What do women like in a man's profile?

[Deleted User]MichaelFJudd (deleted user)
edited February 2018 in General

Hey. So, after about half a year of being on here, I have paid three professionals, but my conversations with female enthusiasts have been unsuccessful.

I have messaged a lot of people on here, and I have used different strategies that people have suggested: ask them about things in their profile, don't be too up front about cuddling right away, etc. etc.

I either 1) get no response, 2) see that they viewed my profile but ignored me, 3) have a message exchange where I get ghosted, or 4) have to wait a week before the enthusiast responds.

It is by no means a lack of available people, because I live 30 miles from Los Angeles.

I am suspecting that my lack of success is attributed to my age (I'm only 22 years old), or else the fact that I have no job (because I am a full-time student at a university).

So, women (or men), could you help me out a bit? If a guy messages you or you see his profile, what do you like/not like? And maybe you could critique my profile? I think my profile looks good, and I have two positive karma. Is there anything else that I could improve upon?

Comments

  • AshleyCuddlesAshleyCuddles

    Hi Michael. Looks fine to me at first glance. I would maybe fix the spelling and take out the word session because it makes you sound like a professional. Rephrase it to invite them to chat and get to know each other.

  • [Deleted User]SJSpooner (deleted user)

    Hello @MichaelFJudd - I took a look at your profile and I really like it. Not too long, but you give enough information about yourself for anyone to get a sense of who you are and what your interests are. The one line I might rethink is the one that says something like: "hit me up/contact me if you want a session'. This was a bit confusing to me and had me scrolling back to the top of your profile to see if maybe you were a Professional. I suggest you reword this. Maybe go with something like "if anything here sounds interesting and you'd be interested in exchanging a few messages, please get in touch"... or something like that. As others have said in other threads - for most people (especially enthusiasts) it is important to establish some sort of rapport with a potential cuddle friend.

    Yes, you are relatively young but from what I have gathered there are plenty of fellow cuddlers within your age range. All I can say is be patient. It is true that most women on here receive multiple messages a week (if not a day). Sometimes it is too emotionally taxing to respond to each and every one in a timely matter. I have corresponded with many men and have had zero cuddles yet. So I must practice what I preach.

    Good luck! You seem like a genuine, intelligent and lovely young man.

  • [Deleted User]MichaelFJudd (deleted user)

    @AshleyCuddles okay. Thank you! :) May I ask, if you were seeking a non-paid session, hypothetically, what about a man's profile/conversation would appeal to you? (Things like age, interests, etc.)

  • AshleyCuddlesAshleyCuddles

    Gosh if I were seeking a non paid cuddle meet up what would draw me to someone is humor. If there was a way that you show that you are funny and easy going while respecting boundaries I couldn't imagine going wrong. I love cuddling and being able to laugh and joke together. It makes it so much more enjoyable for me personally and time flies when you are having fun. Hope that helps hun

  • [Deleted User]MichaelFJudd (deleted user)

    @AshleyCuddles it does. Thanks! :)

  • AshleyCuddlesAshleyCuddles

    Awesome! :) Good luck and hugs!

  • UKGuyUKGuy

    Advice from a man. Looks count for women, no matter what they say. Neaten yourself up a bit, a plain T-shirt does not hack it and take a photo with a nicer background. Look right at the camera and smile (unless you have bad teeth in which case don't). Hey, it's free advice so don't complain.

  • [Deleted User]SJSpooner (deleted user)

    @MichaelFJudd - I disagree with UKGuy. I think you look really friendly and nicely casual in your photo. Kind of gives me an idea of how you might greet me if I came over for a cuddle! :-) I see no need to change it. Just thought I would add my 2 cents as a woman!

  • MorpheusMorpheus
    edited February 2018

    @MichaelFJudd how about a pic with you rocking out on your guitar? A lot of women love musicians. I’m a dude so for whatever it’s worth, you look like a pretty cool guy in your pic.

  • ScarletteScarlette

    @MichaelFJudd ... I love you picture! You look like you're just trying to look like you. I can't lie, I'd love to run my fingers through your hair! I disagree with @UKGuy. Not all women care about looks, in general, much less with cuddling. I don't even ask for a pic of my clients until I confirm them for the last time and that's for safety purposes. I would remove the "hit me up if you want a session". "Session" is not the right word for you to use and "hit me up" sounds a bit young and casual. Maybe "Feel free to message me so we can get to know each other and share some cozy cuddles".

