Sent 3 messages to 3 different pros with no response after they logged in afterwards. Is that pretty normal?
I guess it would depend on a few things.
Did you fully read through their profile?
Did you provide a detailed message and, if no photo exists on your profile, attach one to the message?
Do you have a specific emergency/situation that requires more timely responses?
In addition to the above, are they active? There are many inactive profiles.
Definitely send a photo as @ernesto_2 said. That is for their safety. Did you give a brief two sentence blurb about yourself, ask her/him a question or did you just go right into “Cuddle. Tonight. I be there.”?
It was probably the lack of picture then. I don't feel comfortable just sending unsolicited pictures (even if its just my face) or having a profile picture due to my profession.
@Daedalus87 you can also state that in your message. It might help.
@Daedalus87 I understand the pic deal. Same reason I do not have it on my profile. But I do send it in in PMs because it does increase the number of replies.
BTW, an architect?
@Daedalus87 - How long has the time been (number of days) from when you sent the message to now?
I understand you’re asking about the Pros specifically, and whether it’s normal for the Pros, once they have logged in, to take their time messaging back or not.
In my experience this past year as a paying cuddle enthusiast, after I send a detailed message to a Pro, and even after the Pro has logged on (sometimes they’ve logged on a number of times), it still sometimes takes days, and often even weeks, before I hear back from that Pro.
Some Pros have told me that they only log in and check their account/messages once or twice a month, while others check their’s daily.
And other Pros never respond to me, even months later. To a degree, finding communication with your first Pro (at least at first) is a numbers game. It is what it is.
The short answer is yes, it is normal.
Improve your odds with the good advice above.
I usually try to answer by the next day at the latest, but sometimes I don't get the notifications and have to get them on one of my 3x a week checks. If someone is a serious inquiry I try to answer more quickly, just a "Hi" might take a little longer to answer if I log in to multiple messages since they get deprioritized. If I'm rejecting someone, I try to clearly express that I am and why. Most folks are fine with this and accept with grace.
SOMETIMES (this will even happen with my best friends) Since I have ADHD- I will get a message. Look at it quickly while I'm too busy to respond. Think "I'll get back to them in a little bit. And then forget! Luckily my best friends know what's going on, but I try to avoid that by checking this website a few times a week.
But for the most part it's very polite to make sure you respond to people and I hope they answer soon.
This is all good advice so far. Pictures and some general information definitely set the tone that someone is who they say they are and that you're serious about potentially meeting which inspires a response. I try to respond to everyone that messages, even if they're saying hi, but very rarely am I able to respond to all messages immediately, especially ones from people that require a more thorough response.
A lot of pros have lots of messages to sift through and it can take hours to sit down and respond to everyone immediately. I've found myself at my computer for four hours straight and a lot of the time with their schedules that's just not feasible. Sure it's easy to fire off some quick standard messages, but often times if I see someone's message that is one of substance I want to make sure I can take the time to respond thoughtfully and so I wait until I have that time. I may have logged on a handful of times, often from my phone to correspond about a particular session that's happening in the next 48 hours but not have had time to sit at my desk and respond to all messages. Also, most of us spend significantly more time scheduling and messaging than actual cuddling. If we've got a pending session with someone during a time someone else inquired about, we may be waiting to confirm that we even have the availability to cuddle with the other inquirer before reaching back out. A lot of times the waiting to respond is thoughtful on our part and not an attempt to ignore people for one reason or another. I regularly have a list of people in my head that I need to get back to when appropriate.
My point is it's not personal and you may very well hear back from them in the future. Being online is NOT a guarantee that someone has seen your message. There could have been two dozen more that came it after it and the pros are working their way through as they have time.
Good luck and I hope you are able to connect with some wonderful people soon!!! 🤗
@NicoSnuggs In my experience you are an excellent writer and definitely send very thoughtful and thorough messages.
