@1_teddybear I like to meander through different minds so just curious about what you think each party might learn from said swapping.
@AllAboutSoul @MonkeyNeedsAHug Thatās a very good point Iām sure thatās probably what he did for the future reference because Iām sure he wouldnāt visit my profile for a long time but may end up forgetting. I literally said I saw that you visit my profile a few times are you planning on visiting Cleveland? That was it I donāt think that sounds rude. Just was curious thatās all. Iām just venting people Iām not upset or anything like that. Itās just funny though heās looking for only enthusiast but he clicks on my profile three days in a row. Thatās all Iām saying donāt get your feathers ruffled I am not. But I do agree with both of you thatās probably what he was doing just making sure he didnāt click back on my site thanks for saying that. I just have never been a person to not tell somebody why I am upset or why I did what I did. Iāve never been one to ghost. If someone says something out right rude or sexual and I block them theyāll know what itās about.
It was just a good forum post after not being on for a whileš¬
He blocked you so he doesn't mistakenly open/visit your profile again.
@KozyKim Take it as a favor that you wonāt have to deal with him anymore.
Take care.
Itās always nice to hear what other people think in their comments. I guess I didnāt grow up in the ghosting and blocking generation. I am a confronter I donāt have a problem with confronting people and asking them questions and why are you mad at me or things like that. Iāve had great success confronting people with love and gentleness. I love closure thatās one of my things I love when people say goodbye or why they have to go, I can deal better with closure. Of course this scenario is really nothing itās just a blocked enthusiast itās not a big deal.
I do think though itās good to give some kind of closure to people. You shouldnāt let them guess what they did to hurt you or why are you no longer want to be their friend.
I went out on a date for three times and then I told the guy that Iām no longer interested in dating anymore and he said he was devastated and I gave him two whole days of closure texting me and I texted him back. I didnāt just block him or not answer his text. My young friends looking for dates get ghosted and blocked and ignored all the time after theyāve gone on one or two dates. We should learn the art of confrontation and closure. It really helps people to move on, or change their behavior.
@cuddlefaery - Nonsense. You're over reacting to what I said. She was worrying about why she was blocked. I offered a probable reason. Read my post more carefully. I did not suggest that he was staring at her breasts. Rather, I used that as an analogy. Her question to him was analogous to calling him out She's already taken what action she could. Since she's been blocked, there is absolutely nothing more that she can do about it she might just as well move on, instead of continuing to fret about it.
I absolutely did not tell her "to accept unwanted sexual attention as a compliment." I don't see that she was the recipient of any sexual behavior at all, wanted or otherwise. At worst, my saying "Take it as a compliment" was a poor choice of words. I probably should have said "Understand it as a compliment"
On a more general level, there are so many women who flaunt their breasts, that they are training men to stare at them. I suspect that you didn't watch the recent Oscar ceremony. I didn't either. but for days after, the news was full of who wore what daring, partially transparent dress. Hardly a day goes by, that my news feed doesn't include a photo of some actress or model in a bikini that hardly covers anything at all.
You're not fighting a loosing battle. You're fighting a battle that's already been lost. Even your own profile has a drawing of a naked woman with part of one breast visible. Btw. I do like your cat photos, I have one who looks just like yours.
See, I've learned over the years that that isn't giving someone closure...that's people pleasing. You can't give people closure, only explainations. Closure only comes from within when someone decides that the explainations are enough to justify the end and move on, or that they are ready to forgive any wrongs done and let go of the hurt so they can move on.
I absolutely agree that more people should say what they mean when they're able to do so, rather than play word games or just disappearing. But I don't agree that someone disappearing after two dates is not ghosting, and we need to stop misusing the term because it loses all gravity when overused. Ghosting is intended to apply when emotional attachment has formed and relationship commitments have been made - it's a form of emotional abuse and no where near the same thing as when someone decides that a new connection just isn't working out.
@GreatHornedOwl you are ok:)
Thanks for everyoneās post. I really appreciate them. I guess this turn from a post about me being blocked, to hopefully someone seeing that closure it is important. Tell people how you feel about them. Donāt let anyone question your love for them.
Have a great day lots of hugs and cuddles.
Ps. Be quick to listen and slow to react. Really understanding where someoneās coming from before you re-post something about them.š
@GreatHornedOwl 1) if you're going to critique my reading comprehension you should first work on your own - reread my comment - I explicitly said that the scenario you presented, aka the analogy you used, was the problem.
2) And seriously, again? I call out a problematic comment you made about sexualizing women's bodies for the sake of an analogy, and you sexualize a non-sexual photo on my profile? Not all nudity is sexual. just because the media does it doesn't mean you have to you have to perpetuate it. Sex and sexuality are great, when they are welcomed with consent. The losing battle is because of responses like yours that try to highbrow without actually paying attention to what is being said.
