Scam

android3665android3665
in General

I'm writing this short post to share that I was scammed by someone who claimed to be a professional. Unfortunately, I don't have many options where I live and have difficulty traveling long distances, so I always have to rely on a professional's help.

I asked this person to come to me and paid for her transportation. She even sent me several screenshots to "prove" that she was on her way. However, after several days of no communication, she not only disappeared but also blocked me on WhatsApp and Viber .

Although this is an unfortunate experience for me, it's not why I'm writing this post. What frustrates me is reading posts where people suggest that women should have more information about a man's identity, such as their ID card etc , because it's supposedly more complicated for women than for men. I find this so narcissistic when you are unable to put yourself in someone else’s shoes .

It's not harder to be a man or a woman, hard things can happen to anyone. If you don't understand this, then you are the problem

PS : Can anyone report this scam to the Admins , I’m not sure how

Thanks

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Comments

  • [Deleted User]kinny (deleted user)

    @android3665 Dang dude, that sucks. Do you get any money back for no shows?

  • android3665android3665

    @kinny

    I need to contact PayPal but I couldn't because it was Sunday and they were closed. There was no one to answer me

    But I have very little chance to see my money again because I transferred as for a relative in the app

    It's the first time for me here, but I must not have understood how it works because I paid the trip using PayPal

  • ohnonotagainohnonotagain

    @android3665 hey man, sorry to hear. I understand the necessity, but I am very very weary of giving up my ID to a stranger on the internet. Hopefully something could be resolved man, but at least it was just transportation costs instead of the whole amount.

  • birdiegrlbirdiegrl
    edited February 2023

    I’m really sorry that happened to you and it’s complete crap. You should definitely report and if it was up to me, she’d be banned.

    BUT, you really don’t have to compare this to the dangers that women pro-cuddlers are dealing with. Pros have been hurt and raped by clients. To say they should not be protecting themselves is a little crazy. And it’s unnecessary. It’s completely shitty that you got played that way. But please, if you don’t have any empathy for women who’re protecting themselves, I kinda hope you leave CC. Like, I truly would not wanna cuddle with someone who was thinking that way, nor would I feel like I’d trust you with my daughter or female friends.

    I think you may have just been having a hard moment when you wrote this and you’re not really saying that we should not be doing whatever we can to protect ourselves, right???

    I’ve actually never asked for a photo of a potential client because I’d never want someone to feel like I was only going to cuddle them if they met some physical standard. BUT, that’s a big trade off to me, I’ve decided that it’s more important to me to feel like I’m treating people well in this way than the safety in having/seeing their pic first. I have a feeling there are very few women that would see it like I do and I mostly think the rest of us, who do put their own safety above your feelings are probably healthier than I am. lol And I just want to make sure you hear me … it is in no way narcissistic to not want to be raped and to try to not let that happen. That’s actually pretty darned basic human survival.

  • CuddleWhoCuddleWho
    edited February 2023

    Yeah this is why I generally don't pay anything ahead of time to someone I haven't met. And when I do, I accept that I may just be throwing money away. I've been scammed or stolen from multiple times on this site, but it's rarely come as a complete surprise - I knew I was taking a risk.

    But yeah you can definitely report her - click on the 3 dots on her profile. Don't expect to get any money back though.

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles

    @android3665 I'm so sorry this happened to you. Definitely contact PayPal with screenshots to try to get your money back.

    If she's blocked you from viewing her profile here, you can still report her by going to your PM string with her and clicking the three dots on the top right, like so...

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

  • android3665android3665

    @SunsetSnuggles Thank you, I will try to contact PayPal today but I don't have much hope

  • android3665android3665

    @CuddleWho So now you only take profiles that have several stars I guess?

    At least that's what I'm going to do, because unfortunately I don't really have a choice

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel
    edited February 2023

    @android3665 I totally agree with @CuddleWho. I never pay up front or a large deposit. I have also been scammed that way. But you do have to state firmly that you pay cash in person. If they can’t accept that then move on to the next.

    You kind of have to go into this knowing that not everyone fits you or gets you and that you have boundaries as well. And money is a type of boundary because I am well aware that the Prince of Nigeria’s life is not hinging on my donation.

    Likewise, the women will have criteria for cuddling. I fully understand that. A picture from me? Of course. The address of the location she is coming to? Definitely. Messaging or checking in with their safety buddy? She’s dumb not to. Paying up front? Nope that’s where my line is. The first ones are safety requirements but the deposit or advanced payment is a business practice. Everyone is different though.

