@MCcuddles2
That's freaking funny and no one even recognized your skillz.
@Snuggluffagus I thought it was funny.
I'd venture a guess most of us got it, but recognized the inappropriate placement of it as well. It's too bad that some people have to try so hard to be funny because being empathetic, vulnerable or just silent is too much for them.
Jesus, ugh, go away and leave me alone, lady.
I guess some people can't help but be trolls.
@MCcuddles2 @quixotic_life She's not being a troll. I thought it was uncalled for within context, as well. And I absolutely love sarcasm. But there is a time and a place.
~ Sunset Snuggles
I didn't think it was uncalled for.
Maybe we can set up a forum board where everyone can review the appropriateness of comments before they are posted.
And yes, I do think she likes to troll. Definitely not the first time. With me and with others.
-MCcuddles the Second
@MCcuddles2 You are free to post your sarcasm, and she is free to think it's inappropriate. It's not trolling.
Personally, I love sarcasm and use it often, with people who I know appreciate it. I just don't happen to think it's a kind way to respond to people who are being vulnerable. Costs nothing to be kind.
How dare you!! Of all the accusations I assure you I'm no 'lady'. But enjoy your distorted delusional projections.
added ~ talk about a disconnection... smh...
Nice, gaslighting by calling me delusional and a projector. Again, leave me alone, go away.
I'm going to step away now, taking the age old internet wisdom to not "feed the troll".
Can't we all get along?
In the meantime, here's a cute snake.
@Mike403 Thank you!
https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/forum/discussion/comment/171350#Comment_171350
A thought that I have found to be helpful in terms of promoting mindfulness of the experiences of the genders is that, “men deeply fear women will laugh at them and women deeply fear that men will kill them.” While this is certainly a vast oversimplification of lived experiences it has proven helpful to me in promoting understanding.
Women have higher stakes than men at most points in pre-relationship and relationship. Pregnancy and subsequent health care concerns and child care, higher risk of catching some STI’s than men from intercourse, higher risk of being harmed physically in atmospheres typically perceived as “safe.” Statistically women are more likely to be killed by an acquaintance or someone they know well in their own homes while men are more likely to be killed by an acquaintance or stranger in a public place.
The lived experiences of men and women are vastly different and individuals outside those groups often have relatively incomplete or distorted perceptions of what life is like for those not in their same group. We all look out through the fish bowl of our limitations and preconceptions. The glass distorts, deletes, and generalizes thus limiting what we are able to perceive.
Such things are also shaped by both individual and societal slants that are assigned to genders culturally. As one example men often reduce things to techniques in my experience. How to best dribble a basketball, the best form for working out or throwing a punch… and also how to talk to a woman. Rather than focus the “technique” on how to best listen and reflect empathy and actually understand the complex interplay and feelings of another being it gets reduced to a page on wiki-how.
Brene Brown has a wonderful and insightful perspective on this (as is to be expected from one of the most prolific leading voices in vulnerability and shame research).
The BS our culture puts on women: 1.you must be both pleasant and pleasing 2. Handle everything happily and don’t let them see you sweat (be superstar mom, home room mom, soccer mom, etc. etc.) 3. Nothing is more horrifying than the horror of being “unpleasant” or “shrill”- which is apparently having an unfavorable opinion (or in some instances any opinion at all) or standing up for yourself or assertively advocating for or against a particular course of action.
The BS our culture puts on men: 1. “Weakness” or being unsure is not masculine and anything such as requesting emotional support, expressing needs of an emotional nature or things that display a lack of “expertise” in what men seem to consider basic life skills- one of which is talking to women (again, frequently reducing this into technique territory). 2. As a male you must be “in control” of your relationships and also play the field sexually. A male acknowledging a request from his significant other in a reasonable and equitable fashion can sometimes earn derision from male peers. 3. We are taught to suppress emotion and tether intimacy to sex- often with detrimental effects to both parties in our relationships.
Of course these instances are vast oversimplifications and there is much more variance within a group than there are differences between large groups.
