Open minded

[Deleted User]MaverickLegend (deleted user)
in General

I see the term open minded in some profiles, but I wonder what does this mean exactly? As a pro when you put that in your profile, what is it that you’re trying to convey to your potential clients? And as a client when you see that in someone’s profile, what does that make you think?

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Comments

  • warm_embracewarm_embrace

    I assume it is someone who is accepting, non judgmental, and comfortable interacting with people that are not like them. The “comfortable” part is essential. Despite the motivation of the cuddler, it can’t be faked.

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles

    Personally I would ask the people whose profiles you've seen it on. But in general, I agree with @warm_embrace. However, depending on the context, this could also be code.

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

  • [Deleted User]SnugglesRus (deleted user)

    I’d like to think that many simply mean they are not judgmental.

    In conversation, I most often hear the response that they have no boundaries. Ultimately, in a profile, I see it as suggesting they are willing to explore more than allowed here. On this platform, it doesn’t come across as simply open about life in general.

  • ReltvlyCanshesReltvlyCanshes

    I can see what you’re getting at, i think we need more context in a profile to have an idea. But let’s just hope it means nor an a-hole or not rigid.

    My eye brow goes up when i see it.

  • [Deleted User]MrAdmirer (deleted user)

    Best bet would be to ask them, definitely subject to interpretation

  • warm_embracewarm_embrace

    I’m sure some people who break the rules have described themselves as “open minded”. Just like I’m sure some people who don’t post an identifiable picture are “cheating “ on their significant other because they may consider the emotional intimacy of cuddling another to be betrayal.

    I hope we don’t stigmatize words like “open minded”. The world needs more open minds!

  • Connecticut1977Connecticut1977

    I think of being open minded is NON JUDGEMENT and open to ALL!!!! I am open to ALL!!!!

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    As far as I can tell, in the context of a professional cuddlers' profile, the phrase "open minded" usually has one of two related meanings.

    It can be used as code by people who offer sexual services, as an invitation to clients to ask for such services. The person may be using a kind of double-think on themselves to justify their actions. I don't offer sexual services, but sometimes people ask for them and I need the money. We may sympathise with the predicament, but not the solution.

    The other is that the phrase just means what it says. From my own reading of profiles this is much more common than the first meaning. The person is open to new ideas and new ways of thinking. Ready and willing to learn about the world, and other people. In this case it is also an invitation, but this time an invitation to the client to ask for what they want, or just say things that they feel they can't say in ordinary conversation. An invitation to be themselves.

    Sometimes the things that cause people the most difficulty in saying appear quite trivial to the outside world. Part of the ethos of the cuddling world is to encourage people who have difficulties in talking about touch to say what they want to say, and a professional using this phrase is offering the client a chance to do it.

    How do you tell the difference? It can be hard or impossible, but in practice it doesn't actually matter very much. (The potential clients to whom it would make a difference are the ones seeking sexual services.) The people offering sexual services aren't evil or unkind or unwilling to help clients who are finding things difficult: they are just on the wrong website.

    If you are a client who has difficulty with touch, this thread might help you find the right professional for you.

  • mike1290mike1290
    edited February 2023

    I thought it was being non judgemental, I'm very insecure about my body, head shape and face. So it helps me when people tell me they are open minded.

  • RezzRezz
    edited February 2023

    Well... I would never put it in my profile. It's an invitation for non platonic requests or expectations. Some here encourage these kinds of requests , I distance myself from those types of messages as much as possible by avoiding any wording that can be misconstrued.

    While it has a benign meaning in most settings, here it does not.

    And no , I'm not insinuating that if you have this in your bio you're offering more. Just my preference to avoid touching anymore trash than necessary.

  • stormydaycuddlestormydaycuddle Mod

    The idea that open minded is a twisted phrase here is unfortunate but it most certainly is. When saying you’re open minded clarify a little. It’s not fun or fair but “open minded” more often than not without any context means “more.” Not fair, not fun, not right but there too much of a chance these days that people are seeking boundary pushing to be safe to engage with. I’d say provide context, use sparingly. Quite a few bad 🍎 have ruined the phrase for the rest.

  • warm_embracewarm_embrace

    Forgive me for going on about this, but the idea of “open mindedness” is important to me, and I try to only cuddle with others who are “open minded”. Let me be clear again that I am not defending people who post profiles with the intention to break the rules.

    I love the fact that cuddling gives me an opportunity to grow from connecting deeply, intimately (and platonically) with people I may never have the opportunity to encounter in my daily life.

    I think this is the most significant long-term benefit I have received from my many years as a cuddle enthusiast. I also would like to think that experience of growth, understanding and acceptance is mutual for my cuddle partners.

    I have had the opportunity to have hours-long intimate interactions with people with diverse backgrounds, cultures, political affiliations, sexual orientations, gender identities, and spiritual beliefs (and quite frankly all of the ways we can be different from one another). For me, this has served as an antidote for the tribalism that seems to dominate our society today. It also opens up an opportunity for genuine civil discourse about difficult things in a safe and judgement-free zone.