Edit to add: if a woman wants to flaunt her breasts, that is her perogative - it is her body and she has every right to be proud of it. What is not ok is you using a guy staring at a woman's breasts without consent and making her uncomfortable as some sort of "it's ok, because everyone does it". That's the "boys will be boys" excuse and it doesn't fly any more.
@cuddlefaery I agree with you I doubt that that person needed all that time for closure it was only three dates. But I felt good about giving it to him whether he took advantage of it or not.
Yes the ghosting Iām talking about is my friend go on a few dates find the person to be very fun and then just donāt hear back from them. I guess thereās different levels of ghosting. Iām not in the dating scene so I donāt know what they all are.
@KozyKim just a thought - when you go that overkill with the "giving closure", it's probably more about assuaging your own conscience than actually making the other person feel better or understand more. All it's doing is dragging out the process and muddying the communication most likely.
But yes, rejection is super subjective and everyone reacts differently. I think we just have to be careful about using hyperbolic language - though language absolutely does evolve over time so perhaps we'll have new words for more nuance.
@cuddlefaery thatās a really good point. I may have to look up some of the words you used lol Iāll think about that I always have something to learn. I do like to ease my conscience. Iāll have to admit, but I also feel like I like someone to know that the relationship is closed out however that is communicated so they donāt wonder whatās going on. Maybe I have some insecurities.
I have two really great examples of closure if you ever want to private message me that really helped me move on and made me free. I would love to share. Thanks for your input hugs to you
@KozyKim Iām thinking that blocking is like the new fad or maybe he saw this button called block and he was like I wonder what this does lol š I myself have been blocked by other people. Can you believe that! who would want to block an awesome ninja cuddler like myself!
@cuddlefaery - You're putting words in my mouth again. I said that a guy staring at a woman's breasts without consent and making her uncomfortable is an unavoidable fact of life. I never said, or even suggested that it's ok.
You went on to say "if a woman wants to flaunt her breasts, that is her perogative - it is her body and she has every right to be proud of it. What is not ok is you using a guy staring at a woman's breasts without consent........." Don't you see that those two sentences contradict each other?
When a woman goes out in public wearing the skimpiest possible bikini, or a transparent dress, with her nipples visible, she does it for one, and only one purpose. That is to attract attention so that people (especially men) will stare at her. The very act of dressing that way sends an implied consent to stare. To believe that she is saying "look at my beautiful breasts, but ask for permission before you stare at them," is the height of absurdity.
A woman can be proud of her body without choosing to flaunt it. However, when she does choose to flaunt it, she does so because she wants to be looked at. For how many seconds is it okay to look at her before looking gets transformed into staring
@KozyKim So he wasn't entirely honest as he booked a Pro nearly 2 years ago, but odds are the session wasn't the experience he was expecting because something revolving around the money part.... could have been how the money exchange was brought up or handled at some point of the session, could have been something mental on his end with overthinking, could have just been a bad experience, or he thinks himself pretty enough he shouldn't need to pay to cuddle someone. Who knows?
But yes, some people do come to the site strictly to find other Enthusiasts to meet with and while that does drastically limit your options, it's not impossible. As for him repeatedly visiting your profile, that is a bit strange, but as a Pro with him visiting your profile you are well within your right to message him after he's visited your profile at least once. Many site members are shy and may repeatedly visit a Pro they are considering or wanting to book with but don't know how to send an initial message to start the process of showing that interest.
When a woman goes out in public wearing the skimpiest possible bikini, or a transparent dress, with her nipples visible, she does it for one, and only one purpose.
When a man walks topless at the beach, showing off both his nipples like the dirty litt.. ahem.. he does it for one purpose.. one purpose only! /sarcasm
#FreeTheNipple
@KozyKim - I agree with @Rezz that he likely blocked you so he doesn't accidentally/mistakenly visit your profile again. It's a shame that users have to use this feature for this particular purpose. I've submitted so many ideas to this site, it's crazy to think how many. The site desperately needs a "hide this profile" feature as a user preference. It's not a block! It's just a one-sided hide, so that a user doesn't have to see that profile anymore. This concept is extremely common across the tech industry, and usually provides an 'unhide' should the user change their mind. This would have likely been perfect for the scenario you've experienced. Presumably, he could have simply hidden you instead of outright blocking you. It's a much better solution, but alas, my suggestions so far have fallen on no responses from this site.
I understand your dilemma and it has been interesting to see all the varied topics spine-off from your main topic. (ha) I agree with your assessment that there is a generation gap of social practices(?), not just in your scenario but across many social interactions/venues. Sadly, there's not much that can be done to educate others, but we can try. As we know, with the youngest generations, they don't yet realize the outcome of their actions, so in today's world, they can easily delete/block/whatever without any worry or concern. Some of the issues will just work themselves out, but some things they just have to learn on their own.
@tacpmurg --- my sentiments exactly when I'm reading some of these responses. ššš
@tacpmurg & @MissAdventurous - Perhaps, it's more useful to look at what is real, instead of what might be ideal.
