@Melancholy you conveniently ignored everything @bobadevotee said about the mental and emotional labor, not to mention safety concerns, of cuddling with strangers. I’m sure that as a man you think cuddling with women all day would be great!
Please try to imagine what it’s like to put yourself physically at risk to meet clients, being on-guard about your safety, while also making sure to be warm, kind, comforting, and entertaining at all times. Imagine being groped without your consent and solicited for sexual services, and explaining over and over again that you are not a sex worker.
Imagine trying to maintain your own mental health through all of this and still being a constant source of positivity, joy, and comfort to others. Regardless of the disrespect I may have just endured with one client, I still have to show up smiling and ready to comfort the next client. That is my job. I have held people while they sobbed after experiencing a personal tragedy, listened to their stories and dried their tears. This work can be deeply rewarding and I am thankful to do it, but it is by no means an “easy job”.
@Melancholy it depresses me enormously that you can spend so much time on this forum, and make so many excellent posts, and yet understand so little about what professional cuddling actually involves. I bet you haven't even noticed that after you decided to belittle professional cuddlers for no reason at all, it was a professional cuddler replied to you in a kind and reasonable way.
It also depresses me enormously that so many people think that physical work is hard. Well, of course it can be, but of the various types of work physical work is, broadly speaking, the easiest.
If you think that a twelve hour retail shift is truly hard work - and I emphasise the "truly" - then I can only congratulate you on your ignorance. (Yes, I have done it, I know exactly how exhausting and misery-inducing it is. Yes, for multiple days in a row. And yes, with another job to go to afterwards. Also retail.)
You know this is true, by the way. Otherwise you wouldn't have mentioned the pay rate.
@sunflowerrae So let me try to clear it up a little. I don't have as much free time as others who can write books here. So I definitely left some stuff out and I think if I explain this to you it might change your view a bit. I'm not talking about new clients at all. When pro cuddlers see new clients, its a totally different ballgame. Yes those things you said about physical risk and emotional burden etc is something that's hard to put a price on. though I'm not sure how you can put a price on that. Some women have no problem with that, and some do. So its very subjective as to what that should cost. But I'm mostly talking about clients you actually want. Clients you trust and enjoy cuddling with. Where you dont' fear for your safety at all and in fact look forward to seeing them. In that case, all your concerns about mental health and risk go away. So let's just focus on regular clients that a pro cuddler wants to see. Not the random weirdos out there who are often pushing boundaries etc.
Its probably why every pro cuddler I've seen regularly has cut their rate in half....thank you for helping me understand why they do that. Its not just because they want me to stay a client, but they also have a lot less risk and emotional wear from knowing I'm seeing them and not someone else they don't know.
I'm not trying to be disrespectful here to anyone but pro-cuddlers who are trying to charge 200-250 an hour for a cuddle session, what are you even thinking?
Luckily for you, we have an entire thread dedicated to members whining about pros rates. Yay.
https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/forum/discussion/4600/why-is-there-such-a-disparity-in-price-price-mega-thread#latest
My favorite thread ..... The Price MEGA Thread ! 💖💖💖 Always a great read.
@OhioMike Welcome back!
It's always a joyous read indeed.
Back in my day pros only charged .35¢ an hour and I would often tip with a loaf of bread.
Well Chester times change. My time and energy is worth a hell of a lot more than pennies and safety concerns are still relevant whether I'm charging .35¢ an hour or $300, so I will charge my risk tax and increase it as I see fit. Taking an hour out of my day to cuddle was the someone who is not going to benefit me is work and I will charge accordingly.
I was just told that women on here are charged a percentage of each booking and no monthly fee to be a pro. As a male, I'm only charged a monthly fee and no percentage. Is this true? Why is there a difference in the way the system is set up based on the sex of a cuddler? I would almost prefer to pay a percentage instead of a monthly fee since I'm so new that I haven't had anyone book with me yet. I've been getting by booking with others to build karma.