My closing thoughts are this:
The only person you are guaranteed to go to bed with for the rest of your life is you. Find out who you are sleeping with.
Engage in reflection, read self-help books, take classes or seminars, journal. If you have the chance to go to a Hakomi seminar please absolutely do it.
The first step in balancing your life is to help secure your own foundation- the sense of self. Authenticity is often the ultimate aphrodisiac and if you can be you and embrace your flaws it helps equip you to be more fully present with others.
I do agree there is a large degree of disconnection and disassociation present in our society and, generically speaking, men’s expression of that is more aggressive in nature a certain portion of the time.
I feel that part of this is that as men we are disconnected from ourselves and do not learn or are not offered the tools to develop emotional literacy within ourselves and in relation to others.
If anyone would like some book/video/TED talk/modality recommendations I would be happy to do so.
Compassion and forgiveness are often most beneficially developed within and then naturally extend themselves outward.
In the simplest terms it is my belief that as we grow as humans we expand our hearts to include those around us. Personal growth becomes interpersonal growth.
All the love- Rusty
P.S.- sorry for the exhaustingly wordy post. I put this together off and on in between multiple tasks at work so it may have come out more jumbled and rambling than I would like.
@RustyTheNurse D*mn you're smart. I like your wordy posts.
@achetocuddle its a shoulders of giants thing the vast majority of the time. I have been lucky enough to find wonderful books and insightful teachers.
I used to be horribly inept and somewhat selfish in most of my interactions and was a rather horrible person in general if I’m being honest.
I actually think that I probably would have been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder if I had gotten a psych evaluation in my early 20’s. I very much had the, “I hate you, don’t leave me,” presentation.
Thanks again everyone who wrote on my discussion, even though I haven't responded to all of you I wanted you all to know I read each and every word you all wrote and I am very glad I made this post because there are so many insightful lessons to be learned here. Even how to make your own cuddle buddy through the power of schizophrenia 😜🤣🤣🤣.
Ooooooo, too many things to say not enough calm…. I’m going to go with @RustyTheNurse you've pretty much got it. But whooooa this topic has me 😡😡😡
@hughunter glad you could get a laugh.
As you can see, I was confronted by the self-appointed, holier(trollier?)-than-thou, satire police here 😅
⚠️🚩 - This image may be upsetting for some.
Greetings from your "self-appointed, holier(trollier?)-than-thou, satire police"
Satire: the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people's stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues.
Note: I am not policing satire. Satire isn't criminalized. I am however a habitual user and proponent of satire...
Ah, it's nice to put a face to a name. Not far from how I imagined it.
Figured as much.
I am also disturbed by the implications of a gloved hand by a TSA officer, wearing christian symbols, being pointed at me, a brown person of muslim origins whose people have historically been targetted by TSA. Subtle(overt) racism aside, it doesn't seem very platonic...
But I'm not surprised, given who is posting. Such microaggressions are a daily occurrence for our people, online or offline.
I typically try to brush these things off, but man, it wears on you.
Sigh.
I'm not even mad, at this point, I'm just disappointed.
Let's do better.
Let's be better.
I see a certain someone has learned from Zwei's mistakes. My partner should have played up his Jewishness more!
"This kind of libel is something my people are constantly facing," he could have said whenever anyone objected to his sense of humor or timing. "I bet you all picture me as a horrible monster with a huge nose and a penchant for drinking the blood of Christian children."
Ah, lost opportunities. Done in by antisemitism without even lifting a finger to point it out. Alas.
Yes, this is satire.
For the record ~ I didn't know that image could be interpreted as suble racism or as a microaggression. I'd googled "Troll Police" and that's what came up. I then added the stickers so it would further represent the labels I'd been given. Further, I didn't know that the person who'd been baiting me was from a hisorically marginalized community. By no means was that a factor in my attempt to make fun of his continued assertions about me.
My apologies to those harmed or unsettled by my [failed] attempt at satirizing the obsurd. I sincerely hope this has helped to ease your discomfort some
Note: I've left the image for context and put it behind a spoiler.