@SuperManCuddles 🍻😎🫂🤗🥳
This is such an interesting perspective....... I'm sorry that you've experienced a boundary pusher. That completely sucks and I can empathize with parts of your story from a different perspective i.e. a female gender type human.
My curiosity is peaked. I wasn't going to post because it seems like this thread is going to get WAY OUT OF HAND and fast.....
Here's the thing that sort of piqued my interest.
I agree there are lots of people - MEN AND WOMEN - who want more than platonic cuddles. 100% agree. EVEN people who have lots of great karma about being RESPECTFUL wind up trying to grab boobs, butts, and other body parts that are out of the boundaries of TOS.
But.....
If I were to report every cuddler who FLIRTED with me.... in person or via messages...... I don't think I'd ever leave my computer.
Just another thought..... you said
he said he wanted to feel my muscles as I flexed. Clearly against the TOS.
Would you have felt the same way if it was a woman saying things similar to "I like to feel your bicep muscles?" It is challenging for me to imagine any guy.... in any universe.... wishing a woman would stay away from caressing their arm muscles. I also don't remember arms being against TOS as opposed to that possibly being a personal boundary.
The most beautiful thing about this experience is that you get to learn more about your own boundaries AND you will have a better time prescreening people and the flirt and arm caress factor.
@AGnihon you have some really clear do's and don'ts on your profile in order to connect with you. ...like the amount of covid shots and the video call. It seems like it would be pretty easy to add it to your profile as a demand for a zero flirtatious environment and what that looks like to you. (Also, your age preference window is pretty small, the youth of your cuddle buddies might also be contributing to their real world experience in knowing themselves... again.... no judgement in your choices, but just a thought)
IMPORTANT: I will only meet someone especially if I am hosting them, after doing a short video call(doesn't have to be longer than 1 minute) This is for both of our safety. Also, In order to bypass mask wearing, please ensure you have had 3-4 covid shots.
We all know what it feels like to US and I am not interested in denying your experience with this cuddler. Like everyone has said previously, if someone breaks TOS then report them. End of story.
I am thankful to hear your perspective about flirting.... There are some people that say I seem flirty because I use so many happy face emojis or extra exclamation marks!! I take a long time to message before an in person meet for this very reason. I am always glad to know more about the prospective cuddle buddy so I can know whether or not we might be a good fit. If they had a flirt sensitivity I would probably let them know early on that we shouldn't ever meet in person.
I'm not sure what you were hopeful to attain in your "rant" it seems like its more of a "note to self" but I figured I would share a little of my own experience since you posted your thoughts in a public forum.
@sillysassy - An extremely insightful post.
@sillysassy great post. Now that i think about it flirting is my dialect, at least outside of CC. So there have been instances where my flirtatious talks starts to slip though inadvertently. Luckily i catch it. But in the world my conversation is usually to bring a smile to someone’s face and not elude to some sexual motive. That does change the conversation a little, is flirting a no no on here? I suppose talking about touching might be a little more than flirting, but I’ve been called handsome often in messages and it’s flattering, not more than that. I suppose if a man called me handsome it feel different but i think I’d just have to be flattered and not offended. So is the sexuality of the flirter the issue? Also if a person is fit and works on his physique how do you guys measure the hardness of a flexed muscle without touching?
@sillysassy Thank you for sharing your perspectives and experiences. It’s creatively put and makes us use insight in true thoughts/motives.
@pmvines I’m just a realist. There’s always the same handful of people here who say “it’s platonic cuddling only damn it! I can cuddle a man, Woman, trans, a damn gopher and it won’t get sexual ever!” And that's fine, it works for you. But it doesn’t work like that as much as you think. I’ve NEVER gotten a message from a female enthusiast in over 5 years on this site, and the ones I messaged all turned out to be bots or deleted. (I’ve gone through about 4-5 different user names bc I kept deleting my account due to dissatisfaction). My current account, I mistakenly checked MALE as preferred cuddler. I got at least 5 messages that week alone from dudes…. My point? If you are a enthusiast man on this site looking to cuddle other men, there’s probably going to be more than cuddling on the table bc you are two grown as* men in bed on your own accord, seeking each other. Don’t be naive. A 'straight' man proclaiming he's done with gay men b/c they push boundaries when they are voluntarily cuddling each other? LOL, I think someone is in denial...
Reported, reviewed, and left intact. Someone makes some vast assumptions about sexuality and cuddling. [-Sid]
@Midnight01 I get messages all the time from women , non pros as well as pros . Perhaps there is something off putting about the energy you project , or a lack of effort on your side ? If your posts are any indication, I can see why you likely don't get messages.
