a touchless society and the impact on "individualism",

[Deleted User]AntoineD (deleted user)

While some cities in the US are making it illegal to be homeless ( how empathic is that ? ), I wonder if the whole situation of "going out into the world" and "leaving all known elements behind" isn't really a by( e )-product of less and less touch in families overall ?
Isn't the great "individualism" that is held up so high in everyone's minds really a "liberation" or rather a flight from a touch-depriving environment ?
I mean, when growing up, the more one becomes taller, stronger, mature, heavier, closer to that final physical and mental form, the less the parents and siblings "touch" you, because the more time goes by, the more we are associated with our "sexuality" and therefore it seems almost incestuous to get in touch with one another, out of fear for that taboo subjects, though the skin and body still crave touch as they did before.
It is a bit like the metaphor of the fall of humans from the garden of Eden.
I speak as an atheist, but the image is pretty expressive.
I believe orgasm can lead astray, but I believe that touch in a platonic way is needed more than anything else nowadays for society and every individual in it, to "re-connect" to ourselves and to each other.

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Comments

  • [Deleted User]RScarf1 (deleted user)

    It's hard for men these days. That's why the MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way) movement is growing. More men are buying silicone love dolls. When they get artificial intelligence in those things, then the dolls will be even more desirable.

  • [Deleted User]Sunflowerfield (deleted user)

    Yeah it's interesting that there seems to be a lot more touch hunger and loneliness issues in individualistic western nations. In many other places like South America, affectionate platonic touch is far more normal and acceptable. I think that the sexualisation of touch (especially between people of the same gender) is often a cultural stigma. After all, there are plenty of countries where straight men can hold hands without being assumed to be gay.

  • [Deleted User]Greybeard (deleted user)

    And the cell phone and Internet have decreased same room, face to face communication. We are really isolating ourselves behind technology.

  • The puritan society of the United States did a lot to stigmatize touch and other platonic gestures (hugs etc.) It's really easy to see when you compare us to Europe and Asia in terms of touch frequency and the taboo of showing the human body. It has also in turn made showing skin highly sexualized, when many other cultures (without the puritan roots or other religious taboos) are pretty blase about skin and nudity in everyday context (ie. nudity on regular tv or a billboard ad.)

  • [Deleted User]AntoineD (deleted user)

    I am learning quite a bit from what I see in this thread.
    Thanks people.
    And by the way, I remember a cuddling session prior to being really aware of it as a sort of "online-movement" and when I didn't know that there was professional cuddling and the like out there.
    I felt really calm and like "wow, this is supposed to be my natural state." a bit like pushing away a need for too long, like the need for water when thirsty, to the point I doesn't even consciously take it into consideration any longer to adapt.
    In this moment, I realized how this whole individualistic thinking and "I am in 'survival-mode' !"-approach to life was a by-product of this lack of touch which I now crave for even more so that I was given the opportunity to explore that a bit and can't find it as easily as I wish I could at every corner.

    Be well, all of you - we are all one, in a sense, past this individualistic experience, what I used to call "freedom" not noticing how bitter, lonely, angry and sad I really was deep down.
    Free, like in "free to buy/conquer anything to drown out the pain caused by the internal void"-type of freedom ?

  • [Deleted User]RScarf1 (deleted user)

    Yes, AntoineD. We are not meant to be alone, but a lot of people are alone even though there are billions of people on this Earth. I think feminism is one of the main reasons for this, because it tries to disempower men. Men do not want to be treated like garbage anymore.

  • edited September 2017

    @RScarf1 Just when I found one thing I agree with you about, I am back to disputing you. Feminism does not attempt to disempower men. You can empower yourself without disempowering the other. Feminism is not the reason men are alone. Many men are alone, as well as women, and sometimes that is just the way it is and no real deeper meaning than that. I am alone because I want to be. It makes me happy to know I am not responsible for another persons happiness. Paradoxically selfish as that may sound. However many people who are alone are because certain things they do make them incompatible with others. For example, in your case, this isn't the first time you have expressed resentment toward women and womens issues, which is not going to project an appealing image to those who you may be trying to attract.