  • CuddleWhoCuddleWho

    @android3665 I still see new people without karma. I'm just very unlikely to send them money ahead of time.

  • achetocuddleachetocuddle

    @rubidoux Your message is spot on.

  • BlueskiesBlueskies

    I would never, ever pay a deposit in advance.

  • android3665android3665

    @rubidoux In this case, you have misread my post

    I made it clear that what makes me tired are people who only speak for themselves, without thinking about others

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    I’m sorry that this happened, always be aware there will be scammers lurking wherever $$ transactions are.
    You clearly want sympathy, I get that. It’s been said before, choose Pros who have multiple Karma’s. Maybe don’t choose one who is new and has lots of sexy photos.
    I think male commenters are just really tired of hearing about the risks that women experience here & beyond this site.
    There’s no comparison between the OPs loss to being a victim of rape, abuse, or being physically overpowered.
    You all should watch the movie Deliverance.

  • birdiegrlbirdiegrl

    “What frustrates me is reading posts where people suggest that women should have more information about a man's identity, such as their ID card etc , because it's supposedly more complicated for women than for men. I find this so narcissistic when you are unable to put yourself in someone else’s shoes .

    It's not harder to be a man or a woman, hard things can happen to anyone. If you don't understand this, then you are the problem”

    What is this about it being more complicated? The difference between being scammed out of $50 (send any more than that beforehand and you’re just being silly, sorry!) and being beaten up or raped or worse is light years but you are acting like your $50 is on par. I think it is you, not me or whoever it is that ripped you off, who’s not able to empathize with others.

    I have a lotta empathy about what happened to you — until you make it obvious that you were already pissed before this happened that some pro cuddlers ask for what you feel is excessive proof that a client is safe. But should it be your gut that guides all us ladies to decide what makes us feel safe? I’d say f*ck no! No woman is or should be required to go into a cuddle situation without feeling safe and some women apparently think they’ll only feel safe w a shot of your DL. So don’t cuddle those women, ffs. This is how it should be: if they think they need that protection they should have it. And if you think you don’t wanna supply it, then you shouldn’t.

  • birdiegrlbirdiegrl

    BTW, ladies, be careful because sometimes men don’t enjoy seeing women standing up for themselves. I’ve been reported and had two of my pics taken down for being suggestive in the last hour after having them up here for well over a year. They were in no way suggestive and they were not probably in the top 10% of suggestive pics I’ve seen here. It’s apparently not a good look to do more than pat them on the head when they tell us that their wants are more important than our safety.

  • mike_honchomike_honcho

    a pro asking for a deposit or fee upfront should be a huge red flag. fake profiles are everywhere and when they can target victims that are oblivious to the theft that’s about to take place…well a few to several scams a day can add up to a pretty healthy chunk of change.

    it doesn’t have to be pro profiles either. ive been asked to purchase Amazon gift cards to pay the babysitter. the scammer will ask for pics of the card and the receipt. ive been wise to the red flags and have been able to fool a scammer into agreeing to meet in a city that’s different from their profile.

    bottom line…everyone just needs to be cautious. it sux to be a victim of any sort.

  • cuddlefaerycuddlefaery

    So, I have to agree with everything @rubidoux has said. While I empathize with OP, there was definitely a line crossed here.

    And also this should be said about deposits and prepays: not all of them are red flags or scams. It is absolutely legitimate if you want to have a boundary of not prepaying a la @FunCartel , but please don't got maligning all pros who use deposits. Some legitimate reasons we might use them:

    • if we are being required to travel a long distance (to cover our fuel/travel and to help discourage cancellation after we have already travelled)
    • for clients who have cancelled last minute or no showed repeatedly but whom we are giving benefit of the doubt / aren't ready to cut loose yet
    • for clients who have no or bad karma and thus present a higher risk of being no shows
    • for new clients who have requested a longer session/bigger investment of our time and energy but have not yet earned our trust
      And the list goes on...
  • birdiegrlbirdiegrl

    I feel like I’ve gotten whipped up a little, not to say I didn’t mean what I said, but I have gotten really sensitive about this stuff lately, probably because being a pro-cuddler puts you in a position to have to patrol your boundaries pretty hard. I’ve had quite a few sessions with very respectful and compassionate cuddlers, but as a woman in this (I know, not OP’s) culture I’ve had a lifetime of dealing with men who were not concerned in the slightest with my well-being, and that also happens in the cuddle context. The idea that I’ve been cuddling with men who’d agree with OP makes me feel a little frantic, I think because when I’m with them I’ve always been really open and, omg, are they just having bitter thoughts about me not deserving to feel safe at their expense. That is just an ugly image to me. I definitely want my cuddle partners to feel safe even if it puts me out a little.

