As a client, what are some of your favorite and least favorite things pros do?

I primarily view myself as a cuddling client, who adores the professional cuddling industry and has had sublime experiences with professional cuddlers. I am open to platonically cuddling mutually with folks for sure, but I generally am most comfortable with the formality of a professional relationship, though there is certainly friendship and deep sincere connection in that as there also is in many other awesome professional relationships.

Having been a pro-cuddling client since 2015 on numerous sites and services, I have a list of some of my favorite things I've seen in the best pros and some of my least favorite things I've seen in the pros who may need additional development.

I am very curious to see perspectives from other clients as well as pros or even from pure enthusiasts. I think it can be a very good discussion!

Favorite Things Pros Do:
1. Having perfect hygiene during the session, though I also hold myself to this standard and ideally shower, brush my teeth, and change all my sheets beforehand.
2. Being open to taking on the emotionally-giving role. I think of doing this as "offering to hold me as opposed to assuming I will do the holding" or "being the one taking on the maternal or masculine dominant role". Sure, I am happy to be a "big spoon" or be the one in the stronger more protective position too, but I l absolutely love when a cuddler makes it easier to be more vulnerable!
3. Frank intimate conversation where we speak about our lives and feelings in a trusted way. There are some pro cuddlers who are less perhaps "physically cuddly" but such a trustworthy engaging person that they become the best!

Least Favorite Things Pros Do:
1. Driving somewhere where there isn't good parking and making me figure out the parking even though I don't know because I don't own a car. If travel is a problem, let me pay for an Uber or figure out public transit lol! This is also torture when I have new cleaners visit my apartment lol.
2. Talking about past significant others or family situations without first establishing a rapport. I am theoretically happy to talk about children or exes or even current partners with pro cuddlers once I get to know them, maybe on a second or third session, but it's sometimes weird or jarring to have a brand new cuddler tell me about their young children or boyfriend while we are cuddling.
3. Being unprofessional, which can include trying to pressure sell additional sessions or just generally treating the activity as something that feels more shadow-y than it ought to be. Using pro cuddling services should be something folks are happy to be honest about with other folks they know, something that is completely out in the open. I feel like some pros in the past have made things feel too informal with our relationship and blurred lines more than I'd like, making things feel not sexual or romantic but literally just too casual or "shady".

I'm sure there are many more things I can say on these lists, but what does everyone else think of this?

Comments

  • [Deleted User]MaverickLegend (deleted user)

    Favorite: show up
    Least favorite: not show up

    1. Driving somewhere where there isn't good parking and making me figure out the parking even though I don't know because I don't own a car.

    If they are coming to you that is a legitimate question. You might also get asked if there is a charge for parking. They are coming to a strange neighborhood, possibly at night, and as a female, they incur far more risk just cuddling a stranger, let alone being in unfamiliar surroundings. Are you really that lethargic that you are unable to find out about the parking? Once you do you will know going forward as well. This isn’t rocket science and all you need is a bit of empathy.

  • @BoomerSpooner when you Iive in a city and don't own a car, you often don't know anything at all about where to park and what the laws are. I'll admit that now to be proactive, I will ask questions to ensure folks are comfortable getting to me, but in the past I assumed someone was arriving by public transit or familiar with the area when I told them my address, and then all of the sudden, I get a stressful phone call asking about parking.

    For that one time, I ended up paying for them to go to a local garage, but that drives me crazy when professionals force clients to handle parking arrangements last minute in a dense city. Same issue with brand new cleaners too. I think it's fair to charge clients for transport or parking costs, but the literal logistics should be on the professional to be proactive about in my opinion. And I'm happy to discuss logistics and give suggestions for best ways to visit me, but I want to do that well before the session lol and don't want to have to be the one worrying about it!

  • spitsdrink @lonelytauros you nailed it. . . On another note and In my admittedly limited experience here… I understand pros get a lot of hassle, boundary pushing and similar… and don’t last long in this work. Understandably they can become jaded and cautious especially with new clients. I had one pro that I would say was uncomfortable with cuddling due to a previous encounter. Most of the session she was tense and nervous and could not relax, and therefore I couldn’t either. My heart nevertheless went out to her as she recounted a few experiences.

  • I think it's fair to charge clients for transport or parking costs, but the literal logistics should be on the professional to be proactive about in my opinion.

    @StructuredQueryLanguage I was in a city 1500 miles away from home at a hotel and area I have never been to before this week and I was asked that question. I said I don’t know and I said I would ask and found out about on premises parking and on street parking. Not very stressful at all. If that is a challenge for you then maybe put it in your profile that you know nothing about your surroundings and don’t care to know so they can make an informed decision whether to cuddle you at all.

