Don't lie to your clients, just block them

iCuddle23iCuddle23
edited June 2023 in General

This is a burner account in different city, but I hired a cuddler and it went well. Or so I thought. They gave me a 5 star review and everything. I got a goodnight text and hope to see you again etc.

Well I messaged them on here again asking to book another session just a day after. And well, I got ignored for 2 days. They were online constantly, so I asked if I had done something wrong.

They sent me a long text saying they were busy, had a lot of sessions but wanted to see me again. I doubted that, since they had a newer account (under 5 reviews) and ignored me. So I made a new profile, under a different name and contacted them.. They told me they were free the whole week.

They clearly did not like me as their texts and review suggested. I would've been fine with just getting blocked or told off. I'm not planning on meeting them again. I just wanted to share this experience, because I thought it was kinda messed up.

Poll removed. OP is encouraged to contact the mods instead of airing their grievances in the forums. [Charlie_Bear]

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Comments

  • RadiantHugsRadiantHugs Mod
    edited June 2023

    Making a burner account as you described is against the terms of service.

    And honestly, your willingness to ignore the rules in this regard prompts me to question where else you might have broken them. Like in your session perhaps?

  • stormydaycuddlestormydaycuddle Mod
    edited June 2023

    Sometimes people don't click but aren't worth a full block because you did nothing wrong. I think her attempt to be polite about it may have been the right thing to do while the digging deeper is almost stalkerish. Not everyone is going to give you the answer you want in the way you want. It's part of life. People are as direct as their personality allows and that needs to be respected as well. The inability of some to grasp that everyone is human and we all have our way of handling uncomfortable situations is mind blowing. Empathy is needed for both the person rejected and the person doing the rejecting. So while I do empathize with your situation you'd have never known that if you hadn't decided that you didn't like her first answer. Which is crossing some boundaries on its own. You were sus and you decided to go the stalker route which in and of itself says something about why she may have avoided a more truthful answer.

  • stormydaycuddlestormydaycuddle Mod
    edited June 2023

    @RadiantHugs Thank you. I was scared I was going to be the only one to notice that. She's clearly uncomfortable giving a straight answer which tends to mean boundary crossing. The second account is 100% in that realm.

  • Mike403Mike403
    edited June 2023

    At the end of the day, it doesn't matter. Reach out to other people. I don't want to be with someone who isn't thrilled to be with me because the session wont go well. If they are truly busy on the date and time you want, they will suggest a new time.

  • RadiantHugsRadiantHugs Mod

    @stormydaycuddle yes, to me it was very revealing when I saw the OP not only admit to making a new account but describe the stalker like behavior in which he tries to figure out that the pro didn’t want to meet again. It just smells a bit off to me. I’m sure the OP is lonely and needs cuddles, but the creepy approach just scares the hell out of me.

  • TxTomTxTom

    @iCuddle23 Why are you so obsessed with her? If she's not responding just move on.
    Don't let it bother to you.

    Good call @RadiantHugs
    Agree @stormydaycuddle

  • [Deleted User]SmokyQuartz (deleted user)

    Bold of you to confess in the forums.

  • AllAboutSoulAllAboutSoul

    You're questioning her motives, but you're admitting to stalking her? Nope nope nope. The only problem here is you. She owes you nothing, but she sounds like she was being kind.

  • [Deleted User]MrAdmirer (deleted user)
    edited June 2023

    @iCuddle23 sounds like you are too attached. I think you come off as creepy just on this post, so I can only imagine "her" side of this story. This is a platonic site. You are better off booking multiple pros so you don't get this attached to any one particular cuddler.

  • TxTomTxTom

    @Molly_B It's always interesting to watch someone plunge the sword into their own chest.

  • iCuddle23iCuddle23

    @stormydaycuddle and @RadiantHugs I don't think you all know what a stalker is. All I did was make an alt and ask her if she was available. May be borderline, but @Molly_B there's nothing to confess.

  • Mike403Mike403

    @iCuddle23 - It isn't full blown stalking in the legal sense, but that behavior points towards it. Now she might be worried that you'll stalk her in real life.

  • stormydaycuddlestormydaycuddle Mod
    edited June 2023

    @iCuddle23 That is the very definition of a stalker. All you did was go stealth mode to avoid being detected to dig further into something a woman said to you that you disliked. I don't want to point to childishness as well but it can be construed in such a way. Almost even dangerously pressing boundaries at this point. That and being aggressively interested in her life and motives may not be your intent but it is of many who go this route.

  • [Deleted User]SmokyQuartz (deleted user)

    @iCuddle23 you may want to familiarize yourself with the terms around creating multiple accounts. 😬 though I have a feeling you already know you shouldn’t have done that.