  • [Deleted User]MaverickLegend (deleted user)

    I have a question for the pro cuddlers… if you constantly have to patrol your boundaries, worry about cancellations, and even have concern for your well-being in terms of possibly being assaulted why would you even be in this line of work? I know for me personally, if I was applying for a job and the job description told me well there’s a 1 to 10% chance that you could be assaulted that’s not a job that I’m going to take or a position I’m gonna put myself in

  • BrandiBrandi
    edited February 2023

    Oof. Well while I do absolutely have empathy for OP, as well as any other person who has been scammed out of money on here, I cant with good conscious read threads like these with undermining of pros and their need for safety procedures and not say something... The comparison was quite absurd and I wholeheartedly agree with the other women who have spoke up; in this thread as well as many others. I dont personally ask for ID however i fully understand and respect those who do. Ive done this professionally for over 6 years now and ive seen the good the bad and the ugly; personally as well as speaking to other pros who have dealt with some shady stuff. This world can be a nasty place. Extra precautions should never be shamed and it seems to be a very common occurrence, which is really disheartening. This site is about comfort and the fact that so many have gone out of their way to discuss making pros feel shamed for trying to be comfortable is disturbing. The biggest response this conversation has brought up is and always will be the best response; if you don’t feel comfortable, don’t do it! And that goes for sending an ID photo or money or whatever it is.

    @lonelytauros i cant speak for everyone but i can speak for myself on your question. Throughout my cuddle journey, as ive mentioned Ive experienced the good bad and the ugly. But thats how i see the world. Theres good, and bad to every job/life experience. and the way i see it, i have just as much a chance to get hurt or attacked by going to a bank Ag the atm, or being at my public job. Theres plenty of professions where people put their life/safety/mental health at risk because it’s worth knowing you help people; examples; police officers, fire fighters, therapists, etc, the list goes on and on.

    Speaking up and being assertive with boundaries does wonders. In cuddling and in every day experiences. those great experiences, creating amazing cuddle connections with regulars, and helping people who genuinely need me in certain moments who really just need a hug and treat me with all the respect and kindness make it all worth it (to me) its definitely not for everyone, and i totally understand why, the rate of pros that sign up and quit shortly after is fairly high.

  • [Deleted User]Calibrate715 (deleted user)

    Speaking as an enthusiast and someone new to this site: I am bringing a well, stranger - for lack of a better term, into my home. I am placing myself in a physically vulnerable position.

    My requirements for doing so are this:

    • Picture of your i.d. with just the picture/name showing. I'm happy to provide the same info.

    • Picture of your vehicle (again, welcome to mine as well).

    This information is sent to my friend who I also contact after the session. These requirements are in place so I have some measure of protection. There are people on this site that can range from overstepping boundaries to rape.

    If you can't appreciate safety measures being taken by women on this site, I'd strongly suggest you examine that perspective over being angry about money you lost.

  • [Deleted User]MrAdmirer (deleted user)

    I apologize to all the legit pros who ask for deposits, because I know some of you have legit reasons due to cancellations, but I just won't agree to pay someone upfront, EVER. Not even to cover gas. And this is coming from someone who paid the 50% fee to a pro I never met because I had to cancel last minute. (At least that story has a happy ending because I rebooked and we had a wonderful session a few days later.)

  • MonkeyNeedsAHugMonkeyNeedsAHug
    edited February 2023

    My guy,

    Sorry you got ripped off. But @rubidoux did not misread your post. You conflated a legit complaint (that you got scammed) with a non sequitur (that it’s as hard to be a man as a woman).
    Not only does that false equivalency distract from your argument, it makes you seem insensitive to the significant challenges women face. That is a bad look here, and in general.

  • jplemmonjplemmon

    I have paid small deposits a couple of times. The one time I did so without karma I asked for a quick video call. If someone will not do that, it's a scam.

  • [Deleted User]SnugglesRus (deleted user)

    @lonelytauros I’ll answer for myself. Because cuddling isn’t a job. It is a gift to share. A healing avenue to make a difference for those who come to me. Being a pro (vs enthusiast) has helped me sort out a lot that I don’t want to handle, but it doesn’t make it safe, unfortunately.
    Men who are not willing and understanding of my need for safety are not those for me. That is ok. I don’t attack them for that, I simply say that I don’t do it that way.

