I absolutely love all the variation in the comments. I wish they had a "LIKE" button because I know I'd be hitting it often. I literally LOL and also found some comments very insightful. Thank you all for sharing.
@PositiveNRG4U lol I feel the same plenty of times.
The thing with politics it's become very polarizing these days. We've become married to ideas, opinions and let's be real, the outside influence of narrative is much more of a factor than critical thinking. Personally, I've decided to detach myself of ALL ideologies and engagement with people subscribed to them. I just don't trust someone that chooses sides.
I have discussed religion with my pros, because of just learning new cultures and share similarities or knowledge.
If they want to talk Politics I engage and give them an ear. And opinion if applicable.
What's wild to me is how people are ok with just responding with lies; telling the person anything they want to hear...
It's too easy to be honest 🙂
"The truth Shall set You free"
Try this approach next time it happens:
"I avoid watching most news channels. I hate to sound like I'm disconnected from current events, but [topic of discussion] is something I've never quite understood." Then ask an open ended "what/why/how" question: "why do people believe that idea?" or something similar. Then just listen.
I never go there !!!!!! If I have to tell them , I will !!. I had one tell me that they hated Jews , I changed the subject very quick. Didn’t really take it personally until about a year later I did a DNA test and found a have a little bit of Jew and American Indian, I think Black Foot . Very I interesting to find out about your past roots.
Politics is polarizing because we DON'T talk about it. So while I welcome political discourse, I'm very careful that it be respectful and intelligent in dialogue. And I've found it pretty easy (and not time-consuming) to realize if the other person is ignorant, ill-informed, or simply follows a different set of values.
Folks that refuse to talk about politics generally don't want to be flexible in their own views, and those who want to talk about it too much are likely trying to push their own views. But if you're willing to make the effort, I find political talk can be very enlightening and bonding, even when the views themselves are divergent.
3 things either discuss it or you don't or your not I to politics 🤦♂️
If someone comes to cuddle and brings up politics I'd say I don't follow politics and shift the convo elsdewhere
@ernesto_2
"Folks that refuse to talk about politics generally don't want to be flexible in their own views,"
Disagree. You're assuming people put effort into following this theater. I don't. I refuse to talk about politics because it's an ideology. Personally, I think, I think politics is starting to make people identify themselves with a side and closing minds and robbing the human experience from them. It's literally a human construct that is built literally on lies, influence and side deals. Take Edward Snowden for example- he literally exposed the government was violating our constitutional rights (as Americans) and it was flipped that he's a traitor betarying loyalty to the government when the government was betraying citizens. There are so many other topics to have discourse that actually mean something.
How much more polarizing can you get than when people are arguing what it means to not discuss politics! @carino had it right—discuss it or not, but don’t pretend you know what someone else is thinking.
@FunCartel
The polarizing I was refering to is the toxcitity that identity is defined by a political side these days. I see your point, though.
Personally, I agree with whatever the girl says.
I've learned not to call women girls. 😉 I've also learned as a pro to cuddle adults of all genders.
Even if I am completely against her political positions, she has paid me to be there to support her, and in my mind that means in every aspect of conversation too. What do you do?
In my mind, paying me to be supportive does not mean paying me to agree with everything they say. I can support them without agreeing with them; that is, I can be empathic without being sympathetic. What I do is get them to get in touch with their bodies and bring it back to cuddling, or at least body-mind wellness. If their need to talk through something is beyond my scope, I recommend psychotherapy.
What do you do if your partner discusses politics?
If I'm in a professional relationship with someone, I steer the conversation away from politics. Even if I agree with them, I'll say something like, "I know what you mean, but let's not get into politics."
Just say no. If she starts spouting untruths and conspiracy theories, run.
@Saysoh without turning this into an argument, but all inter-personal matters are politics. Which, I think, makes it important to discuss. The specific, U.S. politics you're talking about is just one example. But not talking about the problems don't make them go away. But I get your point that it can be an uncomfortable or fruitless endeavor.
@GreatHornedOwl this means you are a normal human being.
I think most guys will do the same as when we see a software agreement online: after reading (or listening), we just have to hit "accept" to move forward.
When we’re in a professional relationship with the other person we have a different set of responsibilities than we do in a social situation. If I were a pro cuddler, I’d probably operate under the same guidelines that I do as a massage therapist: listen but don’t participate. If the conversation appears to make the client tense rather than to relax, point that out to them and ask them if that’s what they want?
I think it would be inappropriate for a pro to bring up politics in a pro cuddling situation.
I used to have a client who would come for massage, start talking about politics, and get himself all riled up. I just listened. I neither agreed nor disagreed. It was his massage, he got to have it how he liked and if he wanted to vent about things in the news that upset him, that was his prerogative. Eventually I pointed out to him that he got tense when he started talking about politics and he realized he was kind of sabotaging his massage. After that, when he started getting himself riled up, I’d just ask him, “Do you really want to talk about this right now?” He’d recognize he was making himself tense and would then turn his attention to something more pleasant.
