May I ask why she chose to use someone that wasn't a professional cuddler?
How about because for most people paying for physical affection seems bizarre and depressing?
Karma or not, I don't think I would trust anyone that didn't have something to lose on here.
What in the world does this mean? You've got karma from two non-pros, exactly what did they have to lose?
You do realize that at least theoretically, the main purpose of this site is to facilitate meetups between cuddle enthusiasts, right? Years ago, pros weren't even allowed on the site. And now here's someone acting like it's weird that anyone would cuddle without money changing hands. What a world we live in.
@KYtransplant the person never asked for any consent at all. He had permission to cuddle me and I guess I felt since to rules state no sex or groping that it wouldn't happen. Shame on me.
@Klaws I figured that if he had 3 good Karmas from pro cuddlers that I could trust that he would be respectful and sense the ground rules are to sex or groping that it would be respect or he wouldn't be on here. I learned my lesson.
@Klaws I never thought about it like that. And of course I cannot speak for her.
I've thought about all the aspects a little. I'm divorced, childess and a loner so I have lot of time to think and enjoy thinking.
I like the idea of enthsiasts cause I don't have a lot of disposable income but mostly cause I hope to develop a little friendship also. Tho I know pros and enthusiasts often become friends. I still think there are good things about hiring a pro but I am satisfied by the quality and quantity of the enthusiasts I've met.
I even daydreamed about being a pro but it I can tell without doing so it would be a hard job. And my personality is wrong for it, etc.
I think of enthusiasts as having something to lose also. Can't explain any of this as I would like. An established enthusiast probably wants to remain here and not do anything to mess that up. I'm fairly new and getting a cuddle or not won't make or break me, but I do really enjoy and appreciate the site, the chats, the cuddles and the forum so I would have a lot to lose if I mess up/push boundaries/commit assault.
I hope this sheds a little light on how differently people view cuddling and the way for them to get what they particularly want from it.
@Peony84 I realize that the post was poorly worded on my part. I am sorry, I have been up a little too long and I am a bit fuzzy brained.
It was directed to the lurkers on the site. Not you or anyone else this has happened to.
He was clearly way the f*** out of bounds and probably felt he could boundary push with an enthusiast as he had no money at stake to lose.
It's absolutely despicable behavior and for trauma survivors it is devastating and can set us back years.
Removed f-bomb. [-Sid]
@Klaws Both male and female pros have been banned from the site for the exact behavior described in the OPs post.
@Klaws
Perhaps stop shaming the victim?
And for everyone keep in mind what there is to "lose":
A ) Being a decent human being... B ) Having sexual assault charges filed against you, and having whatever criminal and civil penalties that the jury/judge decides upon levied against you...
Consent is everything, and exactly like boundaries, it is NOT NEGOTIABLE.
It is NOT to be navigated, worked around, or ignored.
If someone says "NO", believe them, leave them alone, and walk away.
@Klaws Women rarely see professional cuddlers on this site. The male pro cuddlers have trouble finding female clients. You seem to be victim blaming which is wrong
@Melancholy I'm so sorry to hear that happened and I hope she'll be okay. It's infuriating to hear about people who violate others' trust and safety... You shouldn't feel guilty for recommending CC to your friend. You sound like a wonderful friend who had the best intentions and wanted your her to get the cuddles she needed.
@Hbang Not a long story, and thank you for sharing. Sounds like your 'gut feeling' was spot on and likely kept an uncomfortable situation from becoming quite dangerous. I would assume that most people with good intentions on CC would welcome a vetting to help their cuddle partner feel more secure. Every time I meet someone new, I get really nervous, and I assume the other person could've be equally so, or even more. When we meet as cuddlers, enthusiasts or professional, we are both very vulnerable and our gut instincts can be our best indicator that something's wrong. I'd say if there's any inkling that something's wrong, it's not likely to feel right when cuddling, even if nothing bad actually happens. I know I wouldn't want a cuddle session with someone who couldn't feel safe with me. I've been blessed that those I've met were wonderful people.
@jaswbrown thank you..
@Hbang No worries... I feel the majority of us are here for connection and for genuine cuddles (and to give them), which is a truly wonderful thing. We all deserve respect and security, and when that gets violated, I think it's good to talk about it openly, if able. The majority of the people in the forum are truly wonderful, and the mods really care about the safety of the community we have.
A lot of men are pigs who don't seem to care about getting proper consent. If she doesn't give you a verbal "yes", it's the same as her saying no...and with the platonic nature of this site, they shouldn't be here anyway if they are looking for something non-platonic.
I really feel sorry for her. She wanted to feel safe but it went the opposite . Always meeting strangers a dangerous thing, no matter how many precautions you take,there is always risks. There's only 1 faith protects women from sexual crimes,that's why in some countries they separate the mixing men and women and women travel alone to prectect them from monsters. Every pro or enthusiast always afaird of meeting strangers and hoping nothing will happen to them. Is there any other solution . Say high 👋 to women's rights goodby.
@cuddlewisher123 Faith is often an oppressor of women. I can't think of one that does what you claim.
@KYtransplant there's no way meeting random stranger and mix with him in the same room can be safe which faith already warned about it. If there's a man and woman in 1 room the devil 😈 is the third . There is No other solution rather than faith .
@cuddlewisher123 Sir, I understand where you are coming from, but this forum is not a place to tell people what you think is wrong with them, their thoughts, or actions. Kindly read the rules of this site. Good evening or good morning.
@achetocuddle I'm giving solution and I'm entitled to my opinion, why when others give solution on how to protect boundaries OK and mine not OK, you are unfair person. By the way I'm giving solution from my heart rather than you thank me ,you criticise me, If you don't like it someone else might like it. Peace, God protect us from evil Ameen. By the way good night
@cuddlewisher123 You didn't give a valid solution. There's a devil in the room ? That's very extreme.
@Melancholy valid solution don't mix with stranger at all it's always unsafe sooner or later something might happen, you know already every day there are complaints about it. By the way what's best solution to protect women from monsters ? Can you answer please 🙏?
@cuddlewisher123 I'm fine with you thinking I am unfair. It appears you are not familiar with the site or the forum. I just wanted to give a heads up. I like that you wished me good night. I always like it when people post civilized things. Best of luck to you in what you are searching for. @Melancholy Yep.
@achetocuddle nice to meet you I'm new . Prevention better than cure.
@cuddlewisher123 It's nice to meet you. I really like nice manners. Prevention is better than cure applies to many things. I respectfully disagree that saying applies to this thread, at least my interpretation of it. When I first joined this site, I just wanted to chat and learn. Are you also here for that? I may not read your answer and reply anytime soon. It's my bedtime and a busy day tomorrow.
@achetocuddle yes I'm here for that chat,learn,share seek advice ,hope it goes easy for you.
@cuddlewisher123 This is a site for platonic cuddling and often it's between men and women. There's nothing wrong with that and if you think your religion says it's wrong or the devil has anything to do with it then what are you in this site for ? Just to tell people about the devil ?
@cuddlewisher123 just... No.
Go find a different platform, it's boring to read this rhetoric in a community that knows better.
El fin.
@cuddlewisher123 is in time out. Please do not engage with him.
Edit: Never mind, he is gone. There are reasons.
The devil is just as real as the Easter Bunny.