  • TxTomTxTom

    @iCuddle23 I think I might have clicked the wrong button.

    In your poll, is "the cuddler" you, or the poor woman you're probably scaring to death?

  • iCuddle23iCuddle23

    @TxTom I'm not obsessed with anyone. If you actually read the prompt.. i've already gone no contact after confirming. I just didn't want to waste my time.

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    Why not just accept her at her word that she was tied up? Seems kind of like you went out of your way to get hurt. And my guess is this tale is going to make other pros shy away from you...

  • Mike403Mike403

    @WriterGF - That's probably why he posted under a burner account. The mods should reveal to us his true identity.

  • iCuddle23iCuddle23

    @stormydaycuddle I think you're a bit exaggerating my reaction to the situation. I literally just asked her one question and that was it. There was no 'digging' or me being aggressively interested in her like you're suggesting.

  • w8ed_blanketw8ed_blanket

    My dude, that is some problematic behavior (=stalking) and entitlement that you are exhibiting. You two both agreed to a cuddling session; this transaction was done. You are not entitled to their time after that. If either party wants to end any further interaction for whatever reason: that's that. Move on.

    I hard agree with @RadiantHugs and @stormydaycuddle. @stormydaycuddle smacked right on the nose.

    Sometimes people don't click but aren't worth a full block because you did nothing wrong. I think her attempt to be polite about it may have been the right thing to do while the digging deeper is almost stalkerish. Not everyone is going to give you the answer you want in the way you want. It's part of life. People are as direct as their personality allows and that needs to be respected as well.

    Considering the level of physical danger a woman could get into in these physically intimate spaces, especially with male clients, it is a lot safer for women to just ignore than to be confrontational. Additionally, women are pressured by gender norms to be non-confrontational. Not everyone has a forward personality.

    A lot of pros, from my experience, will leave people with good karma if they were respectful but may not to cuddle with them again since it was not a fit. Everyone on this site has the autonomy to decide who they want or not want to cuddle with.

  • [Deleted User]MrAdmirer (deleted user)

    @WriterGF this is actually a good thing. I'm getting quite tired of seeing guys post crap like this in general forums. It makes us all look bad.

  • stormydaycuddlestormydaycuddle Mod

    @iCuddle23 Did you or did you not delve deeper into something she said using a burner account?

  • Mike403Mike403

    @iCuddle23 - Constant unwanted attention especially being under the disguise of an alt account is stalkish behavior no matter how you look at it.

  • iCuddle23iCuddle23

    @WriterGF because her reaction didn't make any sense. why message me after the session, tell me how good it went, give me a full review and text me after to book another session then just randomly ignore/lie to me. If you don't like me, you can just block me. I don't get it, is that not like unprofessional? And somehow i'm the bad guy for exposing the truth lol.

  • Mike403Mike403

    @iCuddle23 - Maybe because you'll see that you have been blocked and she wants to spare your feelings.

  • stormydaycuddlestormydaycuddle Mod
    edited June 2023

    @iCuddle23 or she felt endangered. Which is also a reason for not being direct. You are already rubbing so many boundaries in your answers to this post it is not hard to see it at all.
    Which again may not be your intent but something you may want to become aware of. And why this comes across as wrong.
    @Mike403 yep

  • iCuddle23iCuddle23

    @w8ed_blanket I understand what you're saying, but I believe they were in the wrong for engaging in conversation/texts to suggest another session when they're simply lying? Is that just their entitlement or them just being rude? Maybe both? I think you're pointing the finger at me a bit too hard because i'm a male.

  • BearBear

    You question her motives, you could be lying. You’re not above being deceitful. You have no problem breaking rules. You are also very upset and trying to get people on your side.

    Yeah, you want us to think she is the bad person

    Why are you letting this take free rent in your head. Let it go.

  • CharlieBearCharlieBear Mod
    edited June 2023

    @iCuddle23
    So she leaves you good karma and is nice to you, but just doesn’t seem like she wants book another session. You then go and make another account to deceive her since you are not up front about who you are, and you are asking who is in the wrong? Perhaps consider she is afraid of angering you and having to deal with a stalker, which ended up being the case anyway. You tell others they should look up the definition yet you are telling us here you went incognito to try to pry into someone’s availability while hiding your identity. Sigh…

    If the pro in question is reading this, please message me.

  • Mike403Mike403

    @iCuddle23 - If I ask to meet somebody and they say they're busy, unless they suggest another time, I'm not contacting them again. They will reach out to me if they really want to see me.

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