Do you REALLY love to cuddle? Poll

edawsewedawsew
edited March 2022 in General

Just curious about this, as I’ve had a few conversations with individuals about cuddling before they were a pro (even before pro pending status).

If you pick “Yes,” please explain why. I understand that if you are lacking financially, and getting bombarded with cuddle requests, that it would seem like a lucrative venture. But what about the others. Those who claim to love cuddling so much, even going as far to say it’s one of their favorite things?

Not looking to ripple feathers. Just looking for insight and dialogue ☺️🤗

*** edit ***
I spoke the question out loud a few times and now see why someone could be a bit confused as to what I’m asking.

What I mean:

Say cuddling is someone’s jam. Like, they love it, need it, can’t live without it. They would do it everyday if they could. Would a person that actually (the key word here is actually) feels that strongly about cuddling become a pro?

If you think about it, it’s kind of like an animal rescue. The rescue loves taking in injured, abused, abandoned animals, or animals that need a new home, to help them any way they can. But they don’t charge people to bring them animals. Some may ask for donations. But that’s about it.

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Comments

  • OhioMikeOhioMike

    I am single (5 plus years and counting 😊) and I do honestly love cuddling.

    Have no interest in becoming a professional cuddler simply because I’m too involved in all my other ventures. I think it’s an awesome profession and wish for mountains of success for all the professional cuddlers here. You are all greatly admired 🤗

  • GallowglassGallowglass
    edited March 2022

    Cuddling has been a journey of healing. It is an integral part of my life and some of my friends are pro-cuddlers. Some I met before, and some I met after they became cuddlers.

    I have been cozying-up to the idea of being a pro-cuddler but there are a few things precluding it.

    1) I have past abuse as a child and I am exploring my attitudes after some very significant healing. I want to be sure I have put-to-rest any lingering fear and bias I may still hold-on-to. I want to be confident that I am of healthy mind and heart, before I treat it as a contract/monetary arrangement. As a non-pro, I am exploring lots of different space. I have, "been practicing".

    2) Being friends with cuddlers, and being a "regular" with my preferred cuddler, I have seen how much time, effort, and heart, is required to be a "Great" pro-cuddler. I am working on that mindset and establishing my intent, goals and asperations for the level of care I could provide. Again, I'm practicing.

    3) I don't want to use a pro-cuddler label, to bring more cuddling, "to me". I want to make sure I am doing it for outward reasons that I am comfortable with. I would like the additional cuddling that it might bring. But providing cuddle services is not a place to expect my own needs and desires to be met. That would not be "professional", in my mind.

    I have a ton of respect for both customer and provider, (Edit) and enthusiast. (End Edit).

  • ShaneSchruteShaneSchrute

    No interest in becoming a professional cuddler, but I. Love cuddling.

    I love mountain biking but I’m not becoming a professional mountain biker either. :)

  • DaringSprinterDaringSprinter
    edited March 2022

    Being a pro cuddler would mean I'd have to put the other person's comfort ahead of my own. That doesn't work for me: I'm not good at staying in a position that's less than comfortable for me because it's great for the other guy, never mind doing emotional labor.

    I'd either make a lousy pro or get to hate cuddling. Either way, not ideal! So I like cuddling, I really do. But I'm no pro (and never will be).

    Edit:

    Another consideration is the cost. I mean, what's the point of getting paid to cuddle if the money's going to pay for pillows, blankets, scents, cleanings, gas, hotel rooms... and I've still gotta have another job to pay for rent, electricity, internet, phone, food, and so on? Unless I charged stupid high rates it wouldn't be worth it to me even monetarily, completely ignoring the whole "other person first" issue.

  • MCcuddles2MCcuddles2

    I'm not a pro, but I've had the honor of being the first cuddle for more than a few people. I like creating an environment where people can feel safe and experience an introduction to cuddles in a structured, communicative, consent driven and boundary constrained manner. I also bring my personal flavor of meditative connection to the experience.

    I don't want to be a pro though. I've already got a full time job and I do this for personal fulfillment.

  • edawsewedawsew

    Thanks for the feedback so far! I have the same feeling as most of you. And yes, I love to cuddle! It actually one of my favorite things. For me, whether I’m with a pro or enthusiast, I get just as much fulfillment (if not more) ensuring that they are comfortable and enjoying themselves as well. I’m a naturally lovable and caring person and I always want to express that, especially when sharing an experience as intimate and personal as cuddling. Knowing that what I’m giving back is just as special as what I’m receiving is important to me.