  • Hi. I've cuddled straight and gay men. We need fewer bariers & stigmas...

  • I've cuddled straight women and gay women :-)

  • [Deleted User]RScarf1 (deleted user)

    In theory, feminism is not supposed to disempower men. However, in practice, that is what is happening. A recent example can be found in the Wonder Woman movie which the director and star admitted that it was a feminist movie. I like the movie. I like Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman. However, they could have left out the negative comments about men and the movie would have still made a lot of money. I can give other examples of feminism's attempt to disempower men. It is one of the main reasons why the Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW) movement has gained followers and popularity. I have resentment against men being treated unfairly by women, but I do not have general resentment towards women. Men are lied about in the workplace by female coworkers and they often get away with it. Sometimes women lie about men to the police which gets them arrested. I'm just stating the truth. You are right pmvines that you can empower yourself without disempowering the other. Well, why don't they? It would be great if that is truly what feminism was.

  • Now I see why all the women you've contacted won't cuddle with you. I wouldnt feel safe, either.

  • [Deleted User]RScarf1 (deleted user)

    That's not true. I have not had any complaints for those I've had sessions with. My opinion is shared by millions of men, so please spare me the BS. It's just an opinion based on what is truly happening in the world. It is not based on fantasy.

  • @RScarf1 My sons mother lied to the police about me, and made accusations that I had abused her and my son for the purpose of trying to separate me from his life. She was unfortunately a sick, manipulative person. But this had nothing at all to do with feminism. If you are wronged by somebody who happens to be a woman, it doesn't make it a systematic disempowerment due to feminism. I don't believe that men can truly be disempowered by women because they are the ones who are systematically disempowered. That sounds an awful lot like when a white person complains about a black person having their rights protected, and shouts reverse racism. doesn't really exist except for in their head.

  • [Deleted User]RScarf1 (deleted user)

    That's unfortunate that happened to you, pmvines, and I sympathize with you. I am not saying that women lying about men is officially part of the feminism movement, although perhaps women feel empowered and justified to lie about men. Lying does happen frequently in the workplace and at home to men in the United States. I don't know if this happens often in other countries. The fact is that women in the United States usually have no qualms regarding lying about men. They don't necessarily have a mental disorder in order to make false accusations, although they could have psychopathic tendencies. In this society, women tend to be believed by law enforcement over a man unless there is some tangible evidence that would give credibility to the man.

  • [Deleted User]AntoineD (deleted user)

    I wonder how we got from the original post to MGTOW, but I guess let's run with it for a second.
    In my eyes, the matter at hand really boils down to everyone wanting their needs met, in the end, in a win-win dynamic.
    I believe, rather than who's side is right or wrong, we can all agree, that we all want to be happy, and that whether or not we are determines the choices we make, the paths we take in life, the outlook we find to make sense for us.
    Anyhow, what really struck me lately in life, was that I saw this almost unbreachable wall between two sides, where the "understanding" and worldviews on both sides make sense, in a way, yet for some reason ( fear, lack of trust and the like ), won't seem to find a way to communicate and translate both side's views to the other side.
    I understand that there can be resentment, or fear, or whatever feeling popping up, but what really matters in my eyes is to be able to express them and communicate what needs aren't being met if this feeling pops up, rather than shut it out and believing there is something "wrong" with feeling a certain way.
    I know in the end, all leads down a path where "win-win" is the only situation that everyone looks for.
    Until this "win-win" happens, though, let us be patient, trusting, while contributing to the best of our abilities to make easier the arrival of said win-win situation, wherever and whatever the form.
    Whoever the person, remember to look for the best in them, the aliveness within them - that's where joy and beauty lay, in my humble opinion.

  • [Deleted User]RScarf1 (deleted user)

    As you stated AntoineD, there could be a lack of trust and I believe that is the case between women and men. I'm for equal rights and equal pay, but men are considered to be part of the problem in society and men are considered to be that no matter who they are or what they believe. The mistreatment of men is downplayed by government and society. I work for the government and went to Human Resources to speak out against a female coworker who was racist towards African-American citizens. After that, her and her friends made up lies about me and even called the police and tried to have me arrested based on her false accusation. Fortunately, there are cameras where I work, so her accusations were proven to be false. It happens a lot in the workplace when women work with men. My employer did not do anything to her. She still has her job. Life is not fair.

