@Rezz
Would.you rather know upfront that said person hates cuddling via their profile wording so you can just avoid them or find out during the session you're paying for?
I mean I guess that makes sense, but what I'd really like is if people who don't want to cuddle just wouldn't be on the site. Relatedly, a couple times I've exchanged messages with a pro who clearly is really uncomfortable with the idea of meeting a stranger and cuddling. And I completely get that! Makes total sense to me. But like... that's the job you signed up for. Apparently you're here because the money appeals to you, but you get the money by doing the job. If you don't want to do the job you're just cluttering up people's search results.
@Mike_Girard Here's an example I saw recently on a pro's profile. It's definitely TMI, but does explain the situation,
UPDATE: Hi, I apologize if I take a while to respond, or if I don't respond at all. I have 100+messages/requests and I cannot get to all of them. I took a break from this website due to the fact that I was assaulted with my very first client. I DO NOT ACCEPT KISSING, I DO NOT ACCEPT GRABBING ON MY PRIVATES!!!
@Mike_Girard
The crap women recieve in their inbox is not only disgusting but overwhelmingly alarming for a site full of men claiming to be here for platonic cuddling. I can also attest that there's a great number of men here too! The bad can often outweigh the good though and it hurts everyone on all sides. Women feeling the need to be aggressive in their bios is a testament to this. Men feeling like they are criminals for simply existing here is an unfortunate side effect of the jackasses screwing it up for everyone else.
Yes there are women here who are also very "open minded" and want this attention. It pays their bills. We frown upon them and wish they'd leave here along with their creeps.
Welcome to the site! There's actually a supportive community here and cuddles to be found. 🤗
It's bad that so many people here of every kind and persuasion have had bad things happen and we feel it's necessary to do some of the things we do to protect our bodies, our feelings, etc.
I continue to be unhappy about the many nice good-intentioned people here who are not getting cuddles or have to make gargantuan efforts to try to have a nice platonic cuddle. If I traveled well, was a good driver and had gobs of gas money I would try to change that a little.
@CuddleWho
I absolutely agree!!!
I wish all the SWs, people here to make a quick buck, guys here to get a cheap thrill, rude, thieving members here would go elsewhere. Imagine how peaceful this place would be! No worries about men feeling like criminals meanwhile women could comfortably cuddling with strangers as an enthusiast. Physical needs are met on all sides. It would be 100% better for everyone.
Unfortunately that's not the case. Humanity doesn't work that way, right now.
It's why I use my block feature. I keep unattractive attitudes and people here for the wrong reasons out of my happy place. 🤗
I think it’s good when people express boundaries and explain the things they are not interested in. I however, will be completely turned off by someone writing in the manner that was described, i wouldn’t speak to anyone that way because i feel it’s rude and ugly.
But by all means, I think anyone should speak how they feel, it tells me a lot, and i will act accordingly. Most likely by paying them no attention. Not blocking or anything like that, just moving on.
Maybe tone was the wrong word but i interpret it as an attitude i want no parts of. But it’s cool, i have no problem with Not doing anything but i do have a problem with CANT doing somethings.
I'm a man and I don't feel attacked by women spelling out boundaries.
I would only be offended as a man if there's some kind of tribalism involved in my thinking (them vs us), or a need to minimize or deny women's experiences , or to engage in a level of privilege in which a minor inconvenience on my part outweighs a woman's safety or need for consent.
I don't imagine that the OP had any intention of starting a good dialogue, but it has turned out to be one. Thanks @CCboy Have a good weekend, for real.
I do enjoy posts from CCBoy, or formerly banned member aka "SmoothGent." His Austin post and this demonstrates a lot of his views.
Am I the only one who thinks the OP is . . . a bit negative?
I definitely will not deny that CCboy's posts are interesting. But I will never understand why some members try to shoot themselves in the foot unless they are sure they are thru cuddling or something.
I meant to say I know some will prefer I not travel to their neck of the woods to cuddle them and that is OK! I may agree with you I hope you find compatible cuddles. If you don't already post to the forum, I wish you would.
@achetocuddle WHAT DID YOU SAY?!! lol Be easy on yourself Clay Aiken!
@cylee1180 I know, I know. LOL. What can I say? I always want to communicate clearly and save my time and effort. If I can save other people's time and effort also, that's gravy on the potatoes. Wysiwyg. What you see is what you get. Lol.
