@MaxCuddle Enthusiast or pro?
Perfectly stated! EXACTLY!
According to this published study about online male female interactions "the bottom 80% of men (in terms of attractiveness) are competing for the bottom 22% of women and the top 78% of women are competing for the top 20% of men."
No matter how you try to sugarcoat it, If you are a man and not in the top 20% of attractiveness you will not be successful here, statistically. It has nothing to do with how kind you are or how thoughtful your messages are.
https://medium.com/@worstonlinedater/tinder-experiments-ii-guys-unless-you-are-really-hot-you-are-probably-better-off-not-wasting-your-2ddf370a6e9a
In my comment from yesterday, I referenced point #3. Unfortunately, I can no longer edit my comment but wanted to revise it to say I meant point #5 about how you're not a pro so people shouldn't expect instant gratification from you.
Please do not think that you can get instant cuddle gratification from pros. That is not the case. Pros also expect to be treated like humans and we have to screen and arrange to meet up with you. This might be different if our profiles had something like an online booking calendar where we could block time. There would still be the need for screening/verification though.
@MCcuddles2 That's an article about dating, not platonic interaction (and Tinder of all things - an app mostly used for hookups).
@Moxytocin I think parallels would apply for people seeking enthusiast cuddling.
In my experience, admittedly without data, this is how it works in real life as well. Women tend to be interested in only the top tier of men in terms of perceived value.
@Moxytocin yeah, but it's still true here. I tweaked my cold-messages for a year, and nothing had as much success as getting a new profile photo.
@MCcuddles2
I can only speak for myself but I will say that if I were able to choose based off of looks, I would always steer clear of the muscle bound or conventionally attractive ones. Based on my experience, they were always shallow and rude and had zero care for my safety and well being.
There is a joke that's as old as the internet regarding men trying to meet people of the opposite gender.
Rule 1: Be Attractive Rule 2: Don’t Be Unattractive
@MCcuddles2 on this site this is simply not true.. At least for pros. I cuddle with any look on this site. I don't care about attractiveness as a pro. Everyone here (for me at least) is given a fair chance..
Now, if you're ugly on the inside THAT is easy to spot and that will get a big, fat no thanks from me.
@OliveGreen yes, it isn't true at all for professionals. We're referring to enthusiasts.
@MCcuddles2 posted: "If you are a man and not in the top 20% of attractiveness you will not be successful here, statistically. It has nothing to do with how kind you are or how thoughtful your messages are."
I'm an enthusiast, and I have to completely disagree.
You, yourself, are proof of this. I complimented you on your looks recently, because I found your picture attractive, but no further interaction occurred.
Meanwhile, I carry on meaningful friendships and exchange very lengthy messages with some guys who I do not find attractive, or whose pictures I have never even seen, because we click and they are kind, interesting, and amazing human beings.
~ Sunset Snuggles
@Moxytocin I’ve found many of my experiences messaging enthusiast women parallel messaging women on online dating. I have no doubts that better photos will make a huge difference.
There are few differences, though. I have had conversations with v many people without sharing a photo. Seems to be more interest in people wanting to get to know me, I guess because we are a platonic site (There are still a lot of enthusiasts that message back with one line responses). And thanks to the forums, sometimes women will message me first because of a post they liked.
I'm a professional... and I already made it a point to myself and people who are not taking the time to read my profile. I don't just take any clients. If one can't take the time to read my profile ( something I took time to write.. for a reason) I can tell what type of session I'll be having. And I just avoid at all cost. although when I make changes to it I let my repeat clients know. it's extremely annoying.
@SunsetSnuggles yes, but you are wildly untypical!
@CuddleDuncan @SunsetSnuggles is wildly untypical, and wonderfully so! I hope our paths will cross someday.
@BlueIris 👏🏽 I think a lot of people could learn a little from this and simply reading a profile.
@OliveGreen I find that pros still still cuddle me even though I find myself ugly on the inside. Oh and v there are lot of pros that seem to be highly selective based on age, gender, and who knows else. There’s a whole thread on it somewhere, so I’ll stop derailing this one lol. The superstar professionals are generally the ones that will respond to you if you atleast show a baseline level of respect.
@MaxCuddle writes: What also that gets very old is what I go thru. I exchange 5-6 messages with a female. We schedule a session- all messaging on this site. Then she stops messageing me.
Yep, that's been my experience too. I just don't bother with the enthusiast profiles any more (I'll talk to those who message me, but not wasting much energy reaching out). It's just too much hassle and the hit to my psyche just isn't worth it. I've found that it's far more efficient for me to convert the time I'd waste trying to get a session with an enthusiast into money - then just using that cash to hire a pro. Heck, I have hell of a time even getting pros to message me back, but at least with that it's somewhat easier. One pro even made me fill out a two page "intake form" online before she would even talk to me - and after I filled it out - no response. Not even a "no we aren't a good fit" response. But at least that then is a self selecting process - it makes sure I don't waste money on someone unwilling to do the emotional labor.
The professional cuddlers on this site are unsung heroes and the absolute nicest, drama-free, genuine humans. Periodt 😊
@CuddleDuncan posted: "yes, but you are wildly untypical!" If so, that's a shame!
@sunnysideup posted: "SunsetSnuggles is wildly untypical, and wonderfully so! I hope our paths will cross someday." Aww, I appreciate that!! You posted: "I find myself ugly on the inside" Nothing ugly about you, I have loved getting to know you!
@OliveGreen @Sheena123 Yep.
There is nothing special about my appearance. Just a chubby dude with a beard . I've met a lot of people here , and am in contact with even more. If you ask them why, I'm sure they will tell you my looks are not very high on the list of why they like me . Lots of good looking jerks.
I will say that not wasting time complaining and arguing on the forums doesn't hurt ....
Shouldn’t ever get caught up in looks to begin with as attractiveness is in the eye of the beholder and everyone possesses a different ideal of attractiveness. For example, I have never understood why so many successful men feel compelled to date or marry a supermodel. They seem plastic to me and the bathroom smells the same after they do the 2 as anyone else.
and the bathroom smells the same after they do the 2 as anyone else.
@FunCartel this is lie; take it back!
@MaxCuddle, just FYI, women don't like to be referred to as "females". We are actually people. The men from here who are closest with me treat me like a person, and that is what sets them apart from all the others.
@pmvines They way I've been explained (and women feel free to correct me), photos of guys are mainly used by women to get a sense of their vibe; what 'type' of person are they (sensitive or douchebag, liberal or republican, outdoorsy, nerdy, geeky, this gives them a sense on if there would be things in common, and also if they seem like human that has their life somewhat together - smiling, good posture, hygenic etc). Photos also show how purely physically attractive someone is as well but this is not always the first priority in a picture.
There are plenty of good looking jerks. And there are plenty of women that date good looking jerks. Not sure if these good looking jerks find cuddle buddies, though it can't hurt (to be good looking).
@FunCartel Probably for status, since (in their minds) supermodels are the highest status women. Dating is a game that many people play to see what the best they can get is. Not the healthiest perspective, and treats people like commodities, but seems to be how a lot of people act. I'm sure the supermodel would dump the rich guy if he lost his money, and vice versa if the supermodel stopped looking after her looks.
@sunnysideup Photos are used so that we don't walk into a place with no clue who we're looking for and meeting with and so that our safety person has a pic (I go further and get ID) in case anything should happen to us.
@MCcuddles2 I am afraid I am married to that opinion. 🤣🤣🤣
@Moxytocin that's a big one. Sorry I missed that.