That’s so true about the “being yourself” part that @CuddleDuncan said.
But not being yourself can also bleed into being a fake self, like @zerocantaloupe said, which breeds fake people and fake dealings in one’s outer circle. But in places where responses are typically scripted, the fallacy is bound to continue.
Being a wallflower or “taking a back seat” is bound to have a hit on your self esteem as well.
Sometimes it’s good to fake it till you make it, especially when overcoming something to make a change for yourself.
I think it breeds resentment and deviation in ones own inner self and amplifies that sense of loneliness though, unfortunately.
“It no longer makes me cry and die and tear myself to see her go because everything goes away from me like that now — girls, visions, anything, just in the same way and forever and I accept lostness forever.” ― Jack Kerouac
Only every now and then. My family works a lot of long hours, whereas I am self-employed. I used to be alone fairly often, which I don't always mind - I would often take myself out for lunch, get my nails done, go thrifting, or spend the day floating in the pool. But sometimes company is nice as well. About eleven months ago I brought home a puppy who changed my life. He is not a service animal, but could very easily be one. He goes with me everywhere, helps me carry in firewood and the mail, and does whatever he's told. He sleeps at my feet every night. I don't ever feel lonely anymore lol. Just loved. 🖤
I really don’t think that anybody could say never. So that would not be an option for most. I don’t find myself feeling too lonely. Even though I’m an extrovert I love to be alone. Because I enjoy my own company. Sometimes I feel lonely for just talking with someone and sharing a meal or getting to know people. Sometimes I just go out in public and look for someone to talk to which probably seems weird but I like to hear peoples stories . I am fortunate to have a job where I can reach out to the elderly and so I help other people to keep from feeling lonely. I always say if you feel lonely there’s always an opportunity to volunteer and reach out to people and share kindness. It’s amazing to visit nursing homes where you can meet some of the most amazing people. With amazing lives and interesting ideas and thoughts they’re always so kind and they have a great way of building you up. In other countries old people are highly regarded not so much here. But the best way to not feel lonely is to reach out to someone else. At least that works for me.
@Mela_B oh my gosh that sounds like a great dog. Can you send a picture of him? What kind of dog is he? I do think animals help people.
I go through these periods of feeling lonely, even when there's no apparent reason to feel that way. The old saying "alone even in a crowded room" fits me perfectly. I wonder if it's because so much of my life is spent in the spotlight (or at least spotlight-adjacent) if I'm just lacking attention from time to time. I tend to not feel that way because I am generally pretty comfortable in my own skin and don't mind being by myself.
Guess I'm complex.
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I agree with you ,@CuddleDuncan. I've always liked, "Just be your best self". It allows us to be the best version of ourselves that is needed for every situation. I find it so much more empowering.
@KozyKim he is truly amazing. He makes my heart so full. He is a Cane Corso Mastiff.
What a cute dog.
@Mela_B What a gorgeous dog! I've found my next cuddle partner.
I feel lonely on a daily basis. Its something I'm working to overcome. I know that guys aren't usually this forward, and there is a certain stigma with that, but I'm learning to be more open and see where that takes me.
@Melancholy thanks! Coincidentally, my nickname as a child was melancholy Mela, and I have melancholy tattooed on my face.
@Finnegan2017 right?! He's the best snuggler!
@Originalirish I hope that you as well as every other man here will learn to be more open with your feelings and talk about things . Men need to remove that stigma and first step is by letting men k know that it is ok and acceptable to feel and to ask for help .
I love vulnerability on the forum.
Yes I do feel lonely a fair amount. BUT, I would rather be alone then with people who treat me bad. That's a even worse feeling. I've spent a lot of my life alone. Long story.
Thank you, @pmvines I appreciate the support
All the time, I think, but I also think that I've adjusted to it so that I don't know any different really, it's just normal.
I remember watching this video a while back on the subject -
@Mela_B That dog is very grand and beautiful. He looks really big. My sister has a bull mastiff I just got done visiting her in Florida he’s such a cutie. Although he humped me quite a bit even though he’s fixed.
@Maverick07 thanks for sharing that video. It would be great to be a nonprofit cuddler and cuddle people that can’t afford it. Because I would love to cuddle those kind of people that had traumas and loneliness . I’m sure it wouldn’t be like the normal cuddle at first, it may take time and be slower. But I think therapeutic cuddles while listening to peoples story would be helpful.
I’ve been alone most of my adult life and I prefer it. It’s when I can focus, problem solve, be most creative, listen to music and much more. I’m 💯 Sagittarius in every way. I love living alone, my environment has a huge effect on my ability to be at my best, this way I can control it. I’m ADD very easily distracted so peace and solitude help with that.
I enjoy my time alone and so grateful for it. Granted I was a stay at home mom for 17yrs so I was never alone lol. Now with shared custody I get to actually have alone time. I do want more deep soulful connections though. Those are great! 😊
@carrieanne I am a Sagittarius as well. My birthday is tomorrow 😁
@RadiantBecca Fellow Sagittarius here. My birthday is on Thursday. Happy early birthday to you!
@KozyKim he is enormous. At eleven months old he's approximately 130 - 150 pounds (I have nowhere to weigh him lol) Your sister's dog is beautiful!
@RadiantBecca happy birthday 🎶🎉🎁
@RadiantBecca Hey, mine is tomorrow as well - although I'm ok forgetting about it after I hit a certain age 😁 cheers!
@KozyKim I agree with you ❤ Sometimes I see a thread from usually a guy, frustrated by not finding an enthusiast and I remember this video - we don't know the history, what he (or she) has been through, etc. However, IMHO that's when a qualified pro will make a difference and properly handle the situation. Just my 1.99 cents.