been on this site for three whole minutes and no pretty women have knocked on my door. Maybe my profile isn't good? I want feedback, but only if it's flattering to me. You're welcome.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Wow, I think you're profiles really awesome and I'd love to cuddle you if you're ever in my area someday and also if I was a pretty women!
I think you should add more pictures though? So women can see more what their cuddling, not because I want to. Also a picture from your days in the Alaskan wilderness would be good.
@DaringSprinter
thanks bro. If you look like what you look in your profile pic like I might cuddle if you talk like girl. I'm not attracted to cartoons because I am not a weeb but I can make an acception.
If I was closer, I'd trade you for some math tutoring.
Bruh I’d move you up to a C+ if you mentioned that you parkour to work from rooftop to rooftop and talk about how much the females should trust you. So far you’re at a solid D.
Bingo?
@ShaneMTB
I'm a good guy. Women should just cuddle me because of how good I am. I've said it twice now. Maybe if I say it again a women who I could imagine doing a sex on will be at my door.
I'm a good guy.
I like good guys. They is the best type of guys. I'd do the cuddling with you because I like good guys, and you have said it so much you must be a good guy
@HogboblinZwei I don't usully talk like a girl, but I can do it especially if you draw me something on a napkin, not that you have to but if you did i bet Id squeal like a little girl on christmas day.
I think your very trustworthy and I want to meet your tame wolves if thats okay.
Well ok... but only if you pledge that you're not going to throw pumkin shaped bombs at me from your flying death machine as you laugh maniacally from behind a creepy yellow mask will I CONSIDER such an action
@Shake49
Cool dudes can't make promises that they might break in service of being so dang cool.
@BuggleBear me knew just say right word; then lady cuddle me.
@ShaneMTB you have to tell me you're a nice guy though, else I won't know.
You can meet my wolf XxDarkAragorn420NoScopexX you can see him I my painting. Didn't have a napkin so I used the last paper towel I had left after cleaning up my mansion because hitmen tried to get me. I got them.
Anyway XxDarkAragorn420NoScopexX is cool. He's a bad dude but not as bad as the others he won't kill you he can be an angle or a devil...
Just like me
@HogboblinZwei
Eeeeee!
@HogboblinZwei - I’d love to feel those gale force winds from that amazing Freedom flag someday.
@HogboblinZwei and @DaringSprinter are now best buds for life😂👍🏽
@HogboblinZwei cant rate since I don’t know who your audience is… the people your hoping to cuddle. Some will see it as you making a joke of the whole cuddle community and some will think you are a must cuddle because they will not be bored. To bad you can’t bottle that personality and sell it to the masses so they can take a hit. You would be filthy rich.
@HogboblinZwei Hahaha!!! Too funny!!!😂🤣
@Touchmesoftly Yeah! Me and @HogboblinZwei are best friends 5evar!
This thread is a parody, supported by the temporary changes to Zwei's profile. It's just for fun (and only makes a joke of part of the cuddling community).
Zwei's actually sitting next to me on the couch trying to beat the Elite Four in Brilliant Diamond. We do not own a wolf; neither of us wrestles bears, does parkour, or is a chess grandmaster. Our spelling and grammar are typically much less entertaining, too.
Disappointing, I know.
@HogboblinZwei The sandalwood scent has me already. When can I come down?
All kidding aside, the other day in my session with a pro her hair smelled like a hair wash which my mother used to make at home. I told her how that smell took me back to some great childhood memories. I wasn't really sure how that landed. Maybe commenting on how someone smells, even if it's all good, may not be the smartest thing - as it might immediately make one self-conscious. I'm constantly learning!
@CuddlesByDeep
Okay, from bro to bro: I'm actually a little insecure about my natural stench, so every day when I wake up I use three whole cans of Axe body spray on myself. It's critical that the three cans all be different scents so that I can attract as many women as is humanly possible. Axe really burns when it hits the throat, but it's totally worth it in my experience. Which I have a lot of. Because I'm a cool guy. A cool, good guy who is into platonic cuddling.
Everyone should believe me.
@HogboblinZwei yep, three cans of Axe will definitely cool a guy down. 😂😂😂
It’s medical proven that the ladies love certain smells: 1.) a gallon of Axe body spray; no more showering. 2.) clothes that are only washed in Febreze. 3.) A musky hair gel; really think of yourself as a sculptor of the hearts of ladies as you heap your hair up into a proud, tall pompadour that the females will really go for.
Speaking of smells you will also need smelling salts to awaken all the babes who will swoon at the very smell of you.
@ShaneMTB not so sure about "inappropriate," I was commenting about a pleasant hair scent, nothing about that is non-platonic, but certainly not a smart thing to discuss as it has the potential to trigger.
@HogboblinZwei I think a cuddle session with you would be very entertaining, from what you mention in your profile. I’m sure you have many other amazing stories to tell. Axe spray has amazing scents so that would be great too! Rate you profile 9 out of 10. It’s one of a kind. Oh wait, I’m not a dude!!! 😳
😂🤣😂🤣
Profile has the seal of approval on it, so it must be good.
I’m torn. Satire is certainly a good tool for bringing people in positions of power down to earth. But this strikes me as a gratuitous pig pile on someone who, (in spite of being such an easy target), doesn’t seem worthy of this degree of opprobrium.
I mean… I laughed. Then I felt bad for laughing. I don’t know.
The satire is not on one person, it is on an entire group of people. We used to get quite a lot of them, although there don't seem to be so many recently. The occasional one that does appear therefore stands out more.
This is about all bros not just the one - the bruhs who are real scooter rental enthusiasts, beer pong champs in only the mostly pleated of khakis, the dude-bros who know all the words to the Entourage movie and don’t worry about money. I mean I can’t remember the last time I thought about my trust fund. Right Chad?