    I would not want to be a pro because I would feel that I may be preventing someone from cuddles because they couldn’t afford it or they just don’t believe in paying for it. 🤷🏻‍♂️

  • OhioMikeOhioMike

    I think we are fortunate here that so many pros recognize that costs can be a barrier and have come up with all kinds of creative ways to make sure costs are not a barrier. So many work with clients here. It’s very commendable and warms this guys heart to see it 💛

  • girl50girl50

    I really love cuddling!!!!! Its my favorite thing to do!!!!! But I would not be interested in being A pro!!!!! I think it's kinda dangerous for a female!!!!!

  • edawsewedawsew

    @Gallowglass you say it would “bring in more cuddles.” I respectfully disagree. That goes for both women and men. First, men don’t get nearly as many cuddles as women. If we started going pro, we’d get even less (And I’m not talking about paying for a pro to add to your numbers). Second, many women pros get lots of cuddle requests and do well, but those same individuals would have triple the amount if they weren’t a pro. So, no. If I went pro, I would not get an influx of cuddle requests.

    So what makes a pro a pro? Because they took classes and got certified and decided to monetize those skills? Or is it just because they charge a rate for cuddles? I wholeheartedly say it’s only a label and cuddling with a pro is no different than cuddling with an enthusiast. I have read a ton of Karmas from pro and non-pro and non- “cuddle educated” pros alike. The non-pros and non-educated pros have just as many raving 5-star reviews. It’s just that, for the average person, it’s not viable to keep throwing down money for something that should ultimately be free… IF, everyone LOOOVES to cuddle.

  • edawsewedawsew

    @OhioMike great to hear!

  • GallowglassGallowglass

    That's a bit of a twist but OK. Have a great day.

  • MCcuddles2MCcuddles2
    edited March 2022

    I mean maybe they love to cuddle, and they do cuddle without payment, but not with everyone.

    Kind of sounds like OP is upset that many pros do not want to cuddle with them without a monetary incentive.

  • GallowglassGallowglass

    You get out of it, what you get, because of the expectations you bring to it.
    If you think a cuddle is a cuddle, then that's what you are going to get.
    You are going to expect it to be a two-way benefit and that you are doing the other person, as big a favor as they are doing you. That's not true.

    With a professional cuddler, (professional, meaning they take responsibility for creating and holding a safe space for you), you get huge benefits that simply don't exist between most enthusiasts:

    • Boundaries - Fixed boundaries allow you freedom to exist in a framework of clear expectations. You don't have to wonder, guess, or even think about what the other person is getting out of it.

    • It allows you to receive, without obligation to reciprocate (which might happen anyway). You don't have to trade. If you need what you need, you can express it and not have to pay-it-back by taking attention from whatever you are going through. (your reciprocity is created through your willingness to contract a session)

    • Some people are very insightful, and skilled, in helping you sort through your stuff. This is more likely to happen with a person who has seen a variety of people, who has taken it as a responsibility to be gentle, firm, respectful, to not take your stuff personal. Their experience can give them many tools, which they can share with you in a very therapeutic outcome.

    Your expectations control what you get out of a session. Your truth or belief about cuddling either opens up, or closes-down the potential benefits.

    Cuddling as a hobby, as an income, or as a pursuit of need, are valid in each situation but it is not the same for every person. No two people are going to have the same feelings about it. Ultimately it's all about your feelings. Don't project them on other people as a statement of fact.
    This isn't a statement about cuddling but about life in general. Don't expect to hear what you want from everyone. Don't expect that you can understand or relate to something like cuddling, the same as other people. And don't project your ideas of right or wrong, onto things you can't possibly understand from another persons point-of-view.

  • edawsewedawsew

    @MCcuddles2 far from it my friend 😊 Definitely not upset. But you are free to judge and have an opinion about me without knowing me. I’m very inquisitive and observant. I like to ponder. I am a Pisces after all. ♓️

  • MCcuddles2MCcuddles2

    Ah, ok, sorry to jump to conclusions. Internet misunderstandings are so easy and unnecessarily escalate very quickly.

  • sillysassysillysassy

    @edawsew This is so interesting..... I can't really tell if you're trying to ask enthusiasts if they want to stay enthusiasts or if women in general all want to become a Pro. I don't want to assume anything.... if I am missing the mark I would love it if you would maybe add more clarifying words.

    OMGOSH!!!! I COMPELTELY ALIGN AND RELATE TO THIS STATEMENT.... hahahhahahaha
    You just said "I’m very inquisitive and observant. I like to ponder. I am a Pisces after all. ♓️" Literally as I'm writing all of my ponderings and curiosities... hahahha

    Welcome to the site!!

    like @OhioMike said

    I am single (5 plus years and counting 😊) and I do honestly love cuddling.
    Have no interest in becoming a professional cuddler simply because I’m too involved in all my other ventures. I think it’s an awesome profession and wish for mountains of success for all the professional cuddlers here. You are all greatly admired 🤗

    I have a similar mindset.... I do really love cuddling.... As in the ACTUAL touching part of cuddling, but what I appreciate and value even more are the connections that I get to make in this community of people looking for "just cuddles"

    When people are here for the reasons that are specified on the site i.e. "not looking to date members or hopeful for sexual relationships" then it fits in with a fantastic part of my life. I get to have closeness with these people without an expectation of the romantic relationships... Similar to your statement that you are looking for "regular affection and cuddles since I decided to stop dating for awhile and work on self care, as well as focus more on my kids and career. I’m not used to being alone, so the loneliness gets a bit overwhelming at times."

