are you more or less likely to cuddle with a pro if they email you?

NYCCuddlerNYCCuddler
edited March 2022 in General

not a huge thing but I kind of get put off if a pro reaches out to me and offers a cuddle or even just says hi I like your profile. it's hard to tell if there's sincerity or just looking for biz. Nothing wrong with either..it's a free country (here in USA) but I'm usually less likely to reach out for a cuddle if that happens.

Anyone else have similar or different feelings?

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Comments

  • cuddles_ndreamcuddles_ndream
    edited March 2022

    less likely, for the reasons you’ve mentioned, although I have pros as friends in my messages that have nothing to do with trying to book a session, that I would so love to cuddle or chill with (book a session) if I’m ever around their way.

  • GallowglassGallowglass

    If a traveling therapist is coming to my town and they want to do the work, to check in, more power to them.
    It's not hard for me to say, no thanks. As it happens, I said yes to one of these for next month. Variety is spice.
    If someone were to keep asking, that would creep me out.

  • RezzRezz

    Speaking from a pro standpoint I never cold message. I have heard from numerous people I've cuddled that there's pros here who are aggressive, pushy and see their clients as cash cows. They will cold message them that they are traveling to x city and to "book now with a deposit" literally hours after these guys have signed up and are still figuring out the nature of the site. It's gross, impersonal and makes us pros look unprofessional.

    For 3 of these guys it turned them away from the site completely and I don't blame them for leaving based on spammy cold messaging tactics.

    So I understand your hesitation to book with them based on the sense of insincerity.

    For me, I do occasionally reach out if a profile stands out to me in terms of a mutual interest which I will mention in my message or as a way to welcome them to the site, but I don't do it with an agenda to book anyone, if and when they want to, they usually find me on their own 🤗
    I will say some guys here are painfully shy and think to send us a message on their own that we are requiring a booking based on the "request to book" button. The only way to the break the ice is for one of us to step forward and make a polite introduction.

  • KozyKimKozyKim

    i say hi to new cuddlers that visit my site. I have never reached out to anybody that has not already visited my profile. I honestly don’t do this for the money if I had the time and didn’t have to work another job, I would probably be in enthusiast. But I usually just say welcome to Cuddle comfort. You may think it’s creepy for us to reach out, but what else is creepy is someone visiting your profile once a week but never messages you. 😬

  • applepie55applepie55

    @KozyKim same. I tend to say hello to those who visit my profile a few times but don’t reach out. I’ll usually say something like, “thanks for stopping by! Let me know if you have any questions.” Maybe mention mutual interests if there. I never cold message other users though.
    I understand how some may be put off by that.

  • cuddles_ndreamcuddles_ndream

    @Rezz you bring up great reasons why -I- personally, wish people were notified when you favorite them.

  • KozyKimKozyKim

    @Rezz That’s a good point about your last paragraph that they may think that if they message you they have to book.

    I also agree I don’t message them to try to get them to book with me I’m just being friendly. I actually suggest other professionals sometimes that are closer to them. Or I suggest cuddle parties. I think if I was an enthusiast I would love to have a professional cuddler contact me. I have been ignored sending messages and that’s OK that just means the person is not interested.

  • KozyKimKozyKim

    @applepie55 I think what you say is perfect. The very extroverted, guys are not afraid to message you, but there’s a lot of shy guys out there that have been beat up a lot verbally. They need a kind person reaching out to them.

    Besides that I bet you will all agree that they have been very appreciative when we reach out.

  • Sheena123Sheena123
    edited March 2022

    Yea, I only message those that look at my profile. It’s already been mentioned about shy guys and honestly, a lot have thanked me that I initiated. I don’t push sessions though. That’s definitely cold. I say hey and if they have questions, don’t be shy. Ask away. And I even say in my message that there’s no pressure to book, that I love to just chat. And through saying that, I’ve had so many start chatting with me and some I’ve even chatted with for years! lol. Never pushed a cuddle, even once. I answer questions, I chat with them and if they ever decide they do want a cuddle, that’s on them.

    So I totally agree cold calling just takes the connection out completely. My cuddlers aren’t cash cows. These people are touch starved and/or looking for an amazing connection.

