It's so hard not to take things personally. You are growing and learning to take things more in stride, things that don't materialize are not meant for you and that can be a lesson on how to be discerning.
I appreciate the the love and support that I have received so far. It gives a glimpse of hope that maybe it isn’t me after all and it could happen to anyone. I just wish this wasn’t so hard to overcome
I definitely know how this feels. I've gotten used to the fact and know that I probably won't get a reply of they aren't a pro. But not always. In my experience the enthusiast who I talk to would either 1. Eventually delete or deactivate their profile or 2. Be someone too far away in another state. I will say I was recently surprised when I messaged a local pro and got no response at all when their profile seemed to indicate that they are a friendly individual and to ask any questions. It wasn't a case of not logging in, as they logged in several times after the initial message and viewed my profile. I waited about a week and sent a follow up just to make sure it didn't get lost somewhere. I will admit that did sting a little, but I will just move on.
Oh yes! And in life too
No matter the site, community, place, plane of existence...i get rejected
What @PeopleLikeUs said!
@Dinah87 it absolutely does happen to everybody. It's not you.
For a start, it's just part of how the modern world works. If a stranger from the internet sends you an unsolicited message you are not obliged to reply. And most people don't.
At the risk of straying into romantic territory, the first time I ever asked a girl out I was 11. It was to the school dance. This wasn't some random girl, we knew each other quite well and I really liked her. All this is in person of course. Without a moment's hesitation she said, and I quote precisely, "I'll go with you if Michael doesn't ask me."
@CuddleDuncan Oof. There's a wonder years episode about that. Kevin asks girl to dance, Zach Morris from saved by the bell guest stars in episode and asks out same girl who changes her mind. Painful. Poor Kevo.
@cylee1180 d'you know I haven't thought about that in some years but I'm re-living the pain right now. I've just realised that a little corner of my heart has never recovered.
@CuddleDuncan Yeah, when you're 13, 17, or 21, that stuff means the world to you along w your reputation (identity influenced by perception of peer group). Yeah the girls that didn't like me at 13 ended up liking me at 17 and 23. I got the last laugh buahaha. But yeah, teens are mean and most of them grow out of it. I def got marked up in adolescence, but here I am.
@CuddleDuncan Had the same thing happen to me senior prom. As it turned out, he did ask her.
@Dinah87 It happens to all of us! Not everyone on this site will connect. When the right friends or cuddle buddies are made, from perspective the risks/efforts are worth it!
Dinah, sending healing energies to you, when people are rude, by not responding, it is a them problem, not a you problem, although it’s impossible not to feel how you feel, that makes perfect sense Anyway, I am sending big big hopes you find your person soon, and that today you say kind words to your inner being, and give good care to yourself through the day
Rejection is such a strong word. I have found that folks are quick to jump into things before they are really ready.
This cuddle concept here should be for people sharing positive energy. What I have felt and seen is that there are a few folks who are mentally not ready and already going through some issues and in hope that this will provide all the answers. In doing so, they already have a template person in their minds that they look for.
I feel that they are only rejecting themselves and not you. You can't share what you don't have and this cuddle activity challenges that as you can't really fake your true nature. So, do not doubt yourself, let the love flow and attract what your soul is calling out for. Success 🙏
A single reply, then no further interaction
I go through the same thing. I am just someone that people want to use for their own purposes.
@Freddy4cuddles Very deep! 👏👏👏
A good forum topic would be CuddleD’s response to Conn1977 post about (a man) saying someone is beautiful while trying to convince them to cuddle with you. I agree with CuddleD and think men should not be giving looks-based comments to females on CC’s platform. I can see it as intimidation on the females perspective. They already know they’re beautiful. Just wait to give comments based on looks until you meet them. I doubt they’re going to agree to cuddle with someone just because someone said they’re beautiful. I would expect rejection from a female if I’m calling them beautiful in order to convince them to cuddle with me.
@CuddleDuncan after sending 100 messages. At begins to feel like rejection. Thinking "something's wrong with me if noone ever responds."
