Who's the cruelest chef from Cuba?
Fidel Casserole.
What do you call a baby that has parents one from Cuba and the other from Iceland ?
Icecube
*snare cymbal
What do you call a single chef's apartment?
A spatula pad!
I put root beer in a square cup. Now it's just beer.
(Math joke)
Noice noice. It all adds up. Beer that in mind.
Just found out the company that produces yardsticks won't be making them any longer.
@Cessna_guy My milkshakes bring all the yardsticks to the yard...
@Sideon Ha!
There was a scientist studying ageing. The subjects that he was working with were porpoises. He believed that a compound that he extracted from sea gulls could cause his porpoises . The immediate problem was that we only cot a tiny bit od this compound from each bird, so he needed a lot of them.
One day he had been collecting gulls in a California state park. He was on his way out of the park with a large sack of the birds, when he came across a cougar, sound asleep, blocking off the trail. He very gingerly stepped over the cougar, and continued on his way.
Unfortunately for him, he had been spotted by a park ranger, and was immediately arrested. He was charged with Transporting gulls across state lions for immortal porpoises.
To compete with @Mike403 and his math joke:
After all the animals got off the ark, Noah told them all to go forth and multiply. A year later, Noah went around on an inspection tour. He found loads of baby birds, and baby bunnies, and little puppies. Every where he went, was full of young animals, All the pairs of animals were multiplying very nicely.
Everything looked fine, until he got to one pair of snakes. There were no baby snakes at all. Noah became irate. "Whats the matter with you two. I told you all to go forth and multiply. Why are there no young snakes here?" The male snake was apologetic. He said "We're very sorry Noah, but we just can't multiply. You see, we're adders. Noah said I don't care what kind of snakes you are, I want you to get busy and start multiplying.
The following year when Noah went on his tour, he was pleased to find dozens of baby snakes crawling all over their parents. He went up to the snake, and said "That's great. What did you do differently?"
The snake replied "Let me tell you that it wasn't easy. We found a tree down, but without hands, it took us three weeks to cut the ends off and turn it into a log of manageable size. Then it took us another four months to split it down the middle. Finally, it only took one more month to prop it up on the two cut off ends, so we could use it for a table."
Noah was puzzled. He scratched his head and said "All that work was very admirable, but how did it help?" The snake sneered a little and said "Don't you know that adders can multiply on a log table."
We had some math jokes, so how about some physics Limericks?
There once was a woman so bright She could travel faster than light She set out one day In a relative way And returned the previous night
There once was a man named Fisk Whose fencing was exceedingly brisk So fast was his action The Fitzgerald contraction Turned his foil to a disc
Do you know the price of a new chimney?
No, but it must be through the roof.
Lol noice
I just applied for a job at a mirror factory. That’s a job I can see myself doing!
I’ve also stared a successful shipbuilding company in my attic. Sails are through the roof!
Here's another maths one, @GreatHornedOwl. I heard this when I was 17. Context is everything of course, but it was one of the funniest jokes I ever heard: I remember exactly where I was when I heard it. (Spoiler alert ... it's not actually that funny.)
What's green and commutes?
An abelian grape.
5/4 people admit they are bad at fractions.
@Btown I always liked that one.
@achetocuddle It has been around a while.
I recently joined an autopsy club. Tomorrow is open Mike night.
They buried a man alive, they mad a grave mistake...
A man tried to sell me a coffin. I told him that's the last thing I need.
Why are fish always off key?
You can't tuna fish.
Hahahaha!
Did you hear about the guy who filled up for only $20 ?
He looked down and it was his push mower!! 😆
I can guess what people are thinking just by looking at their hands. I'm usually wrong but I can guess.
What did the rabbit say to the carrot?
It's been nice gnawing you.
Gotta hand it you, that was gnaw-ice.
What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?
Sofishticated.
Hahaha
@cylee1180 Lol. Maybe you should start a thread about how many different ways you can say nice; noice, gnaw-ice, etc. LOL.