    It’s always ok to see our own needs and boundaries and hold them strongly. What isn’t healthy is feeling badly that people have boundaries that one wishes they didn’t and turn it into an attack. That happens too often on these threads, and it just makes me sad.

    There is NO doubt that women are more vulnerable in this space and we still put ourselves out there. I do it because hearing from a grateful cuddler what a difference my unique care and touch has made for them will sustain me through the cancellations that I can’t regain my time from, disrespectful messages and treatment, etc. It’s just what being an adult is. I’m not here because it’s easy and feels good every day, but because it’s what I keep believing in for those who show up with genuine connection, need, and appreciation for what I give.

    @android3665 I cannot say how sorry I am this happened to you! Anyone, man or woman, who takes advantage of others should be banned from this site.
    Taking the frustration of that out toward having safety boundaries is not appropriate.

    In regards to deposits, that is not a red flag in this area. We have very little info on a person, no way to regain a day with a cancel. I recently was given good advice by a fellow pro on how to take a deposit without either person revealing personal information. After two cancels on the same day that required the loss of hotel reservation fees in addition to my day and travel, I will be requiring a small deposit going forward. It isn’t a business practice as much as ensuring that a person intends to respect their commitment as I am.

    All in all, a little understanding goes a long way in a community. What I love so very much here is the incredible amount of diversity that we share among us. Let’s honor that by respecting those differences without the attacks when we don’t agree with how others walk it all out.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel
    edited February 2023

    Although this is an unfortunate experience for me, it's not why I'm writing this post. What frustrates me is reading posts where people suggest that women should have more information about a man's identity, such as their ID card etc , because it's supposedly more complicated for women than for men. I find this so narcissistic when you are unable to put yourself in someone else’s shoes .

    I have to admit that when I read the venom coming from some of the pros on this thread i was taken aback by it because I found no one questioning a pro’s safety requirements, only their wish to be paid up front. Then I read the paragraph above from the OP in the first post of the thread. Now I see why.

    @android3665 I hope you were writing out of frustration because you were scammed because you are doing what you are accusing pros of doing—not putting yourself in someone else’s shoes. Safety is an incredible concern they have and if they require some steps to feel safe then so be it. You do not have to book with them. But imagine if this was your mother or some other female close to you. Wouldn’t you want them to be safe? Many of us said don’t pay up front or pay a deposit because that is more of a business practice than a safety practice, but asking for a picture or ID with redacted information is safety measure against assault. That is anything but narcissism.

    I hope this is inexperience on your part because this is a bad look jfor you to women and does convey a lack of caring for the safety of these women. I know it sucks to be scammed and ripped off because I have been there. But calling someone a narcissist for wanting to feel safe sucks for them.

  • bekah_cuddlesbekah_cuddles

    @rubidoux @cuddlefaery @Brandi @Calibrate715 @MonkeyNeedsAHug
    👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 Thank you for speaking up.

    I had empathy for the OP only for his first two paragraphs. Once he decided to use this minor inconvenience as a weapon to put down women for having safety measures in place, I saw red. What an insensitive narcissistic thing to do.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    It isn’t a business practice as much as ensuring that a person intends to respect their commitment as I am.

    Not to be contentious, but that is pretty much the definition of a business practice. To place an order for a car they require a deposit to make sure you are committed. And this is why so many guys won’t pay the deposit—they have been ripped off by a no-show who pocketed that money. I don’t think a pro would pay a client to ensure they were going to show. The reasoning you gave is where some trust comes in. If they have followed safety protocols then a deposit shouldn’t be required in my opinion. However, if they are new, have bad karma, live a long ways away, etc then I can see it. That’s my approach and several other guys. But I respect someone who requires it, I just won’t book with them.

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    I'm a little confused -- you were scammed because you paid money up front, not because you showed ID, so not sure of the connection between the two. And if you paid through PayPal, the pro already had your full name, and if you were hosting, they had your address, so what information would they have gotten off a redacted ID she didn't already have? Even with just your address, anybody can find out a lot about you in five minutes on the Internet.

    I hope you get your money back, but since you unfortunately (possibly in an effort to save you or the pro fees) classified this as friends and family instead of the business transaction it was, you probably won't. Had you done it as a business transaction, you would have had purchase protection.

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