@CuddleDuncan
I'm not upset at the exchange, I'm just surprised that in a community so based in respect first and foremost, that when I apologized for an honest mistake, the assumption is that I was disrespectful... I requested more details, received a one word response, realized what I did and apologized, and the person block me without any response or anything. I wasn't pursuing anything further after I realized, but even more important than a potential customer - I'm a community member. She could've said "no problem, contact me if you're able to add a photo" and that would've been the end.
Your assumption of bad intent IMHO reflects more on you than it does on my benign mistake. Human first. Not only do you give no grace or allow for mistakes, but you assume bad intent. How disappointing
@everyone else, I'm so pleased at the variety of responses and opinions, and appreciate this discussion very much.
I understand it's possible she thought I was wasting her time, and I also feel like she could've been nicer about it - but I feel happy seeing how people here are focused on kindness for the most part. Thanks.
While the response may have seemed a bit short and unpleasant, I can see why some may require a picture. If you've got nothing to hide, I don't see why providing a picture would be that big of a deal. The pros here are mostly warm people and aren't going to judge or deny someone based on their appearance. I generally am a private person, but I feel like this community is one where I can feel somewhat safe, and I tried to put as many pictures on my profile as possible to give different views, and increase my chances of finding potential enthusiasts to cuddle with. It also works so the pros can view for their own sense of safety and comfort. I'm not the most confident in my looks, but I don't let that stop me, as I feel a fleshed out profile will get better results here. This also usually eliminates the need for me to send a new picture through messages, as I rarely like to take selfies of myself, however if for some reason I was asked for an additional photo (strange as it may seem), I would comply if that was requested by a pro I wanted to see.
The only reasons I could see for not either having pictures on a profile or sending it to someone who asks to see who you are before a cuddle are you have something to hide (such as doing this behind a significant other's back, are a banned member back here, or really are afraid of someone recognizing you for some reason), are really self conscious, or... actually I can't think of more reasons.
While nobody has to do something they aren't comfortable with, I'd say then expect it both ways, and be more patient when it comes to trying to find someone to cuddle with (pro or otherwise). It may take longer.
@CSnMUS87 I can't disagree with anything you said, but for personal reasons I can't allow my picture out. It has to do with protection of those in my care.
@bddole Well then I wish you the best of luck and truly hope you will find someone who will give you a chance/benefit of the doubt and that all will go well without anything bad. Then might lead to some good karma and help with future cuddling.
@bddole
Pretty much anytime anyone has ever said they weren't comfortable sending a pic just yet and wanted to chat a bit, always followed it up with some sexual request. It's a VERY common tactic that the pro may have recognized and blocked to avoid you in the future.
I'm not insinuating that this is your motive but a massive red flag many of us notice and act on.
So if you're finding a lack of response or that you're suddenly blocked, this could very well be why.
@bddole Let me answer your questions based on my experience. In terms of the community, you will find all types of people. Some are extremely rude, some are super sensitive, some are pleasant etc. My experience has been mixed. If you deem a professional to be rude, it's a good idea to avoid and find someone you vibe with. Good thing you found out before you spent your hard earned money on someone you are not compatible with. Imagine if the professional was "rude" during your session. Also, it works both ways. If you are not comfortable sending a picture until you are ready to meet the individual you can find a professional that respects that. It wouldn't be rude to block a professional that doesn't respect your boundaries. The professionals in my area typically asked for a photo before the meetup without issues. Good luck.
This is not directed at the OP but in general so many profiles without photos claim to work for the government or be in secret sensitive jobs that would cause serious problems. With so many government workers on here no wonder our economy is in shambles. And here I thought it was married men or guys with girlfriends and they don’t wanna get caught! I was wrong. But seriously I’m sure there maybe a “few” people not married or have a girlfriend that need to keep confidential but so many? Sniff sniff what’s that I smell? Photos are for the professionals and enthusiasts safety especially like others have said potentially banned members hiding behind excuses. In any case good luck to all legitimately trying to connect with a cuddler and hopefully all experiences are cordial and gentle.
The block option is useful in time management, she was just managing her time. Maybe it offended you but she’s not really doing anything but removing access.
I'd have to agree with most of what @CuddleDuncan said. I understand you're hurt and how her reply could've come off cold especially in a place that seems it should be anything but that. But to many, this is a business service and neglecting any stated rule from the very beginning isn't a good sign and some just have no time or patience for it.
@bddole I am not going to judge your initial post because we do not have her side of the story. But please, if you are interested enough in a pro who has a pic posted, do the courtesy of including a pic of yourself in your initial message as that eliminates a lot of awkwardness and you may even get a compliment in return. More importantly, you are imparting a crumb of trust in her that she will appreciate and consider while making her decision. At least that would seem to be the empathetic way of doing it. It works for me. I can’t be alone in this thinking.
I kind of liken this to the old "No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service" signs. Businesses can make reasonable rules about who they are interested in serving. Ignore those rules and it's doubtful they will respond by sweetly asking how your day is going ... they will just boot you out.
@wilderdude exactly.
He's already trying to see how much he can get away with without being held accountable. It's annoying to do that. Then to bow out, call her rude, be upset all because you didn't care to follow the posted rule.
