Both the girl and the guy behind the camera sound fake to me.
~ Sunset Snuggles
@JasonCuddles Assuming that she is getting that much work with professional cuddling. I would really like to know from a professional cuddler how much they make on average. People who want any body contact like cuddling typically want sex too. It's typically the way with guys. So I think that finding someone who only wants paid cuddles is very difficult to find.
@FectionKitty I believe that a large proportion of the men on this site are here for what the site advertises. That's only an observation based on my impression of the men who regularly post in the forum. I can speak for myself, and say that I'd be on a different website if I was looking for something other than cuddles.
That said, I'm sure there are some men here who are looking for inappropriate things. It is for their sake that I'm commenting on your statement. I don't want any man to think that it's normal (or typical, as you say) for them to look for "extras" here.
I've found something here that brings healing to my soul, and I want men who push the boundaries to know that they are the outliers here. The moderators do a good job of banning men who demonstrate that they don't understand the meaning of platonic.
@FectionKitty no, it isn't typically the way with guys. Yes sure it happens a lot. But not with almost all the guys on this forum. Or the surprisingly large number of clients who have been raped, suffered childhood sexual abuse, or otherwise have trauma relating to touch. It's not true for a large proportion of younger men who have no sexual experience at all.
It's not true for the vast majority of clients in London. I know very experienced professionals to whom this has happened only a handful of times, and then usually in the form of a nominally respectful request.
Also, what @JoyfulHeart said.
As for how much professionals make, there are very few doing this genuinely as their only source of income. For those that do, nobody can cuddle for more than 20-25 hours a week on average, and that's a lot. In such cases average session length is 2-3 hours so you can look up the rate and do the maths. However that's the maximum, not the average. The weekly standard deviation is higher than most people would guess; ik other words you really can have weeks with 25 hours and weeks with zero, and everything in between.
@CuddleDuncan Thank you. šš»
I heard the coolest cuddlers drive cool cars š! š
@JoyfulHeart I totally concur. And I need to borrow your brain the next time I want to say something especially succinct and eloquent:)
@achetocuddle awwwshucks!
@OhioMike seems I have been going about it all backwards, staving off the car purchase to instead save the cash for cuddle sessions - maybe I should focus on getting that supercar first :-)
@JoyfulHeart and @CuddleDuncan, mansplaining to women cuddlers telling women cuddlers they are wrong about how many inappropriate requests we get is whatās pretty rich on this thread.
I appreciate your sentiment and your desire to keep the āplatonic idealā of cuddling pure, but despite your activity on the forums and your own wishful thinking, you each have an ān of 1,ā which is to say, you know only your own minds.
I am not quite so cynical as @FectionKitty. I have many respectful clients and wouldnāt say that #allmen are here looking for sex. I also wouldnāt say, however, that the majority (thus the ālarger proportionā) of men have such entirely pure intentions.
For evidence, I give you screenshots from 2 consecutive pages from my inbox.* These are from my first weeks cuddling. No longer typical for an established pro with good karma, but also not ācap.ā
*Not all messages are shown for discretion/practicality. I never cuddled with any of the folks in the messages pictured here. About half contacted me before I became a pro and 1/3 before I had posted a picture. I can attest that of the first 16 people to contact me when I joined, 11 are now banned. Incidentally, if you ever wonder why women donāt stick around past a few daysā¦.
EDITED to change the contentious word in hopes that the spirit of the message about believing women about their own experiences comes through.
@AintMisbehavin
@CuddleDuncan, mansplaining to pro cuddlers about how many inappropriate requests
That's a particularly nasty insult. I will assume you are having a bad day and forgive you, but it may take me a little while. It's especially hurtful because I took the trouble to qualify my post to make sure that professionals in the US, who I suspect generally have a tougher time on this point than the experienced professionals here, did not misinterpret my comments in the way you have.
you know only your own minds.
Also insulting, and also wrong.
Please read my Karma, it will help you understand why I'm so offended by your comments. I put a lot of effort into caring for and understanding this community.