  • MorpheusMorpheus

    I don’t mind if anyone reaches out to me

  • Nature_Lover_Nature_Lover_

    Definitely following this thread for responses. 😊

    If I have time and energy I love to reach out when someone has viewed my profile. A number of people have told me they wouldn’t have felt comfortable reaching out and while some become clients, some become friends. I welcome messages even when there is no intent to book - many clients have expressed that messaging helps them determine if they’d like to book. Others have told me they would have never struck up conversation had I not first said hello. I don’t message and ask someone to book a session, or if they might want to book or anything like that, typically it’s a hey there, followed by actual conversation about as @Rezz stated, something we might have in common, or just a friendly, good vibes kinda message cause let’s face it, I’m a hippy at heart. My approach to all things cuddle has been evolving as I learn and grow and I’m definitely open to feedback and looking forward to everyone’s answers. This is a great thread for newer pros / paid cuddlers such as myself who would love to know the ideal way to make conversation but also not imply any pressure to book.

    When I travel I have in the past reached out to pros in the area to try and connect and this had led to some amazing friendships, networking, and adventures. Also fully respect not everyone has time for networking or messaging.

    😊✌️

  • mc_quiettimemc_quiettime

    I see nothing wrong with a pro sending a ‘hello’ or greeting message, especially if it’s after they noticed that I viewed their profile. If I was on the fence about scheduling with them for whatever reason, it might actually prompt me to do so if it’s a friendly message. To be honest, I haven’t received any pushy or aggressive messages from any pro, they’ve all been pretty cool.

  • Mela_BMela_B
    edited March 2022

    I personally message people all the time just to say hi or that I am like their profiles, and I really want to stress that if I don't mention booking, I am absolutely NOT trying to get business. I don't really have to message people to find business - they write me constantly.

    I'm just extremely friendly, outgoing, extroverted, and kind, and try to spread kindness around.

  • NYCCuddlerNYCCuddler

    You know I guess it's all in the "how" you do it and how often. I have two friends who are pros and a 3rd one in the application process. I think if people are being polite and friendly a hello is totally fine.

    Some people could use some improvement in how and how often and I have a guy who lives in my building who's slightly older than me and he's on here too and he says that "sometimes" he feels that pros reach out to him thinking he's an easy client or something..he purposely dresses down in his profile photos to not show how well off he is, but that doesn't always help and the guy is a true gentlemen and recently retired.

    For the most part I think the people who read and contribute on the forums here are not the problem and thanks to all who have reached out directly!

  • cuddleversedcuddleversed

    For me there is no hard and fast rule but I don’t mind anybody contacting me, it doesn’t annoy me even if it’s pros looking for business, I don’t see anything wrong with that, that’s why they’re here so it comes with the territory so to speak.

    A while ago a well known pro (in the forum and lots and lots of karma) contacted me and initiated a casual conversation but I knew by looking at her profile that she was gonna be visiting my town soon so after a few messages with small talk she said that she was going to be in town to which I replied with : I know, I’ve read your profile.
    Her reply, well, if you wanna book a session let me know and never heard from her again. I had no intention of booking with her at all but I responded to her messages because I always do even though it was obvious to me the conversation was a pretext to see if I’d book a session.

    Fast forward to recently and a traveling pro also messaged me to say hello and I forgot to answer. Once she was in town she messaged again and she said to me : well I guess you don’t like to answer messages, which I thought was pretty cute and it made me laugh so we started talking and we had a couple of wonderful sessions while she was in town and we now chat regularly and I’d call her a friend.

    So there are all kinds of situations and all of them are unique. I don’t mind pros contacting me looking for business or to chat or whatever, I’ll always reply and might even book a session, it’s all about the connection and if it’s there I’d love to book a cuddle.

  • ShaneSchruteShaneSchrute

    I’m open to pros messaging me; especially if they’re responding to me looking at their profile.

    If you look at from the other side of this equation; it feels weird to me to message pros when I’m not 100% ready to book right now. I’d have to click a button that says, “request to book” it doesn’t say “have a nice chat” it says ‘sign up now.’ So I appreciate pros who are okay with chatting to start the conversation. The profile of a pro on this site hasn’t been designed to encourage idle chat from clients, it’s design to encourage booking appointments.

