@BuggleBear said: "You replied (confrontationally) to one because you didn't like what she had commented,"
Her "comment" was derisive laughter at my post. I'm curious as to why she thought my post deserved ridicule. If that's confrontational, then it's justified confrontation in my view.
@FitSmartCuddler no not a paradox. You clicked on a forum contributor. I am talking about the tons of people who don't participate on forums. Go to the search feature and look for men there. Remember you are reversing the process by pretending that you are a woman looking for a man. Click on lots of those men. A lot of them don't participate on forums.
@OhioMike said: " I am talking about the tons of people who don't participate on forums. ..."
Instead of me having to solve a mystery, why don't you just tell me the point you're trying to get across?
He's not exactly speaking in riddles.... 🙄
When my kids were young, I was like most parents I assume. When they would be doing homework and ask how to spell a certain word, I would tell them to look it up in the dictionary. ( 😂this is way before spell check people)
@FitSmartCuddler my "point" is there are successful male cuddlers on here meeting with female enthusiasts. I was hoping to show you how to maybe get closer to that goal. No one is going to do that for you. Sorry if this upset you.
I do wish you the best in your search. Happy Cuddling! 😊
@OhioMike said: "my "point" is there are successful male cuddlers on here meeting with female enthusiasts. I was hoping to show you how to get closer to that goal. No one is going to do that for you. Sorry if I upset you."
You didn't upset me. I accept your premise that there are successful male cuddles here meeting female enthusiasts. I already did one thing you suggested, and your response is "no no, it's not that thing, you need to try something else." Instead of continuing playing guessing games, why don't you just tell me why you think these cuddlers are having the success? Shouldn't take more than a couple of sentences, at most.
@FitSmartCuddler
The impression that I get from this and other of your posts is that you believe there's a secret code that will get you what you are looking for.
The problem with that is when you ask for the secret code, it looks like you're looking for shortcuts. As soon as people think you're looking for shortcuts (whether it's true or not), it tends to make you seem insincere.
I have not yet had a cuddle with an enthusiast. I've been on here for six years. I bit the bullet, and paid for lots of cuddles, and grew in the process.
I come on the forum with the aim of contributing to the lives of those in the community. I'm starting to make friends. There's a very strong possibility that one of those friends and I will be cuddling in a couple of months.
The secret code is this: be genuine, patient, willing to learn, and generous. Give more than you take, and let that be its own reward. Along the way, you'll find unexpected rewards that are just as good as cuddles.
I truly wish you the best of luck in this process.
@FitSmartCuddler FYI if you put this symbol > before a paragraph of text it will give you the Quotation style.
It looks like this. Alternatively, copy and paste the text you want to quote into your post, then highlight it and click the drop down box of the paragraph size, and choose Quotation.
Most of my Karma is from professionals, but five or six of them are from enthusiasts.
@JoyfulHeart
Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start
@grumpy_cat Shhhh! That's not supposed to be public nollij!
Thanks @CuddleDuncan .
Basically, nobody is going to do the work for you. There are numerous threads about how to be 'successful' on CC, and if you want to gain the knowledge you seek, you'll go and do your homework, listen to the advice people have given you, and stop trying to take shortcuts- there aren't any.
😂lmao@grumpy_cat... 30 men🧍♂️🧍♂️🧍♂️🧍♂️🧍♂️🧍♂️🧍♂️🧍♂️🧍♂️🧍♂️🧍♂️🧍♂️🧍♂️🧍♂️🧍♂️🧍♂️🧍♂️🧍♂️🧍♂️🧍♂️🧍♂️🧍♂️🧍♂️🧍♂️🧍♂️🧍♂️🧍♂️🧍♂️🧍♂️🧍♂️
Bro, this is not the way….
You’ll “make every effort to honor your boundaries” - sounds like you’ll try but you could fail. It’s also nice to mention, that despite your fine physique, you might give a ‘large’ lady a chance. Oh my…..
What do I know? I’m new here and probably on thin ice anyway. Maybe this is the way. Good luck, A for effort I guess.
@JoyfulHeart said:
As soon as people think you're looking for shortcuts (whether it's true or not), it tends to make you seem insincere. I have not yet had a cuddle with an enthusiast. I've been on here for six years. I bit the bullet, and paid for lots of cuddles, and grew in the process.
Thank you. I think you're the first person who has been willing to acknowledge the reality here--namely, that the overwhelmingly more likely way for a man to get cuddles using this site is to pay for them. And, probably, pay for lots of them before you'd ever get one for free--if, in fact, that ever happens at all.
The fact that it's seen as a "shortcut" if you expect to be able to cuddle for free without first paying $1,000 so you can get the needed karma to give you "cred" underscores my point.