Be happy she offered the reminder, too much courtesy right there if you ask me. You really don't know how creeps operate on here I'm assuming.
@CudAng1421 "See how much he can get away with"? barely. I owned up to it - and I also made a mistake. It costs her nothing to say "sorry, please refer to my rules!"
Apologizing is literally the only thing I can do when I make a mistake - and expecting no mistakes at all is inhumane.
And @WriterGF regarding businesses with "no shirt..." policies - it's fair to say "Sorry, you must wear a shirt to be in here!" - it's another to say "shirt?" and then when the person says - "oh, sorry, it's on the beach and I can't get it right now" - you just slam the door in their face.
@Rezz That makes much sense. If based in your experience, a certain kind of message results in 90% or more inappropriate behavior, why take that risk when someone who messages in the proper way is way more likely to be respectful.
I’m not going to go 10 mph over the speed limit in front of a police officer just because sometimes they don’t pull people over in these situations.
I have to say that I always ask for a picture early in the conversation. It definitely makes me feel way more comfortable and yes if we are going to meet ☺️ you kind of have to show me what you look like lol.
@bddole Her rule was clearly stated up front. A lot of pros would not have even written to remind you about it. And based on what you stated about your reason for not wanting to send a picture, you would not have been able to send one and the deal would have gone nowhere anyway.
I understand her reason for blocking you, BUT the one-word response is definitely off-putting and mechanical. I don't even talk to people like that, who only see others on this site as commodities or products and can't even have a human conversation. She definitely did you a favor. In the future, maybe start your message off by saying you're not comfortable sending your photo. You probably won't get many sessions like that, but at least youd be upfront.
if she’s under the age of 30 her mindset is probly garbage in any case
I’ve never encountered that problem because whenever I send a message whether it’s a pro or an enthusiast I always include a couple of pics. So it’s pretty much a non issue for me. The only time I don’t include a pic is when I receive an unsolicited message from a pro in another state where I’m not planning to go in the near future. In those cases I respond with a pleasantry but no pic.
@taco_libre…..
Dude, you’re 29…
She was unprofessional for the one word reply, but you also said that your questions were against her rules. If she blocked you for just the pic thing, it's excessive, and I'd say have a good day. If you didn't read her profile thoroughly and missed more than just her first rule, it becomes a little more understandable
@bddole you have not corrected the mistake, you replied to her without explaining its a security issue for you. I can almost garuntee its a security issue for the pro which is why its the first rule.
You were actually 100% trying to see what you could get away with. I gathered that from the example you gave about the no shirt. It's not the way people want to work and that's fine, just be upfront instead of excited, explain things. She did nothing wrong.
@CudAng1421 uh, no.
Oh well 🤷 Try the next pro. It doesn't feel great to be blocked or suspected of wrongdoing when you are new and putting your heart out there, but reality is that new members without karma, pictures or profiles need additional scrutiny. I know I needed a bit of attitude adjustment to consider risk from both sides.
@taco_libre lol!!!! Ummmm…. What? 😂
I have a long and detailed profile, explaining exactly how to book a session and all of my requirements yet prospective clients regularly send me messages that indicate that they either did not read my profile, did not remember it or completely disregarded it. I used to get very frustrated and be a short with these people either because I felt like they were inconsiderate or that they were predatory going to be boundary pushers. However, I have grown as a person and realize that it can be overwhelming and they may be looking at many profiles and have trouble remembering all of it and there are a lot of confused people who do not understand what they need or think get their nonplatonic needs met here. And that it’s best to meet those people with compassion and patience and point them in another direction if they are here for the wrong reasons rather than get angry, and call them creeps and pervs, etc.
If you are a prospective client here, please understand that us pros, especially the new ones often have to deal with clients that are disrespectful, push boundaries, waste our time or even commit sexual assault. Having to deal with this kind of behavior can make ones patience wear thin and their compassion grow weak, they become more worried about their own safety than being polite to the client. When I used to be like this, I would come off very cold and strict during the screening process where I would do an intake call, but then when it was time for the session, and I felt safe with the client, I would be very warm and friendly like I normally am. It was my way of filtering out clients that could potentially be dangerous. I have now learned to be firm but friendly during the screening process as not to scare away good clients who maybe just didn’t remember my profile very well.
I can't even reply to this. Lol 😆😑
Butttt wanted to say @Rezz, you're my spirit animal. Everything you say on ANY post is exactly 💯 how I feel and what I'd say. So thanks for speaking up for all of us. You're on point and I appreciate your rawness, stay awesome! 🥰🤗🙌
Just wanted to say thank you again everyone for your context, thoughts, and explanations!
I think it's interesting to see how people fall on different sides. It's about perception and we all see through different lenses. What seems naturally concise and honest to one person may seem short rude to another.
I appreciate the diversity in thought in this forum. It reminds me that we all have different perspectives depending on culture and lived experiences and also to not take things too personally.
I wish you and the pro well in each of your endeavors. Hopefully you both have learned something from the interaction and carry on with kindness.
I also am thankful to everyone who contributed to the conversation. They've given us a variety of values to appreciate. Happy cuddling, yall. 🤗