  • great_pillow08great_pillow08

    What type of movies do you like to watch? Do you live by yourself or have roommates? What kind of guitar do you play? These questions would tell me what your temperment is like. Like, how relaxed you are and what you're likely to have to talk about. How "relatable" you are, I believe is what they call it. And unless she's using this as a dating site, your looks aren't going to matter. Personally, as long as they have an arm and a shoulder, I'm "good" with that. It's just cuddling, so as long as bullets aren't going to come flying in through your windows or there's loud music with foul language coming from your neighbors'(completely NONrelaxing environment), I'm "game", but then again, I'm also ridiculously low maintenance.. Just my 2 cents!!

  • MorpheusMorpheus

    Would you females mind tagging a male member in a comment in this thread that you feel has a great profile so that we can have an actual example of what you feel is good and inviting.

  • [Deleted User]SJSpooner (deleted user)

    @Morpheus - Happy to! I can think of 3 profiles off the top of my head. I've exchanged a message or more with each of these men.

    In each case I found it easy to find "conversation starters" in their profiles, and to get a sense of who they were and what their interests are. I will add that while each of these men have chosen to include pics - I believe that their profiles are written in such a way that I would have been interested in getting to know them even if they had not chosen to include a photo.

    This is by no means an exhaustive list:

    @OzVisitor
    @pmvines
    @alexcs5150

  • pmvinespmvines

    @MichaelFJudd It really is pretty much luck of the draw. I have rarely had someone reach out to me, and of the ones I reach out to its a mixed bag really. I can tell you the ones I have the most luck with making and keeping as cohorts on here are the ones who have been on a while and who actively participate in the forums. I am not really all that interesting, I live in Alabama, and I own up to being fat, ugly, and proud of it! My advice to you is don't change a thing about yourself and own your normalcy. Maybe try looking at people whom you talk to on here's friend lists, and reach out to them and say hey, I know so and so too, pretty cool creature huh? Good luck, you seem like an alright enough fella

  • alexcs5150alexcs5150

    Thank you @SJSpooner you are making me blush ;)

    If I could offer the OP any advice, it would be to try to make your messages long with plenty of points for the receiver to answer. I read every message before I send it and try to imagine what I would reply to it, if it's easy to answer it is more likely to get a reply.

    Don't worry about being a student, your age, your pic, your profile.. all are good (in my opinion at least) you just need the right person to come along. I've been here for nearly 2 years and this has only happened for me in the last week so don't worry if it takes a while.. good luck mate!

  • Missy87Missy87
    edited February 2018

    I like when men actually take the time to fill out their profile and message me through here a bit first or talk on the phone before scheduling a cuddle session. For some reason I've been receiving a lot of messages from guys with newly created profiles that don't have anything in them, no info about them, no pictures of them, yet every single one of them has said something along the lines of wanting to schedule a cuddling session asap. It's always late at night when I get these messages, too. One had a blank profile yet his first message to me was that he wanted to cuddle with me but first I had to to get on Skype or Google Hangouts and video chat with him, to "prove that that's really me in the pictures". Another one gave me his phone number in his first message, no hello or anything, and asked me to text him a picture of me to his phone. I find this annoying because I have pictures in my profile, as well as reviews from people who have actually met and cuddled with me. As a result I have been deleting messages from anyone who contacts me with a blank, newly created profile. I don't know where all these new users are coming from lately but I'm getting frustrated. Is anyone else experiencing this?

  • JasonCuddlesJasonCuddles

    I've had exactly what you describe happen to me. Likely nowhere near as often though.

  • LovelightLovelight

    It looks all good to me! :)

    In any case, I don't see why you being a student would be an issue.

    If you're comfortable with your messages then you're all good! It's just sometimes ladies might either be getting many a messages or be 'booked' or just busy in general. It's just try-try again and you're bound to find success. :)

  • LovelightLovelight
    edited February 2018

    @Missy87

    Exactly that sure happens and it's Fisher than fish. :pensive:

    I feel your comment would've made a good post though good as a comment too. I just think few more could relate and it could show any new members in case they're oblivious to that they need to put in effort before they ask another to.