I'm interested in dealing in reality, so if that's the reality, that's fine. It means my chances of finding a cuddle partner here are very low--because I'm not interested in paying for cuddles.
I think he might have cuddled a fat girl at one point and decided it wasn't as horrendous as he initially thought it would be, therefore he'd tolerate it in the future if a thinner cuddle partner didn't present themselves 🤣
Those are good rules to live by, and I agree. I like to think I'm a generous person, but I draw the line at paying for companionship.
too sassy
@BuggleBear said:
you'll go and do your homework, listen to the advice people have given you, and stop trying to take shortcuts- there aren't any.
I've read a lot of threads. I don't feel that I've gotten specific advice other than "be willing to pay for lots of cuddles before you expect to get a free one." Is avoiding this the "shortcut" you're referring to?
Saying that you have certain qualities is less effective than demonstrating them. You may have them, but saying so doesn't convince people. In fact, there's a principle in which saying, "trust me" lowers people's likeliness to trust.
I've received free cuddles on here. Someone liked me enough to pay on my behalf for a session with someone who lives closer to me. Something I'm doing is working: it just takes a while.
Sometimes paying is the shortcut that you're looking for. If it improves your outlook on life, it's worth it.
There’s an interesting thread called, “Why do people fight here”.
@FitSmartCuddler that's one of the directions I was trying to help steer you away from . The forums can be largely negative especially about men finding female enthusiasts. That's why I recommended you to go to search feature and not click on a forum poster. In the search feature you will find more male enthusiasts with success.
Again best wishes in your search.
@cuddles_ndream sometimes I feel like I am playing the "BINGO" thread!
For someone that seems to be struggling with what everyone is saying (he continually keeps asking “what are you saying?) I think he might want to remove smart from his username.
🧊
@mc_quiettime said:
You’ll “make every effort to honor your boundaries” - sounds like you’ll try but you could fail.
That's not exactly what I said. But if I said "I will absolutely honor your boundaries, there is no chance whatsoever that I could fail at this," then the naysayers in this forum would accuse me of being cocky and over-confident.
It’s also nice to mention, that despite your fine physique, you might give a ‘large’ lady a chance. Oh my…..
Again, I didn't say "fine." I said "fit." There's a difference. I am "fit," by most reasonable definitions of that term. Some women have told me they're insecure about being with me because I'm in "good shape" and they're not. My goal here was to convey that I'm not looking for perfection. If what I said still isn't good enough for some people, then I guess they won't be contacting me for cuddling. :-}
This thread reminded me of something I wrote a wee while ago. Yes it does include the idea of cuddling professionals, but there is more to it than that.
@FitSmartCuddler I'm curious: why don't you want to hire a professional cuddler? Your comment about "companionship" troubles me. Professional cuddlers - assuming they are competent - are not offering companionship. Some do, but that's a separate service (sometimes at a different (lower) rate).
Saying that you have certain qualities is less effective than demonstrating them. You may have them, but saying so doesn't convince people."
Yes, of course. But I won't have a chance to demonstrate them until I'm physically present with someone, right? ;-)
In fact, there's a principle in which saying, "trust me" lowers people's likeliness to trust.
I don't think I said "trust me" in my pledge. I am making promises and stating what I plan to deliver. Admittedly, there's no way for anyone reading it to be sure I can deliver on what I promise. That's where willingness to take a calculated risk comes into play. Incidentally, I also take a risk, too, when I meet anyone.
That's nice for you, but that's not what I mean by "free" cuddle. I mean that someone wants to be with me because she likes something about me and not because she's getting paid.
I'm pretty sure it wouldn't, since I'm opposed to paying for cuddles.
You asked for advice, I offered it, and you are analyzing and refusing it. I've learned something here today.
I honestly wish you the best.
@CuddleDuncan said:
"This thread reminded me of something I wrote a wee while ago. Yes it does include the idea of cuddling professionals, but there is more to it than that. "How I found happiness on Cuddle Comfort." @FitSmartCuddler I'm curious: why don't you want to hire a professional cuddler?
Someone in another thread provided a good metaphor: it's like paying someone to come to your birthday party. I get fulfillment out of knowing someone wants to be in my presence because they like me, not because they're getting paid. Also, I just don't want/need a cuddle badly enough to pay $100/$150 for it. On a related note, I also don't own a $70k automobile or buy $300 dress shirts at Nordstrom's.
Your comment about "companionship" troubles me. Professional cuddlers - assuming they are competent - are not offering companionship. Some do, but that's a separate service (sometimes at a different (lower) rate).
Now you're getting nitpicky. I call someone laying next to you and holding a form of companionship. But use whatever word you prefer.