  • [Deleted User]AntoineD (deleted user)
    edited September 2017

    I can understand and accept and respect how you feel, if you were to tell me.
    I can see many needs aren't met.
    And of course, I know of many situations where I saw females around me get some advantages that they deserve, because patriarchy, duh.
    I am well aware of much more than I can express sometimes, yet still : I believe no matter what equality or freedom given for everyone, there will still be all sorts of feelings on each side, as long as we might be unable to love ourselves ( first ).

    I accept the feelings and emotions you might go through and I hope, really do, that everything will end up fine for you.
    Trust me, I know situations similar to those you describe, having gone through some bs myself as well - and some where close to hellish in my experience.

    The thing is, I also believe in looking for the best, first and foremost, in anyone.

    This dude survived the Holocaust ( amongst the few of his family who did, apparently ) and yet still, he seems to be saying : "look for the best in any person."
    I know how little ease there is to do just that.
    Turning the other cheek and all.
    But that is what defines nobility and magnanimity.
    Be what the French saying calls the white dow, who is out of reach of the toad's phlegm.
    I fly above, far, far above any pettiness and shine love back at whomever spits at me ( or attempts to, at least ).

    Darkness can't fight darkness - it only creates more of itself.
    You can shine a light of understanding, compassion, trust, unto this other and their behaviour : show the other person what they never saw about themselves, never ever even dreamed possible.

    There is an example in Buddhism, where a man sleeps on a boat, drifting off on a lake.
    Suddenly, another boat bumps into his and water flows over unto him.
    Furious, and ready to fight he jumps up and realizes the other boat is empty : the tide took it right next to his.
    Laughing, he lays back down and keeps on sleeping.
    A person is different from their behaviour : meaning, that whether or not a person was in the boat, the result would be the same : he would be wet, scared, awake - out of an enjoyed moment of sleep.
    Whether a person or no one did that to him doesn't change the facts.
    In one case, in the case there was a person aboard the other boat, he would fight.
    In the other, he just lays back down and sleeps.
    As if there was something inherently "wrong" with people.

    People are different from their behaviour.
    A bit like the boat with the tide, a person attacking you is like a stick in the hands of anger itself - different from who they are, to be treated gently but firmly with determination, but truly seeing that the other is different from the behaviour that might control them into blindness at times.

    Easier said than done.
    I wish you the best, and hope you are at ease at the work environment.
    Karma is going to "hit back" at those women and already does.
    Karma also brings back "unfairness" to whomever instigates or allows it ( like your bosses ).

    In a sense, they are creating their own suffering world.
    Better off having as little to do with them as you can - their "energy" drags them down, in a way.
    If you let yourself being dragged along, well, you might learn that you can and should avoid those places and people ( as much as possible ).
    On the long-run, no one's worse off than those women and the company - in a sense - trust me.
    Though I wish them to "learn their lessons" in compassion, understanding and empathy before doing themselves more damage at the core, in their essence and soul.
    How heart-breaking to see people destroy themselves.
    In a way, they "punish" themselves by being those people one can't stand and no one wants to deal with.
    What's a 100 year lifespan if empty of the basics, like love, compassion, support, company, community, a sense of belonging and so on and so forth ?

    Being angry, Buddha said, is like picking up burning wood from a fire to cast it unto the so-called enemy, and achieve nothing more than burning oneself.
    As for revenge : he spoke of it as drinking poison and expecting the other to drop dead.

    No ease to give any answer in any cases.
    You're better than that, to give in to fear, stress, despair.
    I wish you all the best.
    A hug to you,
    and perhaps watching the Vice-documentary on Wim Hof might teach you a thing or two ( it did for me in similar circumstances to the ones you speak of ).
    By the way, the Wim Hof Method is to be approached only once all the safety requirements to engage in the activity are met.
    Be well.
    PS : allowing room for trust is allowing the other person's full personality to express and unfold under your eyes ( male or female, regardless ).
    That's what I wish for you to learn to do ( if you want to ).
    I see this competence as a gift to self and others, where self-respect and respect inter-twine.
    Trust is a process, Rome wasn't built over night either - like any worthwhile, long-term goals.