@Originalirish
Male pros rarely book clients. It's better to charge a monthly fee than waiting for them to book a client to collect 15% from them. Hope this helps clear things up 🙂
@Originalirish, the site owner, Mark, has a whole post explaining the rationale for this here:
"Why do male professionals pay a monthly subscription?" Here are some highlights:
Some of our observations: * Female professionals represent the vast majority of client demand. * The quantity of interest in being a male professional is notable. * That interest is completely disproportionate to the demand. * The quality of interest in being a male professional is significantly lower than that of their female counterpart. It’s fraught with seemingly non-serious and frivolous candidates. * A subscription model is a psychological barrier to entry, which is one reason why marketplace platforms tend to go with commision based models. * In the case of male professionals, this financial commitment and psychological barrier acts as a net positive by effectively filtering out much of the unsuitable candidates. * In the mean, a subscription model is financially less appealing to a male professional due to the additional challenges and uncertainty they face in the market. * Conversely, the subscription model rewards the very few male professionals that are successful, in the form of comparatively lower platform costs. The majority of female cuddlers will receive enough business that allow for a 15% commission to adequately compensate our costs. Whereas the demand and subsequent success rate for male professional cuddlers is drastically different which resulted in us taking a different approach.
Some of our observations: * Female professionals represent the vast majority of client demand. * The quantity of interest in being a male professional is notable. * That interest is completely disproportionate to the demand. * The quality of interest in being a male professional is significantly lower than that of their female counterpart. It’s fraught with seemingly non-serious and frivolous candidates. * A subscription model is a psychological barrier to entry, which is one reason why marketplace platforms tend to go with commision based models. * In the case of male professionals, this financial commitment and psychological barrier acts as a net positive by effectively filtering out much of the unsuitable candidates. * In the mean, a subscription model is financially less appealing to a male professional due to the additional challenges and uncertainty they face in the market. * Conversely, the subscription model rewards the very few male professionals that are successful, in the form of comparatively lower platform costs.
The majority of female cuddlers will receive enough business that allow for a 15% commission to adequately compensate our costs. Whereas the demand and subsequent success rate for male professional cuddlers is drastically different which resulted in us taking a different approach.
@AintMisbehavin @Rezz Thank you, that makes total sense. I appreciate the help
I used to place a lot of value on being perceived as a "cute tiny Latina" and charged accordingly . Thing with operating under that perception is that eventually i and my clientele became unable to see me as anything more than that and it adversely affected my mental health. I reduced my client base down to those whom proved to me that they saw me as more than an object. I still charge what i do because healing from that perception takes a huge toll on my mental health and i prefer a smaller pool of clientele to work with. At the end of the day, i feel my hour is worth the emotional, physical and mental labor i place in each session i accept. I'm healing and am looking for those healing as well.
People can set whatever price they want. But I assume a lot of it has to do with the experience they have or the clientele they've built over time. The price also depends on if they have to travel to you and the distance also matters. Also I've seen that a problem is that coddlers don't want/can't host. And that I understandable considering safety. I would rather not be the host. Id rather be a guest and be able to leave whenever I want if a situation becomes too uncomfortable for me. It's easier to be able to leave in that case instead of trying to get someone out of your own place. lol just being candid. this is the reality of this dynamic
Dont get me wrong with the right person its very therapeutic but it costs so much. I wish the rate was a bit more reasonable like $30-50/hr. Its not rocket science lol. /vent
They set their own rates. The website doesn't dictate pricing.
That’s not a reasonable rate for this type of work, and if you were on the other end of it, you’d understand why.
I’d just leave the site and focus on my day job if rates were that low for all the constant harassment, dick pics, and safety concerns that I encounter here. I already get paid $30/hr at a gigs where I’m a lot safer, have actual guaranteed hours, and there’s zero emotional labor involved. No risk of dick pics or men getting handsy when I’m working an event with two big security guards to protect me.
