I want to throw in my voice here. The first time I was jumped and robbed ("jumping" is hood slang for a bunch of people surprising you and physically beating you up) I was eight years old.
You don't tell people, because there is a code of not "snitching" which, if violated, will result in more violence towards you.
I've also had to fight over the most trivial things. My middle school had gang police and metal detectors.
Even in fights you had to be careful, because the other person often has nothing to lose and has no qualms about putting you in the hospital.
You combine this with a bad home situation and there is no escape from the violence. It's 24/7. I feel that many poor young men also have this experience. Many can spend their whole lives stuck in these situations and either end up killed or in prison or homeless and with debilitating mental issues.
As an aside, I think this is what makes the ghetto scary to normal society. We are treated like animals, so we become animals with nothing to lose.
I'm lucky I could get out, but the scars don't go away.
@samfiddle: Just for coughing? Not for coughing around other people during a pandemic without a mask? Huh. You must have a really annoying cough. I can't say mine has ever inspired that level of hostility in anyone I wasn't related to.
So wait—men are socially conditioned to assault each other at the drop of a hat? I gotta admit that one's news to me.
You're scared that if you cuddle another man, what, you'll beat him at Mario Party and he'll punch you in the face? I mean, sure, I've wanted to hit people who've beat me at games lots of times in my life, but I have this little thing called "self-control."
Honestly, at this point I kind of feel like you're from an alternate universe or something.
A really violent one.
I’d really love it if folks would go back and read the OP.
And then get back on topic.
I mean, we have a new member, they shared an experience and their hopes for coming to this site and look where this went. It would be really nice if we showed some hospitality and responded to their OP.
Just a thought.
@Babichev you are correct, and I will end my posts in this thread here. It's just that the PTSD gets triggered and these things flow out.
@HumbleIntrovert - I’ve often wondered how many people in my personal life would love some platonic cuddling but are afraid to voice it? One thing I’ve learned is that the more I open up to the people around me the more others open up to me. Of course, I’ve had to learn to discern who is safe and who is not. When I was younger I would open up to anyone about anything and learned the hard way that’s not a smart thing to do, that one needs to exercise some judgement. I’m glad, in your case, you took a chance, the outcome was good, and you feel encouraged. I hope we haven’t discouraged you to keep it up.
I apologize for any of my contribution to the derailment.
@HumbleIntrovert I hope you can find what you are looking for.
@DaringSprinter It was prepandemic, i wasnt even near this dude I was just sitting in my vehicle and he mustve been having a bad day or something. But hey way to not so subtlely try to associate me with covid deniers to be dismissive of my experiences. As much as youre doing your best to pretend like the idea of violence against men is outlandish and patently ridiculous, again the data supports what im saying. And i find data considerably more persuasive than "i just feel like it doesnt apply here". Enjoy your "alternative facts" i guess. @babicheive ive noticed you consistently abusing your power as moderator to shut down conversations you dont like, so im expecting my ban. Despite all the cosplay, this website is a capitalist enterprise and doesnt tolerate boat rocking.
Way to invite a time out, @samfiddle Don’t assume you know why any particular individual is banned until you know you have all the information and don’t assume that discussions get shut down because they are not to my liking. If you don’t like this website there are others that you might find better meet your standards. [Babichev]
@DaringSprinter You know that you can be a feminist and care about violence against men right? Dismissing violence against men, and the rational fear of it men can have, only reinforces the patriarchy. Js.
@Babichev, thank you for bring supportive of my post. It’s my very first post actually. I still have a lot of hope for finding platonic cuddling on here. I know that I have a very strong support group of my family and close friends in my life.
Way to go @Babichev! Methinks someone is cosplaying as a feminist/ally and I'm glad to see it get shut down.
And to the OP @HumbleIntrovert:
"I’ve joined after a long-term relationship breakup out of hope of being built back up again."
Same here! Happy to report that I met two cuddlers on here that I've been cuddling with for a year now. They are true friends and absolutely worth all of the screening I had to do to filter out the duds 😁 Good luck!
@SweetiSammi, thank you. I wish it were more socially acceptable as well. @Cuddle_RN, it gives me hope to hear that. I’m sure if I give it some time, I will find a good cuddle buddy / friend for sure.