    I get that pros and women get inundated with messages so that design is probably there to discourage noise and increase signal. So I’m not knocking the design. So it makes sense to me that pros contact me after I visit them.

  • Sheena123Sheena123

    @Syins 👏👏👏

  • CambridgeGuyCambridgeGuy

    Yes

  • me2me2

    Yeah I have actually appreciated a number of people who’ve reached out especially the way @Rezz describes. I’ve made some friends this way as well :)
    People traveling who might be in my area also make sense.
    The really off putting ones are the ones not labeled as pros but then block you when you say you’re not interested in paying lol.

    @Syins i get what you’re saying about pros getting idle chats and I know that’s a thing from other forums, but I still feel the opposite. If I’m gonna actually pay for cuddling (as opposed to mutual cuddles) the price is the same as seeing a therapist and I want someone who is willing to take a little time to make sure we’re a good fit and they can provide the therapy I’m looking for.
    Another reason (the part I agree about) that I don’t mind when pros reach out in a way that feels like genuine connection.

    The knowing when someone visits you thing can make things different too. I think it makes sense to say hi if someone’s been looking at your profile. Like when someone enters a little store and the person behind the counter says hi.
    If I’ve checking out a profile a few times I sometimes feel like a gotta say hi just so it’s not creepy 😂

  • ForTheSnugglesForTheSnuggles

    100% happy to have a pro (or enthusiast for that matter) reach out to me. In fact, I’d greatly prefer it vs me having to reach out and message someone who likely already has a very full inbox, and I’ve even added a note to my profile to encourage anyone who visits it to reach out. I don’t really understand anyone who doesn’t want others to reach out to them - the whole point of this site is to make connections with other humans! Sure, no one should be pushy, but that goes just as much for the client as for the pro, regardless of who reaches out first, right?

  • KozyKimKozyKim
    edited March 2022


    This is my first message to him and there was a bunch of messages in between. But this was his last message. He was very happy that I reached out to him because I told him it’s not about me cuddling him it’s about him getting a good experience it could be me or someone else. But obviously he’s on the side to get cuddles. because he was brand new he didn’t know what to expect.

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    I wouldn't mind. I enjoy getting mail.

  • HollydollhugsHollydollhugs

    I reach out and say hello to people that visit my profile only. Pros, non pros, men and women alike, just to be polite and not to get business. I’ve made some really great friendships this way that are probably going to be life long. I don’t think it is a good idea for pros to target new members just to get business. That seems very pushy and I could see the new people that join getting the wrong idea about how this works.

  • TheDave90TheDave90

    I certainly wouldn't mind. I'm pretty hopeless at starting conversations online in general so it'd help ha :p

  • MorpheusMorpheus
    edited March 2022

    Here’s an example of a pro that messaged me. I don’t usually share stuff like this but it’s not overly personal and I’m not saying her name. She obviously read my profile from end to end and is asking me questions about myself. She lives out of state so I would likely not see her at least anytime soon. This to me is very nice and very sweet. Now let’s see how many comments follow, about feet 🤣

    @Morpheus - flag them. Report them. This is a mondo Heck to the No, Do Not Pass Go, kind of "Pro." [-Sid]

  • RezzRezz

    @me2 please report those unmarked pros trying to charge you! The mods are happy to swiftly take care of them.

  • [Deleted User]Moxytocin (deleted user)

    @Morpheus if that first part is a pro, she's a pro something, all right... "Certain parts" wink wink Sorry, I'm as much of a dirty-minded flirt as the next person in my personal life, but talking suggestively like that isn't something pros should be doing here.

  • Sheena123Sheena123

    @Moxytocin yea I read it that way as well. It has a very “naughty” vibe to it that doesn’t belong here.

  • RezzRezz

    @Moxy050 and @Sheena123

    Agreed. What's with kissy face emojis + certain parts? Pro or not, it's not giving any platonic vibes. Yuck.
    Surely no one receives these kinds of messages and think for moment that it's platonic.

  • [Deleted User]Moxytocin (deleted user)
    edited March 2022

    @Rezz @Sheena123 I'm assuming they may also be trans (🔥) and prefer being a bottom from a couple other things they said. I only point that out because of the statement that nothing was "overly personal". We might assume the pro is a transwoman, reading between the lines.

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