I never my age would be a problem on site but it is so i wish you all good luck as i leave this site
Free space. I claim this spot.
OP deleted.
It seems as you get older you’d learn how age makes things different for people. I’m surprised he just had that experience. Or maybe….
I have experienced just the opposite on this site.
@Rezz Another account trying to spark and dash. That's what I'm going to call it now. LOL
@Rezz LOL, oh well. 🤭
Sad that the OP deleted. I believe that nobody is everybody “cup of tea “🫖 or match but with appropriate energy/effort we can all find cuddle buddies desire challenges. My age (mid 30s) on this site works both ways. Many people see me as young and it’s a bonus for cuddling (from what I hear) but a few cuddlers that were 19 and 20 showed no interested due to seeing me as “old” lol 😂 However I have recently cuddled a 21 and 22 year old. Great energy, effort and connection with both. My belief is age is just a number (18 and older). Positive energy and connection are most important to me.
@SuperManCuddles wouldnt you consider the young cuddles who choose not to cuddle you did you a favor? If they are not ready for what this site offers maybe they shouldn’t be cuddling anyone.
@BashfulLoner I 💯agree, respect all preferences and boundaries.
In a very serious professional environment I was once told I was "still too young". I was 27. A few weeks later, in a different but very similar context, I was told I was "too old".
I zoomed in on the OP's thumbnail. I can't help wondering if wearing dark glasses on a website where you are trying to make connections with people is truly the best way forward.
I agree with @SuperManCuddles. Not everybody is going to be a match and it's something we have to accept and work through. But realize it can be extremely difficult for some to deal with rejection. I can personally say that not being wanted is the worst feeling ever. My message for anyone feeling like this is just don't up and quit. You can work through it. And if someone is not right for you remember your wording and how you say it could be very hurtful.
I expected my age to be an issue so I don’t take it personally if I’m not for everyone. I do get messaged and sometimes booked by all ages. I have to be pragmatic about the process and the fact of huge numbers of people to choose from on the site. Maybe my age is to an advantage and thickened my skin. Lots of experience with acceptance and rejection. I agree with all the above, smiling open, vulnerable expressions in your photos go a long way. Trying to look tough cool Alpha male with no smile are a deal breaker for me. Eyes are everything to a lot of women!
In the past I have set an age because I did not feel comfortable cuddling with men way older than me. Some people have valid reasons and preferences. We are all entitled to that
I don’t like ageism, one bit and I definitely am nervous about my future as a cuddle therapist since I want to do this work for as long as I can and don’t have any other viable career options and am not built for the corporate world. I also believe people have the right to have preferences.
If it were up to me, we would not have our age on our profile. Even now at 27 I feel somewhat eclipsed by women in their early 20s. I wish to have the same respect as professionals do in the mental health field and for clients to choose me based on merit and skill rather than my appearance and age but I think we are still at least 5 to 10 years away from that.
@xandriarain - Your youthful optimism is showing through if you think we are only 5-10 years away 😊
I agree that everyone has a right to their preferences and like you, I look forward to a day when the vast majority of people care more about merit / experience / skill than appearance and age.
Some people are already there but from my experience I think we are at least 1-2 generations away from the majority feeling that way.
@SuperManCuddles +1
@amber0578 there is a difference between preference and prejudice. A preference is something that you readily admit to, and which does not have hard and fast edges, and which is relevant to the matter at hand. Having preferences and expressing them is perfectly normal and healthy.
Prejudices are often denied in public, locate some kind of non-existant problem in the person who is the victim of the prejudice, have immutable boundaries, and are irrelevant.
Edit: for the avoidance of doubt, it seems to me that you are expressing a preference.
I wonder what the average (or median) age of professional cuddlers is on this website. I browsed through a 50 mile radius of my area and the vast majority are between the ages of 25 and 35.
As an 81 year old man, I regularly experience age discrimination here. I it most certainly does exist. I don't like it, but I do understand it.
@xandriarain - I really suspect that you are likely do engage in some age discrimination too. If I were to ask to cuddle with you, how would you feel about cuddling with a man who is old enough to be your grandfather? The fact that I might cuddle better than a man your own age (more years of practice) would most likely be factored into your consideration. If you might hesitate, think how one of those 20 year olds would be likely to react.
I think think that your suggestion to not have a persons age in their profile is a noble thought, but is perhaps just a little bit pollyannish. Nobody who looks at my photos would ever mistake me for a a man around your age.
Even though I dislike age discrimination, I must admit that I engage in it too. I don't want to embarrass anybody, so (5 posts up) @carrieanne , if I do, I apologize in advance. Personally, I would much rather cuddle with you, than with a certain 27 year old who I was just speaking to. After all, you're not even old enough to be my daughter, much less my granddaughter. Besides, although she's quite pretty, from an old guy's perspective, you're better looking.
@GreatHornedOwl 😊 well you just made my day! And we’ve messaged about an opportunity to cuddle! What has surprised me the most from this experience is how many Cuddlers choose a 30 yr old one week and me the next. Just shows all ages can be appealing for different reasons, definitely the case for me!