I fear your impression of the community at large may have been coloured by the dreadful experience of your own first week. Anyway, I'm glad you stuck with it and are still here.
@AintMisbehavin You always call it as you see them accurately, even if some are offended and defend mansplaining with having good karma. Using the karma defense against mansplaining is essentially what causes mansplainingāego and the urge to be right. Karma has nothing to do with the act of mansplaining. I did get a chuckle out of the response to your post which was mansplaining how it wasnāt mansplaining. I have been there and done that and only in hindsight did I realize how dumb that looked.
I have been guilty of mansplaining and even if it comes from a good place it still smacks of condescension and a lack of empathy. That need to explain is so ingrained in males that it is a daily battle to recognize and unlearn it because it does require humility and a great degree of critical introspection.
@CuddleDuncan, itās not even 6 am here yet, Iām still in a pretty decent mood, all things considered.
If youāll read my own karma, youāll note that Iām a pretty active professional, and not generally cynical about the community here. I have had several hundred positive encounters and truly love this place.
I appreciate your dedication to it and the thought and care that you put into most all of your posts.
Iām simply pointing out here the absurdity of your admonition of a female member for asserting her own personal experience on the site. Your knowledge of the types of requests women receive is second-hand knowledge, at best. Both you and @JoyfulHeart acknowledge that your claims are not based on data, but on observations of other men who participate on the forums.
You have no metric for knowing what other men want of women here, really, and what may happen in their hearts or behind closed doors, despite any rhetorical positions taken on the forums. Simply said, forum participation does not represent the vast majority of male usersāitās just a small fraction. Even the first-hand accounts youāre getting from other pro cuddlers you know are filtered. No successful service professional continually complains to a client about other clients while in session and maintains good business.
The site mods are great at taking care of flagrant abusers, but women regularly attest to the fact that a large proportion of their time spent on site and in session is fending off inappropriate requests and boundary pushing.
Iām not sure whether you had a knee-jerk reaction to the term āmansplaining,ā or whether it was just the assertion that you donāt have all the facts, but your hurt feelings donāt trump the actual lived experience of women who field these improprieties, both on this site and out in the world on a daily basis.
āāāā
My apologies to @xandriarain for hijacking. I agree that your math is solid.
The only people making $500k+ per year from cuddling arenāt doing it by the hour. Those numbers only result from scaling up (having multiple cuddlers working under you or paying you commission) or selling training/memberships. It would only take 50 pros cuddling 2 hrs each per day, for example, for this site to take in that much per year, whereas a top-dollar pro would need to cuddle 7 days a week 7 hours per day for 50 weeks per year to even approach that money. Thatās just silly.
Also, folks here suggesting that one can/should buy a car that costs 2-3x ones alleged (erm fabricated) annual income are also coo coo bananas.
@AintMisbehavin šÆ on everything.
I subscribe to the theory that it's a fools errand to attempt to count someone else's wealth. A work bonus or buyout from a FORMER employer, investments that perform well, generational wealth/inheritance, legal settlements, the lottery, gifts, etc. etc. have nothing to do with one's monthly income per se', but could play a huge part in their wealth/net worth calculation. And therefore provide the means for a home or automobile that doesn't necessarily fit a lifestyle that their APPARENT monthly income could support.
@herby357 Spot on.
@AintMisbehavin writes: mansplaining to women cuddlers about how many inappropriate requests we get is whatās pretty rich on this thread.
I just wonder how many seconds it would take for a man on this forum to be kicked out to the curb for saying anything close to this to a woman forum member.
I'm sad that I must be the one to point it out to you @AintMisbehavin, but men on this site are the reason you get to make a paycheck doing this at all. The ones who send the nasty requests aren't the ones paying you, those who are indeed sincere about their reasons for being here are. Yet is those very men you chose to insult.
It's particularly unfortunate that you choose to double down on your remarks after being called out for your nastiness. I do hope you go back and give serious thought to what you have said.
