I'm interested in what ppl have to say 👀
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It was nice we solved Some algebraic equations did some calculus and trigonometry talked about different philosophies and ethics. We debated back-and-forth whether or not the Earth was flat. It was a very pure and wholesome experience.
My first time "officially" platonic cuddling was at a cuddle party (lower case because it wasn't one host by an official CuddleParty rep). I was super nervous because 1) I have social anxiety in group settings in general, 2) I still wasn't entirely sure what to expect even though I'd done a lot of research first, 3) I have had a lot of touch trauma and issues with boundaries in the past. It ended up being a wonderful, healing, laughter-filled experience though and I got hooked. Most of the participants were also newbies like me and a few others also confessed to being SA survivors, so it broke the ice a lot and made me feel a lot more comfortable discussing triggers and issues. We did some consent and communication practices in pairs, and then the host guided us through some "warm up" cuddle exercises like hand and neck/shoulder massages, laying our heads on peoples' laps for head scritches, and cuddling positions with differing levels of entanglement/intimacy. We were encouraged to swap partners with each exercise, much like how beginner ballroom dance classes work, but we also could stay wherever we were most comfortable with no judgement or sit out if we wished. I never felt pressured, which was really nice, and I liked that the host had balanced the genders present to be slightly femme/NB heavy so it felt like a safe space and not so male dominated. I had thought going in I would mostly only want to cuddle with my acquaintance who was also going, but I ended up enjoying cuddling with about 3 people during the free time. Definitely lost track of time, which isn't typical for me in social situations where I normally burnout quickly.
I've enjoyed quite a few unofficial cuddle parties since, all of them radically different depending on who was present. I'm hoping to complete facilitator training myself so I can host my own as I have ideas on how I'd like to hold space as well. They definitely can get addictive if you're an ambivert like me who both craves social interaction but also gets overstimulated easily because they tend to be so soothing and low key.
Awkward but we got through it
I don't cuddle and tell
@lonelytauros No Differential Equations or Euclidean Geometry?? Who can have a good time without them??
My 1st cuddle was with someone who was lovely. I had a couple "bad eggs" after that, but I'm thankful that my 1st CC connection was caring and I still chat with him occasionally, but he doesn't cuddle regularly through the site now
@Motorbaby well it was my first cuddle, so I was a little nervous, but I was sure to include them in my future cuddles lol 😂
Extremely nervous. But it ended up being the right person at the right time to put me at ease with it.
My 1st time cuddling was at a friend's apartment during my junior year of college. His girlfriend invited one of her coworkers (I'll call her S), and all four of us watched a movie. I initially sat somewhat awkwardly on a beanbag chair, while the host couple cuddled on the couch and S was stretched out on a convertible futon.
A few minutes into the movie, S gave me a strange look and asked me if I'd like to join her since I seemed uncomfortable in the chair. I happily obliged, though I was initially afraid to lean on her in any way. Soon after joining her, she held me and squeezed me tight during a scary part of the movie. We spent the rest of the movie periodically checking in on each other to make sure we were comfortable, then we went to sleep.
Nine years later, I still remember how refreshed and happy I was when I woke up the following morning. I've embraced the power of cuddling ever since.
My first cuddle was amazing. It was before I joined here, but I could not have asked for a better way to be introduced to the world of cuddling. 10 out of 10, immediately booked again.
My experiences with cuddling fall into three categories.
1) With trusted friends, family, and partners: Amazing. I truly miss friendly, supportive, caring, and gentle cuddling.
2) With enthusiasts here on Cuddle Comfort: Non-existent. Two years of patience with more patience awaiting me.
3) With professional cuddlers: The majority of my experiences are being messaged by a professional here, and explaining politely that I have no interest in hiring a cuddler.
Previous to that, I had booked three different professionals, only to have all three cancel before the scheduled session.
I did have a fourth scheduled session with a professional actually happen, because I am nothing if not willing to fail until I succeed. And the experience was terrible.
Clearly professional cuddling works for some people, but not for me.
Through this site? It was fun. The cuddler was nice. She was a pro and I was pleasantly surprised at how informal the experience was.
@CharlesInWI
I did have a fourth scheduled session with a professional actually happen, because I am nothing if not willing to fail until I succeed. And the experience was terrible. Clearly professional cuddling works for some people, but not for me.
I completely understand not wanting to try again after some bad experiences, but FWIW, I think it's very likely you just had some bad luck and might have some great cuddles if you give it a couple more tries. There are indeed a number of flaky or just outright bad pro cuddlers, but there are also some great ones too.
My first experience was at a cuddle party in 2013. I was extremely nervous and I had be separated from my wife. She never cuddled with me, and at this point I was lacking the nurture of physical touch.
It was a amazing experience. And it helped me get through my separation and when my mom went into hospice, it definitely helped then also. It also help me learn about consent culture. It’s been a very beneficial path.
I was really amazed that someone would cuddle with me. Kindov nervous but she jumped right into half spoon an we just had chill conversation 😌 I was like this is it?? But than when we got up I realized I felt super high and felt the most zen that I had ever felt. Iv been a cuddle addict ever sense:)
My first cuddling experience was less than a year ago. I arranged for a professional session and we met at a hotel. I was very nervous but I knew I needed it because I recently suffered a traumatic loss. My wife passed away from cancer. However, my first session to me was a 10 out of 10 and I’m hooked on cuddling forever. I can’t find any local enthusiasts and I’m not comfortable asking any of my friends. I’ll stick to professionals. I would like to experience a cuddle party like @CuddleFaerie mentioned. I hope to attend one someday.
