Anyone had any luck here?

Shawn2015 · January 2016

I live in LA county and i sent message to some girls who live nearby, i read their profile and they are alsolooking for cuddles/hugs only, but they dont care to reply even. They dont even reply with a "no".
So i was wondering if maybe some of the profiles here are fake. Anyone else facing the same problem that when u message someone, u dont get a reply...

moviesNmuseums · January 2016

Not getting any response from the ladies is quite common on a lot of dating sites... this isn't exactly the same sort of site, but I'd imagine a lot of the same issues exist. Okcupid did some studies on that, if you can still find their articles. They claimed that women who say "no thank you" often get nasty upset messages afterwards, so it might just not be worth the trouble for ladies.

You can probably still find news articles about the guy who hacked tinder after they were proven to have fake profiles, it turns out they had about 1,000 fake profiles, who did send a few messages to guys... but the more interesting thing was that they had hundreds of thousands of real female profiles... and only about 1% of the real women ever used it more than one or two times. They just made a profile, and quit.

You may notice that this website lists when a person was last online. Go see the ladies again, and make sure they've even been online since you last messaged them.

And of course there's always the other sites... Craigslist and POF, for example... where there are probably AR least 50 guys for every girl...

Fake profiles... sure, could be a few... but that's not likely to be the main problem.

Truth is, there are way more guys on most websites than girls, so they have plenty to pick from... there are also enough explosive manchildren on most websites that saying "sorry but no" can produce some very unpleasant results... which likely means that a lot of women who even give online dating a try get scared off, or find what they were looking for, snd never come back.

Now I know this isn't online dating here exactly, but there are guys looking for girls, and that whole happy chemical thing, so I'd bet a lot of the same issues crop up.

Keep working on that snappy banter for your messages, and with a little luck, you'll find someone eventually. Sorry it isn't instantaneous like we were probably all hoping it would be.

January 2016

To further develop moviesNmuseums, response, in our digital age we have in some ways come to overrely on the Internet to fulfil our social needs. In some ways it has helped. Like now, we are in a discussion on a common interest although we may be hundreds of miles apart.

Again, this CC concept is not a dating site, but there are several problems that run parallel, some of which have been pointed out.

The problem I see with online dating is that it is popularly expected to be the best way to meet someone compatible with unrealistic expectations. We expect a finite computer algorithm to analyze our infinitely complex personalities to predict who we will fall in love with. I recently had a past crazy coworker turn up on my list of chemistry matches on POF.

In spite of online dating's popularly, it actually ranks low on the percentage scale, accounting for only 10 - 20% of current marriages. According to statisticbrain.com introductions by common friends reign supreme at a whopping 63% of married couples.

Now for a site like CC I understand that we are not looking for more than a platonic friendship that includes cuddling. My point is that we should not set our expectations too high for an online service, especially one that carries an inherent risk when meeting a stranger is involved. What may look good on paper could be very awkward when you discover a potential cuddle partner's real personality.

Grace_Anna · January 2016

A long, long time ago I put up a profile on a dating site, forgot about it and got nasty, upset messages from guys for NOT responding. You can't win with some people either way. I generally respond on this site and I haven't gotten any nasty messages.

docgatorb · January 2016

I think that compared to dating sites, the caliber of the members on this site, both male and female, is much higher. I suspect that is because sex is not an expected outcome. Although online services can provide a valuable way to potentiate human interaction, they also provide a way for people to buffer themselves from interaction. Unfortunately, trying to tell these two things apart is not very easy. I have seen people place phrases in their profile and then asked people to quote it when they send a message. This is to screen out those messages coming from people who don't even bother to read profiles. It is really surprising how many people contact a total stranger without reading a profile.

I think that as we discuss this, we will eventually come up with more modifications to the web site that will help overcome some of these limitations.

January 2016

I've had no luck. I picked a bad time to join; because once i did; all the nearby members haven't been online for months and still haven't back on. My guess is they had no luck and gave up. I only found a professional on here but charges too much for a session.

January 2016

That's how dating websites are. A guy puts in a lot of work and time by reading a girls profile, but she ignores his message. Dating websites cater to women only.

docgatorb · January 2016

Men have dominated politics and business. To be successful, a male generally has to be involved. Women dominate the dating/mating world. Generally, to be successful, men have to accept their lesser role. It's not that hard, yet men like to point out that they put in a lot of work (writing profiles, contacting women). I think that the ones that complain the most are the ones that have trouble writing a complete paragraph. And yes, they get passed over for the ones who can. Yes, dating websites cater to women just as the local tavern caters to men. Instead of complaining, the male members of this site would best hone their social skills rather than their whining skills. Take the time to talk to a few members outside of your immediate neighborhood and learn about the various concerns that members have about using this site.

