Can someone please explain to me if it's normal for a cuddler to initially say they would like to book a session and then disappear? This is happening to me multiple times. Am I missing something?
Happened to me more than once..
Right...just when it seems like you're prepared to set up an appointment, BAM! They stop communicating with you. I know I haven't done anything to warrant that response, but I'm just wondering if it happens to others or am I on an island? LOL!
I can imagine they may disappear like the Falcon with its light speed engines re-engaged. I can't speak as a Cuddler, but as a Cuddlee I've experienced Cuddlers disappear. Trying to find them is like tracking down the stolen plans to the battlestation.
LOL! These are not the droids you are looking for!
Grown adult interweb strangers changing their minds about something? Wowsers!
What is the best way to get one of these cuddlers to actually keep an appointment with you? Help me out folks because I keep getting lured in...they're using Jedi mind tricks on me!
This is The Way..
The odds of a female commenting on this nerdy thread...0.05%
I'll take those odds... what do I get?
Never tell me the odds!
This is like being at the bar with my best friends...KaaGee you get marriage proposals from a bunch of Star Wars nerds!
Those odds are inaccurate on the internet @wookie01 ... particularly on forums. We need to fight the stigma! ✊ Nerdy women are not mythical unicorns, even if I'm a fairy lol.
Problem is a lot of those said nerds with their proposal end up being creeps and scare us away, but that's a discussion for other threads.
Re: OP, @StarWars80 unfortunately that is the way of meeting people from the internet. I prefer to keep my expectations minimal so that anything positive that does come from the experience is a pleasant bonus rather than a disappointment. It doesn't matter if it is dating, making friends, hosting events, or getting clients...the best turn out I have gotten is 30% and that's an incredible anomaly and applies to membership only RSVP events I've hosted. Getting people to follow through on meeting up for professional, platonic, or romantic activities? Probably closer to the 10-15% range of the people whom I've talked about meeting up with. And I say this as a woman, so for men you can probably halve that.
Unless there is skin in the game (i.e. money or social pressure/stigma), there is little cost to people backing out last minute on mostly anonymous strangers they've never actually met before. Add the fact that they can just disappear into the ether and never talk to them again, and there's even less incentive to follow through. It could be for any number of reasons - something came up with work or their personal life, they got cold feet, they weren't feeling well, they didn't feel safe... Doesn't matter, the end result is the same. And while we would all love to have all our questions answered and think that would give us "closure", resolution to our emotional attachment to meeting that person starts and ends with us, not them. We can't control other people's actions, but we can change how we respond and how we think about their behaviors, which in turn shapes how we feel emotionally about it.
If you do a forum search here for "ghost" or "ghosting" (even though this is an inaccurate use of the term), you'll see it gets brought up quite regularly here. It might help to read through some of the past discussions and suggestions from others on how to reframe and approach meeting and responding to rejections.
Some really in depth and great insight...thanks for sharing!
@StarWars80 this absolutely does happen and I’m sure for a multitude of reasons. Hope you get to cuddle and connect with someone amazing soon
The odds of an opening message to a random professional actually resulting in a session are something like one in four, I would guess. Or less. (@CuddleWho?)
This thread may help you improve your chances a little:
Professionals can receive a lot of messages and sometimes conversations get lost. I would suggest sending one very polite and friendly nudge, and then give up. Sometimes the professional reappears months later.
Nerds and self-appointed cuddle experts can dissect this all day long as you can see has already been done, but what usually happens is the person who initiated the thread gets a ❌ by their name because they broke innumerable TOS rules on the way to the River Styx where if you give @Sideon a shiny piece of colored glass for his hobby he will provide a boat ride to Banned Land.
But if the OP is legit and provided an accurate photo that wasn’t his one-eyed bishop smiling for the camera, and the photo wasn’t his yearbook pic from thirty years ago, and he wasn’t making lingerie requests at the last minute, I would still have a question—was it a pro or an enthusiast he was trying to book? He never said and the assumption was made that it was a pro.
In the end if someone ghosts it is like spilled milk. Clean it up and blame it on them. Stewing over it is for incels.
In answer to the OP. Yes, it's as perfectly normal as a Perfectly Normal Beast migrating across Lamuella.
It’s pretty normal, as others have said. If you want a more guaranteed cuddle, book with a reputable professional with a well written profile and lots of positive karma.
Good luck
…And send a photo with your message, a nice one with a smile. And ask yourself this - how many times in a day do people change their minds about Something? Anything? Everything? At least once.
Thank you all for weighing in. Valuable insights! Still learning how to navigate this site.
@wookie01 ha! Not likely!
@StarWars80 My advice when using this or any other website is don't take the actions of others personally. If someone ghosts you or just plain vanishes, just move on to someone else. You'll find plenty of wonderful cuddlers here after a while. So don't worry about it.
Thanks TxTom! Lot's of great support from the community! I wish we could all treat each other so kindly.
@StarWars80 id also ask what you mean by “she disappears?”
If she’s not answering for multiple days, odds are she ghosted, but if it’s just a few hours, keep in mind that few cuddlers do this job full time… she probably just got busy. Hang tight for a bit.
@StarWars80 - The first cuddle I ever booked on this site was with a pro who I was going to meet in a public park in Indiana. We had exchanged several messages and she had accepted the booking request but then went radio silent. I messaged her several times in the days leading up to the booked cuddled to try to work out the details (it was a huge park with entrances from several different roads and we had not agreed on a meeting place). I ended up cancelling the session about 1 hour before our scheduled time because she had not responded for days.
Thankfully that was the exception and not the rule. I have never had anything like that happen since then. To this day I have no idea what happened with her but I just moved on and found some other great cuddlers. As others have said above, there are a million possible reasons why this might happen and the vast majority of them have nothing to do with you so don’t take it personal (even though that is sometimes easier said than done). There are lots of great pros and enthusiasts on this site.
Thanks JohnR1972! Yeah it's odd like you said. I will have made initial contact with someone of interest and things APPEAR to be going great and then there is no more contact. I will wait a while (to AintMisbehavin's point...great play by the way LOL!) because I realize that everyone has a life. I don't even check the site everyday...I work and have a family. But after maybe even a couple days and you send a gentle nudge to the cuddler for confirmation and you noitce that they have been on the site since your last correspondence, I'm thinking 'well they are seeing the message...they just aren't responding'. At that point I'm thinking...what happened...where did I lose you? LOL! Now the ones that just disappear altogether and by disappear, I mean you observe that the cuddler has not been back on the site in weeks and maybe months in some cases...that's a different story. I did meet a great cuddler once and she told me that she was afraid that I was a COP. Which I am not and I wasn't sure why she would make that assumption. After meeting her, she definitely was paranoid about law enforcement being on the site for some reason. Anyway there appears to be a lot to unpack here. But thanks for all the great feedback everyone! :-)
@StarWars80 Huh. Makes you wonder what she was doing that she was afraid you were police?
Great point WriterGF. Like I said earlier in the chat, I am learning how to navigate the site. If nothing else, it has been interesting! LOL!
I've had a pro disappear
I've had someone I had been seeing for years suggest that she be my +1 to a wedding then disappeared for 8 months, saw her once and she disappeared again. That was 17 months ago. 🤷