You mistook me for someone that even cares what you think on this. That is the whole point. For all your logic you can’t figure that out.
@FunCartel: I took you for someone willing to give me material to play with. And look! Here you are doing just that! Thank you.
@DarrenWalker Gotta keep the children entertained somehow. Any other toys I can get you?
@FunCartel: Your unselfish generosity is astounding.
More seriously—I do appreciate it. I like playing with you.
I really appreciate the things that some of you wrote. Littermate, your ideas are profound to me. I I am interested in your background or how you came to understand these things about keeping emotions separate from thoughts. I’ve never thought about it this way. Truly fascinating
DarrenWalker, Thank you, as always, for contributing. I really appreciate your ability to communicate and your perspective on things. I am very interested in neural activation patterns that you spoke about.
And Duncan, I really liked your ideas on being re-prioritized rather than on being rejected.
Thank you all very much for contributing. If there are more positive things to add, I’m here for it.
@DarrenWalker @CuddleDuncan @littermate
I have found from personal experience that the amount of rejection I feel is directly proportional to the past unhealed wounds.
I have done a lot (and still need to do a lot) of spiritual progress in last few years and these days I experience literally zero rejection even when I approach woman in person.
In short, if I didn't know she existed half an hour ago, why should I feel rejected in the first place? It's a skill-learn to shake it off.
Now, if you make the mistake of first attaching to the thing and only then approaching it, well-that's on you...
i was cuddling with non-pro, had 3 meets with her for long platonic times & after last 1, she got too busy even to respond to msgs & so i do feel rejected by her. Mayb she felt I want more than she cud provide or I not give enough? this was yr b4 C19.
@ChibiShema lifelong study of being human
@CUD_male There's a huge difference between not responding to a first message and not responding after you cuddled three times.
Common human decency dictates at least one message along the lines of "Thanks, but no" if she can't be bothered to have a short phone call that she can end at any time.
Unfortunately, this decency is in a sharp decline in current society.
personally, I expect rejection and/or that every single person I meet isn’t going to like me right away. I don’t think anything of it when it happens. besides I’m happy just to be in my own company. I don’t need people in my life or to be accepted by others to make me feel valid.
@Siberian76 - yes - still no word, any format, from her, so not reaching out anymore since than - as she was from here - no longer active so maybe found another way to meet her touch needs.
I've only kinda felt this with a pro cuddle lady through this site. Our first session was beyond amazing. So of course had to have another session when she came back to my area. She came back, and we was doing a 2 hour time frame. Something felt off as soon as I got to where she was but I blew the feeling off and tried to keep in a good mood and energy. About half way through the session we was talking and basically she was calling me and the people I hung with stupid and what we was doing was stupid. The last 45 minutes after the conversation I felt rejected and lonely as I just laid there staring out the window. I wish now I would have just ended the session and headed home.
Scars come with living
Rejection is a natural risk when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable. You could say it's the occasional price we have to pay when we try to expand our emotional palette.
It's ok to feel that way, no matter the reason. Feelings like this need to be accepted and processed so we can learn to work with them in a healthy way, without placing too much blame on those around us.
I enjoyed the earlier comment on how facing feelings with logic is illogical. They're two differing methods of communication and should be treated as such.
I feel rejection in life in general for different reasons. . Cant say it's a daily phenomenon, or something that really impacts me. I've pretty much learned to deal it and it isnt something that influences my life choices. But at one point it was pretty hard to deal with .
🥺... I think I've been ghosted. Boo for reals!!
🥺... I think I've been ghosted.
Are you covered in ectoplasma?
Sorry to hear that @quixotic_life. It sucks when connections seemingly end without reason or resolution.
Ghosts are scary.
@quixotic_life being ghosted is really the worst feeling in the world, because they leaving you with no closure. But know it has nothing to do with you, this type of person have no respect for other's feelings, don't know how to process their own {if they have any}, are absolutely immature and remember that you are 100% better without them in your life. Stay strong 🤗🤍
@RainsCuddle I get where you're coming from but I'm not sure villifying the other person is the best option.
The point here is, we don't know why they do what they do. So why throw fire into a hole for which we can't see the bottom? Breeding contempt for an unexplainable situation doesn't help in the long wrong; we see it all the time on forums like this that tell men to stop getting angry when they don't hear from others - particularly women - they reach out to. It's just not healthy in the long term.
Best case scenario, ghosting is an incompatibility presenting itself. Nothing wrong with incompatibility. Just have to walk away.
Worst case, why give power to the ghoster by getting mad at them? They don't even know you, why let them control your emotions?
@quixotic_life ... getting ghosted sucks. I have tried to start using is as a tool for healing though. It allows me to sit with and examine my feelings. If need be I can spend some time talking with the inner portion of myself it activates with the intention of trying to heal or at least validate the part of me that my not had validation in the past. It still sucks and hurts though!
The worst pain that a human being can experience is the pain of rejection . It even exceeds the pain of grief. Although some may beg to differ on this , I still reckon it is true. The best you can do about it is - tell yourself you won’t let another suffer this pain at your hands. If you must let someone down, don’t let them fall , lest ye be unkind unto them..🙏🏽
Even when you know someone is not right for you, rejection hurts. I guess it is grief from hope and possibility that had died. 🫤
Meditate
Learning to accept rejection is a useful life skill.
I suspect we’re biologically wired to find rejection very unpleasant. When we we still hunter-gatherers, being rejected by our group meant death. That is not the case now but our neurobiology hasn’t really changed. What’s changed is our ability to think about it and change our experience by changing our thinking. We’re able to remind ourselves that we are not, in fact, going to die and there are lots of possibilities in the world besides this particular person or thing that we thought we wanted.
I think the better I build my self-esteem, the more "shock-proof" I am. I think it's a good way to cover the bases. I build my mind, body, and spirit with martial arts, Latin dancing, self-help, and meditation (therapy in the past as well).