Figuring out the site

Kingdouble659Kingdouble659
edited May 2016 in General
  1. It seems that due to the lack of people, there are some vast quantities of space that people aren't in. It seems like a bummer to know the nearest person to me is 256 miles away.
  2. Also, people have funny ways a defining where they set boundaries and I am curious of your thoughts. Me personally, while hugging a friend I am not romantically involved with, I got a boner and backed my hips away, but kept the hug going for 15 more minutes. What do you think of this and would being blatantly  sexually aroused be an issue during cuddling?

Comments

  • docgatorbdocgatorb
    it happens, most women seem to understand,
  • docgatorbdocgatorb
    What's the thing about age? Older men need hugs, but many younger women feel that it is perverted or weird.
    Or the thing about money, it seems that the only women who can get past all of these issues are the ones getting paid for it at $80 per hour.I can get massages by people who learned about massages for $60 per hour and they have the overhead of rent,
    None of this makes sense,
  • emissary2ornjemissary2ornj
    @Kingdouble659

    1. This is a frequent observation made in the forums. I am fortunate in this sense: there are proportionately more men and than women signed up, so I at least get results when I search locally. I still have to refine them through my personal filters. That has resulted so far in one prospect with whom I've exchanged messages. 

    My current (I think current; we've only been able to meet once. My fingers are tightly crossed for future cuddle dates.) cuddle buddy had a personal ad posted in Craigslist's strictly platonic section. He's not really what I'd consider local. We're still almost 100 miles apart. 

    2. Humans are sexual beings. My philosophy is that involuntary arousal is probably going to happen. It's way less blatant for us ladies, meaning I can hide the involuntary physical reaction. I would have been comfortable with how you handled it. Perhaps a reassurance that you're not rejecting the cuddle, just making some distance from the simulation would be comforting. Or a verbal request for a position change. For me, it helps to acknowledge that the sexual energy is present, and to make a conscious choice to let it be and pass without pursuing it. 

    @docgatorb
    Ageism. I think there's a whole tangled up discussion in there about society's beauty standards. Also about how we have reduced acceptable touch to basically two scenarios (sex or parent-child). Which is ridiculous. Our need for touch is about so much more than attractiveness and virility and sex and parenting! Of course it can include those things, but they're only a slice of the pie. 
  • JoeSomebody2JoeSomebody2
    It's been a time since I've been to Cuddle Comfort (again), but I'm curious to see how it's grown since then. Or hasn't? *shrug* New concepts are always a work in progress. Why I think the use of this network is always in flux, because cuddling and touching in general is always "hand off" (ha ha). And cuddling is something everyone no matter the age seeks, though we keep everyone in their respective boxes, confining ourselves and/or others.

    Best you can do is keep fighting the good fight till all this feels...normal. Like its no big deal. And it isn't. Keep working toward that. ;)
  • docgatorbdocgatorb
    It doesn't feel that there has been much change since you were here last except there are a lot more female members listing themselves as professionals
  • docgatorbdocgatorb
    So, cuddling is a high-risk interaction, When I was learning massage therapy, a woman who operated a spa explained that they had cameras installed in the massage rooms to protect the massage therapists against claims that they had made sexual advances with their clients, She stated that this protection was mostly to protect the male massage therapists. Apparently, there were a number of female clients who would threaten to claim that the male massage therapist made sexual advances, Since such a claim could ruin the career of the massage therapist, the male massage therapist would feel that he had to do whatever the woman demanded. The cameras put an end to that, Without the cameras, no one would believe the male massage therapists.

    It may be true that many of the men on this site are lacking social skills and hope that cuddling will help them overcome their fear of women. But, at least most of them post a picture which is a more decent profile than one without a picture. People who live in glass houses should not be the first to throw stones..
  • MaverickMaverick
    I think arousal is a thing that's going to happen and as mentioned before, men are a lot more helpless as far as masking it goes, especially if they aren't cuddling in 3 pairs of jeans and a jock strap. I wouldn't be immediately repelled by signs of arousal. After all, this morning I became aroused while eating a bagel. I have no devious plans for the bagel, and I'm not aroused because I was thinking of hot bagel on cream cheese action, or any other action for that matter. Sometime's a boner's just a boner.
  • docgatorbdocgatorb
    Those sexy little bagels. No doubt that they deserved what happened to them. Scold those bagels, Bad Bagels!
  • CrispinCrispin
    Those bagels know EXACTLY what they are doing!
  • BruinBruin
    I made my profile more expansive for a while. I've edited it down because it only seems to pander to the daters/sweetie shoppers. I have no interest in them.
  • docgatorbdocgatorb
    The daters/sweetie shoppers don't hand around for too long and some of them are bots. Stay focused on the cuddlers, who tend to be shy.
  • jhaecross07jhaecross07
    I've gotten plenty of calls & I'm still not an professional. ..lol