Run, Run, Runaway Run.....

Pat871Pat871
in General

P1: Next year I'd like to run away to Tulsa.

Adulthood is HARD!!!

It's still better than being a teen though as you have much more money, independence & freedom.

But my god when you turn 25 the stress and reality of society and life in general really hits you all at once.

It's hard when you're a conservative and 99% of your friends are progressive. You butt heads and end friendships all the time.

Why can't we all just agree to disagree???

Or just drop topics???

Sigh.

Life is NOT fair.

My favorite movie 'Labyrinth' taught me that ages ago, but the message is only sinking into my veins just NOW.

Part of me thinks that if things can't be perfect, if things can't be fair, what's the point of anything existing at all?

You could end everything the dark way,

But I'd rather 'end things' the OTHER way.

Run away to Tulsa!

Tell no one where I am going.

Just disappear without a trace.

Get a new name even. Not Patricia anymore.

Once I'm in Tulsa I will have an easier time attending Hanson day each year on May 6th.

And maybe I'll FINALLY get to cross paths with, and marry Ezra.
Taylor's oldest son/child. The oldest child among all three of them.

He's nearly 20.

Then I can become a Hanson myself so there is no need to feel sad every day anymore.

This plan was inspired by the Hanson song:

'Runaway Run.'

So aside from listening to MMMBop on repeat for the entire plane ride over, I'll also be listening to 'Runaway Run' a lot too for the vibe.

I'll get myself a 5 year working in the U.S. visa, so I have something to live on during my 5 year holiday, whilst I set up my new life with my new identity.

No one from this life will know that I am over there.

Maybe I'll find love?

I've been single over four years now.

Maybe I'll find......

Jordan-Ezra Hanson.

And maybe he'll feel the same way I do.

If it turns out that he's already taken maybe I'll find a girlfriend instead who is also a Fanson like me, so we will automatically be a perfect match.

P2: You're not normal.

Your entire life is now SPINNING around this band that you've known about for less than 5 months.

And you've already got plans to run away to there home town, to increase your chances of becoming a Hanson yourself.

Are you OK!?!?

P1: No P2 I am NOT Ok. Hence why I am on CC looking for cuddles. As aside from this fantasy of running away and leaving everyone and everything behind to 'start over' as a Hanson on the other side of the world, CUDDLING is the only other thing that is helping me out of this rut. This rut I call life.

P2: Hows the cuddling progress going?

P1: The universe seems to be in my FAVOR!!! More people are messaging me expressing their interest after I wrote how depressed I felt and how hopeless I found finding a cuddle buddy on this site, despite being a girl.

Some members on the other side of the world who obviously can't see me are saying that they WOULD see me if they could.

Some pro's on the other side of the world said they'd do it pro-bono if I ever visited the U.S. Which warms my heart.

And to top it all off, one kind gentleman even offered to help me PAY for a Pro, as I made it clear the other day that I am not in a position to afford one right now with debts and all. So this website is proving to me that there is still some love, some good in the world.

'Where's the love!?!? It's not enough!? It makes the world go round and round and......'
Quote Hanson.

P2: So.... maybe you don't need to go ahead with this crazy, nonsensical plan after all. Maybe you can stay here and just.... have a hug?

P1: You know what else I'd like to do??? Go to Cash Converters to buy some DRUMS!!!! Then I can get my SW to give me 'Zac braids' and then I can bang on them like a female version of Zachary Hanson. I also saw a bass guitar there which could be fun... But I think the drums would be funner!

P2: Where are you gonna be placing these DRUMS!? You live in a FLAT!!! You'd need to sacrifice your dance space for the drums. You'd need to give up one hobby to take up that new hobby.

P1: Yeah... IDK... Drums are just fun I suppose.

P2: And how are you gonna be getting these DRUMS to Tulsa!? How are you gonna be getting all of your HANSON merchandise to Tulsa!? You'd need three extra suitcases.... or is that staying behind? Like your family?

