I deleted my comment. Thanks for everyone’s concern
@KozyKim Cute as a button, cute as a glutton, or cute as mutton...or cute as a Muppet?
@FunCartel Sprite?
@KozyKim that's the right attitude for cuddling and how I feel too. Everyone is cute in their own way, every kind person deserves a cuddle. How people don't see that exposing that theyre garbage on the inside isn't infinitely more revolting than puffy eyes and some pandemic weight gain blows me away. I ask for photos to recognize who I'm meeting. If I rejected someone for their looks I wouldn't deserve to be a cuddler. I think being able to see the beauty in anyone is more a qualification than being reallyreallyreallyreally goodlookin. People can demand anything if theyre paying, sure, But they might shine the light on their rotten inner core, and everyone has a right to refuse service for ugliness as well.
Just wanted to let everyone know that most of my clients send pictures without me even asking. There’s only been just a few. That have not. But these are people that I’ve talked to quite a bit. These are local people that I know that are real. I guess I was just trying to say that it’s not always important to bug people for a picture sometimes they don’t like the way they look in their afraid that I’m not gonna cuddle them if they give me a picture. But I’m staying very safe just to let you know. or a couple of them have been married and very nervous. But I have been great Cuddles. I love my cuddlers faces. Every one of them:)
Those are the biggest red flags ever. Thank you to the person who posted the screenshot. This is why I make it a point to only post recent pics & pics where you can see my size. I’m not skinny & if anyone doesn’t like it, I do not want them approaching me for a cuddle.
I try to be very accurate about my appearance, not just by keeping up to date pictures but in my demographic section as well because everyone always feels inclined to comment on my weight or appearance. Some have even used “my attractiveness” to push my boundaries because I’m just soooo irresistible.. I’m constantly objectified. If someone crosses the line it’s my fault because I’m pretty, or because I didn’t wash what little makeup I was wearing just for a 1 hour session in the middle of the day. I was raised you wake up early and get ready for the day, my great grandmother said to alway be clean and put together because you never know who you’re going to meet. But apparently that sends the wrong message. I’m sorry I look like this? I saw a lot of comments in the catfish post saying we shouldn’t even wear makeup during sessions. Or pictures with makeup on gives them the wrong idea so don’t even post those. I don’t have time to look unkept throughout the day. Or to remove my makeup for one maybe two sessions. Put my makeup back on just to go about my day again.
Until about two days ago I always had my body type as overweight, because I am. I have children. I’ve had surgeries. I’m human. I’ve had clients (only two but it was devastating) say during our session that I was bigger than expected. I’ve been on a strict diet for years, and I’m diabetic. However, the majority of my clients have said that I’m not overweight and I should change it. One actually sent me a screenshot of my own profile of the body type section and put “Not True” in the caption. Both comments either way make me super uncomfortable and puts me in this weird limbo. To some I’m fat and to most others I’m “thick”. Which I don’t know how that’s a compliment, it’s still a term for the overweight. Regardless my weight is temporary I’m human and female so my weight fluctuates hard throughout the month due to hormonal imbalances. My skin isn’t always perfect I’m 30 and still have breakouts (which I’m currently experiencing). Sometimes I might not get enough sleep and have bags or dark circles under my eyes. To have one encounter with someone and say they look drastically different than their photos is one thing, and maybe for safety reasons that can be an issue. Saying their photos look three years too old is another and could have to do with so much a person is going through.
I have an inkling he thought this post was okay due to the catfish post. I didn’t like that post either, but it seemed acceptable to everyone (or most) so he posted this.
The forum catfished him so to speak.
@littleBlackbird what you describe is something so many men dont ever consider, and that is how being complimented for being attractive, or having your body and appearance even being part of an irrelevant conversation, can lead to discomfort and insecurity because it is shifting focus to beauty standards instead of the person inside . When the focus and attention is on looks , body, how pretty and cute one can be etc, so many stereotypes and ingrained sexualized behaviors can come to the forefront
@pmvines Absolutely and it isn’t just with this. Working in hospital for the past 11 years prior to this it was the same thing. I was consistently groped, I had to stop working at hospitals which required full first and last name on badges because patients would stalk me. I don’t mind a compliment but taking it upon themselves to comment on my body and weight is an unspoken boundary. Almost every person I meet does it male or female. Unless I’m asking for an opinion on my body weight I don’t expect it to be commented on. If you think I’m pretty then thank you but let’s leave it at that. Everyone’s idea of pretty is different anyway and context is everything. Don’t tell me “you’re so beautiful, you’re irresistible, I can’t control myself” while you’re trying to grab me or kiss me.