Neither is hammering nails, but have you priced out a roofer lately?
Feel free to discuss here: https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/forum/discussion/4600/why-is-there-such-a-disparity-in-price-price-mega-thread/p1
I believe everyone has the right to charge whatever it is they want ,it is their time and you place your own value … there was a short period where pro rates were displayed very briefly on the search pics on main page and it was removed … Since this seems to be a major complaint for many and an “obstacle” to booking, maybe they’ll implement a price filter? From high to low and low to high on area searches … would hate for anyone to view pros as merely just a product to choose off the shelves, and I know some will say this, so I’m saying it now and I agree, but at the same time some pros use certain pics to market themselves and get a competitive edge, so why can’t others use pricing as a competitive edge and make for a more fair market? Just my thoughts.
It's actually free
@cuddles_ndream - There already is a price filter
You learn something everyday, thanks @Mike403
Mike I just tried the filter myself just now and it actually works well! For anyone whose concern is genuinely just “pricing” being out of your reach, that filter is a must.
@craM for me it was 😬🙈
Everyone is free to charge as much as they want (especially for the risks involved. also after reading that thread a moment I saw the commission to be 15% to the site, which takes a piece to the total $ that the pro is actually receiving), but I do wonder whether or not it is generally worth the price to the consumer. It feels expensive to me, even though it's not like I couldn't afford it and still be okay.
$100 to spend one hour with someone sounds like a lot when you compare to what else $100 could buy you in an hour, or much longer than that. (a movie is an hour and a half for a few dollars, plus much more with snacks lol. A video game could be 10, 100, 1000 hours for <$60...) Of course, that one hour means a lot more if it means healing or comfort, much more than what a movie or a video game could buy you. But one hour also goes by so quick, that it feels like I'd be remorseful once it's over.
Again, there's nothing wrong with people charging that much - people clearly buy it and it is worth it to some people, and it is certainly appropriate with what I can only imagine those pros go through. I just have a hard time seeing it as a service worth buying for that price for me. I'd much rather find someone who just wants to cuddle mutually, but that's sorta stating the obvious - there are way too many guys on this site looking for the same thing.
@bobadevotee The issues you mentioned only apply to new clients you don't trust. if you had a few regulars who you trust and became friends with then those problems would all go away, and it might actually be worth it. In fact, it was worth it to more than one pro cuddler for me in the past So I know it is worth it to some....in fact one of them even gave me a free hour or two every other session! But yea you're right about new clients or guys you don't trust....definitely NOT worth it to you and most women.
I think the prices are good where they are. When you cuddle with a pro, they are providing a service and they have the right to set their prices based on the value they believe they are providing to you. Considering all they have to deal with, suggesting rates as low as $30+ I think is more of an indication of how little a person expecting that rate values their time.
$30-$50 too low, reasonable prices are $60-$100, more than that it's too much
I can understand why it might seem too high of a price but there is a lot to look into for when you’re booking this service. There’s so much emotional damage we deal with on top of navigating the pervs, creeps and emotionally manipulative ppl out there. The price also includes all the networking and background checking (and the 15% the site takes off).
For me, when I have reoccurring cuddles with ppl that are incredibly respectful, I will gladly spend free time with them. I add extra time at no charge, some I go out to karaoke with (that’s 4-5 hours of no charge), I never charge for going out for ice cream or lunch/dinner. They always pay for my meal but I would never charge for my time. As long as my job as a cuddler is respected and they understand that this isn’t a means of never paying for my cuddles, I’m game to always spend time with these cuddlers 🌸🌸
I have never once complained, nor will I ever complain, about what anyone on this site charges.
It is not that I am so wealthy that money doesn’t matter, it is purely a matter of my priorities. Since discovering this site I have moved “self care” much higher up my list of priorities and a bunch of other things moved down the list. For example, I did not upgrade my iPhone and Apple Watch again this year because those things (and many others) are not as important to me now as they used to be.