P1: I can buy new drums once in Tulsa. Become Hanson's drummer. And I can easily carry extra baggage for the entire Hanson collection...

P2: You can NOT take it all with you! It takes up HALF OF YOUR FLAT!!!!! You're gonna have to be selective and leave some behind. And Hanson already HAS a drummer.... I'm confused are you becoming a family member or a BAND member?!?!?!

P1: I don't see why I can't be BOTH things?? They're a family band after all.

But the most amazing thing about this plan isn't just that I'd be in Hanson land, but that no one from my old life will know where I am. As far as I know they'd have no way of tracking my steps or 'stalking' me, which would be very much illegal.

P2: What about your BIOLOGICAL children???? Remember all those times you made those donations at that clinic?

P1: Ohh..... Good point. They're legally allowed to track me down once they turn 18.... But they're all WAYYYY off 18.... None of them are even old enough for school yet. And I probably won't still be in Tulsa in 18 years time.... Visa's expire.

And they're not REALLY my children I was just helping sterile couples have families.

P2: That won't matter to them they'd most likely want to meet you once they're adults, and they are allowed to track you, and hence expose your location.

P1: That's FINE. My 'babies' are allowed to know where I am if I'm still there by then. Just no one else can know. So that's all good. They might be happy to learn that their biological mummy is married to and potentially has a kid with the son of a member of a famous band. They'd have a Hanson sibling.

P2: Oh god....

P1: Does that make the donor kids Hanson's too?..... No wait. Nah..... Doesn't work that way.

P2: Why are you writing a blog post in Cuddle Comfort?!?!?! It's a little bit weird....
Especially in this 'self-conversation' style.....

P1: Because on Cuddle Comfort I am ANONYMOUS my friends and 'family' read my other blog and they can't know about my plan to run away to Tulsa without a trace. If they DID know, it wouldn't really be 'running away.' It would just be 'moving.'
It doesn't matter if strangers know... And also the topics of this blog post ARE related to the world of cuddling and emotions, which is what this site is for anyway.

P2: So.... This is it.. You're just gonna 'drop' everything and run away.... to be adopted by a new family on the other side of the world..... new identity and a new life?

P1: What can I say??? I'm broken. This life is broken. Time to end this life. And start a new one.

P2: 😔

P1: And there are a TON of Pro's in the U.S. PLENTY to choose from. There are only three pro's on this site in Melbourne. Ones a man so he's out if the question. Being a girl I have NO PROBLEM finding men to cuddle for free, if that's what I'm after. One of the women charges too much, and the other woman isn't available for a little while. So yeah the Pro's on CC in Melbourne are limited and....... not too accessible. So one other great thing about becoming a U.S. citizen is that I can dive into a sea of cuddle pro's!

Whom might make me feel SOOOOO much better.......

That maybe, just maybe, one day, I could return home. 😊

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Comments

  • zerocantaloupezerocantaloupe

    No offense, but it appears to me that you've got some issues that need to be unpacked, possibly through therapy.

    No matter where you go, there you are.

  • ShaneSchruteShaneSchrute
    edited October 2022

    @Pat871 Have you visited Tulsa? That would be a great idea to get your bearings about your plans. I’ve moved to places where I’ve known almost no one but I’ve always visited a few times in different seasons first.

    I’m not conservative but I have friends who are; two I’m very close with. It’s important to not live in an endless feedback loop of just your own beliefs.

    You have a drive/plan/goal and that’s awesome! I love seeing that. As Joesph Campbell says, “Follow Your Bliss.”

  • warm_embracewarm_embrace

    Here’s some info on Tulsa you might want to consider before you decide to move there.

    If I were you, I’d live in Austin and just go to Tulsa to visit the Hansons... It’s only a 1 hour flight away. 🤗😊

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    Uh, I have no idea what Melbourne is like as I have never been, but Tulsa is, for a lack of a better word, drab. It is not completely a dump, but it is colorless for the most part. Nothing memorable about the place at all. I have been in and through Tulsa countless times. It is an oil town and it looks the part.