Zionscalling · January 2016

It is a bit ridiculous on here.
I'm noticing on here the whole "Not responding" thing is becoming a lot more prominent. A few months ago, there was an active user SUPER close by, and we chatted a bit, and then she just stopped responding to me on kik. She read my messages but never responded to this day...

Other than that, I occasionally message a new comer to the site who lives in the area, and they come to visit my page and then block me even though I just say "Hello, welcome to the site, good to see someone close by..." and things along that line. It's emotionally draining at this point that I'm not attractive enough/not what they expect/whatever and can't even get the basic amount of respect a human being deserves in just being polite with a "No thank you" or some kind of response.

January 2016

Doc- you really have no idea how it is, do you? Men put in all their work and it's still not good enough for women. There are some that do respond and I went on a date with one from Okcupid. It's just difficult to find good women to date in this country. It shouldn't have to be impossible.

January 2016

Zion- Ignoring messages is a "thing" for today's young women. Even on Facebook my so called female friends ignore too.

Crispin · January 2016

Cuddle_power, that all is just one more thing in life that is not fair. The whole battle between the sexes is not suppose to be fair. It's not fair to the 10,000 sperm cells that dont make it to the egg. As far as all the efort you are expending, this is a fledgling site involved in a fledgling cuddle movement. Membership here is one of about a hundred efforts u should be making. ?.and maybe it is. I hate for u to blame women in general as that will negatively taint your approach. I am learning a lot of new information in the process. And keep in mind that only need. One response to change everything.

angela10 · January 2016

Well said doc. It's difficult to chat if the member lacks interpersonal or communication skills. Unfortunately I do ignore those one-liner messages such as "Are you available today? ", "Want to drive over and cuddle?", "Hey" and etc.
If the member has no interest in getting to know person or is socially awkward, should just use professional service that way you won't get rejected.

Mark · January 2016

It's good to exchange a few messages so you have some future talking points. However, in my experience most of the time the impression you give online is not representative of your personality. I'm sure there are plenty of missed opportunities for that reason.

That's why I'm more of a fan of meeting sooner but at a public place so you can gauge your chemistry. If you're organising a cuddle straight away then that's a different story.

forget8top · January 2016

I've been seeing a professional cuddler I found on this site for the last 6 months and she is amazing!!! I had almost given up hope on finding someone, but after being patient and continuing to check for cuddlers near me, I finally found her and after sending my first message and then getting a response, I was so happy!!! I can relate to the frustration of having difficulty finding someone...my advice is to keep trying and eventually you will find someone.

omloro · January 2016

I made contact with a guy on this site. We even started texting. but we learned quickly that we weren't compatible. Turns out that he doesn't like drugs or to smoke but he likes Hooka witch is inhaling some form of smoke...(or something like this). Somehow it was a turn off form me so.....back to square one!!!

docgatorb · January 2016

AJM writes: I've had no luck. I picked a bad time to join; because once i did; all
the nearby members haven't been online for months and still haven't back
on. My guess is they had no luck and gave up. I only found a
professional on here but charges too much for a session.

AJM, i viewed your profile and it appears that you seek romance. Perhaps you would have more 'luck' on a dating site.

January 2016

Maybe people just come to this site to dip their toes in the pool with no intentions of actually diving in. Its much safer that way.

Crispin · January 2016

I truly think it will continue to evolve. I see a lot of very young women who are just sick of the dating game and the idea of cuddling without it becoming something confusing or unpleasent is. Inviting. I don't imagine many even meeting someone alone without a bit of checking first. A lot of it is fantasy but many are learning to think in a different way and that is good. What we are doing in social pioneering.

docgatorb · January 2016

I agree that it will continue to evolve. I think that the time for this is almost ripe,but can't be sure. It's obvious that the site is growing, but I wonder if it is growing as fast as we should be expecting or are we not doing something critical or should change something or stop doing something. Maybe Mark should convene a non-judgmental thread or other discussion to address this is some way. Or maybe Mark wants to take a hand-off approach and not interfere with a budding community. If so, maybe we should form a council.

January 2016

I reach out and no women reach back.

I think folks could just be picky about who they wish to cuddle. They also could be receiving tons of interest and then become overwhelmed / over-estimated and shut down. I have had many women friends share this with me about dating sites. It can just be too much for some.

Crispin · January 2016

It is organic. I think word of mouth works good. I think it is interesting to most people with whom I share the info. Tell your friends about the site and the movement.

alwaysremember · January 2016

I joined this site in 2013.
Now in 2016 I had my first cuddle date with someone I met on here.
Anyone coming to DFW should hit me up.
linkedin.com/in/dcdanielcaldwell

Crispin · January 2016

Thanks for sharing that. So it is worth hanging around. Some of us, well all of us needed to hear this from you.

