license do and why would one require that?
    Peace of mind and established trust.
    It’s very possible the person isn’t who they say they are. With a ID you know exactly who you are meeting, and could check it again in person upon arrival that they match their ID. (Clients can ask for an ID from a pro in return if that client requests) it’s all about personal comfort and trust and I agree should definitely go both ways. If you’re worried about identity theft, blocking out certain things on the ID and leaving the full name and photo should be plenty)

    However If their is sexual harassment or aggression to a severe extent, having their real name and not just a username could be very important in finding that person. (God forbid)
    But if you’re not doing anything wrong during a cuddle session, why wouldn’t you feel okay sending that?
    You show your ID anytime you go to a bar, any event/ a place where you need to be a certain age, or will be consuming alcohol. Or even purchasing alcohol you show your ID to any cashier which is a complete stranger. If you trust them, why wouldn’t you be okay showing your ID to someone you will be hiring to be physically cuddling and possibly in their home to make them feel safe?

    The comment about going based off karma/connection; unfortunately if there is undercover SWers here, those karmas towards clients can be completely inaccurate & they could be vouching for someone who is non platonic, thus putting platonic cuddlers at risk of harassment/assault. It’s very unfortunate, and usually I take karma with a grain of salt until I actually meet and experience the person for myself and I have met people with several good karmas, and the client turned out to be very inappropriate with me.

    Each pro should feel safe with who their meeting and whatever they need to do to feel that safety is valid and reasonable, even if it seems over the top for some with an outside perspective.

  • [Deleted User]tinam00n (deleted user)

    @relaxtoday221 thanks for the advice! And @Brandi you rock. I plan to keep the ID requirement and I do see how this contract might throw people off from a relaxed and laid back session once boundaries are agreed to on CC

  • [Deleted User]cuddler8900 (deleted user)
    edited November 2021

    @Brandi

    "You guys seriously need to understand the dangers and risks professionals put themselves in when meeting with people."

    What about the dangers and risks clients put themselves in?

    "With a ID you know exactly who you are meeting"

    What does it prove? An ID doesn't tell anything about the person, except for the sensitive information on the card.

    If their is sexual harassment to a severe extent, having their real name and not just a username could be very important in finding that person. (God forbid)

    I'm assuming you meant sexual assault and not sexual harassment? Sexual harassment isn't a crime.

    But if you’re not doing anything wrong during a cuddle session, why wouldn’t you feel okay sending that?

    Since you're not doing anything wrong, then I assume you would be willing to provide clients your ID so they can do a background check on you?

    I wouldn't feel ok because the client doesn't need to know where I live and they don't need to know my driver's license number.

    You show your ID anytime you go to a bar, any event/ a place where you need to be a certain age, or will be consuming alcohol. Or even purchasing alcohol you show your ID to any cashier which is a complete stranger. If you trust them, why wouldn’t you be okay showing your ID to someone you will be hiring to be physically cuddling and possibly in their home to make them feel safe?

    Yes, I am SHOWING my ID to prove my age. They aren't copying down my address and driver's license number.

  • BrandiBrandi

    @tinam00n wish you all the absolute best in your cuddle adventures!!!😍😍😍
    It’s really been a great experience for me so much of the time and have had a great journey with this community most of the time! 🤗 there’s a lot of amazing people here who really make offering this service worth it!
    Stay safe and feel free to reach out to any of us pros anytime!!
    So glad you joined the community! Always nice to see fresh faces! Huge hugs your way and stay safe! 🤗🖤🤗🖤🤗🖤

  • BrandiBrandi
    edited November 2021

    @cuddler8900 I’ve expressed in full detail why I felt each pro should have the choice in how their vetting is valid, and I stand by it. If it’s not for you it’s not and you’re not forced to do anything you’re Not comfortable with nor are you forced to see a pro that requires that. if you want to request seeing an ID in return, by all means, request it. I see nothing wrong with that if that makes you feel more safe. I said that each person in the party deserves to feel safe and if you think that will help you feel safe as well, go for it! I also mentioned blocking out any info you don’t want to share and that name and photo should be plenty as having a full name and their photo can be something to show police if god forbid something ✨ serious ✨ happens.
    I stand by that as well.
    Have a great night! & happy cuddling 🤗

  • [Deleted User]cuddler8900 (deleted user)
    edited November 2021

    @Brandi

    If you’re worried about identity theft, blocking out certain things on the ID and leaving the full name and photo should be plenty)

    I see that you edited your post as I was responding to you. How are you going to do a background check on a man named John Smith? It would be impossible to find the correct John Smith.

  • BrandiBrandi

    I’m not going to sit here and argue with you on my opinion vs yours. my comment was for OP to reassure her that her vetting process is valid, and to hopefully give a better idea of why some pros may require that and why it may make them feel safer. if you disagree you are entitled to your opinion.
    Best of wishes to you. :)

  • [Deleted User]cuddler8900 (deleted user)

    I would have no problem sharing my ID if just my name and picture were visible.

  • [Deleted User]cuddler8900 (deleted user)

    @Brandi

    I was just curious. I'm not arguing with you. How are you going to do a background check on a man named John Smith?

  • Ahmedali999Ahmedali999
    edited November 2021

    @tinam00n ☝️ Edit your post by adding voting and see the percentage % of clients are happy with your requirements, i think many wouldn't have to time to follow it .

    i only shared my driving license once because that's pro reliable,have certificate from an organisations where they provide trainings, otherwise I wouldn't .

    Virtual video, I used to be against it,in here I uesd to have debates with members,they make a point and i make a point and never ends, when I did it was fine because the pro made me feel comfortable it's like we know eachother it's good idea ☝️ but make it very comfortable

    As @cuddler8900 and @FunCartel
    I agree with them you will lose many clients .

    I have met 5 pros 3 didn't require anything 1 required ID other Virtual video.

    I think meet 3,4 different pros to have the clue and experience, your safety it's important but Clints want feel comfortable,some have already have many problems in thier life,anxiety,depression,mental health and want someone to cuddle them,makes them welcomed,comfortable,show them they aren't alone ect .

    If you have training or meeting different pros that's best thing to do.

    @cuddles_ndream i agree with you some what u said .and I disagree with you some ,about been firm which is important, if she doesn't it in a professional,comfortable way it's good. I did virtual video with a pro she made me very comfortable, been firm would make her lose clients but it's down to her. 🤗 she can do whatever she wants .

  • cuddlerforu24cuddlerforu24
    edited November 2021

    @tinam00n I Think you will be backed up into a corner to provide your privacy policy for review for the client to review , including your ID , then the client will want you to inform them of possible risks they are waiving . Now your ID is out there without a client . Next , time will be wasted with back and forth crossing out contract items , Still , armed with such a document you still have to practice reasonable measures to ensure a safe environment. And still what happenes when your dog bites the clients ankle. You will still be in court with the defense “ He signed my waiver!”

    Some most all pro cuddlers mitigate their risk with the amount of fee they charge.

  • [Deleted User]tinam00n (deleted user)

    I made a poll and I love the point you made @Ahmedali999 about clients being anxious, overwhelmed, etc and just needing to feel like someone's in their corner for a few hours. I think there's nerves on both sides before that first meeting or video call. I think both are good options tbh, whichever works better to break the ice.

  • Ahmedali999Ahmedali999
    edited November 2021

    @tinam00n ☝️ i tell you best advice juse meet 4,5 different pros,how they make their policies,than u have the answers,skills for everything. If it cost you money, u will double recover it 🤗

    Video call is much better, if you want meet me in person before a session I wouldn't do that,maybe some will.

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