Chest boundaries double standards questions

CuddleForDIDCuddleForDID
edited April 2022 in General

So um... while the site makes it clear that cuddling while nude or in underwear is a no... what is the stance here about toplessness? I'm going to make this a poll. I'll explain the poll options here.

Double Standard: Men can go topless, women can't. Women can touch the man's chest, men can not touch the woman's breasts. Pretty common double standard.

Topfreedom: The belief that female breasts are no more sexual than a man's chest and women should be able to go topless anywhere men are allowed to. This would also imply that touching a woman's breasts is no more sexual than touching a man's chest.

Shirts for everyone: I don't really know of anyone else who is this way, this is just my personal opinion. I agree that men and women should be treated the same, no double standards but sort of the opposite of Topfreedom. I've never been comfortable taking my shirt off in public. It's not so much that I'm allowed to, it's compulsory in some places. I've been harassed by both men and women because I didn't want to take my shirt off and felt it was hypocritical especially for the women to try to force me to do something I was clearly uncomfortable with which I would have gotten in trouble for if the gender roles were switched. I also have an ex who knows it makes me uncomfortable and still continues to touch my chest whenever she feels like it. If you don't want me doing it to you please don't do it to me, gender doesn't matter to me. Personal boundaries should be followed regardless of gender.

Open to individual interpretation: Essentially what this means is as long as everyone involved is still staying dressed from the waist down and everyone involved is comfortable and consenting, it's not going to matter what anyone is or isn't wearing from the waist up. This is basically the "other" option. Maybe you'd be comfortable enough to be topless but don't think that should automatically imply that touching is OK too. Maybe it's ok for him to rest his head on her chest but this shouldn't imply that removing her shirt is allowed. Basically you'd have to discuss before hand what is or isn't OK regarding the chest area but there isn't really a set rule beyond don't cross sexual boundaries.

Comments

  • DaringSprinterDaringSprinter

    This isn't really a man/woman divide. It's a breasts/no breasts divide—and that's a cultural thing. Used to be naked male chests were verboten as well (in America, up until the mid-1930s).

    Until societal standards change, folks with mammaries will be required to cover their torsos while folks without won't. Fair? No. Fact? Yes.

    On a site like this, my opinion is that it's best to err on the platonic side, and cover everybody.

  • cuddles_ndreamcuddles_ndream

    Yes for woman’s rights & equal opportunity I think woman should go topless 👀

    disclaimer: just kidding

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod
    edited April 2022

    There is no 'double standard' on this site. Everybody is required to wear a shirt of some kind.

    For clarity, suggesting to anybody that either of you cuddle topless is a breach of the terms of service and is likely to result in an instant ban.

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    Yes, everything I have ever seen here is that both parties have to be clothed. And I have never seen a pro say they were okay with a male cuddler being topless. There is only one standard here and it applies to everyone.

  • CuddleForDIDCuddleForDID

    "This isn't really a man/woman divide. It's a breasts/no breasts divide"

    That's actually inaccurate. If it was dependent on having or not having breasts then over weight men would have to cover the same as most women. Breast tissue is mostly fat tissue which is why over weight men can and do also develop breasts. The only difference is fat doesn't regularly build up there for men the way it does for women regardless of their fitness level. Men can also develop Breast Cancer though it's far more common in women.

    On the flip side of that girls don't develop breast till puberty or in some cases won't develop breasts till their first pregnancy. Women still have to cover up even when they're totally flat chested. There are also documented cases of breast cancer survivors who have had their breasts surgically removed but were still told they had to wear a top despite not having breasts anymore.

    So this is very much a man/woman divide not a breast/no breasts divide. The breasts/no breasts thing is just an excuse people use to discriminate based on gender even though there are clearly women who fall into the no breasts category and men who fall into the breasts category but are still treated as if it's the opposite.

    By the way, I'm aware both genders use to cover their chests, I wish it was still that way.

    "For clarity, suggesting to anybody that either of you cuddle topless is a breach of the terms of service and is likely to result in an instant ban."

    Thank you that was very helpful.

  • ShaneSchruteShaneSchrute

    This is the sort of thing I’d have no patience for if I was an Admin. I’d just link to the TOS and lock this topic immediately.

    “Debating” about this is useless. Just follow the rules here or go elsewhere.

  • netrunnernetrunner Mod
    edited April 2022

    Since the comment has already been made about the site rules requiring both parties to be fully clothed during a session and this has been acknowledged by OP I won't go over that. As for the poll, since this pertains to the use of the website I am removing the poll as the site rules for cuddling sessions are not up for debate and locking this thread.

This discussion has been locked.