    However, if you are super conservative, it is your town. Oral Roberts is there and needs no explanation, and the University of Tulsa is a private Presbyterian university. Politically the sheet below shows all the representatives at the state and national level from Tulsa. Note the Rs which stands for Republicans and is the Conservative party here.

    https://www2.tulsacounty.org/media/oc0byuwc/electedofficials.pdf

    Historically, this is the event Tulsa is most famous for:

    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tulsa_race_massacre

    Just giving you information to make an informed decision.

    For those who live in Tulsa, this is about the city, not you.

  • zerocantaloupezerocantaloupe

    Also, not to open a political can of worms, but the world definition of liberal and conservative is quite different from the American definition. Basic functions that even conservatives agree to in most industrialized countries are considered far-left in the US.

  • ShaneSchruteShaneSchrute

    @zerocantaloupe yeah the party called the “Liberal Party” in Australia is the centre-right political party or conservative one. That’s really confusing to Americans because we call liberals left leaning and conservatives right leaning.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    That’s really confusing to Americans because we call liberals left leaning and conservatives right leaning.

    That’s wonderful because the Tower of Pisa will look upright to Americans. Everything is a matter of perspective.

  • ShaneSchruteShaneSchrute

    @FunCartel oh ok.

  • DaringSprinterDaringSprinter

    Twenty-six years old. From Melbourne, Australia.

    Romantically interested in the son of an American pop singer.

    Thinks marrying into that pop singer's family will remove the "need to feel sad every day." Has enough fan junk (for that pop singer's band specifically) to fill half her current flat. Is planning to go to his son's hometown where she'll use a new name so no one who knows her will be able to find her.

    Huh.

    I think we're looking at a possible stalker here, folks.

  • warm_embracewarm_embrace

    @DaringSprinter, your comment seems harsh and unwarranted, imho.

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    Or maybe she's just daydreaming to brighten her day a little and judgment of her post isn't required...

  • DaringSprinterDaringSprinter

    @warm_embrace and @WriterGF: Eh, maybe. Maybe swap the genders and see how you feel about it. Or remove them altogether and just look at what's described. Looks like obsession to me.

    Maybe it's harmless daydreaming. And maybe it's a warning sign. Could go either way. Me, I think the possibility of danger is worth pointing out.

  • zerocantaloupezerocantaloupe

    I mean, that mmm bop hits hard...

  • warm_embracewarm_embrace

    My runaway fantasy does not involve Tulsa or the Hansons. I want to move to a small dusty desert town in New Mexico or Arizona and get a job as a janitor at a roadside dive bar in exchange for letting me sleep there after close. I would let my hair and beard grow, and I would be know as “Sweep-up Sam”. Every couple of months I would disappear and use my retirement savings to stay at a 5 Star Resort Spa, somewhere exotic, for a week or two. Then go back to being Sweep-up Sam until the next time I disappear.

  • Pat871Pat871

    @DaringSprinter

    I'm not a stalker. I'm just depressed. It's complicated.

    And their concert is coming up in a months time where I'll get to meet them backstage if I win a meet n greet and I'll get to talk to Taylor. I'll give him my details to pass on to his son, and ask him to ask his son to contact me.

    It's a first step to getting my foot in the door to becoming a Hanson myself.

    There is also 17 year old Penelope Hanson I could try and get with once she turns 18, but I can't have a combined Hanson baby with her so I'm gonna try Ezra first. Then I could be the mum to Taylor's grand child.

  • Pat871Pat871

    @warm_embracewarm_embrace

    Sounds like a LOVELY fantasy! Good luck sweep up Sam!

  • Pat871Pat871

    @zerocantaloupezerocantaloupe

    😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

  • pmvinespmvines

    Isn't it strange how we all get a little bit weird sometimes

  • Pat871Pat871

    @pmvinespmvines

    OMG YESSSS!!!!

    That is the most RELATABLE song by them!!!!

    Partly why I love them so much.

    They make music that I can relate too. One of my favorite songs by them.