I was excited to first receive a message but didn't have time to respond to everything you'd written when I first received it. I know I finally message back about 24 hours to say that I was sorry I couldn't appropriately respond at the moment but that I definitely wanted to connect with you as you and your message were so compelling. There are cases like that where someone may take longer because the pro is actually interested whereas answering a yes or no question from someone who is mildly interested in connecting might get a quick response but I'll never hear from them again.
Nothing is one size fits all so just don't get discouraged!
@NicoSnuggs i agree with you, there's a beautiful pro when i messaged her,she didn't answer for 3 days, I judged her too quickly, but she just been busy. Now we are best friends
@calmcontact said it best. It's normal, it's not personal, & don't get discouraged if you don't get a response. It's impossible to know what's going on the other side of the screen and there's any number of reasons for radio silence.
The only reason I'm able to keep up with messages at all is because I get alerts on my phone for my emails. By then I either enter the site through the email or make a mental note to log in later after I've seen the email pop up. However that's the only notification the site offers due to not being an app. Many miss messages because of this. Even when you @ someone on threads like these(like I just did with calmcontact), there's even less of a chance there because it has a very quick blink & you'll miss it pop up that only shows up if you're online browsing the forums. There's no way to recieve that off site currently.
Other things to factor in are personal lives and work life balances. I wanna say I've messaged about almost 10 pro's on here maybe??? I've heard back from a majority but I've only cuddled with one person on this site so far. That person usually responds to me within a day. I've had a few, like her, whom are pretty quick about responding. Some have responded a week later and one of them turned out to have serious health problems I wasn't aware of & deactivated after explaining that. Another pro recently responded after nearly a month & apologized for missing my message. There isn't a single one of them I feel hurt by. A few have explained their situations & have earned my sympathies, others haven't explained at all & don't owe me an explanation. We all got our own crap outside of these forums & messages are just one of those things that can easily fall through the cracks.
One thing I can promise you is that patience & empathy will go a long way with any pro you talk to on here. Like a few have mentioned, pictures help but don't let that pressure you into doing any face reveals if that's uncomfortable for you or let it discourage you. I'm confident you'll find someone to cuddle with, even if it takes some time at first. 🙂
Depends on your area. In my experience, yes. I've been on for awhile and have met with two enthusiasts, 3 pros and 4 virtual (during the height of covid last year). I would say my best and most consistent sessions were the virtual ones. Ironic, since the purpose of this site is comfort through touch. Maybe I just had some good ones to have a session with. I did forget about one virtual cuddler I had. We chatted and had a good time...but turns out she was trying to recruit me into some help group where you paid $595.00.
The three pros I encountered were good, but there must have been at least a dozen that gave me the run around or worse. I even had one that was supposed to be on her way to meet me and deleted her profile enroute. I can understand changing your mind, but at least have the decency to let your client know. I would say at least 90-95 percent of the pros I've seen online are anything but professional. Unserious and disingenuous.
Probably the worse are the ones that are just enthusiasts. Many come on the cuddle site without the real intention to cuddle. I have communicated with them, been a friendly ear to listen to their problems and give them support. Turns out most seem to come with a lot of emotional baggage. I have tried to be patient, kind and supportive, but are not here to actually cuddle or eventually give you any support in return.
I know I sound negative and bitter...probably because I am. I've just been casually tossed aside by another member that I tried to give support and friendship to after she told me about the terrible thing in her life that has severely affected her. I hope you find someone that you can just have a decent session with...I've pretty much given up hope.
For instance, I wouldn't be thrilled about responding to someone who doesn't have whether or not they smoke, single or not, etc., listed on their profile. Especially since I have on my profile certain criterias I look for. And that all I practically get is a "hey", with no reassurance as to whether or not they fit my criteria. I visit their profile and it's more or less a desert. Then I get guys messaging me at times whose profile is filled out. Though they smoke or are in a relationship and which my profile says I prefer the opposite.
So the less your facts' section is filled out coupled with no picture, no description, and possibly messaging others who have a photo * when you don't *, the less likelihood of getting a response. Also they may just be busy For a bit. Or not ready to start from 0 with someone new, especially if they've been having bad experiences. Patience and filling your profile out as much as possible can help.