@herby357 šÆ !!! Iām beginning to like the fact that instead of voicing my opinion all the time, or staying quiet when I want to say something, I could just Agree or co-sign someone elseās statement & not be portrayed as the villain.
@cuddles_ndream, sounds like you might be ready to run for office š¤£
@AintMisbehavin Please keep things respectful on the forum and avoid direct insults. Also as a gentle nudge - we have reached out to you to discuss something about your account and yet to receive a response, please get back to us.
Uh, men do say somethingā¦constantly and without repercussions on here. Go through all these threads and look at all the times men try to tell female cuddlers what they should do with their cuddling business, that pros are morally bankrupt for charging, and even how they exaggerate their bad experiences. I think men view it as good advice, but when the tables are turned, men will tell everyone to stay in their lane. I think men overlook that they do this because they are men and it often needs to be strongly pointed out to men because every guy thinks they are great guy.
I'm sad that I must be the one to point it out to you @AintMisbehavin
And that is a shining example of mansplaining at its finest. I hope you read your quote closely because it has a lot of the condescension secret sauce dripping from it that drives women insane. You are not unique on that pointāwe have all done it. I canāt count how many times a woman has pointed out that I mansplained to her from just one simple sentence and when the initial wave of how dare she passes over I am learning to let the unnoticed little wave of empathy sweep over me. Without fail I see what she meant and how it must make her feel.
And @AintMisbehavin is not going to be lacking for clients anytime soon. If you knew her you would know.
Can we all agree to just drop the term "mansplaining"? It's a sexist derogatory term that is clearly going to cause unnecessary provocation. Please keep this thread on track and be respectful of all members and views.
@AintMisbehavin lol š was gonna post a gif but donāt want to continue to contribute to the derailment of this thread & respect the wishes to maintain it with its original intent ā¦ have a blessed day everyone š
We have reached out to you about an ongoing issue with your account and yet to receive a response from you. Please get back to us
@gary can we all agree not to air someoneās private business matters on a public forum? It is tacky and unethical. Plus it looks retaliatory. Or did the site get rid of the āAccount Pausedā option that is used to handle such matters?
@FunCartel Speaking generally - we do still suspend but only in exceptional cases because in doing so those members would be completely blocked and unable to access their account, messages, or continue any form of service. It's preferable to receive a gentle nudge about the forum rules and provide an opportunity to resolve before it reaches any stage of disruption of service, especially for members that may rely on the website.
@Gary Hmmm this is the first time I have seen someone āremindedā publicly about an account issue when chastised about forum rules going back about three years.
I find it odd that @AintMisbehavin gets a stern reminder about āinsultsā for something that wasnāt an insult and was only taken that way by someone when that person does do what she said. When a male constantly explains what it is like for a female it comes across as entitled condescension hence the word that shall not be mentioned being applied in that situation. To tack on the account issue looks like what many of us are thinking about this siteās relationship with the person with hurt feelings.
I hope my personal business doesnāt get aired out on here because of a perceived slight.
@FunCartel It's reasonable to conclude many would find "mansplaining" an insulting term, as such it is best avoided on the forum especially when aimed directly at individuals. In an effort to not derail this thread any further, please take this discussion to PM if you wish.
Lol š Probably itās a new way to laundry money (PS: below drawing was we play telestration )
I have read the above and will make any replies by PM.
@herby357 that is a good point. If the video is real - seemingly a big question in itself - there's no reason why the person couldn't be an ordinary cuddle professional now, whereas previously they did something more lucrative. Or won the lottery.
There's also a question of ..... approach to life. A Ferrari is a very materialistic thing. Cuddling is not. I wonder how many people there are who would do both, assuming that they could?
The term "mansplaining" Is mostly an unfair insult used to shut down discussion or disagreement. By using the logic of "mansplaining" any discussion or debate can be construed as "splaining" . Once the term is used remember no one group can claim a monopoly on the term. Men could just as well accuse women of splaining or different races or any different groups can do the same. It can become a weapon that stifles debate and ultimately free speech.