It may not be either ideal of fair that men's nipples and women's nipples are viewed differently. However, that they are viewed differently is simply a fact. Trying to change that fact is akin to beating your head against a wall.
No trying to change the mentality that that's what's "real" is why, not just me, so many people are hitting THEIR head against the proverbial wall.
And explaining the life experience of a woman, is definitely not in your wheelhouse. I suggest you kindly set aside your asinine ideas of what YOU deem acceptable, vs the actual women involved. You know it's 2023 right? Not 1923?
You have absolutely no point of view to make a point, besides I AM MAN... I SEE TIT ....SHE MUST WANT ATTENTION .... šš
really, I'd stop arguing this -- it is making you sound atrocious to the female body of cuddlers on here. Best of luck with your closed minded ideals of what a woman's body is meant to be displayed for anyone else, but themselves. What a twist. I dress for me, not you.
@GreatHornedOwl I dunno what to say, my raging uncontrollable hormones are too tempted by the sight of them.. they need to cover up! Really, it's all their fault for tempting me.
Have you considered a bra?
@tacpmurg & @MissAdventurous thank you š for a second there I thought I'd been mansplained into oblivion in my sleep deprived state.
@GreatHornedOwl let's break this down into little pieces do you don't confuse it further:
@nature700 thank you for your well thought out response. And staying on topic. I think that would be great if there was an option to hide a profile.
When women argue for things like equal pay, access to child care, etc., Not only are they right, but they also have a good chance to succeed. However, to argue that men shouldn't look when a woman deliberately appears in public with her breasts exposed, is the height of absurdity. That isn't the way the world works, and probably never will be. Men are genetically programmed to look.
@MissAdventurous - I resent your effort to make me the bad guy by putting words in my mouth. I especially resent having the words that I actually used called asinine.
I absolutely did not advocate anything. Nor did I advocate anything. I merely described that which is.
I defy you to offer any explanation for why a woman will go out in public with her breasts exposed, if she doesn't want people to look at her.
In 1633, Galileo was tried, convicted, and sentenced by the Church. His crime was not advocating that the Earth should rotate around the Sun. Rather, he was asserting that the Earth did, in fact, rotate around the sun. The Church preferred to advocate that the Earth should be the center of the universe, and so of course, Galileo must be wrong.
You are behaving like the medieval Church. You want to replace the reality of how things are, with your belief in how things should be. You may very well may be right in your belief in how things should be, but right or wrong, you belief does not change how things are. I would think that in the 4 centuries since Galileo, we might have learned the difference between advocating and asserting. Apparently, you have not.
@cuddlefaery - You appear not to have learned the difference either.
@tacpmurg - I very much doubt that the sight of this 81 year old body (either with or without a shirt) will get your hormones doing much of anything at all.
Hey @Sideon Can you close out this forum post? Thank you
Dear Great Horned owl, I donāt know you, but I have this thread throughly, and maybe itās time to listen, rather than be heard. The woman here have made a clear point that I believe is not setting with you Because I am not a woman I am not offering my opinion on this subject, but I am going to say I hear them, and think society as a whole needs to grow up, listen, and correct themselves when called to do so. Man has tried and tried again to set the standards for everyone to follow for far to long, rather than listen to the experience of those people, itās really shameful Experience matters, itās really simple, listen to the experience, and than move with care
There's the need to have some kind of ghost browsing option to prevent misunderstandings or giving the wrong impression.
I'm going to be completely honest that I visit the same profiles often for several reasons:
-I've seen someone on the front of the site in my feed that I forget I clicked on previously
-I'm browsing something they posted on here, I might forget I viewed them before or I clicked by mistake
Lastly, the most frequent is that I'm reminding myself of their schedule, rates, distance
@kozykim - I suggested something like that for another thread several days ago. Nobody paid any attention then either.
@Julesocean - You're absolutely right when you say that society need to grow up. However, I fail to see why is seems to be so difficult for some people to understand the difference between how things should be, as opposed to how things are. I have been asserting how things are, but I am being accused of advocating how things should be.
Let me reiterate folks. There is an asserting how things are, and advocating how things should be. We are not still living in the 17th century.
Great horned owl, I do t think itās really a debate of how things are vs, how things should be The how things are part is troublesome for Woman and the right to feel free to be. To express themselves how they want, without having to explain It, or know that men feel the need to sexualize the situation because of a choice in clothing, or because of the body type they have I again donāt think itās a manās place to offer an opinion about a womanās experience of men, and the uncomfortable nature with which we man like to explain away an obviously uncomfortable situation we men have created through our eyes A woman can be, just be, without men becoming aroused with what might be the reasoning in there minds the intent of clothes, or exposer of a part of themselves they are proud of If a woman says she is uncomfortable with this or that. We man should listen, and correct ourselves After so many times not doing so, I believe itās time to correct course, and try something g new