    I guess the question that came up to my mind is would you have a desire to be a pro with a "pro bono" offering like some here suggested? Maybe my mind is fuzzy today but I'm desperately trying to understand the question... with little success... sorry!!

    I would not want to be a pro because I would feel that I may be preventing someone from cuddles because they couldn’t afford it or they just don’t believe in paying for it. 🤷🏻‍♂️

    The other confusing part is the TITLE and the POLL

    Do you REALLY love to cuddle/Poll
    Would you REALLY become a pro (Emphasis mine)

  • [Deleted User]TheZeroEffect (deleted user)
    edited March 2022

    I've had some pro's who gave me the vibe they definitely did it way more for the money then just liking cuddling. So now I'm always suspicious as in is this person just super good at faking it or do they really honestly just love cuddling?

  • OhioMikeOhioMike

    @sillysassy some really good points. I’m hoping for the clarification you mentioned also 😊

    @dpl good point! Like , I’ve done the same job for 30 years. I wish I could say I’m as passionate about my job as I was when I started all those years ago . So I guess I’m “super good at faking it” in that aspect.

    I always tell people I don’t love my job as much as I’m just really really good at it. I don’t think my customers are too concerned with my love for the industry as much as …did I show up and get the job done! I suppose I could see pros feeling like that after awhile .🤔 idk.

  • edawsewedawsew

    @Gallowglass I’m curious as to how you think I’m projecting my feelings on to others 🧐 I’m pretty sure I used “I” when speaking about feelings. And I should have used more modal adverbs, perhaps 😉

    I never said a cuddle is a cuddle. I only used cuddle as a general term to cover all types of cuddling. For me it’s an experience. Not all feel the same. And I won’t cuddle with just anyone. I know it’s different for everyone. Never said it wasn’t.

    Anyway, I believe you are over complicating what I’m trying to say, though I do really appreciate your insightful response. Now I’m going what I’m going to say is really going to blow your mind…

    • You talk about boundaries. Enthusiasts don’t have them? Forgive me, but this statement is ridiculous. Have you cuddled with all the enthusiasts? Do you know all of them personally? I had pros in my favorites just in case I want to reach out to them. Guess what? When I clicked on some of them, their profile was no longer there. It said they were banned. I wonder what for? 🤔

    • I can agree that it allows someone to receive without obligation to reciprocate. Although, isn’t seeing that person your cuddling getting what they wanted sometimes enough? Why isn’t a cuddle enthusiast that truly cares about people aloud to do this?

    • This last one is a terrible generalization. What makes you think that just because someone isn’t a pro they don’t have these same characteristics? Crazy talk man. There are a boatload of pros that are still new, and some that are very young (I only pointvthis out because they are more likely to not have enough life experiences yet). How do YOU gauge who knows more than someone else? If you say by Karma, I say not good enough. While they may have been doing everything right to get all that good Karma, there are still people out there that are still trying to either get their first cuddle on here or have a lack of Karma, yet they still know more about interacting with people than that 5-star pro with 50 reviews.

    All I’m saying is that the majority of the active women on CC tend to be pros. And many of those that aren’t pros yet will probably be going pro. Good for you if you prefer pros and can afford to pay for regular cuddle sessions, or when you feel you need one. Even though I did cuddle a pro, I most certainly can’t afford to get regular cuddles that way, which I personally need. Though I have to say, pros tend to be better communicators and easier to plan a cuddle session. ☺️

    I’ve said my piece. I don’t plan on making long comments anymore. Thanks again to everyone that has participated! 🤗

  • edawsewedawsew
    edited March 2022

    @dpl exactly! For me, what I want to get out of a cuddle session is someone who truly wants to cuddle me. If they aren’t into it then I won’t be either. A pro is more likely to be a person not into cuddling and doing it more for the money.

  • edawsewedawsew

    @MCcuddles2 no worries!

  • edawsewedawsew

    @sillysassy we seem very similar! ☺️

    As far as the title, I think it works. Besides, it’s bringing folks in!

    As far as the second to the last quote from me in your post… I basically meant, what if I was a pro, someone found me, and I was the person they wanted to choose, for whatever reason? What if we had talked for awhile and that person believed I would benefit them, but they just couldnt pay?