@Shake49 "Many miss messages because of this. Even when you @ someone on threads like these(like I just did with calmcontact), there's even less of a chance there because it has a very quick blink & you'll miss it pop up that only shows up if you're online browsing the forums. There's no way to recieve that off site currently."
Actually...
Go into your Settings...
Then...
~
Next, scroll down nearly to the bottom and...
Then pick the way you'd like to be notified (or not) for all the things...
Last, but not least, be sure to...
@tjalex ~ Hey... I resemble that remark!!
Serious communication flake and enthusiast over here! I'm gonna lean into my ADHD coupled with brain damage, too many stressors and a general lack of mindfulness at times because I often forget I haven't replied to people. I have a tendency to think my responses so clearly, I feel as if I've written, only to find later I either didn't get beyond starting a reply before my attention was diverted, or I didn't even get past the thought stage (which to be honest often comes with a few, "Oh dang, I need to write to ___ _____!" before it some how morphs into, "Dang, I wrote to ___, but haven't heard back..."). 🤦♀️
Believe me, it's just as annoying to me as to those I flake on I'm sure. Luckily, most figure out to nudge me with a, "WTF?" or a, "Just checking in/Haven't heard from you in a while..." type of messages... Both tend to be fairly effective ~ Silence though... not so much. 🤷♀️
As many have said, it can happen, just keep at it. People have very busy lives and many messages to go through. Try to give them the benefit of the doubt.
@quixotic_life I know how you feel with thinking you responded to someone...I tend to have many many conversations in my head before talking to someone, that I can forget that the conversation never actually happened. Much better reason why I like forums and text vs phone/verbal... Nice to have that reminder/proof to fall back on.
I also contacted three pros. One had two karmas, the other had one karma. Both of their karmas were months old. A third had no karmas despite being a member for months. I sent all three messages with a follow-up a month later when I didn’t hear back and they never responded. The member with no karmas eventually deleted her account. All three had been members for almost a year and had been signing onto this site within a day or two of me corresponding with them despite their months-long karmas, so it’s not like they haven’t checked this site in months. I get that maybe a pic would have gotten a response from them except I don’t feel comfortable sending my pic to total strangers also with many people not enlightened with sites like this that promote cuddling. The second reason is the fear they will not respond BECAUSE of my pic, which would be very hurtful and demoralizing. By the way, I’m not corresponding with them anymore, I’ve taken the hint. As far as I know, none of the three bothered to check my profile.
@OrangeCountyCA sorry to hear your tale, but there is no hint. 0/3 is not meaningful information, it's well within statistical expectation based on what actually happens on this site. It's more than possible than none of your messages were even read.
If you really don't want to send a photo with the first message, say that you are happy to send one once a meeting has been provisionally agreed.
When I started hiring professionals on this site, I wrote to 12. Only four of these resulted in a session within six weeks or so, plus another one many months later. A couple of others replied then the conversation petered out. In other words, I only ever got replies from about half, on a much larger sample than you. And that's in London, where for various reasons the response rate is higher than the US as a whole.
To put it another way, if you contact three semi-random professionals you can only expect about one reply anyway .... and that's assuming you provide a photo. For background on why the response rate is so low, look my big post at the start of September 20:
https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/forum/discussion/10740/some-thoughts-on-the-different-types-of-professional-cuddler/p2
Since a lot of people are making it sound like booking with pros is a long and uncertain process... If you have a picture, a good bio, and karma (and maybe depending on your geographical area and whether you are selecting good pros to message), the process of booking a cuddle session is not that much different than booking a massage or some other kind of appointment. Obviously providers have to feel safe and comfortable and be careful, given that they are going to be welcoming a stranger into their arms. They are entitled to whatever data they need, and to decline a client for any reason. That said, it's a business, and they want clients. The cuddle professionals I know are not drowning in cuddle work. They have other jobs, which are probably less fun and satisfying than a good cuddle session, and they do maybe a few cuddle appointments a week. A new client is a big deal.