@littleBlackbird yeah, they are responsible for their own behaviors . That's the oldest rape defense in the book . But she was wearing this and doing that and was in that place with those people so I just had to do it right ??
And as you have pointed out , even people with a certain level of attractiveness still get insecure and self conscious , and want more than anything to be treated like a person instead of a photogenic sack of flesh . Unfortunately they can be very lonely, and have a hard time connecting with people who see them for themselves and not their looks. Hard time being taken seriously.
@bleukris86 thank you for posting the screenshot; the spineless misogynist couldn’t take the heat I guess. If you’re going to be terrible at least stand behind your statement.
@littleBlackbird i don’t comment on someone’s appearance positively (and certainly never negatively) because I am afraid it’s gonna be taken sexually, and really I just feel like it would be awkward to hear from someone, like a lesser form of being catcalled. I know that’s not how everyone feels and some want to hear it, but I’d rather just not risk making someone feel uncomfortable. As for being groped 😳 how can anyone just casually sexually assault someone omg 😭
The OP of this thread made their account, posted this 2 days later and within the last 24 hours has deleted their account. Seeing as they made the post be about the thread subject without giving any substance (by removing whatever they originally posted and replacing it with periods) I am tempted to close down the thread. However, while I haven't read through all 3 pages of responses, so far it seems there has still been a good discussion. I'm guessing the original post was venting, but will leave this up for now.
@reurbo thank you. The basis of the thread was whole heartedly misogynistic but it has created some good conversation, I think.
@Charlie_Bear the groping happens wayyy more than you think, especially within a certain culture who devalues women as a less than gender.
@Syins & @Charlie_Bear I 💯agree. It's uncomfortable being constantly objectified. I remember when I was living in NYC, I used to cringe each time I'm walking on the streets & being catcalled & followed on the streets & subway trains by perverts. It's horrible, the constant sexual harassment!
Just before the OP deleted his account, I looked at his account & noticed he is from Glendale, California. He was very insensitive & cruel for posting here, knowing that pro could easily read it & made her feel terrible. So good riddance.
@reurbo I agree with @bleukris86 in the comment below yours. The original post was problematic but it's turned into an interesting and useful thread which should be kept.
FYI the original post was screenshotted and posted within the thread in the last post of page 1.
@achetocuddle - Here is an emoji that you can feel free to use, if needed: 🍆. It sure does come in handy, if someone is acting a certain way. 🤣
@bleukris86 - Thanks for the screen shot! You also said:
you dont have a pic on your profile 🤔 interesting. I wonder how many pros show up to you and kick themselves for not charging you triple because of how you look. Btw, the pros on here make more than good $$...you can save your measly $120 and take yourself out to dinner, by yourself because I cant imagine too many people wanting to hang out with you.
It's always so interesting to see the people who have no profile pic talking about other people's looks. This is very common (especially on Facebook). There will be a bunch of comments made by faceless people, such as:
"This person is ugly", "This person is fat", "Why does this person think that outfit looks good?"
Yet, they don't even have a profile pic. 🙄 I'm likely not telling anyone anything new, but I'll say it anyway: generally, when people feel the need to put others down, it's because they have issues. I feel that most of the time they don't even realize that they have issues that need to be addressed.
OP could have been kinder in his post - period. It could have been worded MUCH differently and still gotten his point across.
I'm not concerned about looks, this is a platonic site, and as a pro I try to be as non-judgmental as possible. I do a Zoom call for 3 reasons: 1.) to be sure that the person is actually the person in the pictures, 2.) to see how reliable they are (if they can't show up for a Zoom call/remember that they have a Zoom call, they will most likely not remember that they have an in person session), and 3.) to discuss boundaries.
Sorry for resurrecting this thread, but I need to point out that in another thread, a woman pointed out that if she was paying for a pro man, he "might as well be attractive." There was some gentle push-back about looks not being the only thing that matters, but nothing close to the vitriol given to this guy, like accusations of sociopathy, misogyny, being called an ass, etc.