  • achetocuddleachetocuddle

    @Pat871 You seem depressed to me and not a stalker. I hope your depression gets better.

    My sis just told me today that people that commit suicide are selfish. I thought to myself "Spoken just like someone who doesn't understand depression and suicidal thoughts". She hurt my feelings saying that, but she will never know. Just another unnecessary burden for me from someone who is not depressed and has no clue about it.

    This is just to say I know depression manifests in different ways and I'm glad you are still posting. Be well.

  • quixotic_lifequixotic_life

    Um... aren't you "No Penises" Pat?

    Just wondering because if under a pseudonym, an eligible male Hanson wanted to get some respite during their UK tour, and they looked up cuddlers there (as I'm sure a Hanson would) they would be instantly blocked by you - You could be dashing your own hopes and dreams without ever knowing it!!

    But hey, maybe you'll score the back stage pass, and they won't think you angling for their son (that you haven't met) is perfectly fine and dandy, and all your fantasies (from the last few months) will come true...

    Good luck!!

  • Pat871Pat871

    @achetocuddle

    Yes thank you for understanding me.

    When I am depressed I usually like to day dream about what scenario would make me the happiest.

    And atm the most happy thing for me would be to become a Hanson.

    Hanson is the only thing I truly care about right now. I have no life outside of them so I may as well marry into their family.

  • dave31415dave31415

    @zerocantaloupe That’s not necessarily true. For example most of the behavior that is often labeled woke or politically correct is primarily an American thing. In most countries, they find that crazy just like we used to here. I wouldn’t say America is more left or more right than the rest of the World. It depends on the issue and also the place.

  • JubalJubal
    edited October 2022

    @Pat871 Not trying to minimize what you're going through, but wait till you become self-employed and have to deal with paying self-employment taxes in addition to income taxes. Or worse yet, you become an employer and have to deal with paying FICA taxes and unemployment for your employees.

    That's where the real fun begins. The IRS does not have a sense of humor on these subjects. B)

    Oh, and Labyrinth is a cool movie!

  • Pat871Pat871

    @quixotic_life

    I LOVE penises actually. I day dream about penises all the time.

    I just don't want to cuddle anyone on CC who is male (aka has a penis) because I have more than enough male cuddle buddies/friends whom I've met from other areas of my life outside of CC. I don't want or need anymore guys to cuddle and even if I did it's not hard to find them in real life outside of the internet.

    But I don't have enough FEMALE cuddle buddies, they're hard to find in real life away from the internet. Hence why I joined CC to help me even out the numbers of men & women to cuddle.

    I was FORCED to say "no penises" and be super blunt, because for some reason when I say "no men" it does NOT get through to them and they push their luck with me anyway, saying they'll "become a woman just for me."

    I'm not sure if they're dumb, desperate, or just being cocky smart asses.

    But since changing it from "no men" to "no penises" I haven't had a single disrespectful PITA man pushing his luck with me on here. So although it is blunt, it was definitely the right move. So I'm keeping it.

    I'm happy to CHAT with men on here about the world of cuddling, or just about any topic really, so long as we don't have plans to meet up. So long as he's not after a cuddle from me.

    Also, I feel like I have already explained this 100000 times now.

    This post of mine about running away to Tulsa to live with Hanson due to my depression had nothing to do with my "no penises" policy.

    I'd appreciate it if it was never bought up again, I'm so sick of explaining it.

    I won't be repeating myself about my reasons behind that section of my bio again.

    I won't be responding to any responses regarding this comment either. Especially not Sprinters.

    Have a good day. xx

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    I wonder how Jame Gumb fits into that scenario? Is there a “Tuck Rule”?

  • achetocuddleachetocuddle

    @Pat871 have a good day.

  • dave31415dave31415

    @Pat871 I congratulate you on the great opening line. “I LOVE penises actually”. 😆

  • Pat871Pat871

    @dave31415

    Whats not to love about them?

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    Whats not to love about them?

    I don’t know about you, but I don’t trust one-eyed bishops.

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