Its not a great place to live mentally.
Only all the time. I try to tell myself that my happiness isn’t based on which strangers do and don’t want to hang out with me.
And they know almost nothing about me, except how I look in a picture. If they are going to pass me up for something like that, it sounds like someone I don’t want to hang out with anyway.
Best of luck, keep your head up.
Also, somewhat related but I can’t even open one of my dating apps for the sheer anxiety of it. The pain of being unmatched, ignored, and ghosted, then, after long last, finally meeting up with someone just to feel like you’ve disappointed them, over and over again has taken its toll on me. I’m trying to approach it in a healthier way or else just be done with dating apps altogether.
It's crazy how people don't want to respond with a simple not interested. There is a lot of rejection for no reason. I'm sure it's because they are the jerk not because you sent a message.
I get "rejected" all the time. I usually don't take offense. I look for a specific vibe when I'm looking for a cuddle buddy so I assume other people do to and I just don't have the vibe there searching for. As for the topic of saying someone's beautiful being rude , Sometimes women just don't want to hear that, probably because women are so sexualized in society. It's not wrong to think someone is beautiful, and it's not wrong to say it, but it can just make a lot of women uncomfortable. A better option might be to say your cute or adorable or something that is a more snuggly way to say it that can also be taken as a compliment on there personality, and after you actually have spent time and know each other.
@penwah true, but many people will see this in many ways like
1” nobody owes another person an explanation 2” don’t wanna hurt someone else’s feelings 3” silence should be a perfectly acceptable no not interested 4” tried to politely say no, not interested only to receive rudeness or pushiness 5” list keeps going.
@Dinah87
This was a really nice thread & made everyone vulnerable, showed that we’ve all been there Don’t take it hard, everyone is not for everybody… no matter the capacity whether it be dating, friendly, Social, ect I genuinely believe we’ve all made someone feel this way as well, whether we noticed it or not, (if we look at our pm’s right now I’m sure we all have several people we just didn’t see a fit, and we probably made them feel this way although it wasn’t our intention, we probably didn’t even realize it … it just stings a bit when its the other way around but that’s a reality for all of us and not specific to anyone. Ty for an awesome thread 🌌
It's the same with online dating, there could be a million different reasons why. The only thing that actually matters is that there is a reason why, unfortunately youl never know. Don't be disheartened, you can find another I also tried talking to people a few times on here and one person gave me a number to text but then just didn't respond after like 2 texts.
I think the very nature of this stuff makes a lot of people a little shy or unsure. I wouldn't blame yourself or let it get you down
Personally, I creep a lot of profiles as a lurker and I have no intention of messaging lol. When somebody scopes my profile and doesn't message, I admittedly think "What the hell, I'm nice!" - or if we exchange messages and you never visit my profile, rude bro lol. At least creep me back! Its easy to take these as rejections but I've come to learn that a lot of people are just busy. If you message a high rated pro, they most likely have business sense and will respond to you in a timely matter, regardless of appearance. Stay away from us friendless, low karma, guys lol. We are lurkers and I will ghost, hard! 👻
@penwah There's also the concept of "engage and enrage." You don't know who you're dealing with or how they will react to rejection, so some people may feel safer simply saying nothing at all.
@WriterGF That's how I feel.
Stones in glass houses.
Yeah, but I have a wicked cool sling shot
Yes I have . I've been ghosted by people who i had built relationships with outside of the site as well as on and poof, just stop hearing from them. Doesnt happen often but when it does , sure doesnt feel great. Doesnt really make me upset , just is more disappointing really. Especially when the connection was genuine and real. I do try to see things from their angle, like that perhaps they are going through some things and need space, or that they dont really have time or capacity to be friends. And I know that for me , I do have a hard time keeping in touch as well and tend to like my space. So it's a 2 way street , perhaps they get tired of waiting for me to get my shit together and its really my fault that they ghost me . Who knows. Interweb is a big sea and we are all just tiny minnows trying to find each other before the whales gobble us whole .