  • [Deleted User]AntoineD (deleted user)

    If you want to go about "changing the world", there is the saying by Gandhi "be the change you wish to see in the world" ( if you want to see more trust, love for example, be trust and love ).
    Other than that, Socrates said : "The Secret of Change Is to Focus All of Your Energy, Not on Fighting the Old, But on Building the New."
    Here's a tool for building the new relationship to yourself and to other men and women on the long-run ( if you are interested ), the following video,

    Hope this is of some support.
    With those informations you might be able to find amazing cuddle-experiences and see them through a completly new light.

  • [Deleted User]Frankincense (deleted user)
    edited September 2017

    @RScarf1 @sometimes
    I think RScarf1 is right about men being disempowered, and his observation of this fact does not make him a scary or untrustworthy person. He is just addressing the reality of it.
    Just last night I was watching another episode of "Unreal" (mainly because I have a thing for Shiri Appleby) and I was surprised by something I saw in this episode. Shiri's character Rachel got into an argument with her former boyfriend Jeremy, who challenged her with "if you want to demote me, demote me to my face!", at which point she elbowed him in the face and broke his nose. He then responded by giving her a back-hander across her face. One of the show's male executives witnessed this and pulled him off Rachel, threw him out the door, and fired him on the spot. Later, the show's female executive Quinn came to see Jeremy specifically because she was pissed off at what he'd done to Rachel. Jeremy explained that Rachel had hit him in the face first and broke his nose. Quinn, the female executive, replied "she's only 5 foot 2 Jeremy, no excuse, EVER!" Then, when Quinn starts walking away, he tells her that Rachel stole her show (displaced her as executive), so Quinn walks back to Jeremy and grabs him tightly by the crotch (violent sexual assault!) and as she holds him like that she challenges him "What do you want to do Jeremy, hit me? Does that get you off, hitting women?" (In all episodes so far, Jeremy had never been portrayed as a violent person or hitter of women.) Then, after she lets go of his balls she says "Next time, I'm cutting them off."

    So, this show's message to its audience is that even if a woman violently assaults a man and damages his body, this is no excuse for the man to defend himself in any way. Not even a back-hander across the face is justified when a woman breaks your nose. But it's OK for a woman to grab and squish a man's testicles and threaten to cut them off.
    Men are simply expected to put up with this bad behaviour from women because, apparently, being men they are just always at fault in some way.

    Incidentally, you may remember Lorena Bobbitt who cut her husband's penis off in a fit of rage. She was later received as a heroine guest on Sharon Osbourne's talk show, receiving a standing ovation from the audience. Then the female guests of Sharon sat around a table joking about the whole incident, with Sharon herself saying she wouldn't have just thrown the cut-off penis away on the grass, she'd have tossed it into the garbage disposer and watched it swirl around in there as it got chopped up. (Lots of hooting and laughter from the all-female audience.) Only one of Sharon's female guests had the decency to carefully suggest that perhaps they shouldn't joke about this because if the genders were reversed they wouldn't find this funny at all.
    Yes indeed, can you imagine the outrage if there was a tv programme where men sat around joking and applauding each other about how one of them cut off his wife's genitalia for some reason?

    The MGTOW movement is raising awareness of these kinds of issues, and how men are being disempowered in many ways. The feminist movement is largely responsible for shifting society's beliefs about and attitudes towards men, and movies and tv programmes are some of the channels through which they spread their poison. And as a result, men are more and more isolated. Ironically, this increased isolation may actually lead to the behaviours (like rape or violence) that the feminists want to eliminate.

    Men are basically good people, especially if they've got loving women in their lives. Demonising them would only create a self-fulfilling prophecy.