Grace_Anna · January 2016

I try to respond to every message, and yes sometimes there a lot. The interesting thing is at one point, I had 25 people (all men) contacting me over a four month period and I wasn't sure I made even one cuddle friend out of all those people. Some because of distance, some because they just wanted to ask questions about this site and my experiences, some because they seemed to be looking for more than cuddling.

If there's anything I learned it's that someone who is very handsy while cuddling in a public place, like a movie theater, is most likely not going to be able to cuddle as just friends in private. It doesn't matter how explicitly I restate my boundaries and expectations. I also learned to be cautious when people start out with some sort of compliment regarding attractiveness. I would actually advise guys to NOT start out a message to a potential cuddle buddy by telling her how pretty or beautiful she is if they are simply interested in platonic cuddling with her. In my experience, the guys who say those things are usually unable or unwilling to just cuddle. If someone is an exception, he may be giving a woman the wrong impression by complimenting her on her appearance right away.

I did end up making connections with people who are really interested in just cuddling. While I am not looking for any more connections right now, I change up my profile when I am. I started putting a quick statement about my expectations and boundaries in my profile. Some people are not here just for platonic cuddling. Some people are. I figure the people who want more than cuddling may decide to move on to someone else (perhaps even on another site) if they actually read my profile. If they don't read my profile, I also make sure to ask about their boundaries and expectations upfront and state mine while messaging back and forth. I feel this leads to better matches and less frustration for everyone.

docgatorb · January 2016

You might trying putting a phrase in your profile and state that any messages to you must include the phrase if a response is desired. It makes it clear if someone bothered to read your profile and makes screening messages easier.

January 2016

Wow, this was an eye-opener. I joined this site once before, about a year ago. Built a detailed profile, and wrote to a lot of people. No luck. Canceled after about six months. Decided to give it another shot. Still not a lot of activity in my area. I've been debating whether or not to invest the time to write a good profile statement like before. And now alwaysremember says he joined in 2013 and finally met someone for cuddling in 2016. I knew it wouldn't be an instant thing, but a 2-3-year wait for success doesn't fill me full of confidence.

I've been using professional cuddlers about twice per month for the past year or so. I like everything about it except the substantial cash outlay. But at least I can end up cuddling within a day or two of deciding I want to. Came here in search of hope and change. Guess I'd better just count my blessings and forget about it.

January 2016

I'm from the uk and just recently joined.Love the concept as have always wanted to seperate affection from a relationship and just meet someone for cuddles,hugs but no sex as I think that's for a relationship.
There are quite a few profiles with pictures but some haven't logged in for ages,months even years:-(
Its frustrating from that point of view but am going to be patient as I think the site is very well constructed and easy to use.
Hope my patience will pay off:-)

MrMountainLion · February 2016

In the most respectful language possible, the overwhelming majority of women on this site, at least in the greater Los Angeles area, are shallow, narcissistic individuals. And this represents a microcosm of society as a whole.

The overwhelming pattern I have experienced is as follows: these toxic women respond to a man's messages by viewing his profile, while ignoring the message. This is different than pretending he does not exist. A female pretending a man does not exist would not even view his profile. What these female energy vampires are doing is communicating to men that she regards them as worthless. A glance, followed by silence, is a passive-aggressive means of expressing contempt. It is a non-verbal way of saying, "You don't even matter. You're nothing to me."

It appears, the majority of women approach this website as they would approach a dating site. Never mind that this is not a dating site, as per the title and description of this site. And yet, these pampered princesses behave exactly as they would if they were dating.

In seeking a platonic, female cuddle partner, I had expected to avoid the bullshit that inevitably accompanies dating. Surprise, surprise! It's the same bloody thing.

I established my account on this site back in August 2015. Thus far, I have encountered a mere two women locally who demonstrated even potential interest in establishing a cuddle relationship with me. The first declined for understandable reasons. She was completely honest. That was back in September.

During the past four weeks, I have been corresponding with a young lady who reached out to me immediately when I messaged her. We have established a solid connection during that time, and will soon meet. Updates to follow.

MrMountainLion · February 2016

angela10, The first message I sent to the one person who has expressed interest in establishing a cuddle relationship with me was a "one-liner." I initiated communication with a simple "hello." That is perfectly normal. Why? Because I had nothing more to say as of then. Well, she responded by reaching out to me, and then I responded with a message of greater substance, and it progressed from there. So it is some bullshit to claim that one-liners are inherently inappropriate. "Hello" is just another way of saying, "let's start a conversation. I'm interested in getting to know you."

angela10 · February 2016

Intactivistjedi, congratulations!! Some of us aren't as lucky as you. Different strokes for different folks.

Categories

Anyone had any luck here?

Comments