Hi, I am looking forward to my first cuddle appointment. As a male, I was wondering if etiquette calls for bringing a small gift? (She is hosting.) A rose? A box of chocolate? A coffee? Your guidance appreciated!
I would suggest you err on the side of caution and bring nothing. You wouldn't bring a rose or a box of chocolates to your masseuse, would you? Those are romantic gestures and best left for your girlfriend.
If anything, you'd do well to wait until you'd seen your cuddlist a few times, then ask her if bringing her coffee or something else would be appropriate on your next visit. You never know who's going to get freaked out or appreciate the gesture. Best to ask first.
Sometimes I give my cuddle buddies gifts, crystals, or necklaces that Ive made, candies, or things like that, and some of my cuddle buddies have given me things in return; Flowers(420/joint), hotchocolate, a few regulars even went above and beyond and gave me the cutest little thing of inspirational tattoos, another got me an amythest bracelet. I think gestures are cute, and sweet and are really nice ice breakers I would say a rose may be too romantic, but everyone likes chocolates (I wouldnt do a heart box or anything like that though), and coffee would be totally fine, Id just ask first if its coffee or hotcoco incase she has it a certain way or if she doesnt like it that much, she can let you know. I think its incredibly sweet that you are considering that, its absolutely never necissary but it shows you have a kind heart right off the bat.
A pro can't ask for a gift and gifts can't be used as payment for a pros time. FYI
Yeah but to clarify, it's allowed in the context of what's being discussed in this thread.
Generally speaking, guys would need to be more cautious I'd say (so as not to have intentions misinterpretted). That said, I wouldn't bring a gift as presumably most people on here who are looking to cuddle want to at least start platonic. A gift would be more date-ish and romantic, @BlueIris had good advice / reasoning for that, so if you're cuddling with someone who strictly wants to be platonic it'd likely put them on alert/cautious mode.
There might be exceptions, i.e. if you were talking with someone and they mention liking something in passing (so to speak). The safest option is not to bring anything to start, imo.
Morpheus and Mark, I was referring to a non-pro cuddle companion. Thank You.
@Robert02910 I figured as so, no offense meant but I just wanted to state something that's related.
I can only speak for myself obviously but I would very much not want people to get me anything. Everyone is different though.
edit------ If you'd really like to though maybe bring something that both of you could use. Tea perhaps.
I am a professional cuddle and as far as gifts go, I agree with all the above answers. Just wanted to add that everyone loves flowers. I don't mean roses, that's a romantic gesture. I'm talking a mixed bouquet or something of the sort. Every space can benifit from the beauty of them! I see nothing wrong with the gift of flowers for a host. Perhaps I'm old fashioned?
@Suzanne as a pro, if a client brings you a gift, it's okay but you cant ask for a gift or take a gift as payment. If I were you though, I would be leery of a gift that's a little too generous. Flowers for any type of host is always a nice gesture. To me though, giving flowers for a platonic cuddle session seems romantic and can blur lines. Another thing pros need to remember is if a client continually gives you gifts, his feelings for you may not be healthy. He may be liking you for more than a platonic paid cuddle buddy. You may reap the benefits of this while he's going to end up emotionally hurt. There's a lot of focus on females on this site and how men on here try to take things to a sexual level or for their safety but there's little to no consideration for men's emotions on this site.
I have several rose bushes , different varieties. I'm constantly pruning them . If a cuddle person got a bouquet from me , there's nothing romantic about it . I figure someone could enjoy them for a while because they would just end up on the compost heap
All adults need to take responsibility for their own emotions in all their relationships in life. It's not anyone else's responsibility or job to do so; feeling responsible for someone else's boundary problems is a red flag for boundary issues on both sides. anyone not in control of their own boundaries, emotional or physical, should consult a professional therapist who is trained to address this problem. Any recipient/victim of overstepped boundaries is responsible only for upholding her own boundaries/safety/individuality.
To return to topic: it is up to the gift recipient to assess whether the gift is appropriate or not, and act accordingly. I have friends who have gifted cut flowers to dinner parties, funerals, graduations, and for no formal reason. Also when they are going out of town or have culled their gardens.
I try to be sensitive about how my intentions will be received, but if you are honest and pure in your intent then I'm sure it wont come off as bribery for additional "extras", or seem boyfriendish. Sometimes you gotta just stop worrying so much and go with how you feel. Just be an adult and try to not overthink it.
@pmvines As usual your words carry wisdom. Jim
...might help to refer back to the vendor contractor relationship. The contractor/vendor is responsible for delivering the contracted service within a stipulated time period and nothing else outside of that co Myra the. Otherwise the cookie vendor could be held responsible to the cookie buyer if the buyer gains weight or else is fat in the first place after buying the cookie. Even if the buyer were not overweight before buying the cookie, and could prove that all the weight gain were solely ascribable to that one vendor's cookie, no cookie vendor is obligated to accept a buyer's blame, and no court would award damages or even blame to the complaining buyer. Right?
That contract period is what I meant to say
Sometimes .. if the cookie vendor was smart , she already has disclaimer on cookie packages describing possible wight gains resulting from consumption of cookies , due to ingredients , however , cookie vendor, should also restrict sales to minors , who , would probably stuff themselves too much . Good defense would request continuance after scbheduled court dates to allow plaintiff to loose weight , thereby , stepping on scale in courtroom , demonstates correct , BMI , of plaintiff . Damages therefore , only are awarded to cover costs of immediate clothing purchases , ( to allow for expanded waist). Maybe dental cavities . ( btw , a waist is a terrible thing to mind)
I feel like this conversation somehow got way off the rails. The female non-pro was hosting me in her home, and normally as a guest in any other situation you would show up with a small gesture: bottle of wine, a pound cake, etc... anyway, the cuddle date was last night. I thought long and hard about it, and decided that nothing says "cuddle" like milk and cookies! I showed up with a SMALL box of Oreos and two chocolate milks, and she burst out laughing, the ice was broken, my appreciation was communicated, the cookies were delicious, and we both felt like little kids. It was perfect!
I vote to ..bo exchange of gifts ..such a bad idea ..make things hell akward if gift is xrao8 or ott for either party !
@Robert02910 You didn't say in the op that it was a non-pro cuddle buddy. Your final choice of cookies and milk was a lot better than a rose or box of chocolates, which have romantic overtones. Glad it went well!
Oreos and chocolate milk sound fantastic!
I would say it's probably inappropriate to bring gifts at first, regardless of whether the person is a pro or not. If the person is not a pro, maybe ask them what snacks/drinks/tea they like and then pick some up at the supermarket on your way. I'd avoid anything that appears romantic like flowers or chocolates, though!!