  • [Deleted User]AntoineD (deleted user)
    edited September 2017

    I see the outrage.
    I feel the burn within, deep, when reading this.
    At the same time, what can one do when in a society that values child-like behaviour as the moral compass on the front ( media portraying being dumb as the new "cool" ) while people behind the scenes leave stuff as it is just for a more obedient crowd.
    Well, I'm a bit into a sort of conspiracy theory at this point.
    I go too far, I know.
    Still, what I mean to say is that we are dealing with never challenged views as to what makes a certain role 'tick' a certain way.
    In a sense, I trust in the fact, that every person, as an individual will, eventually go through a form of maturity, which is brought about by a large amount of challenges and situations that are to be handled with a clear mind and a lot of awareness and presence.
    Traditionally, this was linked to a "male" role, where the man would go out and "take care" of the family, by confronting himself to all sorts of situations, toughening up in the process and being somewhat learned a form of "humility" by the external circumstances.
    It's a bit like sports, nowadays : if on the judo-matt I am acting careless, I get thrown about by the one I team up with to train.
    Same goes with life in general, when confronted with certain types of challenges.
    Anyhow, if I now am being solely confronted with internal affairs, like women were for many centuries, the "conditioning" occurring really doesn't match up the "external" factors.
    In a sense, it's like a "child's world" expanding to the whole face of the civilized world - a giant playing ground, where shopping centers really are a part of the overall picture to give an illusion of breaking free by contributing to the very fabric of the production-oriented society, that tries to keep at bay the fears that might creep in, concerns regarding the roughness of life in its crude and raw forms, outside the box we created for ourselves.

    In a sense, today's men unconsciously perpetuate the cycle by trying to keep up this grand masquerade up, the "protective" instincts being closely linked to how "stable" one appears to be.
    Therefore, in a sense, this "chopping off of testicles and penises" and firing and sexual assault with a total form of impunity is a "lord of the flies scenario", where the harshness of the world starts to dawn on women who start to see the veil, yet not knowing how to uncover what they can sense yet not quite grasp, dis-covering still means going to "the man" in any given situation ( symbolic of the penis ) and hurting "him" in this manner is a bit of a teenage-like rebellious attitude to whomever doesn't quite get that violence is the first form of expression, way before the ability to create, consciously, what is society in its entirety.
    It is a form of "coming of age" story, that takes place with a lot of hidden resentment towards what isn't understood, therefore feared.
    What is cut off isn't the dick, it is the "symbol" of what lays beyond it, the great unknown.
    It's Nietzsche's "God is dead, and we killed him" and the madness that struck him.

    One can go about a situation that is unknown, free of fears, full of love, learning therefore to see with the heart rather than with the eyes.
    Rather than the "man", what is feared is the message - therefore the messenger can be "harmed" along the way.

    "The truth shall set you free, but not until it is finished with you." did I read somewhere on the internet.
    Partial truths, are missing the point, therefore leading to a form of violence.

    It seems like women are terrified by what was, for centuries, men's daily bidding.
    Now that is being seen how harsh the transition from one view to the other might be, well, of course terror might creep in.
    And people who are scared can lose all sense of hope and stability, in certain cases.
    It really goes to show what men really went through, now that the other half of humanity catches up with "leading positions" and places in academia, the media and the like.
    Scapegoats are there to reassure one in front of enormous fears and sufferings.
    Not excusing any behaviour, it puts into perspective the enormous violence, hidden, that might still be there to deal with eventually.
    When the day comes, well, I hope I and everyone else, will be ready to be more present, conscious and aware than ever.
    After so much pain, for generations : losing limbs in wars, friends in harsh environments, seeing how little their life mattered, now that there is this strife for equality, of course men want to opt out and finally find some rest and ease.
    Thing is : the task at hand still is to be taken into consideration, until accomplished : meaning that empathy and love and caring and presence for scared males and females is to be presented as the ultimate form of love.
    Far from easy and quite dangerous at that, but the only way to move forward as one community.

    What we all see common to one another is our ability to feel, need, to go through emotions.
    Let's work on what binds us, rather than on what separates us, this is the way to be happy, I believe, the way to find true peace and to life fully, with ease, freely and to carry on the hope unto other generations.