    You say offer cuddles pro bono sometimes. For instance, if I was a pro that occasionally did it, obviously nobody would know if I offered a free session to someone. But what if the same person I just mentioned never actually reached out to me because I was a pro? I would never have the chance to offer pro bono cuddles and possibly be the person who met those cuddling needs. This goes for any pro that is truly passionate about cuddling.

    Just sayin.

  • sillysassysillysassy

    Well alrighty then. @edawsew Thank you for this thread and trying to discover/discuss/understand different aspects about cuddling.

    I do think there are a lot of different reasons that all genders decide to become pro's and its hard to speculate about "the majority" but after all of the threads about female enthusiasts I think you summed up the general truth that I've seen in the forums...

    pros tend to be...... easier to plan a cuddle session.

    There's benefit and detriment.... fo sho.

  • GallowglassGallowglass

    I don't think I addressed anyone. I think I was generalizing. Sorry, if what I said caused anyone discomfort.

  • sunnysideupsunnysideup

    I do love cuddling, but I’m not sure that I could do it professionally. I’d have to be comfortable cuddling everyone, including men, works have to put up additional boundaries and try to make the focus if the session about them.

  • [Deleted User]porkjelly (deleted user)

    I only applied pro because 1.I thought I'd get declined, and 2.There is little chance of anyone requesting me. Thought why not go pro since no one is going to request me anyways. I love cuddles and am touch starved, I guess I'll just have to make friends and get my cuddles that way since not many cuddlers on here are close by

  • CozyWolfyCozyWolfy

    Id love to cuddle for a living!! I think its super needed in our community and helps people and there mental health.. plus I love to cuddle:)
    But as somone whos still healing from trama and who has a hard time with holding my boundaries I dont think I'm cut out for the job sadly.

  • quixotic_lifequixotic_life

    Skipping prior comments to leave mine first...

    @edawsew ~ I'm a little confused by the questions in your post vs the poll, so I'll answer both.

    Answer to 1. I love cuddling and given the right partner(s) would do it non-stop if it weren't for those pesky bio breaks being necessary (and for having to work to pay bills - bleck).

    Answer to 2. There is no way I would ever be a pro cuddler! Like ever!! Not that anyone would actually pay me for cuddles, but I'm 100% certain I have nowhere near what it takes to deal with all that goes into it. Plus I'm just a bit too selfish and ultimately want things to be 50:50.

    ...okay, I'm off to read the comments of those who posted before me now...

  • MCcuddles2MCcuddles2
    edited March 2022

    If you think about it, it’s kind of like an animal rescue. The rescue loves taking in injured, abused, abandoned animals, or animals that need a new home, to help them any way they can. But they don’t charge people to bring them animals. Some may ask for donations. But that’s about it.

    @edawsew

    You are assuming the pros are interested in rescuing others. Maybe they are rescuing themselves, meaning filling their touch needs, while getting paid for it.

    Like imagine you went to talk therapy, it really helped you, and then the therapist started paying you.

    And then someone comes around and asks you, "do you REALLY love therapy? If you did, you wouldn't be taking payment."

  • KozyKimKozyKim

    Pro cuddling has its ups and downs. Sometimes I would like a more relaxed cuddle, friends could come over for dinner or hang out watch a movie then cuddle. But nobody wants to pay for that.

    So I do have regular friends I’ve cuddle before I became of pro. Which is great. I’ve given out a lot of free cuddles no one has ever asked me but I have selected people to cuddle for free when I just knew the situation was hard to afford. It seems that a lot of people that need the cuddles the most don’t have the money. If I knew everyone was 100% safe and enjoyable, fun and cozy, I would definitely become an enthusiast. But clients taking advantage of you when you’re not getting paid would really make me mad.

    I feel as an enthusiast I would have a lot more traffic on my site and I don’t know if I would have time to answer all the messages and try to figure out how to cuddle that would take up too much time for my regular job. So I believe that no one really pays for cuddles but they do pay for a persons time and attention,

    I haven’t written about this yet, But my client said that he’s an open book and that I could share his story. But him and his wife found me on the site together and she and him hired me together. It was about getting closure from mother issues. All I can say is I had the most amazing experience, feeling so loved, and being able to give such a love, such close platonic cuddles. Really the reason that I got on here. To help people feel loved.
    I am currently at their house because they’ve adopt me as a surrogate mom. His wife said that I changed his life. It’s just what he needed he said. I’m so humble that I got to be someone’s safe space so they can feel hope again.

    So yes I love cuddling people, I love to be close to people I’ve been that way my whole life. I’ve taken care of the elderly and I love to hold them and children and I love to get close to my friends. I even love to get close to strangers. But I do want to feel safe and not like an object, or a replacement for a girlfriend. Even though I put that on my website they seem to forget that. But all over my experience has been good. I’m grateful for professional cuddling.

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