Annoying clients when session ends

Ahmedali999Ahmedali999
edited December 2021 in Pro Cuddling

Do you pros experience annoying Clints, example when the session finish they don't want to go, they want stay more, like add another 1/2 hour or 1 hour 🥰 but you can't blame them ,they love cuddle

Seems more appropriate for the Professional Cuddling forum so am moving it there. - Babichev

Comments

  • MissMaxPDXMissMaxPDX

    Yes. It does happen. ☺️

  • [Deleted User]Khrysler (deleted user)

    I hope pros dont feel annoyed when that happens, sometimes i do enjoy their company and it’d hurt to know that i annoyed them

  • Ahmedali999Ahmedali999

    @MissMaxPDX cuddle beautiful,peaceful world

  • Ahmedali999Ahmedali999

    @Khrysler if they ready it's fine, but sometimes it's annoying when they are busy or hungry or have something to do ect . And you don't want session to finish

  • Nature_Lover_Nature_Lover_

    I have had some amazing sessions and clients and more than once over stayed a session when I don’t have to be somewhere directly following. I’ve never felt annoyed by someone not abruptly leaving, in fact it’s a huge compliment to know they also don’t want the session to end.

  • Ahmedali999Ahmedali999
    edited December 2021

    @Nature_Lover_ u amazing person but it's annoying if u have something to do and the Clint want stay more 5 minutes 10 minutes add extra 🤣 as a Client I'm annoying client which I cant help it, in the last minutes cuddles is more beautiful and don't want it to end🙈

  • [Deleted User]simsaddict (deleted user)

    I’ve never had that happen. I’ve accidentally stayed over the session almost everytime. I just lose track of time 😇😇

  • Nature_Lover_Nature_Lover_

    @Ahmedali999 thank you! I am sure there are clients bashing @simsaddict and I for lingering when they have things to do 🤣🤣

    I did once have an out of this world session ( both convo and cuddles were next level ) in Austin in which I casually mentioned that I do sometimes stretch a session for free when my schedule permits. Just left that out there in case he might be open for a bit of run over during our session but as it turned out he abruptly had to leave for an appointment following our session.

    When clients are respectful I am always inclined to run over a bit when ever mutually desired and possible.

  • MelancholyMelancholy

    Just learn to read body language.
    If you're at the end of the session sometimes it may go over a bit if you're in the middle of something like a story or rubbing someone's back.
    I gave a pro cuddler a foot massage and she didn't want the session to end on time.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod
    edited December 2021

    The clients who do not leave are not annoying. To describe them as such - while perfectly fair in an everyday sense - is an over-simplification of an extremely complex and difficult situation.

    As a starting point:

    Session-ending dynamics call upon the therapist to prioritize empathy, validation, and support for the patient suffering from early deprivation; identify and heal narcissistic injury in the patient wishing to be special; judiciously alter the frame when doing so will benefit the patient and not constitute a boundary violation; avoid re-traumatization; admit mistakes; confront blatant denial; advance agency; address uncomfortable topics; set appropriate limits; and deal authentically with uncomfortable countertransference. Numerous clinical examples serve to illustrate these clinical phenomena.

    Gans, J., 2016. “Our Time is Up”: A Relational Perspective on the Ending of a Single Psychotherapy Session. American Journal of Psychotherapy, [online] 70(4), pp.413-427. Available at: https://psychotherapy.psychiatryonline.org/doi/full/10.1176/appi.psychotherapy.2016.70.4.413 [Accessed 2 December 2021].

    This is from the world of psychotherapy but all of the above applies to a cuddle session. If you are interested, that article contains a number of references.

    It's a big topic - people write on books on this stuff - but the summary is that it is surprisingly important (i.e. essential) for the session to start and end precisely on time.

    @Nature_Lover_ @simsaddict I greatly appreciate your intent and your caring nature. However, please be very careful. If you're going to run a session long (and boy do I understand why you'd want to! :) ) best practice would be to discuss it explicitly with the client, explain why, define the terms of the extension, and set a new end-point and stick to it.

    One of the risks is over-attachment by the client. This can very difficult to deal with and harmful to the client.

  • BabichevBabichev

    @CuddleDuncan , thanks for that very thoughtful comment.

    I had no idea that there are books written on how to end a session. I’m going to pass that on in one of my massage therapy forums. This is something we sometimes have problems with in MT - clients who do not want to leave. One needs to be diplomatic in handling it.

    I would also agree with the caution about extending sessions. It may seem like a kind and harmless thing to do but it can create a messy situation by blurring boundaries. In my massage therapy practice, there were times when I chose to extend a session for specific reasons. In every case, I had a brief conversation with the client about it if for no other reason than to make sure I wasn’t going to inconvenience the client and make them late. But besides that, I wanted to maintain clarity about boundaries so the client wasn’t left feeling confused about them.

    When we interact with others as a professional we take on responsibilities that are beyond those of the enthusiast. It’s up to us as professionals to maintain professional boundaries, which includes starting and ending at agreed upon times. When we get sloppy about them it can create confusion for the client and that’s not good for client or therapist.

  • cuddlerforu24cuddlerforu24

    @Ahmedali999 ... why would the proposal to extend a session be annoying ? The additional time , charged by the per hour fee is all profit . There’s no prep time , messaging , or travel .

  • Sheena123Sheena123

    Yea, extra money and the flattering compliment of being that good of a cuddler, they want more time is awesome. It’s a great feeling 😊

    Now, it would be annoying if they say “I want you to stay longer but I don’t want to pay you”, that just means they don’t respect your job.

  • Ahmedali999Ahmedali999

    @CuddleDuncan amazing books on how to end session.

  • Ahmedali999Ahmedali999

    @cuddlerforu24 it's not annoying on every pro but for some yes . Sometimes they could be busy or have something to do. If they have spare time is fine , it's like disturbinh the peace. They have to prepare for next session or want to rest ect .
    They are some pros very nice and it's difficult for them to end session easily.

  • ubergigglefritzubergigglefritz

    My current structure is to not stack sessions. I'm able to wholly focus on the client and not be preoccupied with "what's next". In addition, it allows some wiggle room (I don't start the clock until we actually start cuddling) as well as permit the ability for extensions if requested (common for first sessions). Rarely do I have another responsibility shortly after, but if I do, I communicate that beforehand. We also always will communicate in that transition from the end of the initial session plan to that possible extension. 👍

  • xandriarainxandriarain

    I generally ask that clients be upfront about the possibility of extending so I can be prepared for it. Sometimes I have something else I need to do after, sometimes I am hungry or tired and it is just so much easier if I know ahead of time if I may be staying an extra hour. For example, if a client booked a two-hour session but warned me they may want the third hour I would put them in my calendar for three hours so I can mentally prepare myself and plan the rest of my day properly. That way if the client extends I am happy because I made a little more money than planned and if they don't extend I am happy because I got a little more free time to do other things. If I have two sessions in a day I space incalls out by at least an hour and outcalls are spaced ut by a minimum of two hours. This gives me time to mentally recharge, change the sheets, freshen up, eat something, allow for lateness/ traffic, etc. But I need that time for myself between sessions and can't give that to a client who wishes to extend if there is only an hour or two between sessions.

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