Sadness

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  • @ThomSSI thank you🥹

  • I've been there myself. Three things have helped me to keep going:

    1-Focus on making moments with others and with yourself.

    • With others - A simple wave or hello to another person can create a moment that would otherwise not be.
      You saw them and they saw you. The power in that thinking is that you created that moment and created the
      possibility of a connection.

    This is particularly hard for me because of social anxiety. I would describe my anxiety as my brain asking
    what-if questions before I do something, while I'm doing the something, and after I did something, all doubting
    any chance of success. However, over the last few months I've gotten better at pushing back on my anxiety by answering a simple question before an anxious situation: Is doing this important to me or not? I define important as: would I rather have the moment or not.

    • With yourself - Discover what is really important to you. I mean, truly important that you would dedicate time
      to do it. For me, I love astronomy and spend every clear night I can outside with my binoculars regardless of temperature. I have seen some amazing things...Jupiter and its four moons, galaxies, star clusters....and of course, meteors. A few weeks ago I saw a purple fireball that lasted ten to fifteen seconds and joyfully shouted holy crap at about 10:30 at night in my neighborhood. A genuine fun moment.

    2-Recognize you can't control outcomes, only what you do and what you do has consequences.
    This is something I learned when understanding my social anxiety. I'm socially anxious because social situations are about yielding some control. When you say something to someone, you can't control how they respond because they are their own person going through their own challenges. So, when you act or speak, do so with a positive intention and you offer yourself the best possible chance for a positive outcome.

    3-Get physically active and strengthen your mind.
    Life is tough. You're going to have your good days and your bad days. Believe me, I still have my bad days... the effects of
    over two decades of touch starvation aren't going away magically. But I credit my workouts with giving me an edge at blunting the worst effects of the loneliness while I create moments to feel more connected to the world.

    Anyway, I started exercising because I wanted to get more fit, but noticed my mind getting stronger too because I was challenging myself. I push myself harder on runs, pushups, and bicycle crunches, and feel really good for getting that extra rep in or going a little longer before stopping on a run. That success continues afterward because it's a moment I created....I pushed myself and won.

    Final thoughts:
    The truth is any day can become a tough day and make you wonder why keep going. We are all haunted by elements of our lives that can pull us down. For me, it is so many missed social moments during high school, college, and post-college that I would have loved to have had but didn't because of social anxiety and can't ever because I don't have a time machine. So, the last few months I've been creating new moments and those lessen the pain of the missed moments and make it worth it to keep going.

    Good luck.

  • Anyone who is feeling sad can feel free to reach out and message me to vent/talk if they would like to do so. I'm glad that others have replied to this thread, as well. 🫂🫂🫂 You're not alone.

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