@CuddleDuncan Thank you for addressing this. I am aware of both. I cannot speak on those who are actually ageist. I don’t consider myself ageist, I am just very open my my age preference.
As a woman, I am very weary of men after a certain age who find it okay to be physically intimate with someone young enough to be their child or grandchild. A lot of men here claim that they have platonic interests but secretly would hope for sexual advances eventually. The combination of the two is the reason why I have my age preference.
I hope you can understand. If you want to discuss this with me more I am open to messaging you about this ☺️
@GreatHornedOwl I actually have cuddled with clients in your age group and have thoroughly enjoyed our time together. When it comes to platonic, cuddling, and human connection it transcends age for me. Was it a little jarring in the early days of my cuddle career to cuddle someone old enough to be my grandparent? absolutely, but at the end of the day I’m not dating this person I am offering them comfort and platonic affection and I can enjoy hearing their stories and getting to know them as a human being. I had one client who was in his 40s who was hesitant to book me due to our age gap but to his surprise we actually had a lot in common. While, I respect someone’s preference for only cuddling someone closer in age I don’t think being close in age is necessary to have a good cuddle session.
Even outside of cuddling I have befriended neighbors that are in their 60s and 70s.
While I haven’t kept formal records when I think about some of my favorite clients they come from all different age groups, and when I think about some of my worst clients I’ve ever had they also come from from different age groups. So in my experience, there is no correlation between age and the quality of the client.
@xandriarain - You are indeed a most unusual woman. What a pity that you're over 800 miles away.
I love cuddling with the older gentlemen. It is the younger ones that I sometimes have issues with. They can still be a bit immature and a little frisky. This makes total sense when you look at brain development. The older gentlemen have a wealth of knowledge and great life stories to tell.
Wait a minute. In other recent threads it was said professional cuddlers can't turn down business based on sex or race, and in the case of race it is illegal. But can they turn down cuddlers based on age (excepting minors)? Even if they could I'm not sure how many would or why they would decline business.
I agree with @GreatHornedOwl. What a surprise, lol, just kidding. It's too idealistic to not have our age listed in our profile.
I don't turn down anyone due to them telling me their age. I do it due to their behavior and it just so happens the main ones I have trouble with are younger. It is not illegal to put age limits on services though, to answer that question.
@pty1999 I was wondering because it doesn't make much sense to not allow sex or race discrimination but to allow it for age. I know it's not allowed in workplaces, at least technically.
(Edited) Taking back my comment here because I'm not a lawyer and it's complicated.
So independent contractors can discriminate based on age?
@pty1999 here in the UK it's very, very illegal to put age limits on services without a very specific, legitimate reason. (For example it's illegal to ask a candidate in a job interview how old they are, since [for virtually all jobs] that information is irrelevant.)
@snugbuddy professionals are expected to cuddle clients of any age over 18. Enthusiasts of course can cuddle whoever they want.
@amber0578 I don't consider you ageist either. You seem to me to be expressing a preference, not enacting a prejudice. I absolutely accept your point about a certain type of man - they certainly exist, and they are a problem for the cuddling community. Sometimes in life there comes a point when the statistics are so unfavourable that they become impractical. (I remember a story from a Vietnam war veteran, who said that before deployment his sergeant told him that there were "32 types of snake in Vietnam, of which 31 are venomous. So I recommend a prejudiced, broad-brush approach - kill them all.")
I am entirely open to cuddling people of any age and have cuddled with cuddling folk from 19 to late sixties. (The youngest person I've cuddled - and this was outside the cuddling community - was about six hours old, if I remember rightly.)
Some of the young professionals I've cuddled are very attractive women, but since my intentions really are platonic that doesn't really matter. I do sometimes look on some of them in a somewhat fatherly or uncle-like way, but then I sometimes feel similarly about cuddlers in their forties. I couldn't have done all this when I was in my twenties, at least not in the same way: the physiological non-platonic element would have been too strong. I think I probably would have ended up seeking cuddlers noticeably older than me, in order to be able to project a more maternal image onto them. However, I don't face that difficulty now. I have no difficulty projecting a maternal image onto a young professional, as long as its the right person. For me, the person always trumps the age.
In retrospect it can be observed that my general preference for most of my life has been for people younger than me. When I was a child I tended to find older people tiresome, and although that view has softened a little it has not disappeared. So I entirely sympathise with your view! Present company excepted of course.
@xandriarain
I don’t think being close in age is necessary to have a good cuddle session.
I totally agree. In my experience it's completely irrelevant
@carrieanne although (as far as I am aware) I don't experience age-prejudice, that doesn't mean that I would never consider age. For example, if I found myself choosing who to contact between two professionals that I didn't know, I would consider what kind of session I needed and which was more likely to provide it. If they were of widely different ages then age might come into my consideration. So I find it very easy to understand why a client might prefer an older professional on one occasion and a younger one on another.
The late Queen was 96 when she went, and I would've cuddled her in a heartbeat.