    If sexuality is what separates us, then it ends up being THE weapon used as the only means for "power".
    Yet, betting what separates is always short-lived as a strategy to cope with any given situation.
    We need to start learning from one another, rather than fearing.
    We need to find ways to express our darkest sides, and meet the other's with light, clarity and present conscious awareness.
    That's the way to heal all the wounds, and we all are wounded - since any war ( be it the war of the sexes, or any other ) takes a toll on everyone involved.
    Unless there is a "win-win" situation, we all lose out, eventually.

    I say all of this, while still believing in a need to be firm in the face of violences like the ones you describe, while pulling away from any form of violence at the same time : a thin line to walk and an act unlike any I know of, one that requires competences beyond anything else, so much so that I am overwhelmed by even starting to think on the matter.

  • [Deleted User]RScarf1 (deleted user)

    Thank you Frankincense for your understanding about this issue. It is happening in all forms of media. Marvel Comics is also pushing this agenda which is now causing sales of their comic books to decline. People do not want to be force fed what to believe when they buy comics for entertainment. They changed some of the Marvel characters to different races and genders when what they could have done is created new characters and not have changed the classic characters that we grew up with. I have no problem with diversity, but this was the wrong way to do it. Also, the stories try to promote Social Justice Warrior (SJW) topics such as feminism which is a turn off to most of the people who buy comics. DC Comics is not nearly as bad as Marvel with this agenda, although a few comments were in the Wonder Woman movie that should not have been there. Television shows have portrayed men as idiots such as Homer Simpson and Al Bundy. It is acceptable in today's culture to portray men like this on TV. When men stand up for themselves like I did at my job, then the women made up lies to show themselves as the victims. In other words, their retaliation is disguised as discipline because the person I was complaining about was my manager and she had the power to write whatever false accusations she wanted to and she also got other coworkers to do the same. Therefore, more people against me made it harder to be believed, especially when it was a few women against one man. I had to hire a lawyer and I got transferred to another building, but the government did me no favor even though that is what they told me. In other words, they made it seem like I did not deserve to be transferred. They said that it was a favor to me because I requested it. However, I was a victim of a gender based hostile work environment for a few years. This was just the straw that broke the camel's back. My employer was really afraid of being sued because I had a lot of evidence and a lawyer. In the past, my employer twice rejected my complaints when I sent letters to the department that handled these kind of complaints. If I was a woman and men were against me, I would have been transferred immediately and I would not have needed to hire a lawyer. There definitely is a double standard. I believe in karma, but I still do not forgive them. Regarding the forum, I know that when someone has a different opinion than others, that person could be accused of being evil or unsafe to be around. It is a method to shut them up and to make them feel inferior for having these opinions.

  • [Deleted User]AntoineD (deleted user)

  • Honestly there's a lot of text so I skimmed and didn't read everything, but thanks for the shares. It's important to note that just because some men/women act this way, not all do.

    And I agree that just because your opinion is different, it doesn't make it wrong or the person unsafe. Rather, it's good to hear people's experiences and reflect on them, as it's true that there shouldn't be double standards, whether one story made have it in favor of men and one of women, it's important to see where unfair treatment is happening, so we can recognize and avoid it in the future.

  • [Deleted User]AntoineD (deleted user)

    What matters to me, is - in the end - to find a win-win situation according to the needs of every sentient involved in any given situation.

  • @Frankincense IMHO the man who hit the woman after he was hit was not defending himself, he was retaliating. I agree that he was very wrong to hit her or any other woman for any reason other than active self defence. I was taught that a man should never hit a woman for any reason, and I have taught my own kids the same way. I had thought that was what everyone was taught. I guess I was super wrong, considering all the battered women in the world. Yes, once in a while, a man will be battered by a woman, but nowhere near as many as the other way around.

    @RScarf1 If you stated your opinions as opinions, rather than as fact, you probably wouldn't receive so much resistance. Once you even said that your opinion was based on facts, but the facts you referred to was just your opinion that it was facts, at least that is the way I see it.