My first girlfriend didn't believe in sex before marriage so all we did was focus on cuddling which was great! Speaking of just platonic, years ago I attended my first cuddle party in Santa Monica, it was well structured and everyone there was super cool. There no awkward feelings. The space could have been a little bigger as it was a tiny yoga studio on the Promenade. I got to spoon and give massages, I even kept in contact for a brief time with one of the women I met there, but we never got around to cuddling again sadly.
My "first time as a cuddler" was lovely and I honestly believe I lucked out getting to have it be with who it was. But it for sure wasn't what's considered 'typical', and for sure not a recommended path...
I reached out to him first because I thought he was empathetic, funny and insighful in the forum threads I'd read. This followed to a friendship forming through messages, then texts and conversations. After a couple months, I recieved a surprise opportunity to go meet him and I jumped at it. I felt comfortable going because we'd covered so much ground begorehand, and it was kind of like I'd known him for quite some time by then.
And although it all worked out well for me as a first timer, I suppose the reality is that it could have not. I mean, flying halfway across the country to meet for the first time ever at the doorway of our AirBnB, for a three day cuddle-fest, with someone who was a 'stranger' from the internet that I'd only 'known' for a few months beforehand, is like a set up for something one might hear about on a true crime podcast where the audience is like, "Well, duh!!" But again, it worked out pretty good great for me, and my time with him set the bar incredibly high for all who've followed. 💓
@quixotic_life What a lovely story that is! Were there any meerkats ?
@pmvines... I didn't see a single one!! But to be fair I didn't check under the bed, in the closet or behind the curtain... 😘
My first time as a cuddler on this site? It was excellent. She introduced me to what professional cuddling is. Since then I’ve had wonderful sessions with 5 different awesome gals on this site and they all have been great experiences.
@quixotic_life you know how those pesky critters like to hide
My first time was amazing. It felt so natural that I was shocked! There were five seconds of awkwardness when his dog got in the couch and became a barrier as we tried to ease into it.
However, afterwards, I had a lot of emotional aftermath. I had never cuddled with a non family member like that. I felt like I had shared such an intimate moment with someone I barely knew. I also wrestled with accepting that my biological response might not match my mental state or platonic intentions.
I accepted this as part of the learning and talked it through with some friends and the cuddler. My insights were that I need to remain with simpler positions, like laying on a shoulder and firm hugs, and be more mindful of time.
Second was way better because we spent some time together walking and talking first and it ended up happening spontaneously. I avoided spooning this time, which I decided I need to hold off on at least at first. Hoping the learning continues.
What a lovely thread!! 😌 So fun reading about everyone's first cuddles!
My first cuddles outside of my boyfriends were at a group cuddle led by @justjennn. It was a beautiful and worldview-opening experience.
My first more individual cuddle was with @JohnR1972 at a house cuddle. I settled into his arms on a couch and sunk into bliss for the rest of the evening, barely aware of the movie we were all supposed to be watching, just enveloped in a sense of peace, calm, acceptance, and delight. I never wanted to leave.
I've written more about my overall experience beginning cuddling, here:
https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/forum/discussion/14443/so-i-started-cuddling/p1
~ Sunset Snuggles
I loved it. She was very sweet and kind. Her touch was nice and soft. I loved her. Will definitely repeat again with her.
It was awesome! It was just what I needed to help with my anxiety and depression!
My first experience with cuddling was at an official cuddle party in the Dallas area. It was a great experience. I was nervous at first but by the time it was over I felt completely comfortable. Since then I've been to many other parties and have met wonderful people and 2 of my closest friends.
Scary, but I thought, hey I got this. (what the hell am I doing?) Held my breath and took the leap… Onto my Murphy bed, after designating his side and offering him water. Then just hugged him like I’d known him forever (not 5 minutes) It was the most amazing feeling to do that with another human - a stranger no less! who needed something caring from me. I felt like I’d found what I was supposed to be doing.
@SunsetSnuggles I still love hearing the impact of my facilitation on you, every single time!
My first time was at a community cuddle facilitated by another professional cuddle therapist. She curated the most incredibly safe environment for me to let all of my needs be heard. I was able to speak up about touch that hurt and touch that I wished felt good. Over the years and many community cuddles later, I decided to become a pro to do my own flavor of facilitation. Now, I get to help other people transcend their own touch trauma and live a more empowered life, through platonic, non-sexual touch!
He was kind. I had to run through the rain, jumping puddles, to get to him. He welcomed me with a smile! We got a bite to eat, then went to our Cuddle Destination. I was nervous, but starving, and he was a warm, pleasant man. Told me all kinds of funny stories (I LOVE stories!!!), and that helped. In our spot, I asked if I could be the "Big Spoon" (I think he knew that I was nervous!); he obliged. Because my Life Partner is somewhat touch-averse, it had been quite a while since I'd felt someone cuddle INTO ME. I melted! STILL GRATEFUL to that kind, warm, gentle, funny man!