getting unmatched

HappyninjaHappyninja
in General

Hi my name is Eric Perdue so just recently I went on to a woman profile said that she's not a pro and she doesn't charge a fee and if we want to do a cuddle session she wants to check a background so I gave her my background and got a message from her a few days later saying that she thanks me for reaching out to her but said she's not a pro and don't charge a fee and that were NOT A MATCH she wish me luck to finding a cuddle buddy so I replied to her that's fine and that's the only thing I saidto her and then I blocked her because I don't want to deal with rudeness also I'm pretty hurt from that I don't know if I ever want to cuddle but instead of moping and crying I Just Dance it out because I'm a dancer ( I do lots of dance activity throughout San Diego) but at the same time I still want to cuddle but on this site I keep getting turned down lately and that's why I don't use this site that much lately I don't know why I keep getting rejected is it because of my skin color, or my appearance, or my characteristic really I don't know but I'm very friendly, kind caring, and I'm also respectful with boundaries as well during cuddles I just want to get this off my chest also to the pro cuddlers I do want to cuddle with you but unfortunately I don't have the funds right now to do a session but I will one day and even to the non-pros I'm always down to do cuddles but whatever you feel comfortable with I respect that

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Comments

  • misternatureboymisternatureboy

    For starters, use more periods.

  • Mike403Mike403
    edited June 2022

    .

  • GreatHornedOwlGreatHornedOwl

    Don't feel alone. It happens to all of us. With me, it's my age. In reality, the real cause is that the men outnumber the women here by an enormous amount. When a new woman joins, she will usually be inundated with hundreds of messages. Keep trying.

  • RadiantHugsRadiantHugs Mod

    @Happyninja It is normal to feel hurt when someone rejects you - I have been there so many times myself. However, if you consider someone who rejects you to be rude just for that reason, you really need to spend some time doing some deep inner work. I know this sounds harsh, but by making it about you - you are allowing someone else's decisions to control you - and that isn't helping you one bit. The other person most likely rejected you not because of anything to do with you, but most likely because of something going on with her - and it's her loss she missed out! There will be others. You are being the best version of yourself by just being better at being you!

  • pmvinespmvines

    Seems to me she wasn't being rude , just honest. Nobody is required to want to spend time with you . She has free will and exercised it in an up front and polite manner . What else do you feel like you are owed in this situation?

  • Mike403Mike403

    I see posts from people saying that not responding to a message is rude. This one did respond with a simple "no, thank you". That's also rude?

  • HappyninjaHappyninja

    @misternatureboy sorry I don't have perfect grammar☺

  • Mike403Mike403

    @Happyninja - Breaking down the message into paragraphs and using periods will make it much easier on our eyes and unlikely to discourage reading rather than looking like a wall of text.

  • CuddleWhoCuddleWho

    You literally wrote 294 words without a single period. That habit alone will make a significant portion of women, quite possibly the majority, reject you, because it makes you seem unintelligent or careless or even, to be honest, crazy. Learn to communicate well in the medium you're using.

    But, FWIW, most men on this site are rejected (whether implicitly or explicitly) by almost every woman they message. It's not necessarily tied to anything you did wrong and it doesn't need deep analysis. It's just a fact of life even off this site, which just happens to be distilled here into an especially concentrated form: (most) men get rejected by women pretty often.

  • HappyninjaHappyninja

    @GreatHornedOwl no I understand that a lot of males population over there in the female population on the site which is fine but I know that the females get lots of message

  • HappyninjaHappyninja

    @CuddlesByDeep super thanks for the encouragement I'm always trying to be the best I can and you're right if they miss out they miss out

  • HappyninjaHappyninja

    @Mike403 sorry it's my bad habit of my grammar I was just doing regular texting

  • achetocuddleachetocuddle

    @Happyninja Good advice here already. A thoughtful message in complete sentences without run-on sentences will definitely help. Posting on the forum that your reaction to getting a no, thank you, is to block the woman does not make you look like a guy women will want to cuddle. It makes you look like you might have a temper, even tho we get why you felt like doing that. Also, women like men who act mature, even for "just" a cuddle. A cuddle is a big deal; not something to jump into lightly. Best wishes.

  • HappyninjaHappyninja

    @CuddleWho my apologies for my grammar I wasn't thinking about putting. I was just doing regular texting it's a little bit of bad habit of mine and I understand what you're saying but I got over my situation and I just move on if she missed out that's on her but that's fine

  • Minestrone101Minestrone101
    edited June 2022

    It's not your color, bro. And you're not respecting her boundaries, because if you did, you'd respect her decision and move on instead of rage quitting.

    Cuddling or communication rests in consent, and when that involved you not getting what you want, you rudely blocked her (which already is going to possibly get you bad karma points) and then wrote a whole public post as if you were requesting sympathy for your situation.