    @AntoineD I should probably put this more delicately, but I think you talk way too much. By the time I finish one of your wordy posts, It has lost all meaning because by then I no longer remember what the first part of what you wrote was. You don't indicate who you are responding to, which also makes what you are trying to say hard to understand. In addition you use references, such as Lord Of The Flies, that not everyone is familiar with, thus making your story even more cloudy.

    <3 Jim

  • [Deleted User]Frankincense (deleted user)
    edited October 2017

    @I_am_Polylover
    If you hit a guy, would you expect to get hit back? Surely you would, right? Why is it OK for a guy to retaliate against another guy, but not against a woman? Women can be just as dangerous: they'll use long fingernails, keys, a brick in a handbag, or even stilletto heels to inflict severe damage (potentially fatal damage) to a guy. How can a guy be sure that the first hit that breaks his nose will be the only one? The only way to be sure is to hit back hard so as to stop the attacker. You call it retaliation, I call it self-defense. Even if it is retaliation, it is fair enough I reckon. No-one should be immune from painful consequences when they attack another person. Women wanted equality. Not getting special "soft" treatment because you're a girl is part of that equality. Women RELY on this chivalry in men, trusting that they'll not get hit back, while they rage out of control and pummel the guy. And even though guys are often (but not always) stronger, this attitude that a guy should never ever hit a woman back has essentially made men the weaker sex: They're powerless to defend themselves against an aggressive woman, especially when there are other people around, because there will always be some dumb White Knights to jump in to "protect" the girl by savagely attacking the guy on her behalf - merely because he dared to defend himself. But those same White Knights did nothing to stop her from attacking him in the first place.
    I'm not saying guys should be trigger-happy to beat up women, but if a woman starts beating a guy because he was late picking her up, or because she suspects him of cheating, or because of some other reason that makes her feel entitled to punish him physically, then she ought to accept that her violent actions may have equally violent consequences. Anything less and you're effectively saying she's neither a responsible adult nor a competent capable adult, but just a weak little girl who needs protecting and shielding. And that's not equality.

  • Reason why you shouldn't hit a woman is because often times the brute force will be more, so it is not a fair fight. My ex wife had hit me, kicked, scratched, etc, and I didn't ever feel I needed to hit back. I would restrain, push her away, and leave, but never hit back. Perhaps I am a bit old fashioned in that regard. It is one thing if a weapon is involved, or if you are being over powered, however this is not typically the case. Don't hide behind equal rights as a means to have an excuse to hit a woman. Does not make you a man.

  • I find these comments really refreshing. I am an unknowing mgtow in my thirties. I've had a few serious relationships where I felt my partners were more interested in getting married and having children quickly to satisfy societal pressures, rather than because it was something we both wanted, were prepared for, and doing consciously. I narrowly avoided being married for this reason. Some women and men, through manipulation and indirect pressure are very good at convincing you you want something, when they know in your heart, you don't. Guilting and shaming is also used. How rare are the man and woman who are able to see, hear the other person and honor who they are, where they are, and make their own choices based on that, rather than forcing their will directly or indirectly on the other. Factors in society have made men and women enemies, when really we are best friends. Technology disconnects us further and further everyday while claiming to do the opposite. Roles are now confused. What is the man's role? What is the women's role? Congratulations, you now can both have two jobs to try to support your household. Is it still ok if I hold the door open for you? I know you can do it on your own, I just wanted to open it for you to make ur life a little easier for a moment. Most of us are in pain, after accumulation of generations of pain. I am in pain. I was beaten and abused by narcissistic parents, and after years of improvement, regaining my mind and emotions healing, still am not totally in touch with my body. Feeling has become outlawed. Touch outlawed. I do feel ugly for being a male and shameful for wanting and needing to be touched. Touch is a very important need, like food, water, shelter. What we are avoiding is what we need to heal. Connecting on an intimate level, being there for others creates long lasting happiness, everything else just temporarily numbs our pain. Cool to see people recognizing and addressing these issues and not just going along with being unconscious.

  • I would never hit another guy, so no, I wouldn't expect to be hit back.
    @pmvines Being old fashioned in this particular area is a good thing as far as I am concerned. I am pretty old fashioned myself in several areas.
    <3 Jim

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