Besides, I know how many people like my posts
I can understand that all caps and a show of anger on a profile can be off putting but it’s sad to me that some ppl seem genuinely offended at a woman being pushed to the brink of needed to capitalize on not sexually assaulting her.
Instead of getting pissy about someone writing this way in their profile, truly understand why they had to write this in the first place. You think it’s rude, she thinks it’s necessary. For those that aren’t offended or put off by this and understand why some women have this in their profile, they send a respectful message and possibly meet for an amazing cuddle.
If you are a respectful person and understand truly why some people have these boundaries written clear as day, this doesn’t apply to you. If you look at these frustrated women writing capitalized boundaries on their profiles and immediately think “so rude, so unprofessional, so uninviting”, she wouldn’t want to cuddle you either. Move on…
I fancy myself a Positive Percy. I also only write in lower case...
@Sheena123 This is what I would have said if I could have thought of it.
Initially I never imagined that I would have to write a deliberately somewhat off-putting profile just to make it where I could continue tolerate being here to chat with the people I do like.
Edited for content for personal attacks and baiting. Further comments like this will result in a suspension from the forums. [reurbo]
The OP is not a troll, as he has been around since 2021, and I think the venom directed at him is totally off base. I would personally not start a thread about it, but he is being truthful. I do the same—I immediately move on to the next person when confronted with a wall of negativity right off the bat. While it may not be directed at me, it immediately makes me feel like I am suspect in her eyes and it poisons the water for me.
Did he say it in a manner conducive to improvement and better ways to express her frustrations? No. But the profiles he is pointing out are not doing it in a constructive way either. Both the OP and the people he points out are justified in what they are saying but the presentation is wrong. He never said that women shouldn’t have boundaries and state them clearly, but if you are trying to get someone to pay you for any service you need to bring the positivity then at the end say here is a list of my rules, state them, and leave the caps out of it because your yelling do not is like saying you are guilty until proven innocent. The best pro profiles accomplish this in a non-confrontational manner while getting their point across.
If a male enthusiast started off a profile like this everyone on here would be offering every piece of “expert” advice on writing an inviting profile. My take is that is what @CCBoy was trying to convey, but the execution of putting his ideas into an inviting post fell short.
Presentation is everything.
@FunCartel - I get it.
The Catch-22 that women get stuck in is that even when we try to be nice about it we’re often told we’re being negative when, as a response to an infinite number of variations on a non-platonic theme, we feel compelled to create a list of things we are making plain we don’t want a cuddler to do. And they do it anyway. The negativity and all caps are probably the end result of too many transgressions. In Buddhism there are the lions at the gate who weed out the timid and only let the bold and worthy through. Perhaps these expressions are the lions at the gate.
Or maybe not. Maybe they are just grouches and one should just move on.
I kinda understand the OP. Stating some ground rules is totally fine and I encourage and appreciate the clear communication. Clear communication will almost always yield better results. Also makes them seem more genuine. But coming off too negative makes me wonder if they will also be negative in person even when it’s supposed to be a nice time. Which makes me want to pass.
But I also understand some cuddlers, though particularly women get inundated with inappropriate requests. As a guy it’s a world I don’t live in. And this is a filter they chose to try to get rid of some of the scum from the get go, and the negativity is not necessarily aimed at me but the situation they are in which I take into account. But not all active female cuddlers profiles are like this, so therefore there are other filtering methods.
It makes a lot of sense that reading a profile with a bunch of don'ts and can'ts makes some wonder if the person will be negative. Being reluctant to associate with a potentially negative person is different from starting a thoughtless thread about other's profiles not suiting you.
The way we word things matters, especially if you are trying to achieve a specific thing. You can pretty much tell who wants to have meaningful dialogue, who desires more understanding, who tries to consider everything and who doesn't want to do any of these things. Which ones of these we want to know and cuddle is up to us.
Communication is all well and good. But tone is another matter, no?
Once communication is established between a Cuddler and client (via PM) other details on boundary and such can be tactfully attained.
Just like making acquaintances in the physical world, I wouldn’t dream of meeting someone then leading off with all the things I hate.
A person like that, to me, would come off as rather inarticulate, high maintenance and a touch neurotic.
Unless those are the qualities you’re looking for in a cozy snuggle….