    For example, let's say you were cuddling but she disagreed with a positional change or was triggered by contact on a bodily area; would you flip out like you are here or would you respect her boundaries and substantiate her feelings?

    Cuddlers, particularly women, must have a clear and distinct vetting process to ensure safety and exactly what your enthusiast stated: "if you're a good fit." You're lucky she took the time to communicate with you instead of blocking you.

    This not a dating app. Cuddling is all about consent and communication.

  • HappyninjaHappyninja

    @cylee1180 no you're right but I'm not using this site like a dating app or anything like that and I did got a little bit of Rage and the blocking was unnecessary but then I snap back into reality and said to myself this isn't me so I got over the situation I unblocked her and I I just continue with my business even when re-read what I post I sounded very stupid so I learn from my mistakes thank you for helping me point it out on my stupid mistake that I made

  • HappyninjaHappyninja

    @achetocuddle yeah I reread my post and it sounds very horrible and make me look bad so I learn from my mistakes and I move on

  • pmvinespmvines
    edited June 2022

    @Happyninja you've been on the site since April 2017. Do you sincerely need somebody to explain to you at this juncture why women are not required to hang out with/respond to you if they dont want to ? That's like first year getting to know the site stuff . You dont need to be patted on the back and told that everything will be fine or a pep talk . You need an ego check.

  • Minestrone101Minestrone101
    edited June 2022

    @Happyninja Yeah that's okay dude. Yeah , try to respect the cuddlers and respect the process. Cuddling someone is not just physical- it involves a lot of trust and openess and time and consideration.

    I think for the time being, people have said to make sure you have a very good profile and to thoroughly read others' profiles before contacting.

    Good luck , and let's show we can men can be gentlemen and can spread good karma in the cuddling community.

  • Mike403Mike403
    edited June 2022

    Cuddling is an intimate activity. People have the right to choose who they have in their personal space. I've also been here since 2017 and how many enthusiasts do you think I cuddled with? That's right.. zero. If it wasn't for the pros, many men won't get cuddles at all.

  • HappyninjaHappyninja

    Everybody let me start off by thanking everybody opinions I know that when I made this post I sounded very stupid I didn't know everybody was into grammer's and period my bad is my social texting habit I was all up in my head and just rage away but I took a couple of minutes. to snap back into reality i look at this and said I know that this isn't me I'm a good person I know that this post made me look bad dumb a person egotistic but I know I made a mistake but I also really learn from this so at the end of the day I just laugh this off and continue on and to be honest I come from a dance background so if I don't get cuddles I rather have a dance partner then cuddle buddy because I do lots of Latin dance with salsa and bachata

  • Minestrone101Minestrone101

    Awesome dude. I'm a bachata, zouk, and kizomba fan myself, and there's a lot of overlap w cuddling. But, they're also very different too. They both have something to offer. Best of luck.

  • achetocuddleachetocuddle

    @Happyninja You are not the only used to messaging text-style. No biggie. Now you know it doesn't go over well:)
    Regarding the PM I sent you, I was amused by you calling me bro; in an odd way it made me feel good, like one of the guys. But most women don't want to be called bro. Lol. Just some gentle teasing. I realize you probably did not look at my profile and were trying to promptly reply to everyone, which is nice. Your humble attitude after thinking it over is great.
    That is the kind of attitude that will serve you well n all aspects of life :)

  • HappyninjaHappyninja

    @pmvines well just to let you know I have a been on this site for like a few years and wasn't thinking of when I was writing and my post made me look bad and dumb I understand that she got the rights to choice to do a cuddle section or not so I'm already over the situation I just laugh and move on and to be honest I rather dance it out what's a dance partner than cuddle it out

  • Mike403Mike403

    First impression is important and since your writing style is the first thing they see when messaging somebody on here, you might want to work on that. Add periods at the end of a sentence and break up larger messages into paragraphs.

  • HappyninjaHappyninja

    @achetocuddle so sorry if I called you a bro I'm just replying to everybody message and didn't pay attention and also I was using voice input it was Miss wording on some parts another bad habit of mine lol

  • HappyninjaHappyninja

    @Mike403 one time I message Pro cuddler for a cuddle session she told me that I didn't have enough Karma but it didn't bother me at the time so I can move on from there as well

  • Sheena123Sheena123

    I agree with @achetocuddle , it’s refreshing to see someone grow from their mistakes and try to better themselves. You see where you went wrong, you recognized how to go about it maturely should it happen again and you’re choosing to stay positive in the light of all this. That’s good 👍🏻 keep improving and learning what’s best in the ways of communicating with women and everyone in general 👍🏻

  • HappyninjaHappyninja

    @Mike403 I meant to say I move on from that as well sorry my voice input always miss working and that situation didn't bother me either

  • achetocuddleachetocuddle

    @Happyninja No prob. Lol. So funny. Especially since you didn't think I was a guy. ha ha

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