I agree that we need to be willing to have the hard conversations but we can also choose where, when, and with whom to have them.
"but all inter-personal matters are politics."
Honestly, this makes zero sense.
@saysoh Sounds like he might be drawing a correlation to the feminist movement of the late 60s when feminist writers adopted the phrase “the personal is political” because so much about their bodies—the pill, abortion rights, attire—was being fought for in this country.
I completely despise Donald Trump. Just gotta say. When he was President I couldn’t deal with how obviously corrupt he was and how cowardly the rest of the Republicans were to submit to his bullying. But now that’s he’s gone I’ve had time to reflect a bit and look at the other side and I see how ridiculous they are as well. The truth is that people don’t think logically and they form very uniformed opinions that mostly make them feel that they are part of some community. And that’s better than feeling alone. They do everything they can to not challenge their beliefs and not accept that the other side has anything of value to offer. That’s what politics really is. Politics is a quagmire for the intelligent mind. The media and social media thrive on this weakness of humanity. The solution is to turn off cable news. Turn off the political feeds on social media. Treat people as individuals and give them the benefit of the doubt. Don’t expect to agree with everyone. These days I enjoy talking to people of diverse opinions. You’ll find that if you really talk to people that they all have something of value to say and something to teach you, some different way of looking at things that expands your intellect. There is nothing good about politics. Nothing worth saving. Just turn it off like I did. You’ll be glad you did. (Just my opinion).
@Saysoh how do you define politics? All interactions between people are a form of politics, whether social, economical, etc.
Don't conflate talking about politics with talking specifically about the U.S. government. Talking about social policies (at any governmental level), cultural norms, individual versus collective responsibilities, etc are all ways in which we apply politics to our daily lives.
Or, in other words, all interpersonal matters (i.e. anything involving 2 or more people) exist within and/or create a political environment.
In our culture everything about politics
It's not how I define politics, but how politics is actually defined:
https://www.dictionary.com/browse/politics
I think you're confusing interactions and/or discourse while redefining politics to fit your narrative (whatever that is).
@Saysoh go to, and beyond, the literal definition, because if you stop at "about government" you miss the entire premise behind what a government is.
Again, without being too argumentative (or pedantic, or even overly meta) the point I'm making is that arguing about the U.S. Government isn't all that political discussion can be. Sure, you can talk about the U.S. policies and/or actions, but that's generally a moral argument about a specific government than it is a political discussion.
Talking about politics generally takes form after you actually understand the other person's personal philosophy (especially their moral stance) and how that informs their political opinions. So when I'm talking about "talking about politics", I'm talking specifically about the process with which individual and collective beliefs and identity take place within the political scheme, rather than specific (or even abstract) actions by a specific body of government.
if i agree with their view i talk about it! It can be a connecting conversation. If I dont agree I tell them i know nothing and let them explain things if they want. Men i cuddle with tend to enjoy mentoring so its actually enlightening to hear different perspectives!!
Plus im hired to be there so im not going to disagree. I'll listen to their opinions 😌
Okay. I'm going to bite and stop using, "without being too argumentative." Believe it or not, there are people in this world that love conversation. I have my headphones on, so I'm going in.
I honestly am not tracking your use of, "politics," when it's clearly defined, but you keep using, "U.S. Governement politics," when it's actually definied in a wordly context. You're confusing me.
"So when I'm talking about "talking about politics", I'm talking specifically about the process with which individual and collective beliefs and identity take place within the political scheme, rather than specific (or even abstract) actions by a specific body of government."
I feel like you may be touching base on political ideology or identity politics?
"Talking about politics generally takes form after you actually understand the other person's personal philosophy (especially their moral stance) and how that informs their political opinions."
Again, you're assuming everyone pays attention to politics and they sway their morals based on a construct. I'm telling you, there are people out there, like myself, that give zero f*cks about politics. I honestly don't understand why so much value is placed in this theater (sorry for using the analogy twice), but it's heart breaking. I'll even take it a step further here, but I'm going to compare it to religion and an idea that both ideologies were created out of fear of death and not belonging to something.
We're all humans. We're very complex, but there's so much outside influence, we (generally) subsribe to these ideas that's polarizing and we're losing sense of community as a whole. "Politics," should never be a way a person defines themselves because that's linear; you're right, you're left, you're a libtard, you're a racist, so forth.
When people talk to me about politics, I remind them they're human and their experience isn't defined by anyone, but that's just me which is how I ended up on this site in the first place- to explore experience.
To some people politics and political agitation is their religion. It's what gives their life purpose and meaning. And like certain religious zealots these political zealots relentlessly push their agenda on others and are deluded into thinking they have all the answers and expect everyone to adhere to their "enlightened" belief systems.