@pmvines I could not agree more.
Tags were removed by three different mods so stop jumping on @Charlie_Bear. I think they are removing all signs of the sexual innuendo bordering on sexual grooming because it simply doesn’t belong on the site and it trumps clarity for people reading the thread. Don’t understand what’s going on? DM someone and ask, but they are protecting the site and community, not your reading enjoyment.
@FunCartel I said in my post that I'm going lightly and that he's doing a good job, nobody is attacking anybody here . I hadn't seen where the other comments were modified . You call folks out fairly regularly yourself on here as well. I don't consider my comment an attack on @Charlie_Bear and I'm pretty sure he knows me well enough to realize that. I do concede to your point that DMs are the better path.
I love to give and receive compliments of all types. I find it's a simple way to lower someone's guard, especially nowadays when everyone seems so closed off. I genuinely enjoy seeing someone's smile after a compliment.
@pmvines There is a difference for calling someone out for attacking someone, being racist, etc. and calling out a guy that is new at his job and following the rules of those above him and who probably cares more about this community than both of us combined. He has stated his lack of confidence before so I don’t know if he knows what your intent was.
When I message people I’m more wanting to convey that I’m a safe person to cuddle with.
Compliments come later when rapport and trust is built. Even then, for me, it’s not about appearance but about intelligence and attributes.
I want potential cuddlers to know I’m a safe, fluffy, cuddly, bear!
@pmvines Heh sorry. I was just responding to a flag. I haven’t been reading through the discussions so it’s more of a quick judgement call. I figured removing the tag would be better than deleting the comment. I don’t recall removing any other tags, though if I did I would have left a note.
Edit: I could dismiss the flag but I personally don’t like the thought of someone flagging something and then feeling ignored.
@Charlie_Bear @FunCartel In no way did I mean offense or anything perosnal. Yall have a good weekend.
@pmvines I'm actually really irked. I think there is a thread somewhere where I can express my displeasure because never have I felt so personally attacked. I say, good sir, that I shall express my displeasure and level of irkness posthaste! [Shakes fist at sky]
For any woman on this site, the fear of being trapped with a man who has made some very wrong assumptions as to the purpose of their meeting must be very palpable. Communicating honestly is gold here. Do looks make a difference in choosing a cuddle buddy? Sure they do. But those who rely on complimenting based on looks reveal they may not be looking any deeper than skin. We have very little control over how God made us.
I've always had the opinion, personally, that compliments on appearance aren't something I enjoy because it's simply an observation. Especially if it's about figure, facial features, etc.
Really good compliments are based on things people can control - hair style, makeup, outfit, things they say or do, the quality of such things, etc.
Examples: "You're beautiful" - boring, unoriginal. "Your hair color is gorgeous, is it natural?" - Enjoying what could have been a choice, makes them feel good about that choice.
"Your eyes are stunning" - Cool, thanks? "Your eye makeup makes your eyes absolutely pop!" - Complimenting skill and appearance.
But that's just me!
@sophie4404 I didn’t realize it but I completely agree.
@sophie4404 Absolutely!
@Charlie_Bear those damn shadow jaguars
thinking everyone deserves good words to be added to make there day brighter
@sophie4404 I agree that compliments based on something you can control are more thoughtful than compliments based on thing you can’t control like your genes.
But, like many other guys, I rarely receive compliments, so when I do get told things like I’m handsome, I get ecstatic inside!
I would 💯 prefer to be complimented on what I’ve written in my profile, my karma, or receive a comment or question about an activity in my photos. I am highly likely to engage in this conversation topic. If I receive a compliment on my face I may respond “thank you” but there’s not much else to discuss. If it’s about my body, well then my defenses will be activated as it’s coming across as possibly nonplatonic.
@CuddlesbyJen the last line you said makes a lot of sense
@pmvines I had just watched an episode of 1923 that had jaguars in it and they seem terrifying so I felt the need to incorporate them into that comment 😅
I've yet to meet a woman or man who doesn't appreciate a sincere compliment about their looks, body, intellect, car, house, personality, breath, clothes, music, forum posts, career, etc. People love to be complimented by and large. I suspect that for every person who is offended by a compliment about their looks, there's someone else who'll be offended by a compliment about their intellect ("are you calling me a nerd???"), personality, or something else. I say compliment, compliment, compliment, about whatever strikes you as appealing about someone. The world will be a better place 🤗
@SammyG_
I've yet to meet a woman or man who doesn't appreciate a sincere compliment about their looks, body,
Then you clearly haven't read the last three pages.
@SammyG_ surprisingly there are some out there. I don't get it either but that's the wonderful thing about having a variety of choices.
@SammyG_ have you read any of the posts on this thread?
@jplemmon As I understand it, on this platonic website, women get a lot of non-platonic requests. Therefore, a compliment about a woman’s looks on this site could be a sign that the messager wants something non-platonic.
Outside of this website, as I have come to understand, if someone receives a compliment on something they’re constantly complimented about (such as women looking pretty), it’s not going to be very flattering. Telling an NFL superstar that he’s good at football isn’t going to make his day, but maybe telling him he’s a good father might. To those who don’t receive many compliments, it’s likely that almost any compliment will be well received. But usually when we get complimented on things we work hard for, it means more (except for the pro football player who knows he’s good and hears it all the time)
Now, I have been complimented for calling women pretty, but that was in-person in a bar and not online. What they told me is that men don’t compliment women anymore (in person), so I was praised when I did it.
In fairness, appearance is not 100% natural for almost anyone. There is typically quite a bit of effort that goes into it whether we are talking about exercise or fashion, makeup etc.. Is this not worthy of compliment? I'm not saying it's everything or the most important thing but it isn't pure luck either.
@jplemmon I’m also confused as well, trying to navigate the waters of being socially graceful. I’ll not an expert but am sharing what I’ve learned so far. @sophie4404 said it well though, appreciating skill and natural appearance in one is more flattering, like when she said to say your eye makeup makes your eyes pop as opposed to just saying you have pretty eyes.
On this website in general though, I do stay away from comments on appearance since I don’t want to be interpreted as non-platonic. But I have compliment a few person’s appearance here or there if it felt okay to do.
It’s amusing to me that anyone is arrogant enough to compliment anyone.
“Oh yes, I approve of your thing/style/attitude/attribute so MUCH that I wanted you to know that you should be proud you pleased me. Well done!”
So goofy.
An easy way to understand the difference between the words girls and women: Girls = under 18 years old, Women = 18 years old and older.
I don't think the English language is the issue. I just google girl, and this is what popped up: 1. a female child or adolescent. "a six-year-old girl"
2. a young or relatively young woman. "I haven't got the time to meet girls"
Generally, stay away from complimenting looks as you can end up venturing into non-platonic territory, and women cuddlers may not want to interact with someone that seems to be looking for a date or romantic interaction. Know your audience and be willing to accept that they may have a different view than you. Doing this can mean you will have to change your mindset.
A few years ago I complimented a friend of mine on her weight loss as we both kickboxed together for over a year and I had noticed a significant difference in her weight. I was proud of her hard work.
She approached me a week later and said
please don't comment on my weight, I kickbox to feel good mentally and physically, not to lose weight.
Did I dig my heels in and say
but I need you to accept my superficial compliment regardless of how it makes you feel...
No. I sincerely apologized and respected her boundaries. Something that is seriously lacking here.