  • @BoomerSpooner lol, I don't know if you've been to New York or New Jersey. Parking here in cities is a nightmare. Lots of folks have mild post-traumatic stress over street-parking situations, and I am not joking. Dealing with parking is often panic-inducing for people, so I'd rather that no one puts me in that situation. I am happy to be accommodating figuring out a solution beforehand, but I just don't want to have to help someone park... please not that... please lol!

  • @timbear50 definitely my heart goes out if someone had negative experiences with improper clients. I don't blame anyone for that, though I'd hope they're able to find clients they can relax with and have amazing sessions with!

  • edited May 2023

    @StructuredQueryLanguage Yes I have been to NYC several times. Your narrative has changed from her asking questions about parking to you parking for them. Questions about parking are relatively simple. If they have problems after your answers then that is on them. I have had these questions pop up in several cities—Boston is the most common one I get these questions—and questions about parking charges and where to park are pretty basic and it is a common courtesy to provide the basic information. If you won’t answer the basic questions about your own area then I think you are raising red flags for some women.

    I know, I know you think they should have to do all the work. That says volumes about you—that it is all about you. But if that’s your approach, be prepared for eventual rejection because some things are not about the money for pros.

  • Love this post and I am also not a fan of tricky parking or just navigating unfamiliar spots on general. I’m interested to see what others continue to share.

    Having worked with some amazing pros I wanna answer this from my perspective as well ..

    @simsaddict is incredibly calm and accepting. She is always fully present and tuned in a way that ensures complete comfort and relaxation. She listens and always asks if feedback is wanted or if someone just needs to be heard. Double cuddles with her always leave me brimming with love, joy and an amazing sense of well being.

    @CuddlyKitKat is a stand out cuddler on her own but she also has brought along animals to cuddle sessions and adventures. Something about the company, love, affection and interaction with her animals just take the whole experience to another level.

  • @BoomerSpooner

    I'm happy to answer parking questions. I had an experience (with a cuddler not from this site) where I was never asked any questions about parking until someone was literally circling my building in a car calling me up frantically putting me in a tough situation to figure out a last minute solution in a downtown city area next to a stadium that had an event going on. It soured everything!

    I happily accommodate people and will call Ubers that I pay for and help them out. I just don't want to feel all that intense parking-related anxiety if I'm put in an unnecessarily complicated situation. It's good if pros are more assertive in minimizing logistical issues, that's my view.

    Why are you acting like I'm a bad person for having a different opinion about customer service expectations for a luxury experience of all things? I respect your views, and it's okay to disagree. Am I also self-centered for liking it better when delivery drivers (in suburbs like where my Mom lives with ample parking) go to the door rather than make me come to their car to pick up food? Am I lazy for thinking with a 20% tip and delivery fee and service fee that a delivery driver in a suburb with parking can walk to the door and not make me go to their car?

    We may have different opinions on customer service, but it's not a moral consideration. I think it's cool you disagree, and I enjoy your different perspective, but I will ask you to not disparage the way I strive to treat others well while still having a notion that I prefer certain things from my service providers whom I am also tipping and reimbursing on top of a base rate.

    Tipping is actually an area @BoomerSpooner where I usually always give 20%, and though I personally would judge myself as cheap or tacky if I gave less, I do not judge others. It's okay to feel differently about this, and I truly don't want to fight and / or hold any negative feelings towards you. I wish you the best and apologize if I offended you and just want to be friendly and continue discussing or debating without negatively judging anyone 👍.

  • Favorite Things

    1. Having perfect hygiene ...

    Agree that this is important, but I have only encountered problems with this a couple times.

    Being open to taking on the emotionally-giving role

    For me it's generally the opposite. Usually (not always) I'd rather be the giver, and most pros are fine with that, but a few try to keep it overly formal or like a therapy session and it doesn't work.

    Least Favorite

    Being unprofessional

    In some senses I 100% agree. Some pros are hard to schedule with, hard to communicate with, don't respond to messages on any kind of reasonable timeline, or do things like cancel last minute, just not show up, etc. Or worse yet, they scam, steal, lie, etc.

    I feel like some pros in the past have made things feel too informal with our relationship and blurred lines

    In my experience this is very common, but I'm almost always OK with it. In fact I usually prefer it. If a cuddle session with a pro feels more like some kind of formal therapy session than two friends hanging out, I'm probably not going to have a good time.

  • @CuddleWho I see all your points 👍.

    For me, I think the notion of two friends hanging out versus formal therapy is interesting. I do love having a friend-like rapport with my cuddler, but I still like the extra level of certainty and protection for everyone that the professional formality creates. Yes, we are friends (or at least something friend-like in its familiarity and empathy), but we recognize the boundaries and rules always come first, which is actually how I feel about my favorite bartenders and DJs.

