Its not difficult for cuddlers to catch feelings I think. If you end up spending repeat sessions with a cuddler and you start to catch feelings what do you do?
Depends, is this a Pro you're shelling out money to, or an enthusiast?
~ Sunset Snuggles
both are humans afterall
@manaman If you're paying her money, it's generally suggested that you widen your experience and start seeing other Pro's. This is a common tactic used to avoid this.
If it's an enthusiast, I suppose you're free to voice your feelings, though many of the women here may not receive it well, as it is supposed to be platonic. But who knows, maybe she has feelings for you, too.
If it's a pro, I suggest seeing other pros because it's a business transaction and they might feel uncomfortable if they know their client is getting romantic feelings for them.. If it's an enthusiast, you can trying speaking to them about your feelings.
@SunsetSnuggles and I were commenting at the same time and said the exact same thing.
I'd say for me it's not a big deal. Pple can be attracted to dance partners , co-workers, and friends , but it doesn't mean you have to act on them bc a lot of times that social situation is not appropriate.
I mean, if you're totally in love and hope for a future someday, I guess it couldn't hurt - but there's always a risk the relationship can end bc it wasn't built on attraction and romance.
I would say before doing it , ask yourself is it true feelings or just a hospitable human being in close proximity? Do you tend to fall in love easily or is this built on something solid? Can you continue with the status quo or does it have be expressed? Can you divert those feelings in a different environment or person, or does this person have to be the one?
Yes, agree with the others. With pros, if you're not prepared, you can easily catch feelings as they are giving you an unrealistic amount of positive attention that you almost won't ever find in a mutual enthusiast relationship, or even a dating relationship, for that matter.
If it's an enthusiast, try to be as respectful as you can if you feel like there is enough rapport to share your feelings. In other words, try to give them an easy 'out' or way to express that they aren't interested in something like that. Better not to ask them over CC, as only platonic activities and intentions are allowed here, so ask them via text or via a non cuddle meetup.
It’s hard not to catch feelings, but just to be realistic about it.
Don't ask via text. Have a face to face conversation when you're not cuddling. (the cuddling high can alter your emotions)
I caught the feels for a Pro once. Sadly she was a traveler and put roots down in her home town, we had talked about me visiting her out there but then she got back with her ex before I could make it out 🤷♂️
People catch feels, even if they're a pro. Worst that can happen is they don't have the same feelings and you lose a cuddle buddy OR they caught the feels too and it works out.
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Yeah, I think it’s easy to catch feelings for a pro especially when you don’t receive that kind of attention or physical affection in your daily life I know for me there were a couple of cuddle experiences where it was very bland and I was like I don’t see what the big deal is I don’t see what the hype is and then there were a couple of cuddle experiences where I was just like wow this is amazing and I wanted to repeat that experience over and over But the financial side caught up with me and I couldn’t continue.
@lonelytauros - You can still repeat that experience. Just not as often. Put a little bit of money aside each month.
In a word: practicing healthier boundaries and self-care, getting your emotional needs met properly, learning to recognize your relationship patterns and maladaptations.
Some helpful reading:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/in-therapy/201206/clients-guide-transference
https://www.massageschoolnotes.com/transference-for-massage-therapists/
https://cuddlesanctuary.com/fall-in-love/
https://www.doctornerdlove.com/how-can-i-avoid-falling-in-love-with-my-friend/
https://psychcentral.com/health/anxious-attachment-style-signs#is-change-possible
Hasn't happened
I'm not sure of the phrase "catch feelings"....but if you're talking about deepening a connection, then isn't that what life is about? I love to grow in loving friendship with many humans in my life, even with someone for whom I was a client, or he/she was a client of mine. Escaping the binary trap is not easy, of course.....we seem to be afraid, as a culture, of living in paradox, as well as examining the wide gray area. I have made at least one life-long friend from cuddling, but I make sure to still respect the transactional element when we do cuddle. But we also are friends and engage with each other as such too. After all, most pro cuddlers see an end to the work and have other projects as well as business goals. Thus, becoming friends may last longer than the actual work. I have also become friends with baristas at coffee houses I have frequented, and with a herbalist who I met at her stand in a farmer's market.
There are all kinds of ways to connect with people, and you'll meet future friends, and lovers, in the strangest places. But of course in this work, as others have noted, transference is common, as it is with therapists of all sorts, so one must be careful to check in with the other to make sure the feeling-catching is mutual
When I started going to cuddle parties 10 years ago they would talk about this. You may get attracted or aroused by cuddling. Which is human. Just don’t act upon it.
That’s pretty much what I do. I respect boundaries and don’t act on it.
Seeing other people if they’re are a pro….
I'm reacting to the phrase "catch feelings." As if it was a cold or flu.
If two cuddlers connect and want to mutually further connect, then I don't see an issue, but the scenario itself is so wide open anything is possible. Is one a Pro and one an enthusiast? Both enthusiasts? Both are Pros? What if one was gay and the straight one was the one that wanted to further connect and the gay one says no thanks? What if both are the same gender and also both straight? What if both are already in relationships? What if one is and the other isn't? What if both of them are closet cuddlers?
Maybe catching feelings IS an appropriate phrase.
I took my "feelings" vaccine. I should be safe.
I have seen people declare their love to pros before they have even met them in person. I suggest not doing that.
I would just be careful how you approach it because you could be losing a cuddle buddy if things do not go as you hope it will.
that happend to me once a few years back after about a month of cuddling with the same girl almost everyday, non pro and then i asked her if she wanted to be my girl and she said yes a couple months after we moved in together a year after we we engaged to be married a couple months after that we broke up, moral of the story dont date your cuddler
@Charlie_Bear - Yes.. If one person declares their love to another who doesn't feel the same, the relationship will never be the same. Their cuddle partner will most likely stop seeing them. It's a very dangerous thing to do.
I don't get declaring their love to somebody they never met though. That doesn't make any sense. How do they know that they're not a psychopath?
@Mike403 When they do that it is very apparent what their intentions are and their time on the site usually comes to an abrupt end 😅
@Mike403 Happens all the time online. People meet who are over distance and get involved through messages and texts, etc. Sometimes it works out, often it doesn't. As one of my friends (who lost his wife to an online thing) said, "Everyone looks great until you have to pick up their socks."
Like @Mike403 I took my feeling vaccine too!Totally recommend 😊
@Charlie_Bear - An enthusiast wouldn't be as bad although still bannable for using the site for dating... but a pro? They are here to conduct business. It's kind of strange that a client would automatically assume they are interested in dating them just because they are talking to them.