I was craving a cuddle yesterday morning, messaged two pros I hadn't contacted before, both replied, and I had a great cuddle last night. IME providers usually answer within a day. If pros are not answering you, fill out your profile more. The whole point of professional cuddling is so people who can't find a cuddle buddy can still get cuddled. There is a bar for being a good potential client, but it is not supposed to be so high that it feels like dating. It is a paid service.
Thank you, @frankparker9 , for sharing your understanding of professionals and how to successfully book them!
@OrangeCountyCA Take a flattering picture of yourself, where you look well put together and like a normal person... that should be enough lol
I would also put yourself in their shoes. They probably don't really trust you either... and if it is a woman you are messaging, they have more to be worried about than you. So, if you truly want to earn their trust, it will require you to trust them a little bit as well.
Also, if you're paranoid/worried, then maybe see if there is a better outlet for your stress management? It's okay if cuddling people you meet from a website isn't for you - I'd say it's probably not for most people, so what you're feeling is perfectly normal!
Usually pros don't care about profile,pictures ect . my first pro never check my profile at all and responded quickly. when I first booked my first session. There's 1 enthusiast she always ignore me when she become pro started viewing me couple of times and interested i just ignored her what about before?
@Ahmedali999 how do you know that usually pros don’t care about your profile and pictures?
@nurturingman it's true how do I know? Not all some don't care like my first pro . When I booked with her she never checked my profile except after the session, when I asked her she said she doesn't judge.
@Ahmedali999 it’s not that pros want to see a photo because they are judging people on their looks; it’s that pros want to see who the person is for safety reasons. Some will ask for a photo if there is none in the profile. I’ve never heard of a pro who will cuddle with someone they’ve never seen (except for a blind pro, who has his own methods).
@nurturingman i swear it happened to me. But anyway there are many clients/members don't have a photo.
I'm going to link a great post from @xandriarain. She touched on photos in a generally good list of things to know when seeking out a cuddling session with a pro and many pros chimed in to back her up.
https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/forum/discussion/9505/ten-things-your-professional-cuddler-wants-you-to-know#latest
@Ahmedali999 I believe your experience and am sure others have had similar ones. I'm curious if there was a picture on your profile at the time that showed up when you messaged even if the pro didn't look directly at it? Either way, I do know some pros don't always get or request pictures. As in any industry there will be people who vary from the norm, but I do believe that having access to a client photo is a pretty well established industry standard for safety reasons. It has nothing to do with judging whether the photo is flattering or not. A picture is a very minimal request to make sure we know who we are talking to and can confirm when we meet in person so that our safety contacts have something to go off of should anything happen. If you don't pull anything weird, no one else is ever going to see that photo.
Our pictures are out there and I'm sure that no one would be reaching out to me for a session if they couldn't see me. I'm not sure what most people are afraid a pro is going to do with their photo, but I promise that if you're talking to a real professional, they have exactly zero interest and probably no extra time to find something weird to do with it.
@frankparker9 Makes some good points. If you are easy to engage with, provide a photo and are clear in your intent on booking a session, it's not hard to book with a regular professional. The same probably can't be said for an occasional professional who takes one or two sessions every few weeks or months. Look for someone who is clearly doing this often and they should work with you.
Lastly, I have to say that I really think pros usually care about a photo if you want to meet and cuddle and they don't want to have to beg for a photo either. Lots of people provide them and I do believe those people tend to get answered first, especially if the pro is receiving lots of messages and has to discern who to try to book with first. There is a ton of content on the subject of photos in the pros only forum and the well established professionals all urge newer pros to always get photos. It's not just for the safety of one of us, it's for the safety of all of us that anyone we meet can be held accountable and we can warn others if someone puts us in danger.
@calmcontact well said @nurturingman i learned something from him, i want to upload a video link in CC about introducing myself. I think a video link best way to read the person