    But the magic only happens when both parties can be “open minded”, free from judgement, and willing to learn. I have also cuddled with people who were not “open minded” and you can tell the difference. While we may have a perfectly nice cuddle experience, judgement can often be felt one’s body. The connection isn’t the same.

    There are so few spaces where people from different “tribes” can accept and actually grow to appreciate others who are different. PLEASE, let’s not assume the worst of intentions, and demonize the term “open minded”.

  • pmvinespmvines

    It is one of those benign terms that unfortunately you need to pay attention to context with. Other lines of non platonic services use it to describe a willingness to do certain things. Not saying that's the case when you see it here but still never hurts to use caution as it could be code.

  • stormydaycuddlestormydaycuddle Mod
    edited February 2023

    @warm_embrace i agree with you in general but in this case the term has unfortunately already been twisted. We should all BE open minded but the damage to the term has been done. I repeat use with context and sparingly on profiles. There are a lot of different things that mean different thing’s different places. Idealism is great and I do without sarcasm applaud you for your POV. Cuddlers have to be careful of boundary pushers in their space. It’s hard when someone is trying to do something wrong to you. So being aware the word can mean different things saves many from being attacked. Love the posts I’ve seen from you so far. It’s not let’s not do damage to this term though. Damage done. Sadly. Being aware of this can literally save someone from assault or more mildly a bad experience.

  • KaaGeeKaaGee

    "Open-minded" on other (dating) sites tends to be code for being open to other than one on one "vanilla" type relationships. As others have mentioned, context is key. I would be more careful of a newer user here using the term than an established cuddler. It would definitely make me read twice to make sure I wasn't misinterpreting.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod
    edited February 2023

    This

    • I'm fun, super chilled-out and open minded .... and when I say open minded I mean VERY open minded. 😉😈

    is not this

    • I like to think of myself as open minded and accepting of all humans, whatever their imperfections. 🫂
  • homeboyhomeboy

    Almost any word or phrase from "car" to "yellow" to "alive" can have different meanings depending on the context and the people using and interpreting the word. We're all having a cool conversation guessing, but since open-minded is open-ended, only the person who chose to use the phrase knows for sure what was intended.

  • TNNativeTNNative

    Maybe instead of open minded one should use nonjudgmental and accepting of others.

  • pmvinespmvines

    Or it could mean you do a lot of hallucinogens

  • warm_embracewarm_embrace
    edited February 2023

    @CuddleDuncan I agree 100% with your example. The same could be said about “fun”, “relax” and for that matter even “cuddle comfort”.

    I completely agree that we need to read between the lines if someone emphasizes a word in a way that convolutes its meaning.

    In the end, everyone has to make their own judgement in order to stay safe and feel comfortable.

  • warm_embracewarm_embrace

    @pmvines indeed, hallucinogens could make a person VERY open minded! 🤣

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    Yes my mind is open source. That’s why I crash in the afternoon.

  • CharlieBearCharlieBear Mod

    I think as long as their profile makes it clear that things will only be platonic, then open-minded means what it is intended. Otherwise, I think it’s code for non-platonic requests. I personally wouldn’t even ask because I would be afraid it would seem like I’m fishing for bannable requests.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel
    edited February 2023

    Back in the day my gay friends used the term open minded on dating sites to find gay partners.

    If in doubt just ask. Sometimes their mind really isn’t opened. It’s just cracked open and that’s what makes that person fun to be around.

  • MissAdventurousMissAdventurous

    Funny, I have that in my profile and I don't really have too many issues in almost 5 years with sexual advances.

    But also, my profile can be intimidating/scare off those types as they can tell, that's not gonna happen. 😂😂

    Perception. It's a thing.
    Doesn't mean it's what's happening.

  • ViancaVianca

    Open minded on this site means non-platonic services. There's a section at the bottom of every profile that says "cuddles" and selecting "everyone" defeats the need to broadcast being "open". However, I also think your alternative is great @TNNative

  • MDWMDW

    @Vianca @TNNative I agree with you both. Not saying everyone uses it that way but it makes me question it.

  • WKplatonicWKplatonic

    I am open-minded as long as it includes being "platonic." For some reason, some professional cuddlers have trouble verbalizing the word platonic The word "platonic.." should be driven home on this website.

  • sillysassysillysassy

    I appreciate all of this. 😊😊😊

    I think the opposite of “narrow minded” gives off a lovely vibe.

    And yes…. Accepting of all the peeps.

    Brilliancy was spoken in this

    when in doubt just ask

  • scorpio2112scorpio2112

    @stormydaycuddle perfectly summed it up ''the term has unfortunately already been twisted. We should all BE open minded but the damage to the term has been done'' My wife and I are open minded on everything adult however we don't add that to any profiles. We accept the person coming to see us and always make sure communication is very clear.

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