@Jkay Oh. My. God. Hear! Hear! You put that so eloquently. I couldn't agree more.
How does one even become a pro? I've given it some thought. I would want to make sure to encourage feedback from every client so that others could see how respectful I was of the client's wishes and attentive to their needs.
@cuddlebear4U48 the best way is to do one of the training courses that are available.
But be realistic. You're in Tennessee, which is not a cuddle or new-trend hotspot, and the reality is that unless you are very serious about it you will attract no clients at all. Even if you are very serious, your chances of success are very slim.
@CuddleWho "There are just as may women as there are men"...but that's not the math we're doing here. Your statement seems to assume 100% of the women should be willing and able to supply said affection. As I've already pointed out, having the gender of female doesn't not necessarily make someone gifted at affection/ nurture nor even like it. Many people who identify as women do not like affection nor do they feel naturally gifted at being nurturing. Does this doesn't make them bad women: NO...this just makes them human.
Make no mistake the vast majority of affection is still be given away for free. Of all the affection I have distributed in my lifetime I've been compensated (finacially) for %.00002 (a generous estimate). Most people giving affection are compensated for none. So affection is still, on the whole, a free commodity.
Receiving affection on the other hand is something people usually get in larger quantities when they have adapted well to the rules of social primates. Affection most naturally occurs in family structures, friendship communities or domestic partnerships. In order to be fully accepted in those last three arenas one has to be willing to do a considerable amount of emotional labor which is also usually done for free based on the agreement of those aforementioned structures.
What I see (on this site, of course with wonderful exceptions) is men who want affection, but don't want, or don't know how to do emotional labor. Men are pissed they don't get hugs, but don't want to do the hard work of being woven into community. In this way I think the pay for affection model is a blessing, because you can have your touch met needs without the other labor.
"In your view is it also only societal indoctrination that leads (most) men to think they only want sex from women?"
Your question about sex is a puzzling one in a conversation about platonic touch, nurture and affection. It seems like you are implying that's someone's sexual preference is also directly tied to whom they can receive affection from. These two things are not intrinsically linked.
On the subject of sexual preference and societal indoctrination; I've read numerous studies, books and articles on how society's tendency to default to heteronormative narratives and structures have led many women to lead heterosexual lives, when they are in fact gay or bi-sexual. To answer your question, it's been well documented in women that societal indocrtination has led to a skewed expression of sexual preference. I would not be the right person to comment the relationship between straight men and societal pressures, though it stands to reason societal norms would also have some effect on men's expression of sexual preference. To what extend and to what degree I'm sure would be a very nuanced topic, one that I am certainly not an expert in.
@nurturingman Thank you for your kind words.
@Jkay
Many people who identify as women do not like affection
I would lean towards saying that someone who "doesn't like affection" likely has a mental disorder or history of trauma or something.
Men are pissed they don't get hugs, but don't want to do the hard work of being woven into community
Well, there's a lot of truth to this. But note that for women who want affection from men this work is completely optional. I've been the target and witnessed on multiple occasions women who seek out and effortlessly receive cuddles, sex, or other forms of affection, care, and help from men who are complete strangers, in scenarios that would be basically impossible for 99% of men to achieve. The reason "hard work" is a necessary prerequisite for affection is because women want it to be... until they don't want it, and then they're able to easily get their needs met without it.
I just don't understand the need to so heavily criticize men when in this scenario women are the ones with an enormous advantage.
It seems like you are implying that's someone's sexual preference is also directly tied to whom they can receive affection from.
Not really, I'm just making the point that our preferences are not wholly shaped by "society" and to some extent they're innate and can't be worked around. When I see women assert that men could easily get their desire for affection met from other men it makes me feel these women have no idea what men think and feel. I can, and occasionally do, receive affection from men. It does not and never will replace what I receive from women. It's a very different thing.
It's not because I think women have some magic secret sauce or are innately gifted at giving love or something. In fact plenty of them are terrible at it. It's because they're women. I like putting my arms around a woman in a way I won't ever get from hugging a man. It's not because I'm stupid or unenlightened.
@Jkay - every word of this, particularly:
"...Men [on this site] who want affection, but don't want, or don't know how to do emotional labor. Men are pissed they don't get hugs, but don't want to do the hard work of being woven into community." [emphasis mine]
Indeed, conflating sexual preference, sexuality, and "societal indoctrination" with platonic touch, affection, and nurturing is men's blind spot here.
I know there is a huge difference between how many clients a female cuddler can get vs how many a male can get. My guesses for this are: 1. There's no stigma against a woman cuddling another woman. I wish this stigma didn't exist for men. 2. Most women you speak to will have a story of a man abusing her or someone she loves. 3. "A man's greatest fear is that a woman will laugh at him. A woman's greatest fear is that a man will hurt her.". -Gavin DeBecker While I don't think any pro men on this site would hurt a woman or force themselves on her, that's a big hurdle to overcome.
@NillaBear
While I don't think any pro men on this site would hurt a woman or force themselves on her, that's a big hurdle to overcome
Bless your heart you must be new here.
@NillaBear - The pro tag just means they charge money. That's it. It doesn't mean they are more qualified or safe than non-pros.
Like selling sand in the middle east