So then 2 men are incapable of keeping things non sexual? And I am certainly not on here to try to change anybody's thoughts on cuddling. Consent is very important , and you must feel comfy with what you do and who it's with. Men shouldn't cuddle men if they dont want to , nor should anybody try to tell them they are wrong for that. But you implying men cuddling other men are incapable of behaving themselves is simply wrong .
@AGnihon wow man I’m sorry you have had to go with that. You branching out to other men and then getting your boundaries pushed has not gotta be easy to deal with. The male cuddlers I have cuddled with (regardless of orientation) have been amazing and completely platonic, so I have not yet experienced what you have. I am not really equipped for it so I am not sure how I would react, but coming here is definitely up there on how I would seek help. It is an issue that women have to deal with so often that I def want to read through their comments for some insight on this.
@sillysassy Great questions. I don't have the time or the right mindset (motivation) to get to all of the many points you raised right now. I am currently on a trip and will try to pit forward a worthy response once I am back home.
@Charlie_Bear Thanks, and I hope you continue to have good luck when it comes to cuddle buddies!
Baiting a reaction from someone is not allowed on the forms. Keep these types of comments to yourself. [netrunner]
Careful. The next thing you know, someone will start bashing you for not understanding truly what women go through because you aren't one.
Anyways... Negativity over.
As someone who's been mistaken for a twink most of my adult life, I understand your annoyance. I don't consider it bigoted at all to be annoyed by it, though I think it's fair to give people a chance to know your position on things and draw lines.
I've even experienced "won't take no for an answer" crap from gay/bi men (some who didn't think they were). I don't really consider this an unusual experience for a straight man though, I think men are just more wired to be sexually aggressive. Thankfully no forceful incidences, just maybe lost friendships or acquaintance or conversations. I try to be courteous and get the message across regardless, even if I have to be aggressive about it, and most have remained cordial afterward. Some were just drunk/high. I think a lot of people learn a lot of things about themselves pushing the envelope, and at the very least I like the thought that someone's clarified something for themselves.
There's a line with anybody for pushiness though, regardless of taste, so take appropriate action. Good luck and have fun when you can.
I’m sorry you had an uncomfortable experience, if you heard what happens to me nearly everytime you’d have a melt down 😂
I suppose I'm lucky. I'm oblivious to flirting. Someone could flirt with me all day long, and I'd think they were just being friendly. Comes from no self-esteem.
@Midnight01 there should never be anything more on the table aside from what the parties originally agreed to, which is 100% platonic cuddling. That’s a violation of consent and boundaries.
“there’s probably going to be more than cuddling on the table bc you are two grown as* men in bed on your own accord, seeking each other.”
With this logic, you’re basically advocating violating terms of service and breaking the law, since sex work is illegal. This is not a site for sex work, so why are you saying that two adults in a bed seeking cuddles automatically means that “more than cuddling is on the table”? Also, do you apply this logic to female-male cuddling as well? If so, I think that explains why no female enthusiasts are talking to you, since they do NOT want to have “more on the table”.
If you’re for some reason applying your logic only to male-male cuddling, it might be worth asking yourself why you’re singling out same sex cuddling specifically.
I’ve met plenty of men outside of this site who truly were cuddling to be held. It did not matter the age or gender of their partners. Only on this site do I meet people who care about those things, and it’s because unfortunately most of the men here want there to be “something else on the table” during what is supposed to be a platonic cuddling session.
@sillysassy I definitely think flirting is sinister and have never, EVER had a good outcome when someone has flirted with me. Last time a client flirted with me, he exhibited some very heinous behaviors. On this site, I’m a pro, and I’m offering a professional service, not a relationship. Outside of this site when I used to platonically cuddle my friends, we never flirted because that muddies boundaries. It is platonic, and flirtatious behavior has no place in a platonic setting. I think it’s actually quite rude to flirt with someone when you don’t know their boundaries and don’t know how uncomfortable it might make them. We as women “get away with it” more often, but I think we need to be more cognizant of how uncomfortable flirting can make others. I’ve known men who were afraid to speak up when a woman flirting made them uncomfortable because of how society assumes men need to always want it, etc.
This thread's premise and follow-up statements are click bait for a bash-on-gays thread, @AGnihon . There have been multiple flags and reports, and I admit I'm late to the game catching up to this.
Your choice to cuddle men or not, gay or straight, and it's your (and their!) responsibility to vet each other and affirm boundaries - it's called communication with your potential partner before anyone is remotely horizontal.
Closing this thread. I'm tired of the flags and reports.