    Not only it's annoying - it's just outright disrespectful. You do good ignoring it and such. They produce nothing at all yet quick to demand you to prove yourself, that's just disrespectful. They're wasting their time. However, I do get the need to just ignore all messages from new members with empty profiles/no picture/no good etiquette messaging etc. Though sometimes one might really not know any better and in a few days they might actually fill up their profile. Though still one should send a decent message even if they're wondering will I even get a response here or is it even free to message - which it is!

  • JRoseJRose
    edited March 2018

    The surefire quick and easy path to instacuddle bliss is to book a pro, hands down, because they have chosen to be available to cater to the needs of others. But that isn't always an option or what is needed. If I were not a pro and I was looking for a cuddle buddy for my own personal needs, I would look for someone who I could feel safe with. Obviously safe as in "please don't attack me," but I mean safe as in emotionally. What makes me feel safe? Someone who is sensitive, kind, mature, respectful. Someone who has done their personal work who isn't going to project their unconscious negativity or personal issues onto me. Someone who has honorable intentions who ISN'T going to push my boundaries & limitations. Someone tender yet strong, balanced and secure. I think because of this, I would find an older person more appealing. Like a gentle, loving parent or grandparent figure. But that doesn't mean I couldn't find an amazing bond with a younger person too! I think it's most important to work on becoming the type of person you want to attract and they will find you. Best of luck to you dear!

  • [Deleted User]MoonlightSonata (deleted user)

    Your profile is really nice and inviting. My advice would be to message a potential cuddler and maybe bring up some things you have read on their profile. Have a nice chat going. Get to know them for a while. Then approach the topic of cuddling. Tell them what your preferences are. Know that not all cuddlers are going to want the same thing. That's okay. Everyone is different and everyone has different boundaries. Just make sure you discuss what all of that stuff is before you arrange a meeting and you should be fine. :)

  • angela10angela10

    @MichaelFJudd I think your profile looks great. Not sure why women wouldn't reply. What @MoonlightSonata said is very true. Show interest about something that was written in their profiles. I don't usually respond to any messages that asked me "Are you free tonight?" Or "Let's meet and cuddle." Those onliners only creep women out.

  • [Deleted User]MoonlightSonata (deleted user)

    @angela10 Yeah I have found that the most successful cuddle sessions I have had (with even long-term cuddle partners) have been built with trust and open communication. If you are uncomfortable about a certain cuddling position it is definitely important to communicate this before the cuddle session takes place and even during it. Just as long as everyone is comfortable and knows their personal boundaries as well as the boundaries of others, it is a great experience for everyone involved. :)

  • [Deleted User]lilredmage (deleted user)

    Being honest and realistic here. I don't know if you are still reading this thread, Michael, but the reason you haven't received a response is because outside of professionals (and even with some of them, it still applies) they won't respond to you if they don't find you attractive or appealing. You are either too young, too old, the wrong race, too short, too tall, etc. And that's assuming that the profile of the person you are trying to get in contact with is even real. It doesn't matter how well written your profile may be or how much karma you have or how respectful or detailed your messages are. If they do not find you attractive or appealing, it's a no-go. It's no different than a dating website in that regard. I'm not saying this as a complaint, by the way. No one owes anyone a response. I just want you (and anyone else) to be aware of the reality of the situation. Keep trying, but don't expect much from enthusiasts.

  • amsmithamsmith

    Ayyyy, fellow person who wants no children!! Love seeing that!

    As far as to answer your question, I like humor, make me laugh, then I feel at ease.

    Your profile looks fine, except you have a lot of serious/intense faces on your profile. I personally am more like to respond if someone makes me laugh in the first few messages and if their pictures look like they laugh a lot. But the second part is a me thing. Humor goes for everyone.

    Also, unfortunately for you, most women are not going to go for younger guys. Has nothing to do with you being a student. Younger guys are thought to push boundaries more, even though you look like you put a lot of effort into your profile which shows you are serious about cuddling. No one is saying that, but thats my guess as to why you aren’t getting a lot of messages back.

    Don’t lie though about your age though, honesty is the best policy.

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