Wanted opinion on this? If your intentions are clean?
If you're hiding it I would consider it cheating. What is right or wrong is not for me to decide though.
Talking about it would be my go to.
For some people cheating would require physical intimacy / for other people emotional intimacy is enough / and for the rest, they either don’t mind or do mind, but they want communication about it first , not for the other person to do, or try to do it secretly or behind their back.
Does your spouse know and approve? Answer that and you’ll have your answer.
I define "Cheating" as any attempt, or act, which violates the trust between partners. Whether anyone else has an issue with your behavior is irrelevant, in my personal opinion.
So... if you're in a relationship, and your partner would feel that you violated the relationship by cuddling here, then yes, I'd say it's cheating. But again, that's between you and whomever you're in a relationship with. And the "cleanliness" of your intentions would probably be demonstrated by whether or not your partner is aware of, and approves of, your participation in cuddling here.
Hope this helps.
If you have made an agreement to not cuddle others then you are violating that. My boyfriend doesn't care if I cuddle, he knows that's my work. I cuddle with friends too actually, I would never even consider asking his permission... he doesn't have ownership over my body. If I agreed to not do certain things to keep a partner happy, then that's an agreement I would honor.
If you haven't talked about it with them.. do it. I get this stuff all out in the open before I even connect romantically with someone.
Jealousy is normal in this culture, but not an excuse to take away someone's bodily autonomy.
@ernesto_2 💯
We had a thread about this not long ago, for those who are interested:
The short answer is no, it is not cheating per se. There are many happy - even heartwarming - cuddling stories of people who are married or in long term relationships.
Many cuddle professionals are married or seriously attached, it's very common.
It's a complex question but I think @ernesto_2 has pretty much nailed it.
It depends on what is your agreement with your partner. Some might consider it cheating, some might not. Ask your partner how they view it. And ask yourself how you would view it if your parter were doing it?
What crossed my mind, actually, is do you need cuddling because you are not getting it in your relationship? And if your partner is not giving you something you need (and probably does not need it themselves), is it a healthy relationship? People love others the way they need to be loved.
Cheating is if you go behind your partner's back or hide it from your cuddle partner. The latter in this context may not exactly be cheating, though it's certainly a big load of dishonesty.
@WriterGF People love others the way they need to be loved.
A whole lot of truth to that right there. I've found I'm a whole lot better speaking my love languages with my friends and those I've met here then any relationship I've had.
act dishonestly or unfairly in order to gain an advantage, is the google definition. This can apply to games, tests, relationships emotionally, or physically. I don’t judge anyone’s scenarios and keep things 100% unbiased due to being professional, and let everyone decide what is best for them.
however I have been cheated on, and it’s caused a lot of trauma and don’t wish that for anyone, life is hard enough & Honesty is very important to me in my relationship(s). I am currently polyamorous and don’t feel there is any need for dishonesty when the option to seek outside the relationship is available with full support. I also have very supportive partner(s) who fully encourage me cuddling as a profession and love that I can be there for others who need it ♥️♥️
I cuddle others and my husband is good with it. I talk to him and he knows when I have a cuddle session. For me, it’s about open communication. If you are doing something behind your partner’s back - that is cheating.
I ended up falling in love with the first and only woman I cuddled with, and unfortunately for her, she did as well. She lost clients because of that, and it wasn’t because I didn’t want her to continue, she couldn’t on her own conscience do so. I feel bad about that but she’s an amazing woman.
Wow @CobaltRacer55 racer sooo many questions , may I ask? & if not its ok privacy respected.
What do you want to know?
Did you guys meet here / did you guys ended up dating & did she stopped being pro for the relationship / & also, if you guys are still together but you only cuddle with her, what continues you here (you don’t have to answer any)
Initially met here. Just kind of morphed into meeting for lunch 2-3 times a week, then overnights whenever I stayed downtown. Yea, I only cuddled with her.
Just a chemistry thing I believe. She’s a bit younger but an incredibly wonderful and intelligent lady.
@CobaltRacer55 nice! & thanks for answering
@KYtranspant And it speaks to one of the major reasons relationships can fail -- if you are giving your partner A and B, and not getting it back, then the odds are they don't need it from you and will never be able to give it back. It's a recipe for frustration and disappointment. (The other real killer, I find, is whittling off parts of yourself to "fit" with the other person, until one day you wake up and there is little of "you" left)
So many people today are too busy for their spouse. Smartphones, kids or other activities can overwhelm any relationship. Sometimes even with effort, these problems never get resolved. If any married person wanted to cuddle with me I'd do it in a heartbeat. Maybe that person simply needs what their partner refuses to give: time, touch, affection, feeling wanted.
Your question assumes the default societal norm- that the marriage is monogamous. There are many MANY ethically non-monogamous marriages out there with all types of agreements. Agreements between two people can be broken by one or the other. And this is what we call ‘cheating’. I am not a fan of that term personally because it puts all the ‘blame’ on one person. Cheating doesn’t happen in a vacuum. There are lots of things that may happen that lead up to it. I have seen people (men and women) stay in sex-less and intimacy-barren marriages for YEARS. Sometimes people do what they need to do to stay in the marriage and stay sane. I think it’s sad but we are such a sex negative culture that many couples don’t talk about intimacy (I don’t mean just sex either). Or the need for intimacy and closeness is seen as being weak.
I read posts like this and wonder why this keeps coming up on a site that is intended for platonic cuddling.
As long as that is your intent then I don’t see anything inappropriate about it. If you’re in a serious relationship then you need to communicate with your partner and make sure they are comfortable, just like before making a major purchase that involves a lot of money or taking a trip with friends to someplace like Vegas.
If you immediately assume that someone who is in a relationship but it looking for platonic cuddles has bad intentions, then I think you need to start by looking in the mirror and seeing what it is within yourself and your own intents that makes you assume that.
Sorry if this sounds a little like a soapbox rant, but the whole reason most of us are touch deprived is because we live in a society that has insisted we assume physical touch can only be a precursor to a sexual relationship. The whole point is the rethink that premise and hopefully eventually become a less touch deprived society.
I've never been in a relationship where I've been required to ask if I could hug my friends, and I never would.
☝🏿☝🏻☝🏽☝🏼☝🏾
I'm sure has been discussed, but it's about communication. Some can classify "just talking to someone else" as cheating. So it doesn't matter what others think is cheating, what matters is what your partner(s) thinks is cheating. Communicate with them.
Yes, the intent is platonic cuddling but it’s also a form of intimacy and if the chemistry is there, sometimes things happen. Life happens but those things are the exception, rather than the rule.
I think cuddling and the shared intimacy or bond it creates can lead to lifelong friendships or even more down the road. I think we need to be realistic here.
I say be as open with your partner as you can. I would be a bit disappointed if I found out the person I was in relationship with/married to or dating was on the site. This is just my opinion. I’m open with my partner and grateful he understands. I even told him to get on the site.
Well said @Mela_B 🤗