  • @BoomerSpooner I think the parking thing is fair. Case in point, I grew up and have lived in LA my entire life. I had a session with a pro awhile back in Santa Monica. I left early assuming I would have parking issues. When I got to the hotel she was staying at, I could not park at the hotel and all of the street parking was either permit only or metered parking. All the meters within walking distance to the hotel had a 2 hour max limit. We were having a 2 hour session so figure walking to and from the hotel, it would have been longer than 2 hours. I ended up finding a meter that allowed more than 2 hours but it was not exactly close. I did make it in time for the session, the walk wasn’t a big deal. As I said, I’ve lived in LA my whole life but did not foresee the 2 hot meter max. The pro was visiting from out of state so she couldn’t have known. I don’t even think I mentioned it to her. If she was a local however and could have communicated all of this to me, it would have made it much easier. Was I mad though, no, not at all.

  • @StructuredQueryLanguage Only semi-related, but I’m shocked that someone—who is not an Uber or cab driver—attempted to drive and park in the city? I mean NYC, for clarity’s sake. I have to assume they were visiting and perhaps uninitiated in the misanthropy-inducing stress of traffic in a giant metropolis? Driving in certain cities requires nerves of steel and consistent white-knuckling of the steering wheel. Rage-filled drivers looking for a blood feud abound.

    I cannot believe any New Yorker or regular visitor would attempt to park in the city without some preparation. I am there around once a year and I always either fly or leave my car in New Jersey, pay for parking there, and take the PATH train…if I happen to be driving on the East coast. Not only is this cheaper, it probably takes less time to park in a garage next to the train, ride into NYC, and take the train to your destination from the WTC station. That’s my method, at least. Perhaps not the best solution for a few hours, but outsource an Uber to the client. I would be so stressed after that, any cuddling would be rife with anxiety. I’ve driven into New York once around 20 years ago, and you couldn’t pay me to do it again. One of the best parts of visiting the city is the excellent public transit.

  • Favorites:
    Read my profile
    Read my karma
    Communicate Clearly
    Communicate Boundaries
    Be polite
    Enjoy the session

    Least Favorite:
    Overly filtered pics
    All about the money
    Difficult booking
    Lack of communication
    Disinterest
    The word “tips” in their profile
    Added fees

  • @Rachel_P Yeah driving in NYC is a different animal. Aggressive pedestrians and drivers alike and you can’t yield too much to either group or you will be stuck.

    I do like how NYC is relatively walkable.

  • NYC is not hard to drive/park in.

  • I have not had that many engagements with the pro.

    I like being treated like a person, not a client. If that makes sense. I don’t want to be seen as a income or job.

  • I think you've touched on the main points. As far as parking: best neither party assume and simply communicate beforehand. I've had individuals send me addresses without any other information. I used to do deliveries in college so it's a pet peeve now when ppl just assume others will figure out their complicated dwellings.

    I live in a simple 2 family house yet I still have to overcommunicate directions explaining my location/driveway otherwise I get that anxious call/text or someone yelling from their car "is it OK to park here?!" I live in a quiet area so the idling in front of the house or yelling draws attention/creates suspicion. Therefore, I think it's a human fault and not a city problem (although city is the worse since you cant idle at all to read signs/directions).

    When a guest: I use google maps satellite to familiarize myself with area and hopefully able to see which door I'd be using as well as where I will park. Then I ask all/any questions before the day of session. That being said I am familiar with the city (both in vehicle and on foot) and it is unnecessarily overwhelming even when you are prepared.

    I prefer meditating before a session so my mind is clear and I can be 100% present (#2 & #3 on ur list not possible otherwise) and any zen dissipates after such a journey. Lastly, if taking public transportation I won't feel as though I have "perfect" hygiene by the time I arrive (#1). Not to mention no matter what shoes/sneakers I wear they'll always get ruined walking in the dirty city (additional costs). Maybe those already in the city are accustomed to it, but for cuddling the city is out the question for me personally bc of all these reasons.

  • Excellent and well thought-out list, @StructuredQueryLanguage.

    I've not seen a Pro one on one, but in the various group cuddle settings I've been to, here are my favorite traits of Pro's:

    • Humility (some not even identifying themselves as Pro's and just blending in with the group)
    • Genuine interest, empathy, & listening skills
    • Eagle eyes that pick up on subtle needs of the members of the group
    • A playful spirit and approachable demeanor
    • Serious about boundaries, protective of the group members
    • A desire and capacity to nurture and celebrate growth in others

    Shout-out to @justjennn for tapping pretty much all of these!!

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

  • The one thing that I really dislike about professionals are the ones that I’ve sent a request and I get nothing back in return. I’ve gone from asking what’s needed for an appointment to I’m interesting in making an appointment and I’ve gotten no reply whatsoever. I would at least like a, no or no thank you. I don’t need a reason just a reply.

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